SA v. FARK

If you’re a FARKer or Something Awful reader, you probably know about The Photoshop Contest, which I was asked to judge.
Over the weekend, I finally found time to judge and comment on the entries, and Something Awful has posted the results.
If you’re not a regular SA reader, you should just be prepared: it’s not intended for kids, or the easily offended. I, however, think it is hilarious.
However, if you are a kid, or easily offended, dispair not! For while I was at FARK this morning, I stole for you, and now present to you, The Best. Picture. EVER!
Have a great day! My kids have the day off from school, so we’re hanging out together.

82 thoughts on “SA v. FARK”

  1. Thanks a lot for the comments on my pic & giving me 3rd place. Do I win a bit-part in Nemesis? I’d be happy to play anyone who dies in a gory and pointless way. :P
    Seriously tho, I’m part English, Irish & Scottish, so drink’s foremost on my mind 99% of the time. Hence where the idea for the picture came from.
    Keep on farking, regards,
    Dr_Satan

  2. Great judging job overall, I really enjoyed reading that, even if SA isn’t usually my kinda thing.
    Hafta say, though, the comment ofr the furry picture seemed a bit uncharacteristically harsh. I mean, as much as some furries go to excessive lengths to say “It’s not all about fucking animals!” it’s pretty apparenty even in a cursory look that it’s actually… well… NOT. And there’s plenty of other stuff to make fun of about, especially conssidering the subject of the entry; the vast archive of over-sized..parts… porn that even GOOD furry artists produce (The … VERY … human anatomy on most of this stuff should really sserve to illustrate that plenty of furries aren’t in it for the bestiality ;)) and the even vaster array of crappy porn that the not-so-good artists produce. Hell, a show like that to show them how to do it right might be a good idea, really. ;)

  3. I nearly spit my drink out when that picture loaded up.
    I wonder, do you think Gary Coleman was keeping David Hasselhoff occupied while Todd Bridges and Dana Plato were preparing to grab the hubcaps from KITT?
    Sure wish I could connect to SA right now…

  4. Crockett’s hangin in there, but Tubbs has really gone to hell. “You lazy bastards, give me a hand with this fucking ladder.” “All eyes were on David Hasselhof. And then Pamela Anderson walked out of the hotel.” “Larry knew a cool hat would be his only chance at ever getting a date in this town.”

  5. The sad part is, as soon as I saw the pic, I think I actually had a flashback to Gary Coleman’s guest spot on “Buck Rogers”. Maybe it’s the Glen Larson factor. Then again, I’m enough of a geek that when I saw Patricia McPherson in TNG’s “Angel One” I went “Yay! It’s Bonnie from ‘Kight Rider!’” ’cause ya know, Bonnie rocked, but April was just all about hair and the wet look lipstick and there was just *no* chemistry.
    Wow. I was so born in the early 1970s wow.

  6. Wow, Mr. Zack over at SA seems to have some anger management issues. He was a bit harsh on ya there, Uncle Willie.
    Sore loser, I guess.

  7. Wow, Mr. Zack over at SA seems to have some anger management issues. He was a bit harsh on ya there, Uncle Willie.
    Sore loser, I guess.

  8. That knight rider picture is the best, I remember when I was at school many years ago, a rapper came out with a rap and the under tune was the kightrider theme tune, we took that tune, recored via a dictaphone out head of sixth forms pet sayings, then someone sliced and siced it so it was our head of year rapping over the knightrider theme tune. We got into a lot of trouble for that one especiallt since we played it at full volume on the last day of school for the whole school to hear it. Neither the head of sixth form nor the head teacher were much impressed!
    We thought it was very funny and so did the rest of the pupils at my school.
    Knight Rider rules though, I wanted, and still do want, KITT as my car. The best car in the world, although the off shots of knightrider (ie team knightrider and knightrider 2000) sucked. I also was a big fan of the a team and airwolf. Any other fans of these programs here, is so let me know and we can chat about it. Have a walk down memory lane.
    Spike

  9. David Hasselhof is a scream! Having him in a picture with Gary Coleman and KITT is downright hilarous. I had my sister in law buy me a David. H. CD and send it to me (she’s German, they dig that H-man stuff there). Every once in a while, when I need a good smile, I put on my David CD and Groove to the White guy sounds of “Hot Shot City”.
    YAHOO!! School Days off! I have no school today either (‘cept I’m one of the teachers!) I love no school days! I don’t have to go tomorrow either. This week I only have to go on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday I have JURY DUTY. Time to do my civic duty.
    Take care,
    LK

  10. Aw come on Wil! Reading Rainbow Six? That sucked! The Golden Girls Gone Wild showed better photomanipulation skills than that POS.
    :shaking head:
    Charlie in Charge was a hoot though! hehe
    And Photoshop is only 600 bucks…but I doubt the contest was limited to JUST Photoshop. I’ve seen amazing stuff with Paint Shop Pro and even GIMP. Meh.

  11. I for one loved Reading Rainbow 6 so much that I saved on my desktop. The skills aren’t great it’s true, but I just love to concept. I saw it when it was first posted and even now it makes me smile. Also not to sound all prudish (I’m not really) but I liked that it was clean funny as opposed to nasty funny like many of the entries.
    On the other hand I thought the Euthanasia (sp?) Show was great black humour and good quality. Also I do realize that with a theme like that the first thing a lot of people think of is “What is the most offensive thing I can come up with”.
    Dr. Satan I also loved (and voted for) Temptation Ireland. I thought it was a simple and elegant concept which was wonderfully executed.
    * Disclaimer: I can’t Photoshop even to etch-a-sketch standards so this all from a non-technical perspective.*

  12. Quoting from third-party information (friend’s brother works at Adobe), Adobe gives their employees something ridiculous like 80% off on software because they figure it’s gonna be pirated anyways.
    Heh.
    Is this where we “prosumers” (graphic designers, etc.) pick up the slack? Is this why it’s so farkin’ expensive?

  13. Courtney…one would hope that Adobe employees would get the software for cheap, or hell, even for free anyway. I mean, they are employees. If you can’t reap the benefits of the company you work for, something is wrong.
    I think Adobe is really out of step with their pricing though…if they lowered the price to maybe 100 dollars, they would probably make tonnes more money because it would be cheap enough for even hobbiests to buy it. Same with every other programme that is super expensive. Why spend so much money on protecting from pirates when you can just lower the price into a range where people won’t have to pirate it?
    Which isn’t to say that some people won’t still pirate stuff, but I bet the amount would seriously decline if people knew they could afford stuff.

  14. Kakaze: I agree.
    Related to that why do you think things like Napster are so popular? Not simply because people are naturally “bad” but more likely because they are sick and tired of paying 20 bucks for over-marketed, over-hyped CDs with one or two good songs on them. They should either lower the prices or raise the quality instead of concentrating on making one song good enough to be the single.
    *Not that I’m ranting*
    Wow that is really unlike me. This place is certainly having an affect.
    Oh and Wil don’t let the morons get you down. I’m sure that most people at SA and Fark know it was all in fun. Angry people tend to post the most. (This site being a very pleasant exception) That does not mean it is an accurate representation of the general opinion.

  15. Wil,
    Your kids are lucky. You may be annoying but they are lucky. My dad isn’t around anymore and it’s nice to know there are men like you who aren’t afraid like my dad was of responsibility and the junk that comes with having kids. Sometime’s I wish my dad was still around. Growing up without one is hell and I hope to God no one ever has to go through what I have been through. OKAY DEPRESSING MOMENT! LOL! Sorry.

  16. Who the hell wants to hear a joke? Ok then here it is:
    Two people walk into a bar and order a martini. One guy goes to the bathroom while the other waits for him.
    Thank you! Thank you very much! WOO HOO HOO!!! You’ll laugh later…. TRUST ME

  17. What thuh?
    Anyway, I felt so bad about Gary Coleman having to admit to Ron Jeremy that he was a virgin, that I stopped watching The Weakest Link. That, and that annoying little twerp they use for the daily iteration thereof.

  18. Ok, stupid question, but why don’t the kids have school today? Tomorrow is Lincoln’s b-day and next monday is Pres’ Day. Unless it’s one of those “Teacher’s Inservice” that we all looked forward to.
    And, I can’t seem to get SA to load – it’s taking FOREVER. Is it sposed to do that, or is there a technical difficulty?
    Thanks!

  19. Ok, stupid question, but why don’t the kids have school today? Tomorrow is Lincoln’s b-day and next monday is Pres’ Day. Unless it’s one of those “Teacher’s Inservice” that we all looked forward to.
    And, I can’t seem to get SA to load – it’s taking FOREVER. Is it sposed to do that, or is there a technical difficulty?
    Thanks!

  20. That picture just gave me an horrendous 80′s flashback, and I am hoping this isn’t true, but I believe that Mr Hasselhof was the official singer at the Berlin Wall when they had a tearing down, East joins West celebration. He had a jacket on which was covered in flashing lights! He was working the crowd! Or do I just have a really twisted imagination?
    The best thing about Knight Rider was that noise the car made..

  21. I printed out that picture of Knight Rider and the little twerp himself, and put it over my monitor. Its hilarious, and I’m filled with some sort of perverted joy every time i look at it.

  22. Ok. There’s a fantastically funny thing over on Fark today, saying how everybody should vote for Uncle Willy to play all the parts in Atlas Shrugged.
    I can just see it. “A is A! A is A!” He’d put the Ojectivist smack down!
    I’m sorry. I’m far too easily amused.

  23. Damn, I wish I woodda had time to enter that contest, you win free beer right?
    Those were some funny ass pictures.
    I can’t seem to get some of these links to work though dagbabbit!

  24. Noworriesmom~
    I don’t know about Wil’s kids, but my school is out because of a deal they call “Quality Loop”. It’s a new thing in my district where once or twice a quarter, they have one week of school devoted to a particular subject. The students have to be “invited” to attend (which means they are lacking the particular skill being taught). So they’ll have reading week, or math week, or whatever. Since I’m not a classroom teacher (I’m a Speech Pathologist) I don’t have to go to school. I know that next week, another nearby district is having a teacher inservice day. :)
    LK

  25. That picture is the BOMB!!!
    I see good ol’ Gary Coleman from time to time here on the streets of West LA… I don’t mean any disrespect, but that boy has a chip on his shoulder that’s bigger than he is…
    Of course, I’m sure that not ALL former child are plagued by this syndrome, right?…heh.

  26. I’m new too all of this, i just found Wil’s site last night. Both sites are cool. Totally cracked out, but cool. to me the competition sounds cheezy.

  27. I am so amused by your comments on the pictures, and by the comments on your comments. That was very enjoyable. Can I be your friend? I have boobies. So does my husband, although we prefer to call those man-titties.
    I once had an autographed picture of David H with Kitt. Seems I lost it, what a shame, that thing could have been worth something, like rolling up to snort… oh, nevermind, I don’t do that.
    You should let me know next time you come to Vegas, I know of the BEST cheesy lounge… picture fake cheery trees in bloom and miniature carafes of peanuts at every dimly lit table. Nice.

  28. I’m personally surprised at a few of the “classic remakes” that weren’t suggested….
    “Knight Rider” featuring David Hasselhoff and [insert 30 porn stars here] would have been a given, if I had any photoshop abilities.
    Maybe I’ll have to suggest it to Spudnuts or Roughy next time.
    Maybe they can work cheese into it.
    Or doughnuts.
    Definitely hookers.

  29. Kakaze, I hear you, but not all companies give their employees things for free. Especially the expensive stuff. So go fig.
    Anyways, I had the same thought that if it was less expensive, people would be more likely to fork the cash over for it. Or even do the shareware thing, and have a “lite” version (in PS’s case, it would be TOTALLY lite) and pay a more expensive price for different levels of features? Waitamin. What about Photoshop LE?

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