Lost: 1 Funny. Please Return if Found

Well, I’ve started and erased 3 different entries this morning, so this is the last try to not be grouchy and lame.
The thing is, I’m just having a really shitty day. I presented material at ACME last night, and it SUCKED. I just haven’t been able to find my funny for months, and tangible reminders of that, like absoultely BOMBING on stage last night, really sting.
It’s okay, though. It will pass. It has to pass.
Right?
Well, that’s what I keep telling myself anyway.
It’s been so hard for me to be funny recently…I won’t go into it, but my life has been under siege for the last 2 years, and it’s just getting worse and worse, with no sign of improvement.
Between that and this “hyper-nostalgia” that I spoke of over the weekend, I just can’t be funny.
It also doesn’t help that I keep seeing the phrase “Has been” and “washed up” immediately preceeding my name all over the place.
Boy, it’s a great fucking feeling to know that people are calling me washed up at 29.
Oh, and I hear that they’ve cut me out of the Star Trek movie. Perfect.
Incidentally, I’m totally not fishing for encouragement. I’m just saying…well…it hurts. It shouldn’t, but it does. That’s all.
Hm. Failed at the “Try to not be grouchy and lame” thing.
Damn.

238 thoughts on “Lost: 1 Funny. Please Return if Found”

  1. Hold up.
    I think that’s MY retainer.
    It is kinda funny.
    It smells funny.
    It tastes funny.
    When I put it in my mouth I LOOK funny.
    Wil – have you ever thought about pioneering a new school of retainer-based funny?
    You don’t have to limit it to putting it in your mouth.
    You could put in anywhere.
    On top of your head.
    Funny.
    In your ear.
    Funny.
    Up your nose.
    REAL Funny.
    It’s all about context and juxtaposition, ain’t it?
    Now excuse me, I gotta go wash my retainer. It’s got all nose-juicy.
    Still tastes funny, too.

  2. times like these call for rememberance…consider the lives you have touched…if all of us here at will dot net were writing the papers, you would read some very different things about your fine self…we are all here for a reason, “united in fandom” if you will…and we’d all be out there laughing our guts out at your material if it were us in the audience…
    i, for one, can’t get through my day without a morning message from you…i’m comically distraught on those days you don’t post…and when you do, the grind of workaday life is made a little easier…
    good luck to you in your quest to find your “funny” but, meanwhile, remember that you’ll always have your “loved”…
    hugs,
    doc

  3. Hi Wil!
    I think you have an early midlife crisis! That’s the only explanation. But it’s illogical (

  4. I remember when I lost my funny. It was my last year of High School.
    I was always the “class clown” as it were and I did a bit of MC’ing of events and a bit of comedic acting/improv etc.
    But in my last year I lost it completely and to this day I don’t know where it went.
    This probably won’t make you feel any better: your funny will come back…but it will never be as strong as it was when you lost it.
    Sorry.
    -Danny

  5. Have no fear Uncle Willie. Even though today was a not so great day for you, by sharing your thoughts with us. Your words of wisdom made me smile and I appreciate that. You are not washed up. You are awesome! Don’t forget that. :)

  6. Wil:
    I’m still just a child of 16 & have never been through the “crisis” u r going thru now. HOwever, do u c these comments, these words of incouragement and love from people u don’t even know? Hell, i call that success. Things get better. THis entire year has been pretty shitty, but i’ve grown alot(haha- i know, sappy). THings look up. A has-been @ 29? i say not. For god sakes, ur GORDO! You’re the lead actor in my favorite movie of all time, the movie that has inspired me to be a director. I’m graduating high school early & going to NYU. I’m majoring in film arts & cinematography. so~ thanks WIl. It’s b/c of u, man. thanks.
    SAn
    (SAndra):)

  7. Dude, you are NOT washed up! Nor are you grouchy and/or lame. Seriously. The Posse think you are the cat’s pyjamas (where that saying came from or what it means I’ll never know). But suffice to say, I really enjoy this community we have built up here, you read these comments, don’t you? Then you know how we all feel about you. Forget the rubbish – focus on the Posse. The Posse is wise, the Posse is good.
    Tee

  8. They might cut you out of the movie!!??!!??!!?? Why the f*** would they do that???!!!!! You’re the only reason why I actually want to see that movie (along with the Riker/Troi wedding) But like seriously…. those 2 reasons the only reasons why I want to see Star Trek X. If you’re cut out, I’ll have to wait ’till it comes out to be rented ’cause I’m not spending $10 that doesn’t even have my favorite character in it!!!!

  9. still up at startrek.com
    “Star Trek: Nemesis” features all of the aforementioned TNG regulars, along with Gates McFadden (“Beverly Crusher”) and Marina Sirtis (“Deanna Troi”). The film also features some special cameos from some familiar faces such as Whoopi Goldberg (“Guinan”), Kate Mulgrew (“Kathryn Janeway”) and Wil Wheaton (“Wesley Crusher”) plus some new villains played by Tom Hardy and Ron Perlman.

  10. Hang in there, man. Remember that you’ve accomplished more than most people ever will. Age is meaningless in that respect. Count your blessings. You have, by your own accounts, a great wife and kids. Life is always fundamentally good, depsite our protestations to the contrary.
    Best,
    Greg

  11. dear mr.wheaton:
    your acting & artistic accomplishments
    say alot to those who would see. why not
    start up a petition to keep your cameo
    spot, if it turns out they did mess up?
    other artists have become even deeper
    & greater due to the lessons of life.
    don’t let too much crass commercialism
    & corporate greed destroy your dreams
    & your own unique gifts! and despite it
    all, i’m still atrek fan & think you
    really added to the series despite
    what others may say…!
    peace,
    the talaxian trader’s corner staff/cowebmaster

  12. oh no will!
    you have more flair for the eccentric than any other person that comes to mind. you are far more unique than anyone who is in the business. even your melencholy is more interesting and engaging than any silly thoughts of ‘up and coming stars’. without unique people like you the world would be boring. with or without your ‘funny’.

  13. Hey Wil,
    You’re not washed up and old! I’m not much younger and my life’s just starting. Yours is, too. I think you’re great. Take care, enjoy the good things.

  14. Wil
    Heard you were missing your funny so I made one for you out of macaroni, paper clips and silly string. It’s in the mail, hope you like it.
    I also put an all-points voodoo curse on whoever made the decision to cut you out of Wheaton-less or Nemesis or whatever it’s called. Just a small one, mind. Their balls should return to normal, at least I think they will. They were kinda hard to find to begin with……

  15. Wil,
    My husband and I totally are pulling for you. Seize the day! Your too respected of a guy to fail. Your too cool of a guy to not get anything.
    Hey do some theatre work. that seems to really put some major pluses in an actors career folder. Go to Stratford Ontario and do some Shakespeare. Patrick Stewart is loved for his stage work. You can ask him about it. It would definately be a cool thing to see you do. It helped Matthew Brodrick and others.

  16. Yeah. Tough break, Wil. Guess it’s time to pack it in. Maybe you should take up rhinoplasty. Were you ever really funny?

  17. HI Wil!!:)
    It’s bad that they’ve cut you from the movie! I really can’t understand that!!!!!! ..as Iheard here in Hungary there are a lot of Wes haters, but I’m not!!! Maybe we (your fans) can write to that “dear” Paramount to not cut out you!!:)))
    What do you think?
    ..oh and I don’t feel myself so happy too, I was doing my thesis and I spent my all day at the computer!!!! I think you just need a week away from the city in a nice forest or just a walk in a day!! HAVE A NICE DAY!! Just read this every morning! By : Agi

  18. Hey wil. At 32 i’ve just gotten into my first band. I started playing an instrument when i was 26. There is no washed up. There is “not being able to find your groove until you’re way, way older”, but no washed up. Best of luck in all your endeavors, man. The creative crazies have to stick together.

  19. Dude, if they cut you out of the movie, they’ll lose quite a bit of money because of all the Wheaton fans boycotting it… hell, given that I slept though the last one, I wouldn’t go unless you were in it.

  20. Wil, you are a man after my own heart. Sometimes the funniest thing about life is the pain we go through. If you’re a washed-up has been at 29, you’ve got one hell of a lot of time to recover your mojo. Think of WFS. He’s 71 and been a washed-up has been several times. Now, we can hardly go to the movies without seeing a trailer with him in it! By the way, since I found out that he treated you like shit, I think the two of you might actually make a pretty odd comedy team. I could imagine you calling him ‘gramps’ or something and getting a pretty good laugh….

  21. Wil,
    I believe that a person of character and determination will always succeed. From what I can tell, you have both.
    Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it’s not supposed to hurt. Pain is a neccesary ‘evil’. Embrace your pain and emotion, and do your best to learn and grow through the experience.
    I’ll be praying for you.

  22. Wil,
    I haven’t read everything that everyone else has posted here, but the first thing that crossed my mind when I read your post was to wonder whether your frustration itself could be channeled into a comedy routine. It’s been said that nobody ever went into stand-up comedy because they had a good childhood. Seems to me that a huge portion of comedy is born of tragedy. I’m not an entertainer by profession, but I’m a guy who’s always trying to be the witty one. I think comedy is best when it is derived from our strongest feelings. When you wrote this post, your strongest feelings were apparently despair and frustration. I’d suggest trying to find your funny in there somewhere.
    But that’s just this rookie’s opinion.
    Good luck, and we love you!

  23. Wil,
    I haven’t read everything that everyone else has posted here, but the first thing that crossed my mind when I read your post was to wonder whether your frustration itself could be channeled into a comedy routine. It’s been said that nobody ever went into stand-up comedy because they had a good childhood. Seems to me that a huge portion of comedy is born of tragedy. I’m not an entertainer by profession, but I’m a guy who’s always trying to be the witty one. I think comedy is best when it is derived from our strongest feelings. When you wrote this post, your strongest feelings were apparently despair and frustration. I’d suggest trying to find your funny in there somewhere.
    But that’s just this rookie’s opinion.
    Good luck, and we love you!

  24. Your jokes are half-baked. Your irony is shallow. Dive in to the deep end, or you will remain mired in chronic mediocrity and depression.
    You are teetering between Kevin Bacon and Mason Reese. Choose the right path (you are not on it yet).

  25. Wil, you whip ass.
    You’ve always whiped ass.
    Current media and pop culture are nothing but vultures attemting to bite you in the sac.
    Flip them the bird and hold your head up high.
    You, my friend, are the man.

  26. Hi Will,
    Regarding your lost funny…you never lost it. You just thought you did. I’m no Yoda man, but it’s like this – you’ve either got it or you ain’t.
    Since you think you’ve lost it, you’ve got it.
    I’m a Tech Writer in London, and also have moments like these. Me – I meditate for 15 minutes and use positive affirmations.
    I’m not Qui Gon Jinn either – look, you’ve got the talent, don’t bruise it with negative thoughts. It was ST: TNG and the Wesley character that really motivated me to push myself and become a Computer Scientist. Thanks.
    Tell u what – forget about your funny for a short while – occupy yourself with things u like to do – hobbies. It’ll show itself in no time. Just remember, it’s still there, just a bit clouded with excess thoughts.
    By the way – the Batman soundtrack’s cool – try the ‘More Music from the Movie – Gladiator’ – inspiring stuff.
    Peace.
    Peter

  27. Hi Mr. Wil Wheaton,
    I read your site at least every week or every other week and I’d like to thank you for thoroughly entertaining me. When I was in college, I was one of the “OH NO ANOTHER WESLEY EPISODE” people, but in retrospect I was probably just jealous that I wasn’t a cool guy picked to be in a hot SciFi show.
    I have to hand it to you, man. You’ve got a lot going for you. I can’t believe how grounded you come across – how thoughtful you are and how very conscientious you are about your own actions in this weird and crazy world. As one who lives in the Hollywood area, that’s indeed a rarity to find – especially for such a recognizable and talented person. And I’ve never once heard of you covertly sneaking into the Celebrity Center. (Centre?)
    Hang in there, Wil. You’re really building something up for yourself. You’re staying active and creative in the world without forsaking the people that are most important in your life. From where I sit, you’ve got it all together and sometimes it just takes the less-enlightened folks some time to recognize it.
    Take care,
    Mark
    P.S. Even though I grew up in Des Moines, IA – a world away from you – I too had the _Batman_ score and _Black Celebration_ in heavy rotation in my car (as well as the New Order greatest hits _Substance_). Music is magical for inducing nostalgia. Go with it and let yourself feel, but don’t forget to keep yourself in check by consciously observing just how much you’ve grown as a person since the first time you listened to those tunes.

  28. i won’t repeat what others have already said (hey, didn’t someone already say that… hackhackhack). i send you mojo. the posse has rallied. we care.
    be cool, wil. all will be good.
    go have a nice time with The Guys(TM), we will mind the site while you are gone.
    anybody fancy a keg?

  29. Wow, those last few posts have made me shed a few tears – me, a stiff-upper-lip English chap! (and not even Stand By Me did that, so I reckon your writing is pretty impressive) All my work is to do with pushing words around, one way or another: I had a major crisis a while back, but it has meant I’m able to go back to working with a fresh view of things, and I find it all at least a bit easier.
    And besides, I remember you posting a picture of you as a Complete Dork ages back – would you really like to look like that again?

  30. Hi Wil!!!
    It’s me again :D!!Isn’t great that you got so many letters?? ..and I think You didn’t lost your funny (..funnys don’t lost just turn into somethig else..he-he, but they are still funny ;)). Here in the library, where I always reading this really cool site evreyone is watching me becouse I laugh a lot while I reading!!..and I still laugh :)))))))))))))))!!!!!!!4
    HAVE A NICE DAY!! best wishes: Agi

  31. hey wil, everyone has people who hurt them, but on the other hand there are so many that choose to love and support…i enjoy the person that you are and by the look of your web site..i’m not alone…God bless you and take care.

  32. Ick. Bummer. I know the feeling. I’ve been feeling washed up for years. And I never really did anything to even be a has been. You make people laugh. That’s a very important thing. That can really help someone. I find that you can make someones day by just smiling at them.
    The last 2 years? eek. I’m curious now. But it’s none of my business..
    There are times when life kicks you where it counts. Its how we deal with these things that define our character. You’re venting. That’s a good thing. Bottling it up is bad.
    Cut from the star trek movie? No fucking way! Someone better just be yanking your chain on that. If they are trying to cut your scenes I will petition! I think we should all petition to not have you cut from the movie. Cuz dammit, I’ve been waiting to see you in a Star Trek movie for YEARS! ARG. That would totally piss me off. And it’s not fair to you. Or to your fans. It makes me want to kick someone in the nuts! (Not you. So don’t be afraid).
    Maybe you’re just thinking you’re not funny bc you’re depressed? Your site makes me laugh. I think you’re hilarious. I think alot of people forget that you are a real person so they say things about you that hurt your feelings, not realizing that you have feelings to be hurt. Its sad.
    Anyways, you got my support. Probably doesn’t mean much, but its all I can offer.
    luv,
    -Su

  33. never wrote here before, but there are some things i wanted to say.
    wes crusher and orson scott card’s ender wiggin were an inspiration to all us kids who were in advanced classes in school. we were nerds too, and everyone hated us because we were smarter than them… kinda like everyone hates wes crusher. no one likes smart kids, and they’ve taken that out on your character.
    anyway, your character and ender wiggin helped me get through school, knowing that fictional characters are inspirations for graduation should help you some. don’t listen to the critics, ’cause they are the other kids from elementary school who got scared when we blew up parts of the playground.

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