True Dreams of Wichita

Boy, I should really be in bed now, but I can’t sleep.
I think I’m getting sick, and my throat is just killing me. My sinuses are all dried out, and I keep coughing. I think all that smoke and recycled air in Vega$ got to me.
Anyway, so I’m in bed, just starting to doze off, which is a good thing because I have to be up early tomorrow, because we’re filming 2 episodes of my show, and I’m pretty sure the Big Men In Suits are coming to watch us…but as I’m dozing off, I get this idea for a sketch to present at ACME tomorrow night, so I hop out of bed to write it.
When I sit down here, I see that I have email waiting for me, that they’re talking about me at Mike Doughty’s BBS. Now, Mike Doughty was the man behind one of my favorite bands of all time, Soul Coughing.
Apparently, they were pokin’ fun at that stupid picture of me that Robert posted at RetroCrush a couple of weeks ago…
So I read through it, and posted:

“So anyway, Mike (can I call you Mike?), here’s some fanboy ramblings from the artist formerly known at TVs Wil Wheaton: Your band was and currently is one of my all-time favorites, and I was listening to Ruby Vroom this morning. You were a real inspiration to me (along with Burroughs and Rollins) when I was younger and wanting to be a writer.
Okay, that’s the end of my fanboy lameness.
Here’s my stickin-up-for-myself lameness:
We all looked like tools in the 80s. Anyone who denies that is either too young, or too delusional to remember. Unfortunately, I have the joy of my 80s lameness being forever preserved in magazine form for all eternity. And for the record, “Party Naked” was the pathetic plea from a confused and awkward 14 or 15 year-old for female attention. Pink Floyd was one of the few bands I had heard in 1987 who had anything meaningful to say (Listen to Animals, and you’ll get my drift).
In times like these, when I feel mortified at this photographic record, I thank the gods that I never wore anything like Corey Feldman.
Well, at least I was never photographed in my fedora.”

God, don’t I sound like a stupid fanboy, there?
Anyway, if you haven’t heard Soul Coughing, you really owe it to yourself to check out Ruby Vroom and El Oso, at least.
So when it’s 5AM and you are listening to Los Angeles, you can know if the Radio Man is laughing at you, or with you.

77 thoughts on “True Dreams of Wichita”

  1. workin on my site
    i like yours
    my sister said you were gay
    i came to the web to prove her wrong
    your not gay
    this is good
    i am right
    you seem like a decent guy
    good luck with your endeavors

  2. That was the strangest, most incoherant rambling Wil has ever posted. Anyone think he’s picked up a cocaine habit? Oh wait, coke costs lots of money. No way Wil could afford it.

  3. I find this interesting because I myself was in Vegas this weekend. I wish I had been that girl who had run up to you to say you were cute wil!! There was an abundance of people there including, you know it, the greatest band in the world, TENACIOUS D!

  4. OK, Wil left out a Soul Coughing album – Irresistible Bliss. It may have been an artistic snub, since it’s not their best album, but no collection is complete without that one.
    Speaking of “Bus to Beelzebub” — go hunt down Raymond Scott tunes (there’s lots on AudioGalaxy, or via your favorite copyright-infringing-software). He was the guy who wrote the jazzy music from old WB toons that was sampled for “Bus to Beelzebub” and “Disseminated”. The rest of his stuff ranges from ‘insanely-cool’ to ‘fucked-up-as-hell’. If you like Soul Coughing, you’ll definitely appreciate Mr. Scott’s work.
    Enough of my ramblings, go listen to some music.

  5. Hey Wil — I’m sorry that insensitive comments from a person (or group of people) that you admire, are making you feel lousy. It’s gotta sting a little, no matter how much you try to shrug it off. Rest assured that many of us who look at that picture: 1) can empathize and relate with style horrors of their own (as many have been doing…for me it was neon colours. DEAR GOD, THE NEON!) or 2) chuckle affectionately and forgive the fashion faux-pas.
    Don’t sweat it, buddy. It’s all good. :)
    (Even though he earns bonus points for being a Goonie, let’s dismiss Corey Feldman for a second and focus on my adolescent adoration of COREY HAIM! Oh goodness, he was so hip. ;))

  6. Gotta say, Corey’s breasts have certainly blossomed since I last saw him.
    He looks… almost… HOT!
    I guess that’s the best he could really hope for.
    Needs to work on his ‘ceps, though.
    Wonder if there’s some weird Stand By Me gender morphing dysfunction going on there.
    Might explain why I haven’t seen wil in a tank top for a while.
    No more partying naked, wil? Afraid you’ll show your attractive man-breasts?
    I’m just jokin’, of course.
    But if you’re in the market for a mansiere, I know a guy who can hook you up.
    Know a shit-hot manties dealer, too.
    Just let me know.
    Mi casa su casa, capeesh?
    yeah, you capeesh.

  7. Everyone has there moments of “Man I’m a big fan!” And yes you dressed very cool in te 80’s- I did too but being the wanns be photrgapher I was always behind the camera so few photos egsist of me – And damn I looked good too.

  8. let’s see, when did i first hear about soul coughing…
    sad to say not from wil wheaton.
    ok, i know.
    cartoon network did a fred flinstone music video using “circles”.
    so don’t let me hear you saying watching cartoons is a total waste of time kids!

  9. i apologize if someone has already suggested this, but soul coughing just came out with a “best of” album which has all great songs from all of the albums plus the propellerheads super bon bon remix that everyone wants also. so i would suggest that as an awesome album to get for people who don’t have any of their albums yet. here’s the link:
    i’m not sure how to make profit from that amazon link but if you do know, you should change it so that it does.
    plus it’s rhino records which, granted, is a subsidiary of aol time warner, but it’s still a great label that sent this record to me as a promo for my radio station.

  10. hey Wil,
    I noticed you didnt make an entry today. You mentioned you were feeling sick yesterday, I hope thats not the reason!!!! Anwyayz, no pressure, I’m just wondering!
    If it is because you’re sick, don’t stress yourself and hope you feel better!

  11. Don’t worry, man. The 80’s sucked for each and every one of us. Really, the only good thing that ever came out of the 80’s was the 90’s, and that was only by default anyway…

  12. Don’t worry, man. The 80’s sucked for each and every one of us. Really, the only good thing that ever came out of the 80’s was the 90’s, and that was only by default anyway…

  13. Don’t worry, man. The 80’s sucked for each and every one of us. Really, the only good thing that ever came out of the 80’s was the 90’s, and that was only by default anyway…

  14. WEIRD…I have not heard of Soul Coughing since they played with Jeff Buckley back in ’95…I think maybe they opened for him? Are you a fan of Jeff Buckley’s Wil? If not, you should be! Buy his Grace album and Check him out at online

  15. Hi everyone!
    This is my first post, even though I check out the website a lot, I’m usually too lazy, but I just had to say, Wil, you totally unintentionally did something totally awesome! My mom was listening to the radio a while back and asked me if I’d ever heard this song, something about it being 5am in Los Angeles, because she liked the song, but I had no idea what she was talking about and we couldn’t find anything online, and now I know! I’ll have to check out the band’s music now, and tell her.
    What was that you said about sounding like a stupid fan? I’ll stop rambling now. Take some Vitamin C, and feel better!

  16. Would you believe I was turned on to Soul Coughing by watching The Cartoon Network? They have 2 SC songs that they use as a back drop for a couple of cartoon shorts. “Circles” is my favorite and it has inspired me to pick up the album (yes, I am that old) El Oso.

  17. Mad props to Wil for being a Soul Coughing fan! And three cheers for anyone who admits to liking ‘Sugar Free Jazz’.

  18. Come on, Wil, don’t be hatin’ the silly pants. We ALL drew on our pants back then. Or I did anyway. Big huge letters saying, “The Beatles” and pot leaves and rainbows and peace signs. Yeah, I was a hippy child, and it was really UNCOOL. At least until it all came back in fashion, and I grew too big for the fuckers by that time. (Stupid ass going curvy! Stupid girl parts!) What I would be worried about is the watches on your ankles. Dude – what was up with that? How many time pieces does one need to WEAR? It’s all good, you were just a kiddlin’ then. Don’t sweat it, I mean really. At least you had recent and reasonably cool clothes back then. All I could afford were hand-me-downs.

  19. Okay, I’m going to say something useless to a heterosexual male under the age of 50: Stop whining Wil, you looked utterly adorable in that pic. :-) Then again, I do have somewhat jailbait tastes, but be that as it may, you still looked cute as hell.

Comments are closed.