Schism

“Individually we can get angry. Together we can, and will, make a diference.”
I wrote those words recently, hoping to rally and inspire people to action.
I was talking about the rapid erosion of our free speech and parody rights on the internet, but that phrase applies to any movement, really.
One voice is easily ignored or silenced, but when other people add their voices to yours, you become a chorus not easily ignored.
It turns out that a lot of people got angry that I wouldn’t be attending the 15th anniversary of TNG celebration next month. It turns out that those voices joined together in emails, phone calls, internet postings and FAXes. It turns out that those voices became a chorus not easily ignored.
Thursday afternoon, I had a message on my machine from Adam Malin, president of Creation. He told me that he’d been “flooded” with emails, phone calls and FAXes. He said he’d read the internet postings, and he wanted to talk with me. He told me that he felt terrible, sick, and was very upset that I felt the way that I did. He was apologetic, and hoped I’d call him back so we could speak directly and if nothing else, clear the air.
When I set the phone down in it’s cradle, I was surprised to feel my hands shaking.
I was, quite honestly, stunned. Shocked. A phone call from a lawyer I would have expected. An angry phone call, maybe, given the rage people were expressing on message boards at my own site and elsewhere. But a personal, cordial, apologetic call? I just didn’t think it would happen.
I didn’t have a chance to call him back until yesterday, during my lunch hour at work. See, we’ve been busting our asses at Arena to pull together this HALO National Championship event, and yesterday was the culmination of weeks of 12 hour days, of hundreds if not thousands of individual hours of work.
So lunch comes, and I phoned him.
I apologized for not calling him back right away. I explain to him that we’re working on this special, and it’s maxed out my internal CPU.
Before I can say anything, he apologizes again for not talking to me directly, and letting his underlings deal with me instead.
He tells me that he has never thought of me as “not part of the family.”
I tell him that I have been given the impression from everyone at Creation, even the people with whom I am friends, that there are “levels,” and it (rightly) goes: Captains, Data, everyone else…then there was me.
I tell him that I’ve felt marginalized, and treated like my contributions to Trek weren’t important to him, Creation, the fans, or Paramount.
He apologizes again, tells me again that he doesn’t feel that way. Tells me that he wanted to make it right. He wants to have me at that convention.
I am stricken by how genuine he seems. I am beginning to feel badly for not going over the heads of his employees and speaking directly to him, myself.
I also notice something that is a new feeling to me, as far as Star Trek goes: I’m being treated like an adult. Treated with respect, spoken to fotrhrightly and candidly.
This may seem like an overstatement of the glaringly obvious, but even though I am thirty years old, I still feel like I’m “the kid” where Trek is concerned. Not feeling that way is something new to me, and I’m not sure how to deal with it.
Adam tells me that he has heard great things about my sketch group. He’s heard that they are fabulous, and the fans really love the show we do. He tells me that he wants to hire them for the show, wants me to speak at the show, and he really wants to make it work out.
I tell him that there wasn’t time to get the group together now, and produce a quality show. He is really upset about that. He asks me if I’d be willing to get my group together for Grand Slam 2003.
I notice that we’re having a cordial, comfortable conversation. It’s like we’ve both been stung. Me by the posture taken during the previous negotiation, and him by the vitriolic rebuke from the fans. He seems to genuinely feel badly that my feelings were so hurt, and I get the palpable impression that he wants to make things right.
He asked me again if I’d be willing to do the show for a very reasonable fee, just a little bit below what I was asking for before negotiations broke down last month.
I am immdediately torn.
I think about this thing that someone said in the comments yesterday: “If you turn your back on Trek one more time, I’m buying you a revolving door.”
I think hard about that. It burns inside me.
I dont know what to do.
On the one hand, I want Trek behind me.
On the other hand, it will never be behind me no matter what, because, let’s face it: Trek was and is HUGE. Bigger than me. Bigger than I will ever be in my (stalled and slowing) acting career.
After I’d gotten the first phone call from Adam, I talked it over with Travis (from Arena) who is a very good friend of mine. Knows me very, very well.
Told him I’m having mixed feelings about it. I can think of reasons to do the show, and reasons to not do the show.
He asked me why I didn’t want to do it.
I gave him some reasons, pro and con.
He asked me if I was happy writing.
I told him I was.
He asked me if I liked being on stage.
I told him that I did.
He asked me why I could possibly not want to be onstage in front of people who want to like me, and read my work to the same. He reminded me of the sketch shows we’ve done together at conventions, and how we have always felt great afterwards.
He asks me again why I can’t embrace Star Trek as something wonderful that I was part of, and at the same time continue to move forward as an actor and writer.
I couldn’t answer him.
Pride? Fear?
I don’t fucking know.
The people on the ‘net have rallied around me about this. The fans have raged at Creation, and Creation listened.
But there’s that revolving door. I’m stuck in it, big time.
I think of this email I got where a guy said he felt like I was trying to convince myself that it is okay to be booted from Star Trek things. He’s right.
I think of a comment where a guy criticizes me for being so angst-ridden about Star Trek, accuses me of being full of shit, says he can see right through me.
He has a point too. I meant what I said about being cut from the film. But having the safety bubble burst? Well, I’m still standing in it’s remains, hoping I can find a way to refill it, just in case. Setting Wesley free, embracing a sense of freedom? I meant that, as well.
I feel like I have grown older, and changed. But I feel unfulfilled, unsure, and I know that the last few months of entries here have focused on that. Maybe I’m giving way too much weight to the comment of one random person who didn’t even have the courage to put an email address with the anonymous comment. For all I know I could be biting on the biggest troll ever.
But there is truth to what that anonymous poster said. I’m torn. I am caught in a revolving door, and I don’t know what will happen, and I am filled with angst, and that feeling is burning inside of me, keeping me awake at night, distracting me every minute of every day. It’s burning in me so fiercely, so hot and insistent, that I have lost perspective. I can’t make objective decisions and weigh the pros and cons effectively.
So I seek counsel from some very good friends of mine. Some people who I really trust and respect. I write to them what I’ve written above, with the following pros and cons:
Pros:

  • Fans will be ecstatic that Creation listened, that they fought for me and won.
  • Fans will be happy to see me in person.
  • I’ll earn money for my family and be able to perform what I love to do for an audience who *FINALLY* wants to like me.

Cons:

  • That revolving door feeling, and the fear of a massive backlash from…well, I’m not sure who, but backlash nevertheless.

It seems pretty slam-dunk, right? I should do the show and feel great about it. But it’s not that easy for me. I am extremely conflicted, until I get the following responses:
“This could not be easier, but that’s really because I’m not you.
You don’t have a choice, man. When you just had a few little tiny hairs, something in you nailed that part of the “kid that was to be forever hated”(tm).
I honestly believe that you were hated because everyone wanted to be like you and because you were a fucking kid in an adult world and there was a new crowd suddenly attracted–nevermind that we’ve got the black guy with the hairclip on his eyes and a Klingon on the ship…not to mention that fucking hot Martina bitch.
No, you were the biggest oddball, and you didn’t have a clue what was happening to you, no matter how fucking smart you were–and Wil, you’re no dumb guy.
Hell, you know I know that you’re a million times harder on yourself than anyone else could be in a single day.
You’ve managed to take all the asshole things you did when you were younger and attempt to make right on them.
Again, if you’re at all like me, you probably get irate if you catch yourself littering because of the Karma Train that’ll come back to hit you if you cause some old guy somewhere some extra effort to clean up your mess, even if it’s his job.
Damn, man. I know what you’re doing…I do it, too.
So, you think you’d be compromising or something if you went and changed your mind and went back to the show.
I don’t. You’re going to enjoy it. People like you.
You looked in the face of a thousand-million internetters and said, “Hey, I’m a fucking human like you, I’ve been a dick, it’s not right, this is what I did and this is what I think now. Sorry; won’t happen again.”
People like you, man. In fact, you’re probably not even capitalizing off of all the Internet Momentum(tm) you’ve gained in the past year. Shit, Wil, people all over the place NOW LIKE YOU. Let’s face it, you’ve only gotten limited access to those auditions, but how many magazines, newspapers, tv shows, etc. have you been on because you’re a fucking computer geek-boy now?
You want my point-blank, in-your-fucking-face opinion right now?
Too bad, I’m giving it to you anyway.
For starters, go there.
Go there in a big fucking “in your face, but I’m still just lil ol’ Wil” way. Have the fucking time of your life–do it FOR YOU for the fans, not for the fans. These people want to see you–and even if they say something negative, just laugh it off like water on a duck and say, “Cool, but you know, you really don’t know me” and know that you’ve won in that statement alone.
Then, Mr. Man, I think you need to start doing something to have the voices of these hundreds of thousands of souls who, together, are not only fucking bright when they’re not trolling, but who are also strong-minded and very likely to do something about making you an actor.
???
Yeah. You’ve got a fucking posse, man.
Truer words could not be said. Now, what does it fucking take to get all of these people together to say in a single voice, “We Want Wil” and have them get you back on screen?
I don’t have the answer there, but I guarantee you that I’m going to be the first person to try and figure it out…people want to see you. People are rooting for you all over the place and you don’t even know it because you’ve let yourself become accustomed to not being quite so famous.
But, dammit, man, you’re the movie-star guy that’s “just like me…holy shit!” and you’re an underdog. You’re the guy that people want to see get some momentum behind and get to the top–and then remember each and every one of them on the way up and once you get there, because, no one does that. Everyone forgets that one little geek that didn’t have to show up at the con and ask for your autograph…who made it there for you and saved money to go.
If you forget him, he’ll take you down as quickly as he put you up there, and you know that very well, my friend. They taught you that already.
You’re a blessed man. Don’t forget that. I’ll never be on a G4 network or on a game show, and that’s cool, but believe me, I’d want to do it in a heartbeat. You, on the other hand, can do it with your eyes closed–and that’s true. G4 is your stepping stone, in case you hadn’t noticed that just yet.
Let me wrap up with something that Michael Jordan once said: “Every night when I go out on the court, I think about that father and son out there who are seeing me play basketball–and that’s the only reason they’re here. This might just be their only chance. Sometimes, I even wish I could trade places with them because of the great feeling–the great moment this is for them. Every night when I go out on the court, I play my best…for them.”
So, get your black-ass out on the court. Hit the fucking circuits and get busy busy busy, man. No fucking infomercial is going to be your death, so get that fucking preconceived notion out of your head and put the rubber to the road.
Dunno; maybe you’ll be pissed at some of this, but the truth is, I don’t care about that. I care about the fact that you SEEM to be letting some of your potential wash-away from you, and you’re too good for that.
Look, I don’t know all that goes on, so that obviously makes me very uninformed, but if this is my opinion of you, then imagine what other people must feel if they’re your fans? You’ve become an icon all over again, believe it or not.”

Another friend said:
“I just talked to [his wife, who is very wise] about it, who had this to say:
First off, she thinks you should do it (for reasons I’ll get into in a second).
But the big thing (again, still her talking) is that you should do this for you.
Whatever you decide, right now, it’s gotta be for you, and not because X amount of people will judge you for doing it or not doing it.
If you feel it’s right for you, and will benefit your family, and your writing, and gain some recognition for you, AND you’ll get to see some old Trek buddies again, and that’s what you want, then you gotta do that thing.
But don’t do it if you now feel pressured by the fans to do it.
And don’t NOT do it because you’re afraid of what the fans will think.
Whatever you do, do it because you, you personally need to.
Okay, here’s where I start talking.
To put this in some perspective, I remember a time when Shatner wouldn’t do the con thing. There was a period between the cancellation of the series and the first movie where he wouldn’t even mention Star Trek in interviews (which was actually kind of surreal).
That said, he came back, did the movies and lives very well off of them and off of the additional fame from a new audience not as familiar with the series.
Because I think there comes a point where you have to acknowledge that This Thing You Did Back When is a part of you that’s always going to be there. It’s like Sue Olson (the actress who played Cindy Brady) once said–you have to accept that people will always think of you as that character, because only then can you really move on.
Once you accept that, the audience accepts you…and paradoxically, on your own terms.
See, this whole “Turn Your Back On Trek” thing, if you let thatget to you…how do I put this?
If you don’t do it because you have to Turn Your Back On Trek, well, then you’re not really turning your back on Trek–you’re still letting the Trek thing dictate what you do.
And, while we’re putting our cards on the table, here, I think that you shouldn’t look at not turning your back on Trek and finding your own voice as being mutually exclusive. As a former convention-goer, the Trek (or otherwise) speakers who I thought were the coolest were the ones who accepted that Trek was the reason they were there and why we were there, as opposed to the guys who seemed weirded out or perplexed that anyone gave a shit.
Not that you’d be that way–I’m talking about an initial attitude going in, not the handling of the experience from that point on.
As far as you feeling that you’re renegging on what you said in your post…and here’s some perspective:
The situation is different now.
It’s not that they called you, snubbed you, and you’re going back anyway to eat shit for the peanuts.
It’s that they contacted you, snubbed you initially, then realized they misjudged your appeal (and ability to bring in a LOT of new people) and finally were willing to meet you on terms you could accept.
I’m not gonna lie and say that some people won’t be assholes and call sour grapes on you for “singing a different tune.”
Expect it. I know you are.
You’ve been down this path before. We all know you have.
I mean, it’s great publicity for the website, and for Arena, and for you. You will have an ability to connect with the fans again–but this time it’ll be a little different, because you’re probably going to see more people you know you from the site–and Malin knows that.”

Mixed in with all of this, I got an email from a really nice woman who organized fans to share their outrage about this. Creation reverses themselves … PLEASE do go, otherwise IMO Creation will win, as they can say you turned THEM down after they met your (original) terms or soemthing like that. Then promote the hell out of the convention on your website. Perhaps if Creation and the others see how powerful you and your website is, they just MIGHT sit up and take notice, and I’m not just talking about conventions here, but perhaps it might help you in other ways (as yet unseen) as well.
I’m calling for a campaign here to do right by you … ’cause I think it stinks. NO one messes with the Wil Wheaton, or they’ll find that they have the ‘Possee’ as you call us, to contend with, and I suspect we are a much MORE powerful together, than Creation realizes.
I’m doing this for you, cause I think you are a neat guy … but also mostly because, remember, I’ve been a Trekkie longer than you’ve been around (before you were born), and this is now really got me STEAMED how on their High Horse that Creation has gotten of late.”

So. I think long and hard about these things, and still I feel heavily conflicted.
I revisit those pros and cons, and think to myself:
I’d love to have a chance to read some of my stuff for an audience who would really “get” it.
I’d love to go in front of fans who, for the first time EVER **LIKE** me.
But that revolving door is spinning, and I don’t know how I can face the people who said “Good for you! Leave Star Trek behind you forver!”
Well, right now, the absolute truth is, as my friend said:
“Because I think there comes a point where you have to acknowledge that This Thing You Did Back When is a part of you that’s always going to be there. It’s like Sue Olson (the actress who played Cindy Brady) once said–you have to accept that people will always think of you as that character, because only then can you really move on. “
That’s the freedom I was referring to in the last part of The Wesley Dialogues.
“If you don’t do it because you have to Turn Your Back On Trek, well, then you’re not really turning your back on Trek–you’re still letting the Trek thing dictate what you do… you shouldn’t look at not turning your back on Trek and finding your own voice as being mutually exclusive.”
Well, I’m going to wrestle with that last one for awhile, I think, and WWDN readers can expect more angst in the months to come. Sorry, it’s just part of the process. There are hundreds of great weblogs to read, and lots of pretty trees to look at outside if you’d rather not read that stuff here.
Well, this is 9 pages now, so I think it’s time to get back to the point:
Adam and I talk.
It is a good, long, honest, respectful talk.
We clear the air.
He tells me that his profit margin on the Vegas show was not several million dollars. He tells me that it was very, very slim, relative to his investment, which was nearly half a million dollars.
He tells me that he didn’t want me at the Grand Slam on stage because he wanted to hold off until the 15th show. He thought it would be cooler if he waited to have me come on then.
He tells me that he had no idea about my website, or about how the fans felt about me now.
He asks me if I’d reconsider.
I reconsider. I replay all those emails in my head, I balance the pros and cons, and I say to him,
“Adam. I am really conflicted about this. I feel like each time I do a Star Trek event, it’s…well, it’s not necessarily a step backwards, but it certainly isn’t a step forwards, but I feel like I should listen to the voice of the fans. We should all listen to the voice of the fans, because that voice has been increasingly silenced over the last decade.
I love to perform, and I would like to give something back to the fans. I would love to attend the event, and be part of the celebration, but I’d also like to share some of my writing with the fans. Would you be able to put me in an evening spot, so I can read somet things that I’ve written?”
“Is it funny?” He asks me.
“It’s funny, it’s sad, it’s bittersweet…it’s really a reflection of the person I am, and people seem to respond to it.”
“Can I book your comedy group for Grand Slam in 2003?”
“Yes. I’d love to bring my guys out. We love to perform.”
We talk about fees, and we agree on a very fair fee, which is right on par with the rest of the actors.
I will do a question and answer session at the convention, and I will bring selections of my writing, and read them for the audience during and evening program.
I ask him for one more thing. I tell him that I have more in common with the fans now than I do with the actors, and I keep hearing how the fans are getting the in-person-autograph shaft these days.
I want him to put my autograph table in an area where I can sit for a few hours, so all the fans can get their stuff signed, so I can talk with people who are so inclined.
He tells me that he’d really like that. Many actors just won’t do that, and he thinks it would be great.
I feel very good about this conversation, and I feel very excited to be part of this celebration.
Resolution? It’s a long ways off. That’s why they call it “angst.”
But there is something wonderful buried in all of this:
I doubt I would have gotten this phone call if there hadn’t been such a loud and immediate response from the fans.
You spoke up on my, and your, behalf, and your voice was heard.
Think about that for a moment.
Your voice was heard. You made a difference. Creation is the 800 pound gorilla of conventions. They don’t have to listen to anyone.
But they listened to you. They listened to us.
That, my friends, is huge, and everyone who is reading this gets to own part of that.
I strongly suggest that you take a moment, and phone, write, FAX, or email Adam or Gary or whomever at Creation, and thank them for hearing your voices.
And if you come to the 15th show, please, please, please seek me out and introduce yourself. I’d like to know you.

296 thoughts on “Schism”

  1. wil, you are definitely doing the right thing going to the con. again i have to say — can you change that picture on your fund raiser site? it’s silly. you looked way better on tech tv. can’t you just take a digital still shot of yourself without the smarmy smile?
    thanks!

  2. Geez, why was I on pins & needles the whole time I read this, when I won’t be able to go to the con whether you’d be there or not? I guess it’s because your addictive blog has made me – and I assume 1000’s of others – care about what happens to you. Not being a soap opera fan, I can only assume that the reason for THAT is your warmth, honesty and humor. Congratulations & I hope you have a blast at the con.

  3. Wil,
    Thanks for updating your Convention’s section!
    To all who want Wil to come to Toronto> You need to lobby the Toronto Trek convention people. Not sure who they are, but how hard can it be to find out?
    Does Wil even want to come to Toronto?
    Does the charge on the electron truly remain constant or does it decrease slightly over millenia?
    Too many questions, not enough anwers.

  4. I wrote to Adam and Creation saying they were making a mistake not having you in Pasadena, and I have since written thanking them for realizing their mistake. Good for you!
    I’ve also written to the organizers of AggieCon, a great, smallish con held at Texas A&M, telling them about you so that your Texas fans could have a chance to see you. I’ll keep my fingers crossed to see you on the guest list!

  5. Thanks for being such an inspiration. You did what you needed to do, amidst the diffificulties of the decision. I don’t think any less of you for going through that revolving door. I probably would have.

  6. Wil… congratulations. And as for the revolving door comment? Ignore it. The only person you have to impress is you. And maybe Anne. ;-)

  7. Woo hoo!!!
    As Homer Simpson would say
    Wish I could attend. Hope everyone enjoys the program. Maybe when you come to Chicago again, I’ll stop by at a convention. Peace and happiness.
    EM

  8. Honey, don’t do a damned thing because you have to “face” someone. Listen to people, consider the information around you … then go into someplace quiet in your head and tune out the static of other people’s opinions and LISTEN TO WHAT WIL SAYS. You’ll be fine.

  9. My congrats go out to you Wil, and to all those who made their voices heard.
    Your friend told you exactly what I had been thinking, and what I told my wife about. You’ll never leave Trek behind, because you were a part of it. You can’t leave it behind any more than you can leave behind that 15 year old kid that you were. You can move on, but it will always be a part of you.
    Also, these voices could kick-start your acting career if utilized properly. I believe that. Your website has grown out-of-this-world, much larger than I bet you ever imagined it would. It could be put to good use to you as an actor, not just as a person. It’s great that you’re able to share all of this personal stuff with us, The Fans. Find a way to let us help you as an actor.
    It’s cool that you like to write, that you want to be a writer. I’m down with that. But there are a LOT of us out here that would like to see you on the screen.
    You’re the underdog that everyone wants to see succeed.
    You’re The Man.
    (i just wish i could come see you at the con.)

  10. For all you canuk’s up there …. I found this on the web (though this year’s date is already passed) that does Conventions up there:
    http://tcon.icomm.ca/tt16/
    Perhaps if you all e-mailed them, they might consider bringing Wil up there?
    (wicked grin)
    I agree … with the poster as well, that perhaps we should e-mail Rick Berman en Mass, to try to get Wil’s Scenes restored in the ST:X movie.
    Perhaps if enough of us e-mailed Rick Berman, we’d get the same response from him, as we did from Creation Entertainment!
    ;-D
    Anyone got Rick Berman’s and Paramount big wigs e-mail addresses by chance, so we can get this baby (e-mail/letter/fax writing/phone call campaign) a rollin?

  11. One last thing to those ‘Across the Pond’ in England … if you look here at Creation’s Website:
    http://www.creationent.com/calendar_frame.html
    and click on the:
    London, England:
    January 2003 – Creation Visits the U.K.!!!
    link, you’ll see that Creation is indeed coming to the UK.
    Perhaps if you all e-mailed [email protected] and [email protected] with enough of you promising to buy tickets to his event there if Wil Wheaton appears, and IF Wil would do it, Adam and gang must might respond and book Wil to jump the pond and appear there.
    Just something for you Brits to consider doing.
    It worked once, a campaign towards Creation … it MIGHT work again.

  12. Been there and done that in my own, small-town way. I nearly let my angst keep me from doing something that turned out to be a personal turning-point that changed my life beyond my wildest dreams.
    I think most of the people behind you now are behind YOU for YOU, not only if you behave one way or another. Okay, maybe there are some out there who want their very own Wil Wheaton action figure, so to speak. “Hey, we all got together and guilted Creation into making Wil a better offer AND guilted Wil into accepting! Isn’t that cool?!” But most of us are along for the journey, Wil, not the destination. Do what is best for you–and it looks like that’s what you’re doing.
    Way to go on taking a bad situation and making something good out of it. Is that not an art all its own?

  13. It would seem I am eternally destined to be at the bottom of the comments section. ;)
    You know, you aren’t alone in your desire to leave the past behind, in the Trek multi-verse or otherwise. Fucking Shatner tried for decades to quell the mania surrounding Kirk, and suffered greatly for it for a very long time – until he finally came to peace with it. Perhaps it is just me, but he seems a much happier, more content man these days. Even Nimoy turned to alcohol, for crying out loud. They’ve felt the same angst you feel, I am quite sure. You say you have more in common with the *fans* than with your former co-workers, and while I am sure that is true on many levels, I am also willing to bet you will find some very interesting answers if you ask them how they have handled it all.
    The point is, Wil, you can move on with your future without having to abandon your past. In fact, it is far more healthy to place the past in proper proportion than to forget it ever existed. These conventions, they are your healthy link to the past. Interacting with people who shared an amazing experience with you – as either a cohort or a spectator – is amazing therapy. It’s like thumbing through an old photo album, or reuniting with old friends to talk about the past. It’s part of your foundation, Wil, it’s part of what has made you who you are as a human being, for better or for worse. It’s like family: we can’t choose our relatives (or our experiences), all we can do is survive them and try to laugh about it later. So many of us have bitter-sweet ties to the past – and we all have to work through them in a similar manner.
    Keep it a comfortable distance. Go to some conventions – not one every week, or anything ;) – and enjoy reminiscing and connecting. Don’t let it overtake your life, or give you an excuse for why you can’t go on to other projects or continue your writing – only THEN will your Trek past be destructive to your future.
    People go back for high school reunions, but do not stay on to go through high school again. You can, and should, feel perfectly fine about attending conventions from time to time. It doesn’t mean you are letting Trek suck you back in. You can pay homage to your past, and to an experience that gave you so much, without losing who you have – and will – become.
    Go, Wil. Enjoy it. Have a great time.
    And when you are done, return to Reality a better man for having faced the demon and proven it can’t destroy you.

  14. My god that was a long post!
    I had to go to the bathroom twice!
    J/k, its good to see you have close friends
    who care about you, live for yourself
    and the ones you love, screw everyone else.

  15. Cripes, Wil, if your entries get any longer I’m going to have to start packing a lunch.
    When you posted about emerging from the safety bubble of Star Trek I posted a comment about how being out of that bubble will now allow you to move in any direction you want.
    And it’s still true. You _can_ move in any direction you want, and if you sometimes move back into the Trek arena, so be it.
    Have fun, man. Sounds like it’ll be a heck of a party. ;-)

  16. Glad to hear you decided to go; there’s no shame in doing something for your fans. Though you sure agonize over things! Are you a Libra or something? I do exactly the same thing.
    I’m also enjoying your politically oriented posts immensely.

  17. WOOOHOOOO!!!!!
    That got their attention…I noticed they wasted no time updating their website.
    You’ve got a posse alright….A BIG ASS POSSE!!!
    See ya there man!!

  18. Wil:
    I’ve been a Trek fan since TOS but I’ve never been to a con. I thought the whole idea was kinda funny in a way.. but harmlessly funny.
    But, dammit.. I’m going to this one.
    Only for one reason. And I hope Creation “gets it”.
    And I also admit it.. I was never a Wesley fan, but was always a Wheaton fan.
    I’ll be the guy wearing a WWDN shirt. :)

  19. Hey to everyone attending either/both the Slanted Fedora convention in Vegas (this coming weekend), and even better, even more so, the Creation Entertainment ST:TNG 15th anniversary in Pasedina the end of this month, suggestion if ya don’t have already, the WWDN shirt/hat, ect, go here:
    http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/store.aspx?s=wilwheaton.48
    and WEAR it to the conventions!
    That way Creation and the other’s will SEE just how many of Wil’s Posse is there!

  20. I really hope that everyone gets to see what a great person you’ve turned out to be at the convention. I’m glad I found your website. I only wish I could get out there to meet you myself.

  21. Wil –
    I will repeat a familiar phrase, in case you are still wrestling with Trek angst…
    Before I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water.
    After I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water.
    Wil / Wesley / Trek.
    Wil / WWDN / No Trek.
    Same thing.
    Schism, indeed.

  22. Wil –
    I know you’re probably done reading all these comments and won’t be back here but I just want to say:
    YOU KICK ASS!
    I was really sad to read that you’d been cut from such an important event and I am beyoned awed at the power wilwheaton.net fans have. I’m really glad people here and everywhere managed to change Creation’s mind (although I wasn’t a part of the movement, I really admire what it did.).
    And, I’m really glad you changed YOUR mind and decided to do it.
    I hope that the convention is everything you hope and want it to be and that you have a really good time there. I’ll be looking forward to your post on it when the time rolls around.

  23. Wil,
    Firstly; BRAVO!!!, on the response of Creation to the obviously loud and grinding voice of the fans!!!
    Secondly; I just wanted to say that I am so very proud of you for accepting the offer. Even though I’m only 27, I feel like everyone’s big sister, and when I read your scribblings here it just brings me to tears. I remember my “crush on Crusher” days quite vividly, and the only reason I ever watched TNG was because you might be on it. When you left the show, I stopped watching it. I’ve always waited for his return from the “beyond”. I was also very excited to see what happened next, in this movie. Oh well, won’t be seeing that now….
    Lastly, but most importantly this; Your writings strike so terribly true with me, and they help me understand my own mind extrodinarily well. I find solice in your words Wil, and they help me to realize that life is an everlasting wheel of change. One thing that has helped me in my struggles in life, is simply accepting the fact that I have NO control in my life if I always let life just “happen” to me. I “happen” to life now. If I wish to cross a street, it’s up to me to step off the safety of the curb and begin the journey. Wil, you have come so far in your journey, that is extremely evident. Just always remember, it’s YOUR journey. Take the step off the curb. Remember the journies of your past and embrace the lessons learned there-in fondly, like “that ex-girlfriend” or like “Mrs. So-and-so, your third-grade teacher”. Everyone you touch, and everyone who touches you along your journey through this life will exchange a piece of themselves with you for all of eternity. Accept it. Own it. Surrender to it. Move on across the road, and be happy knowing you’ve made it that far.
    Forever a fan, (even when you were an ass)
    Eternally,
    Ember Ryan

  24. Wil – way to go on your decision and doing it for “you”. I think it’s mighty cool of you to be so open with the posse and so inviting to those who will attend the Con (I mean your own table with “it won’t cost you a penny to find out I’m human” sign all over it). One thing, though – don’t buy (so honestly) into the fact that these CON-organizers have humbly bent under the fans’ requests and decided to listen to them. They could not care less about what the Trekkies want – their main motivation is all about the lost revenue they would have to endure if you would not appear. You’ve become HUGE! So they would be plain STUPID to let you go. All in all the end effect is the same – you’ll be there – so all is well in the world again.

  25. Naive – that’s what I am – just wanted to give you a little warning about the pitfalls it brought me in the past.

  26. From someone who is, always was, and always will be a fan of whatever you do, I say, do what’s right for YOU. While important, the fans are not who you are and what you do is still has to be right for YOU.
    Take care and be aware that people who see you at the CON will be there because they LIKE you and anybody that cares to heckle or create crap, will be boo’d down before he leaves the microphone.
    One other thing to think about, if you’d like to see fans that really care, then check OUT http://www.icomm.ca/tcon/tt16. This is CANADA’S largest fan-run, not-for-profit, convention and I KNOW that people here would greet you with open arms and give you a welcom that you deserve. If you’re interested email me back and I will put you into contact with our convention committee.
    Take Care
    Ken Gaus

  27. Wil, Wil, Wil:
    Star Trek was very good to you as an actor. It is something that will live forever. You shouldn’t give a fuck what other people say, if you want to do the thing, DO IT!! If not then don’t. It is your choice. I am not you (obvioulsy – My wifes name is Ginger not Ann), but if I were, knowing what I know, I would do everyone I can especially if it would make some money for me, my wife and mainly my 1 year old.
    If you do it, do it because you love it!

  28. Wil,
    Do you see? It’s all here… Those of us who care about you will support you whatever you decide. It’s all about integrity, man. All of the angst and soul-searching you do is part of being an honest guy looking out for his family. I am glad you don’t do infomercials, but if you did, it would be for a really good reason. We all know that here. Anyway, don’t worry about losing fans. We are pretty much here to stay at WWDN. We love seeing you as a real guy here, but the cons are all about you in person- NOT WESLEY! You go, and don’t look back.
    P.S. You can sign my boobies if you come to the Midwest- if it will make you feel better :D

  29. Cool beans! Way to go, Wil!! Your fellow actor is right, if you get a kick outta the cons, and the fans love it, then why not?
    I lost interest in that LO-O-O-ONG anonymous rant about…. er, “Wheaton is a pussy, damn if he does and damn if he doesn’t.” I think those are loser trolls who like taunting actors and celebrities. Ignore them. There should be no inner conflict (angst??) about it, although as a guy who can’t make hard decisions either I empathize with you.
    KEEP UP THE GREAT JOB!!

  30. Standing ovation from the Sydney end of the Australian Peanut Gallery, Wil! WTG!!!! I’m so pleased for you, and for all your fans (and posse people!) who’ll be able to go! Just be careful of Cremations, though, Wil – they really are a bunch of bottom-feeding scum suckers and aren’t renowned for treating their “guests” all that nicely. If they give you grief, just direct them our way.
    Any chance you could come Downunder sometime? This little posse member would love to say g’day in person. You is a class act, Wheaton, and one heck of a human being.
    Vicki/Kendaa

  31. Dear Wil:
    I want to make a comment of support for Adam and Lori Malin. As a fan attending Creation Cons, I had a bad experience at a con, and was also treated as less than a customer by an employee. However, I wrote a letter to Creation, and both Adam and Lori went out of their way to make it right; far above and beyond the call of duty. At the next con (which they comped tickets for me and two friends), I made sure to take them two bottles of wine and some other gifts to thank them. They are good folks and highly professional. I am glad they came through for you.
    As for the whole “Star Trek: Leave Behind or No?” issue – use it to market whatever other things you are doing. ST fans are loyal beyond anything I have ever seen. I think they will continue to support you as long as you continue to support their vision based on the show. And you are already a part of that vision. Best to you. Great site!!!

  32. I just wanted to say I’m glad you are going to the convention. It will make many fans very happy. I wish I could go to the con too. But alas I’m stuck out on the farm. At least I can visit your webpage for entertainment. :-)
    I’m sure the other cast members will be happy to see you there. You can revel in that family feeling you said you got when you reunited with them to film scenes for Nemesis.
    I also wanted to say that I think you going to the convention would be something Gene Rodenberry would’ve wanted. I don’t think he EVER would’ve wanted you to feel any bitterness toward Star Trek. The show was his baby. And you were and still are a very important part of that. Because Gene chose you to play a character so close to his heart. They say you can’t choose family, but he chose you. And nobody can ever take that away from you. I think if Gene were alive today, he’d want to see you being content with the fact that you are part of this phenomenon– a part of his creation. From everything I read about him, he would’ve been outraged at the way you were treated. When you go, just remember that Gene’s spirit is out there, probably cheering you on for not letting bitterness interfere with being part of what is rightfully yours. You earned your place in the family. So make the best you can out of it. And enjoy yourself. I think that’s what Gene would want.
    luv,
    -Su
    ps. I hope I spelled Gen’s last name right..

  33. Wil,
    I think that for you Trek is like having a girlfriend. It’s a relationship (a unique one to be sure). Sometimes you get snubbed and break off the relationship, and sometimes you make up and get back together.
    There is always risk in relationships, but we were made for relationships, and maybe, you were made to have Trek as one of yours.

  34. Why did everybody hate Wesley? Honestly, I kind of liked the kid, so this whole hatred-of-Wes thing just does not make sense to me. Am I really the only one who thinks like this? o.O

  35. a note those complaining about the angst and conflicting emotions wil writes about…this blog would be no more than a ‘what i did today’ list…i may never go a con…so i can’t relate to that experience…but i can relate to the pain of being rejected…and the joy of being accepted by your friends whether or not you are on a hot streak kickin’ ass.

  36. Maybe you should ask William Shatner about this, he seemed to have similar problems dealing with this Star Trek legacy… and no insult intended but you are surprisingly cool… I know that means a lot to you, since it comes from a complete nobody, that you never met, that just happened to post randomly on the internet ;)
    taggat

  37. Hey Wil,
    I’m a long-time fan who recently rediscovered Start Trek after a 6 year hiatus while working on a career and raising children. A few months ago I accidentally ran into Canada’s Space Channel and now I’m having an absolute ball sharing Star Trek daily with my 7 year old boy. We both love Wesley, and I always have. I found your website a few months ago and was so surprised to learn from you of the fans’ reaction to you years ago, because Wes was one of my favorite characters. I just read this post of yours and I’m glad that you are going, the fans DO love you. You probably don’t need me to say that but I just wanted to add my voice to the crowd. Most importantly, though, besides the whole Wesley/Trek thing you seem to be a very intelligent, sincere, and thoughtful young man who has a lot to be proud of.
    Regards,
    Mimi

  38. Wil, I agree with your friend about the jealousy, they did’t like you cuz they were envious of your role, in and out fo character. I’ve maintained that opinion for some time. I had a crush, personally…
    Now, I know I’m late in commenting here, I’ve been busy. I haven’t read any other commments so maybe someone else said this. And I know you’ve resolved it but while I was reading this entry I remembered a little interview you did for TNN (when they had a Trek week or something). I watched very little of that week but I did see where you talked about the name Wesley, and how it was lame. And your mom told you that Gene had named you that cuz it was his (middle?) name and he saw himself in the role. It was then that you cherished it a little more, right? And you loved Gene, right?
    I don’t know you, I certainly didn’t know Mr. Roddenberry. But here’s the thing that jumped out at me as you spilled out all of your angst:
    What would Gene’s advice to you have been? What would he have liked? Not just for himself, but for YOU, cuz he obviously had a certain affinity towards you.
    I don’t know the answer, I won’t speculate, but whichever it is, I think you would know the answer. When things like this happen, remember the dream of the creator and what it was supposed to be (even if it’s been tarnished in the process, somewhat).

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