P-Funk

Man, you know what I hate?
When I’m running late, and I grab a pair of pants out of my dresser, and I don’t realize until it’s too late that they sat in the dryer too long, so they’re sort of funky smelling.
That’s right, I’m wearing my funky pants today.

76 thoughts on “P-Funk”

  1. dear god, you’ve just generated 50 comments on bad-smelling pants.
    WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOOONE???!!!

  2. Humm, now I know why your fictionalized character of yourself in the vegas conference saga you haven’t yet finished is called Spoogebog vega$pants.
    probably these were the very funky pants you modelled the character after, right?
    Naw, I did see an ad on a bus for the cartoon show you were spoofing. I didn’t know that before.

  3. How does sitting in the dryer for too long make them smell? Didn’t you wash them first? Did they burn? Don’t you use dryer sheets? Man, now I’m going to wonder about this. I’m going to do laundry now….

  4. the miracle of life…those little microbes…living, breeding and dying in your pants…the waste product they excrete is the funky smell that will cling to you long after you take your funky pants off…could it be they are now colonizing your nose!

  5. What do the British expect from us? Noone in America has said the word “trousers” in over a hundred years. If we mean “under” we say “under”, It’s really quite simple. Of course, there are boxers, which go both ways….(and I’m not insinuating anything about Tyson or Foreman, either.).
    It gets really confusing when you start talking biscuits, cookies, crackers, chips, and crisps. Not to mention jelly and jam.
    And then we have automobiles. In England only convertibles have hoods, and (only?) elephants have trunks. That’s the most frightening concept of all. (Babies wear bonnets in the US, and cowboys wear boots. The words have absolutely nothing to do with cars over here.)
    http://www.english2american.com
    To further divide the nations…we could discuss sports. For some reason those in Britain think bowling is supposed to be done outside, and with tiny balls.
    http://www.ananova.com/images/news/princecharles_bowlspa300x420.jpg

  6. I never thought of washing my clothes before…this might work wonders, like this new thing I tried called “showering”…it’s a scary concept, but its worked wonders on my social life, I havent seen such drastic results since deoderant *lol*

  7. Once I complained because I had funky pants.
    Then I met a man who had no lower body.
    So I took his pants.
    I mean, hey, it’s not like he was gonna use ‘em or anything.

  8. HEH, I have my funky pants on today, they’re clean and don’t smell bad but they have a hole forming in the crotch (where the seams meet). It’s fine and nobody would see it unless they were trying to steal my man-juice.

  9. Hardy har har!!! Funky pants don’t come from dryers, they come from the over-saturation of body odor, like my ass cheese, for example. Somebody was bragging about wearing the same pants for a month; all I gotta say to that is BIG DEAL! I am STILL wearing the same pants I have been wearing for the last 3 MONTHS! I can hardly concentrate to type this because my dirty ass and stinky genital odor is wafting up beneath my nose. I haven’t bathed in 3 weeks. I seem to get these odd rashes in the cracks of my thighs, where the legs branch off from the torso. They turn red and some kind of very smelly substance builds up on the rash. They itch a lot. Soooo, oral sex, anyone? tee hee

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