In Games of our Lives this week, I took a big risk and tackled an incredibly popular coin-op game: Moon Patrol. I sent my editor about 45000 words, which he skillfully cut down into 300-ish good ones.
Gameplay: The moon isn’t very safe, and thanks to budget cuts,
your buggy explodes as readily as a 1972 Pinto. Luckily, you’ve tricked
it out with a dashboard Jesus, lasers, and hydraulic shocks, so you can
blast the rocks and jump over the bottomless craters that get in your
Kids today might not like it because: They can’t pick up a hooker, nail her in the back of their moon buggy, then kick her out, run her over, and take her money.
Kids today might like it because: Moon Patrol is much more realistic than the car-racing games they’re used to playing.
It’s easier to do games that people may not have crystal clear memories of, and passionate attachements to, because if I don’t cover that game exactly the way they want me to, people can get really worked up. When I poked fun at Midnight Magic, some Atari Nerds wished that I would die. Because I wrote a humorous column about a game that is over 20 years old. Uhh . . . yeah.
So I’m a little nervous about the reaction to Moon Patrol, but no matter what happens, I got to sneak in a Futurama joke, (which made me almost as happy as my Obscurity Hall of Fame reference to Jon Byner in Anteater), so I am TEH WINNAR!!11