live from hollywood, it’s The Trade!

I just got back from Monogram Sweater, but thanks to the magic of Typepad’s post-it-in-the-future thingy, this won’t publish until I’m in Las Vegas on Friday. Cool.

I was very nervous on the way to the theater, more nervous than I’ve been before a performance in a long time. It didn’t make sense to me that I felt that way, because I was performing material I’m very familiar with, which I’ve performed several times before. On the way there, I puzzled it out, and came to the conclusion that I had a perfect storm of pre-trip anxiety, separation anxiety, and poker tournament anxiety, magnified by holy-shit-it’s-almost-the-holidays* anxiety. Once I realized what was actually going on, I calmed down a little bit, and I was grateful for the opportunity to take the stage and perform.

See, when I’m acting on stage, that’s the only thing going on in my entire world at that moment. I honestly forget about everything else in the universe while I’m in a scene. Even though I enjoy writing, I don’t get that same total escape when I’m doing it like I do with acting. I love that escape so much, I don’t think I’ll ever completely lose that thing which makes me an actor.

So the show was great. The other writers created hilarious stories (if you ever get a chance to see James Judd perform "James and the Momo Sisterhood," do it) and though the house was small, they were a very receptive and supportive group. I think they had a good time.

I took my iRiver with me to record my bit in the show. I stupidly put it on the music stand, next to my book, so the audio is pretty lousy . . . but I’m here it is anyway, for those of you who are forgiving and just want to sort of hear what it was like in the theatre. It blows out at the beginning, and again around the 5 minute mark for a bit. Right near the end you can hear my cell phone ring in my pocket, because Anne was calling me. Yeah, I thought I’d turned it to silent mode, but I guess it got nudged back into "ring while Wil is on the stage" mode. I don’t think anyone in the audience heard it, but it’s clearly there on the recording.

So, with the understanding that the audio is far from perfect, please pretend you are in a tiny little theatre in Hollywood, and you’ve just seen two brilliant performaces as I walk onto the stage . . . and enjoy The Trade: Download TheTradeLive (5.7 MB -14:14 Min).mp3

*(Normally, I’d just say Christmas, but I’m trying to make Bill O’Reilly’s enemies list.)

20 thoughts on “live from hollywood, it’s The Trade!”

  1. It’s interesting that you label Bill O’Reilly a “douchebag”, especially when referencing his crusade against politically correct Holiday/Christmas verbiage, especially considering your previous post excoriated the dipwads at Disney for their feeble efforts at political correctness in de-genderizing Christopher Robin. Whatever you think of the majority of his politics or methods, Bill O’Reilly is absolutely right about the stupidity of the PC holiday/christmas/hannukah/kwanzaa debates. It’s freakin’ Christmas.

  2. Haven’t had the pleasure of listening to your podcasts recently but I hope to have enough time in the near future to listen to ‘em. I went into your archives a while back and listened to some of your earlier stuff.
    I know what you mean about being in the zone. I get that way when I’m writing. My creatives cylinders are firing, I’ve got the music going and it is just…peace.

  3. You were right, the audio wasn’t great. But it was cool hearing you perform it.
    And, for the record, I agree with you about O’Reilly (sorry, Todd). Not everyone celebrates Christmas. I do, but it doesn’t mean the entire planet does, or has to. And, there is nothing wrong with being PC. To me PC means accepting other people’s points of view for what they are, OPINIONs. You know, everyone is entitled to one. Even you. (just kidding).
    Keep up the good work, Wil. That is why we keep reading it. Weird, huh?

  4. Hey Wil! We were in the audience and had the pleasure of seeing you perform. What a treat it was, thanks so much for doing it (I’m sure you don’t get paid or a venue like that, but it was the highlight of our evening seeing you and the other performers).
    We were the couple who came right in the theater when the doors opened and and then sat down like a couple of idiots in the empty theater and stared with interest at our program instead of saying “hi” to you. I didn’t want to be a fanboy and my wife had this MAJOR crush on you when she was a kid and thus, after driving three hours to see you, we pretended not to see you. We’re such loosers.
    But your performance was great! And yes, we did notice the cell phone going off. Is it sad that both my wife and I knew from only one and a half notes playing that you have the FUTURAMA song as your ringtone. Is it sad that I do too? Is it sad that I regret not using that as a great conversation starter after the show.
    -Brian

  5. I have acted twice on stage myself. I was freaked out both times but in the beginning – I’m only 17 – only. That’s kind of strange because once I’m on stage I forget about the outside/real world. There’s only my character, the characters I’m playing with and the audience.
    And god the fun we had behind the curtains. We laughed and on the last representation we all poked fun at those on stage as well. And it was so hilarious to see those who were supposed to be crying on stage to actually be laughing to tears. Besides, it was Sheakespeare!
    To conclude, I think it’s fair to say that theatre is a magical world indeed.

  6. douchebag… That was funny… Good Luck in Vegas. Just stay away from Bally’s and the Hilton, as they have WAY too much elderly cleavage in their wait staff…
    I’m all for giving old people jobs, but lets at least clothe them people…

  7. Well, I must’ve been engrossed in the story because I totally missed the cell phone. Or maybe I was too busy thinking “OMG, did I have that land speeder?”
    A very well written and told story, Wil.
    Word about Bill O’Reilly. Promoting religious diversity and being respectful of the millions of non-Christians in this world is *not* hatred.

  8. As a Pagan, I’m good with “the holidays”; Christians stole the whole Yule thing from us–time of year, “Christmas” trees, Yule log, a *lot* of the “Christmas” carols–but I’m good with that. Live and let live, is my motto–as long as “they’re* good with it. So feel free to say “the holidays”; I’m even sending out “holiday” cards this year.

  9. The podcast of the show was great. Who needs perfect audio? It’s the quality of the material and the performance that counts, and that was all Grade AA. I could hear and understand everything you said, and the little quirks (like the pages turning and the stand creaking) just make it that much more real. Keep ‘em coming, dude. This is prime stuff.

  10. Wil, if you get a chance, swing by the Wynn and check out the wait staff, and I think you’ll see it’s a sight better than Bally’s and the Hilton ;)
    Good luck here in town, if I knew what hotel you were playing in, I’d swing by and say hi :)

  11. That was a great story, Wil! Unfortunately, I grew up just after the Star Wars toy craze, so I can’t really relate. I was a Transformers/GI Joe kid, myself.
    On a side note, I’m a devout Christian, and I have absolutely no problem with wishing people Happy Holidays if I’m unsure of their beliefs. What I do find weird is people calling Christmas trees “holiday spruces.” I mean, are there other holidays where you decorate evergreen trees? We don’t call it a “holiday Menorah” do we?

  12. Good audio and good story! Like at least one other listener, I was too caught up in the story to catch the cell phone ring. I’ll have to listen again.
    If you have the time please give us an idea of how you produce rfb and the “Trade” recordings. Any software & hardware suggestions are appreciated!
    (Did you get the impression you’ve inspired me to look into doing a podcast of my own)? ;-)

  13. I loved this :). It was great to hear this Wil.
    I have a great song if you haven’t heard it -
    PLEASE PLEASE check out
    ADAM RICHMAN -
    THE LONELINESS SONG
    I TRULY think you will like this song alot!
    I currently have the bid for it on my blog
    unstablemindky.blogspot.com
    (scroll to bottom of page)

  14. My Name Is William Fucking Shatner

    As is the case with any geek who grew up in the late 80s/early 90s I was familiar with the name Will Wheaton. He was the kid on Next Gen, and star of Stand By Me. However, we all tend to be victims of this attitude that celebrities are…

  15. ok, seriously Wil? You’re too hard on yourself. Yes, the audio wasn’t /perfect/ but the way you were talking I was expecting to not be able to understand you at all. Really I whould consider it “acceptable audio quality” if you voice didn’t leave the maximum range of the recorder. Anyway, minor, /minor/ technical problems aside, it was damn funny and actually heartwarming. Its always great to hear you speak and you are a talented writer as well, obviously.

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