delivery for i.c. weiner

I absolutely love that one particular kind of pepperoni pizza that you get at the mini golf course.

You know the one: it’s cardboardy, the pepperonis are usually burnt a
little bit, and the cheese burns the everlovingfuck out of your mouth
when you bite into it, just before it slides off in one whole piece and
sticks to your chin or falls onto your Journey concert shirt.

If I could eat that pizza while I listened to Hall & Oates and
played Space Invaders, I could be in fourth grade for the rest of my
life.

18 thoughts on “delivery for i.c. weiner”

  1. Just don’t fall back out of your chair when you get the pizza. That’s a long cold sleep.
    I love pizza like that myself. Sometimes you can buy a premade pizza at the grocery store and fake it. Not 100% the same, but close.
    Hope the audition went well.

  2. I found that that the proper use of the parmesean cheese sprinkles allowed me hold some of the cheese on top (as well as soak up and save the puddle of pepperoni sauce that’s on top) that, and a big coke that could be used as an emergency backup system to reduce the temperature of the aforementioned cheese through the “huff and swish” method…
    “Everybody wants to rule the world” and “Eye of the Tiger” on the jukebox in the background…
    Ahh, nice.
    Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I wish I would’ve appreciated how much 4th grade rocked while I was still in it.

  3. …usually it’ll repeat on you with an earthshattering belch right as you’re trying to get the golf ball through the windmill. So you curse and bang the blue-rubber-tipped mini-golf club against the side of the course, and get a dirty look from the grandmother who’s ahead of you one hole for your potty mouth. But you don’t care, ’cause you’ve had to wait for her and her snotty grandson who takes four or five mulligans on each hole, until you’re ready to grab his orange ball and hurl it into the parking lot, pushing the grandmother down, breaking her hip.
    Did I get away there? Sorry. Lousy day at work.

  4. Used to be a lovely little mini-golf place that sold that sort of heavenly crap around here. They tore it down to make a frocking car lot, if I recall… Speaking of recollections, thanks for that one. *steals Journey tee*

  5. Perfect lead-in for me to ask about my pizza staple from the 80s:
    Did anyone else other than myself devour those Totino’s Party Pizzas with (hold for the key ingredient) Velveeta? Anyone? Anyone?
    It is much better than it sounds. And yes, you burn the fuck off the roof of your mouth if you break the baked-on velveeta skin (similar to a pudding skin). But it is soooo white-trashy good.

  6. *snorts at the name of the post* one of my friends did a prank call pizza delivery using that name…that was some of the best pizza ever. come to think of it, we listened to Journey at that party too…weird…
    but i digress. speaking of the type of pizza Wil mentioned, i think i ate something like that for lunch today. mini-golf pizza may be good in a gross sort of way, but nothing tops cafeteria pizza!!

  7. Dude! I was in Germany eating those same pizzas in 4th grade. We’d head over to the Schwimmbad, down some Fanta and feed Space Invaders all day long! Awesome! BTW, you can buy those pizzas at the grocery store. Just get the cheapest ones that have 2 or three boxes fused together with ice crystals.

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