quasi-live blogging wednesday’s dodger bullpen meltdown

Molskine_fish_jerky
I
was supposed to take Nolan to the Dodger game on Wednesday, but he opted to stay home and work on a history project, because he wants to get the best grade possible. "There will be a lot of Dodger games this year," he said on Tuesday, "but if I blow it on this project, I don’t get a second chance. I’m sorry we can’t go together."

Longtime readers of my blog know how that made me feel, and I’m still proud of him, three days later.

Since I already bought our tickets, I called my brother Jeremy and asked him if he’d like to go in Nolan’s place. He accepted, and we had an absolute blast at the game, even though the Dodger bullpen is painfully bad this year.

I blogged it, live-to-Molskine, and transcribed the whole thing at blogging.la:

7:47 PM - Navarro is up with the bases empty. I say to
Jeremy, "You know, not only can Navarro not make the throw to second,
he can’t hit, either." The words are barely out of my mouth when
Navarro slams the second pitch about 380′ for a solo homer. Jeremy
says, "Yes! Get angry at my brother, Navarro! Who’s up next? You also
suck!"

7:50 PM - The kid in front of us to our left has a chocolate
malt with a wooden spoon-shaped thing. I guess the plastic spoon was
just user error. Whew.

7:55 PM - Seo has a really great curveball.

7:58 PM - Piazza breaks up the no-hitter with a double to the
wall in center-right. Whatever. He’s still totally gay (not that
there’s anything wrong with that.) Jeremy blames me because I pointed
out that Seo had a no-hitter through four.

8:01 PM - Middle of the 4th, and they’re doing that Coca Cola
answer a question and win a coke thing down on the field. The guy gets
it right, and a really hot girl walks off the field with him. I say,
"Hey, she thinks she’s getting his coke, and doesn’t even know it’s soda!" Jeremy says, "Yeah, she’s toatally a Coke whore." We think we’re the funniest guys in the world. High-five.

8:06 PM – Kent is up with runners at the corners. I say to
Jeremy, "You know, the problem with Kent is that he’s really on the
downside of his career. Not only does he stuggle to turn two, he can’t
come through in the clutch with runners at the corners." I look down at
the field and say, "Your move, Mister Kent." Unfortunately, my
Navarro-fu doesn’t work and Kent is out.

24 thoughts on “quasi-live blogging wednesday’s dodger bullpen meltdown”

  1. I’ve done the same thing with the Blue Jays. For the longest time it worked too. “Carter hasn’t hit in a month, he stinks” = home run. “It’s a shame nobody in our infield can catch or throw” = double play. It eventually got on my friends’ nerves when I’d be negative the entire game in an attempt to get them to win. Eventually, it stopped working. Doesn’t matter though, they’ve been one of the most entertaining teams in the league the last 2 seasons.
    I was pissed when we traded Kent to the Mets, he was a rookie, and hit nothing but extra bases in his short Toronto career. Of course, we got David Cone in return, so it wasn’t a BAD trade.

  2. You have to remember, Wil, that that stuff only works when you actually mean it. When you’re just using obvious reverse psych, it never works.

  3. Hey, Wil, stupid geek question: How did you blog this? I assume by the molekine subject that you wrote on a [paper] notebook then transcribed it later, but I’m just curious, ’cause I’d like to do something similar. Thanks for any insight!
    \m/
    -Rob

  4. I’m glad someone else was disappointed yesterday as well. After getting punched in the stomach and kicked in the balls yesterday (i.e. watching the Laker game) I could barely drag myself out of bed and go to work this morning. Ugh.
    I’ll be with you on the Dodger wagon as soon as the Lakers’ season is over (possibly as early Saturday) but until then, they’re just going to have to suck without me.

  5. I know how you feel. I think.
    The Cubs started off so well, and now they suck. Im sad.
    *pokes TallRob* Im guessing Wil probably wrote it on paper, then brought it home and typed it up as he normally would a blog. Atleast, thats how I do my stories.

  6. I took my Molskine with me and copied out of it this morning, Tall Rob.
    I tried to scan in the page where the Fish Jerky first appeared, but something’s wrong with my scanner and I don’t have time to deal with it right now.

  7. Awww, I love your kids more and more everyday. Nolan, and I’m sure Ryan, too, have their priorities straight. That’s so great!
    Errrr. . . . I didn’t mean to sound like Dr. Seuss there for a moment, lol.

  8. “You also suck!”
    That was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. The ‘also’ is what made it funny. No ever says ‘also’ in that sentence.

  9. Dude…
    I was at that game too, sitting along the 3rd base line. The greatest moment was when Olmedo hit that absolutely TOWERING 3-run homer, and we were back in the game… for about 5 minutes.
    The bullpen just gave the Padres batting practice. 5 hits on 13 pitches???
    It’s a hard time to be a Dodgers fan. Nevertheless, we stayed until the final out. And we never had an easier time getting out of the parking lot…

  10. Dude…
    I was at that game too, sitting along the 3rd base line. The greatest moment was when Olmedo hit that absolutely TOWERING 3-run homer, and we were back in the game… for about 5 minutes.
    The bullpen just gave the Padres batting practice. 5 hits on 13 pitches???
    It’s a hard time to be a Dodgers fan. Nevertheless, we stayed until the final out. And we never had an easier time getting out of the parking lot…

  11. Yay! I made my scanner work. There is now a thumbnail (click to embiggen) of the Fish Jerky page of my Molskine.

  12. Sean would be proud of you for driving traffic to blogger.la by leaving the Fish Jerky text out of your WWdN post and making us hunt for it over there. You can’t have a picture of the words Fish Jerky in excited (terrified?) letters and then leave us hanging.

  13. Yeah, you think your Dodgers suck, try having the Portland Trail blazers, as the number one crappiest team in the NBA, now that is something to be proud of. I would rather go to a Dodger game anyday. The Dodgers were my favorite team growing up, I even still have my Dodgers leather jacket and my mini bat that I bought at my first Dodger game. Whatever happened to the good ole days when our favorite teams were at the top of their game, that or we were too young to care either way? I miss those days!

  14. “7:58 PM – Piazza….He’s still totally gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that.)”
    Oh, Wil, please. Honestly. Is that the best insult you can come up with? That he could be gay? Seriously– I’m unimpressed. Actually, I’m pretty disappointed. You usually seem to have more of an imagination– and more of a brain– than that. If Piazza loves men it explains his inability to throw to second, or run to first? Come on. This is a sentiment far more pathetic than I’ve seen from you before. I’m sure you’re just being lazy and not searching for a more accurate, less pedestrian “insult”. Redeem yourself with an edit.

  15. Piazza throws like a girl – so I get the analogy. I must have missed the notice that stated Wil has to “edit” or change his definitive terms simply because one of the commenters was “unimpressed”. If you can write in a less pedestrian form, Kristen, knock yourself out. I like the way Wil writes – in fact, he hits one out of the park in every blog.

  16. alicein1derland wrote: “Piazza throws like a girl – so I get the analogy.”
    So, throwing like a girl = being a gay man? Are you 9 years old? Did I mistakenly get into the wayback machine Friday night and land myself back in 1983?

  17. As a Mets fan who just got the news that Zambrano is out for the year with the injury, I LOVE hearing that Seo was pitching well. Oh, wait, that’s right, we got Duaner Sanchez. Nevermind.

  18. i love love your family entries:) your brother sounds just as weirdly funny as you are:) i am glad for all the laughs and the high fives (the coke whore thing made me snort).

  19. Kristen – I didn’t mean to ruffle any feathers – the first part of my post was just a joke…. you know, like not serious. So if that offended you, please let this 9-year old apologize. The second part of the post was defending Wil against your criticism of his writing style. You’re totally entitled to your opinion – I just happen to disagree. I think Wil is an excellent writer and for me, he doesn’t “dispoint”.

  20. alicein1derland wrote: “the first part of my post was just a joke…. you know, like not serious”
    So, what was the joke? Yes, it did offend me. I’m sick of insulting gay people being “just a joke”.
    If you don’t get what I mean, let’s try substituting the word “black” for “gay” in Wil’s post and see if we’re all still laughing. It would go something like this:
    “Mike Cameron breaks up the no-hitter with a double to the wall in center-right. Whatever. He’s still totally black (not that there’s anything wrong with that.)”
    Ha ha! How funny! I haven’t laughed this hard since Martin Luther King died!

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