When we last left our heroes, your humble narrator had just gathered up his droogs for a little bit of the old ultraviolence a–
Oops. Sorry. Wrong humble narrator. Allow me to begin again.
When we last left our heroes, your humble narrator had just suggested a quick walk uptown to see the Flatiron building.
We headed back up fifth avenue toward midtown. It was starting to
get dark, and we’d planned to meet up with Kathleen and Atom for snacks
and drink, so we had time for just one more silly sight seeing thing I
wanted to do."I really want to see the Flatiron building," I said.
"I really wish you wouldn’t talk in hyperlinks," Anne said.
"Sorry. I’m a blogger. I can’t help it."
"What’s the Flatiron building?" She said.
"Oh, you’ll recognize it as soon as you see it, " I said. "It’s only about a fifteen minute walk from here."
I hate to disappoint everyone who was waiting for the hilarious joke about how it took an hour when I made a wrong turn and ended up looking into the Hudson, but the boring truth is that it really did take just about fifteen minutes to walk from Washington Square Park up fifth avenue to 22nd street.
The journey was not unpleasant, though I did notice an unsettling amount of big chain stores along the way. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m getting really sick and tired of seeing the same twenty stores wherever I go. At least they left the buildings alone on 5th, though. In California they tear the historical buildings down and replace them with peach stucco boxes that invariably have a Subway, Jamba Juice and Old Navy in them.
A question for New Yorkers: What’s with all the scaffolds? They seem as impermanent as the going out of business sales you used to see in the camera shops on Times Square before it was gentrified into a giant fucking mall.
By the time we’d made it to 22nd street, I’d gotten Anne accustomed to
walking across a street when it was safe, rather than only when
permitted by a stoplight. This is a significant achievement for a
couple of California kids. Please send flowers and awards.
"Okay, we just have to walk up one more block, and then you’ll totally recognize it," I said.
One block later, Anne said, "Hey! I totally recognize this building!"
"I know it’s stupid to walk all the way up here just to look at a building with a funny shape," I said, "but since we never do authentically ‘touristy’ things, I thought this was a better plan than going to the Hard Rock."
We walked up into Madison Square a little bit, while I took some pictures. "Man, this is going to be called ‘Wil’s trip to New York where he took pictures of the Flatiron building." I said. I took a few more and added, "If I take many more, I think I’m officially stalking it."
(The pictures are meh, but I’m particularly proud of this one, with the crescent moon sort of hanging around and saying, "Hey! I’m the moon! Soy la Luna!")
I put the camera away, and we walked into Madison Square Park. It was just as exciting and vibrant as Washington Square Park, without all the damn construction. We particularly enjoyed all the dogs getting their dog park on, juxtaposed against the tons of people sitting on benches using the WiFi on their laptops and iPhones. Living in Los Angeles with a huge back yard, we totally take public outdoor spaces for granted — and let’s face it, most of our urban parks here are crummy and filled with hobos — so it was cool to see so many people outside, enjoying them in the midst of the concrete jungle.
We meandered though the park and passed a couple in their mid-twenties, sitting together on a bench on what was most likely a pre-third date meeting. The energy and excitement between them was electric. Anne squeezed my hand a little tighter and said, "I love that I’m in New York with my husband."
"I love that too," I said. "I’m really glad we could make this trip."
Just then her phone chirped at her. "It’s Kat and Atom," she said, "they want to meet up at Galaxy in a few minutes."
"You mean Galaxy?"
"I really hate it when you do that."
"At least I didn’t do this," I said.
"You can’t Rickroll me in real life, dummy." She said.
"Oh yeah? Ask me a question."
She sighed and put her hand on her hip. "What time is it?"
"’Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down never gonna –"
"Just stop it. This conversation isn’t even happening. You’re just making it up to amuse yourself."
It was true.
"How am I doing?"
"The real me would probably make a comment that’s a lot funnier than anything you can come up with, and since you’re putting words into my mouth anyway, I’m just going to say that you’re handsome, suave and charming."
"Oh go on," I said.
"Also, when we get home, you should buy several classic game cabinets and put them in your office."
"You’re the boss, dear," I said.
And that’s exactly how it happened, I swear to jeebus.
Still more to come . . .
I’ve been drooling for a classic game cabinet myself. But there’s no way I could justify the $$$ for one. All the same, here’s a link to get you drooling:
http://www.xgaming.com/htm/cabinet.shtml
Wil wrote: “You can’t Rickroll me in real life, dummy.”
Goddammit. I finally got it out of my head from the Met’s thing, and now this. I hate you. And love you. But mostly it’s hate right now.
Wasn’t there that haunted Ms. Pac-Man making the rounds? That one should be going cheap.
I love the Flatiron – the better half works right next door to it. I was in the Take Two offices a couple of years ago too, and almost ended up with a job there but visa issues screwed it up, sadly…
And the scaffold…its everywhere. It finally comes down on one corner after 2 years, and it goes up on the corner opposite the next week. Keeps the unions busy I guess!
Scaffolding is there to maintain those buildings that aren’t torn down. ;D
I work by Madison Square park. If you eat french fries there while sitting slightly too still the squirrels will run over and sit in your lap. heh.
The scaffolds are basically a legal dodge. Buildings here in NYC have to be inspected every few years (5 I think) and if something fails they have a certain number of days to begin repair work. Since turnaround time on finding a contractor and getting them started is often longer than the time required to start the repairs… the scaffolding goes up because that somehow satisfies the legal requirements. Scaffolding=work has begun as far as the law is concerned I guess. We hate it too, trust me.
A real life Rickroll! That’s awesome! If I could sing well enough for the tune to be recognized, I would totally do that.
I’m really confused. I’ve been in Southern California for almost two years now and so far I have yet to see the average pedestrian waiting for the light/signal to cross. Just start crossing with three kids and a stroller in tow in the middle of the street without looking? Oh yes. So I think I’ll send you kudos and flowers for having had to overcome walking against the lights. 😉
On a completely other note, the Flatiron Building always reminds me of the Brown Palace. Until I realize it’s far taller and the angled corner is far more acute on the Flatiron Building. Of course given the history it should be the reverse but I did grow up in Colorado so I do have to show SOME home state bias.
Actually, a coworker of mine figured out how to rickroll people in real life – he downloaded the video on his iPhone, and he tells them to “check this out” and shows it to them.
Hey Wil, If you haven’t watched it yet, keep any eye open for what room they meet in on this weeks (The Ties That Bind) BSG.
I think you’ll get a kick out of it.
Thanks… your opening sentence made me choke on the water I was drinking when I tried to laugh at the same time. To top that off I got to the imagined conversation and then proceeded to spray my monitor with the water I was sipping to soothe my throat!
Bravo and well-played sir.
My finace and I leave notes to each other on the fridge and I Rick Roll’d him the other day with one 🙂
Appy-polly-loggies! Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?
Another great story. One question – were they putting in the foundations for Madison Cube Gardens when you were there?
I think I’m going to have to start Rickrolling people in real life. That’s awesome!
Sounds like a great trip so far! 🙂
Curse you Wil. I’ve been duped again. This rick rolling is getting crazy. I have to admit your trip to NYC makes me miss the big apple. I moved to sunny Miami 10 years ago and met my wife here and never went back. But the vivid picture your words paint of the park scene and the photos of the Flat Iron building make me miss my hometown. Any way your gonna make it down to a waterfront venue such as Battery Park or the South Street Seaport? If you do make sure you shoot some pics. Either way, keep the memories coming. GG.
My great-grandfather worked as a steam pipe fitter on the construction of the Flatiron, and a number of friends work there now (St. Martin’s Press). I think it was definitely worth the walk to see it. It’s quite unique in New York, and that it is unique is unique, since this stupid city loves to pull down gorgeous landmarks to make room for giant rectangles of crap. (You’ll have to excuse me on that one…I work above Penn Station. Ick.)
By the time we’d made it to 22nd street, I’d gotten Anne accustomed to walking across a street when it was safe, rather than only when permitted by a stoplight. This is a significant achievement for a couple of California kids. Please send flowers and awards.
I don’t recognize your description of pedestrian activity in California.
In my 10 years here, I’ve noticed that people simply walk into the street expecting traffic to stop for them. By and large, they’re right; traffic comes to a stop in the oddest places because some goof decided he wants to cross the street.
I suppose New York is similar, with the twist that pedestrians recognize that any given driver may be hardassed/crazy enough to actually run them down. It breeds a little more respect for the vehicle.
By the time we’d made it to 22nd street, I’d gotten Anne accustomed to walking across a street when it was safe, rather than only when permitted by a stoplight. This is a significant achievement for a couple of California kids. Please send flowers and awards.
I don’t recognize your description of pedestrian activity in California.
In my 10 years here, I’ve noticed that people simply walk into the street expecting traffic to stop for them. By and large, they’re right; traffic comes to a stop in the oddest places because some goof decided he wants to cross the street.
I suppose New York is similar, with the twist that pedestrians recognize that any given driver may be hardassed/crazy enough to actually run them down. It breeds a little more respect for the vehicle.
Wil,
Looks like you have had another great adventure with your awesome wife. Both of these cities are worth the trip, to me. Enjoy your vacation.
FG
This was a good trip for you. Your writing is a lot more joyful and free lately, and it seems as though it’s a direct result of this trip.
Rock on!
Why go to Galaxy when you are right at the Shake Shack??
And yes, there is perma-scaffolding all over the place and it’s very annoying. As Cully pointed out, our Local Law 11 makes them ubiquitous.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Galaxy rocks! And not just because it’s next to the Irving Plaza. Been there for drinks (lots) and eats (some) but a great spot for both.
A question for New Yorkers: What’s with all the scaffolds? They seem as impermanent as the going out of business sales you used to see in the camera shops on Times Square before it was gentrified into a giant fucking mall.
They exist as a bane to our existence. New York is in a constant state of rebuilding.
I will use this in conversation.
In the course of providing an enjoyable three-part-and-counting narrative of a recent trip to New York City with his wife, Wil Wheaton wrote this, in part three:It was getting late, and though our bodies thought it was three hours earlier,…