it’s all inside the wrist. it’s all inside the way you time it.

Some more Memories of the Future edits, for your (and my) amusement.

Here’s the original:

After a bit of exploring, they find themselves in the lab of Data’s creator, Dr. Noonian Soong. Riker, Geordi, and Tasha all join forces to be sort of an Exposition Voltron, informing the audience that Noonian Soong was the Earth’s foremost neuroscientist, until he tried to build Asimov’s positronic brain and failed. Everyone thought he did the walk of shame off the planet, but it turns out he just moved to Omicron Theta to continue his work until he got it right. (Coincidentally, on Omicron Gamma, there’s a group of former Microsoft employees still working on an MP3 player).

And here’s the rewrite, which I must tell you, made me giggle more than it probably should have:

They make their way to the exact spot where Data was discovered: it’s sort of a hollowed out area beneath a bunch of rocks, where Data tells them he was found wearing nothing more than a layer of dust. Before anyone can make a saucy reference about “The Naked Now” to Tasha, Geordi’s VISOR reveals that the rocks aren’t naturally hollow, and the “wall” opens up, revealing a twisty maze of passages, all alike.

After a bit of exploring, they find themselves in the lab of Data’s creator, Dr. Noonian Soong. Riker, Geordi, and Tasha all join forces to be sort of an Exposition Voltron:

Riker: Noonian Soong was Earth’s foremost neuroscientist, until he tried to build Asimov’s positronic brain…

Tasha: Everyone thought he did the walk of shame off the planet, but it turns out he just moved to Omicron Theta to continue his work until he got it right.

Geordi: And I’ll form the head!

And this is essentially unchanged from the original, but it still makes me happy:

Data flees to Sickbay where he meets up with Dr. Crusher and shows her his on/off switch—or, as he describes it, “an android alarm clock.”

Then he smirks, and asks hopefully, “Is that amusing?”

Dr. Crusher slowly shakes her head “no.” It’s the first genuinely laugh-out-loud moment of the episode, and the last time we’ll be laughing with “Datalore” instead of at it.

After a brief encounter with soon-to-be-ex-Chief Engineer Argyle, Dr. Crusher promises Data that she’ll keep the existence of his mysterious off switch to herself. Data asks her if she would want people to know about her off switch, if she had one. She laughs, and nervously glances at a bottle of Jägermeister in her office.

I got my first glimpse of the cover comps earlier this week. I think it’s going to be awesome.

54 thoughts on “it’s all inside the wrist. it’s all inside the way you time it.”

  1. Hello Sir,
    Just wanted to drop a note and say I just finished Sunken Treasure and loved it.
    I plan on picking up your other books soon.
    Thanks for being a writer!

  2. Correction (since I’m really anal about this kind of shit for some reason), it was Macbeth that Spiner was referring to when he was talking about the replicas of Patrick Stewart’s head. I’ll cop to it: I am not a huge Shakespeare fan by any stretch of the imagination. Jules Verne, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, yes, but Shakespeare is kind of filed under “Shit that I was forced to learn about in High School 20 some-odd years ago…” Not my cup of Earl Grey Tea at all.

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