Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Five

Futurecast700px-CHoly crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Two important things:

  1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it comes out October 13th. Nyahh.
  2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.

Episode Notes:

  • The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
  • The theme music for this show is from Jive Ass Sleepers' album Gettin' Down to Business. The track is called Private Eye.
  • I think this show is a little quiet. I think I know why, but it's too late to do anything about it.
  • Yeah, I mixed the music near the 6:40 mark poorly. You didn't miss anything, though. Aren't you glad you're not paying for this?
  • This week, it's The Last Outpost! Yes, the introduction of the most intriguing enemy ever, plus Chinese Fingercuffs! There may be technobabble. You have been warned a second time about something unrelated to the naughty bits.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is loooooong this week: almost 25 minutes.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is tubby this week: almost 12MB.
  • Memories of the Futurecast congratulates the Dodgers on winning the NL West, despite doing their very best not to over the last two weeks.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is not just another mouth in the lipstick vogue.
  • Memories of the Futurecast promises not to bug you to follow it on Twitter.
  • Memories of the Futurecast isn't even on Twitter.
  • Memories of the Futurecast misses HOBO DARKSEID on Twitter.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is done talking about Twitter.
  • Memories of the Futurecast wishes Garageband would hurry up and mix the damn show so we can post it and stop adding to this list, already.

Download Memories of the Futurecast: Episode FIVE!

(It used to say Four, because I had a temporary case of the stupids. I fixed it, though.)

65 thoughts on “Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Five”

  1. I am so glad I put my coffee down before listening, otherwise my screen would be wet.
    1) Again you reminded me of how old I am, thanks.
    2) I want to ask you to share with me what you are currently imbibing (I know excitement)and please share. But you did share with this awesomeness.
    3) YAY the Wesley talk made me stupid giddy and excited cause I am a dork like that.
    4) HOLY CRAP DUDE 1 MORE WEEK! Congrats!
    5) It is like Christmas in October (speaking of which I saw a picture taken by a friend in Seattle of Christmas displays including trees in the mall. Time to stick turkeys in the windows)
    6) Anne is brilliant!

  2. One more point: I have been mentioning of course both on my site and my radio show. SQUEE! It even got a mention of Friday for my Geek of the Week which was already planned to be Trek inspired.

  3. Nice one.
    Slight annoyance: when the recap starts, the music drowns out your first few lines.
    Heh @ the singing the credit theme tune. :)
    I love that the futurecasts are getting longer, too.
    Is there going to be an ebook?

  4. Wil,
    You are a fucking genious.
    1. *sings* Star Trek the Next Generation!!…I will be annoying my stupid co-workers with that for days! Stupendous.
    2. Explanation for how Wesley Crusher would save the day…got me a little turned on.
    3. Sticking it to George Lucas…AWESOME!
    4. Techno-babble…BArilliant! (and I’m turned on again.)
    5. The Guild tease…you are an evil bastard genious.
    6. Fucking up the Wizard of Oz joke and calling yourself on it…made me giggle like a school girl.
    7. Price of the book…your wife rocks and you are one lucky bastard.
    I can not tell you enough how I needed this today…even though you made me feel old, I feel no malicious intent. In fact I love love love reminiscing about waiting up on Friday nights until 10pm for my favorite show to come on…yes, even the first season (did I just say that out loud?)
    Thanks again for another great podcast!

  5. This is fun! I just have to keep an ear out for the sgt coming down the hall. Luckily he rattles a lot, so I can hear him coming. You haven’t even actually gotten to the excerpts, and you’re making me laugh out loud!

  6. I’m probably one of the only people who was dorkish and young enough when these episodes aired that I actually thought Wesley was cool. (Yes, it hurts to say that sometimes.) However, in spite of that, I’m finding a growing fascination with the thought of having a Wil Wheaton solo re-enactment of TNG episodes. Just the reading is more interesting than the original episodes.
    Good times, good sir. Thanks for the flashbacks, the humor, and the enjoyable story.

  7. Dude, you think you’re excited about the book coming out next week? I am so excited! It makes perfect sense for you to want to wait to release it till you can give it your full attention. No worries about that. Anne’s price idea is awesome. I can’t believe 1987 was that frakkin’ long ago either. My first semester of college. Where has the time gone?
    Space croissant! That just about killed me. Well, all of this podcast just about killed me, with the nonstop giggling and so on. I’m really glad to hear you are planning to continue doing these even after the book is out. For some reason I thought you might stop doing them, and that made me sad.

  8. When you called out fanfic writers on speculating Picard was Wesley’s father it freaked me out. I was actually writing a fanfic (yes, I’m a TNG fanfic writer) as I listened to it. This story revolves around Wesley, though not about Picard being his father, and for a moment I felt like I was caught red-handed.
    I used to listen to these episodes on the bus but had to stop because people would look at me funny as I tried to suppress my laughter. This time I listened at home and only one neighbour called to ask what was so funny (thin walls).
    I loved how Wesley would have saved the day. So, true!
    I will gladly wait until next week. You deserve to be part of the release after all the work you’ve put into it!

  9. I know it is a lot to ask, but if you would martyr yourself on the quills of Lucas’s legal staff I would consider it a personal favor.
    And I would promise never ever again to bring up that dead body I helped you bury in the Pasadena hills.
    What? That wasn’t you?
    Great Blogcast! Gooooooo Wil!

  10. You DO want to make an audiobook, believe me.
    Not even will I buy it immediately,I will also promote the heck out of it!
    So, what’s your excuse now? You do want to send your kids to college, don’t you? πŸ˜‰

  11. Geek/Dork anecdote:
    In a short lived TNG RPG (FASA system) I played a (so unoriginal but I was young) Ferengi bartender who had somehow managed to get the license for 10 Forward on our ship. I came up with my own Rules of Acquisition (“Who sits at the bar has to order a drink” being my favourite) and was obviously a font of knowledge regarding the shadier side of the galaxy. πŸ˜‰
    Hm, any idea if you can get a personal icon when you log in with OpenID?

  12. Thanks for these – finally dl’d them all to date this morning, to keep me distracted getting my flat back in order!
    Big fun, though many of us are never going to be able to watch those credits & not hear you guys singing them, are we… :o)

  13. Hurray! I thought #5 might be late. I’ve recently grown sick of all the worlds music, so podcasts like this are keeping me sane during work. Thanks Wil!

  14. This was full of epic win!
    *I already posted a tweet before you asked
    *You only think Ferengi aren’t scarry because a. you aren’t a chick and b. one of them hasn’t posed as your friendly meighborhood dental hygenist[wracking shudder] or oral surgeon [steps into phaser fire]
    *I was thinking Cameo, Word Up withthe hands inthe air thing. Is it just me?

  15. This was a great episode! Thanks for doing it! A nice 20+ minutes diversion from work. πŸ˜‰
    Loved the bit about you and Spiner singing the theme song. Someone must have that on tape, right?
    I still don’t understand what happened with the Ferengi from conception to execution. Did someone get fired for that? Though, I did enjoy most of DS9, and what would that have been without Quark?
    I will try to get the book next week, ’cause this shit is funny!

  16. Great podcast. Again.
    In response to your plea at the end asking folks to blog and tweet about the new book’s release – would you be open to any quid pro quo?
    I know your busy, but my site gets 1,000+ unique Watchmen fans every day, and since I know you’re a big Watchmen fan, would you be open to a brief phone or email interview on the subject? I would post the interview prominently on the main site which would contain generous amounts of plugs for the new book.
    Regardless, I’ll tweet the release and post a thread about it in my forum, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to ask (since you asked). Thanks!

  17. Great podcast, as always! I’m really loving these and can’t wait for the book! The idea of you and Brent Spiner singing the TNG theme song made me giggle. Just one question: When you say “overHwhelming”, do you really say it that way, or is it a subtle nod to the TNG “Family Guy” episode? I noticed you said the word that exact same way on the Penny Arcade/PVP/You D&D Podcast (yes, I listen to that, too; you play and Eladrin, I play an Eladrin. It’s fun!). Maybe I’m just hearing things. Either way, it’s a nice little homage. I will definitely be tweeting about the book, soon! I hope you enjoy the release of the book along with everyone else!

  18. I am so glad that I came upon your blog and your book by chance recently. Memories of the Future is great so far. And no, I did not hate Wesley, he was the character I identified with, being similar age. I will totally promote and buy your book. Still need to figure out the options to buy it in Germany though.

  19. Wil, my wife and I are are enjoying your podcasts immensely and look forward to purchasing the book next week! We are both middle-aged geeks! Have been fans of Trek forever! Also look forward to your Big Bang Theory appearance (when???). Good luck on your most recent successes! Live long and prosper stuff!

  20. Anne is awesome! LOL
    I think most people get the “I’m kind of a big deal” joke.
    Curious: are you only going to be doing this for Season 1? Or just the first couple of seasons? Cuz you keep saying how the show got really good later on, which is true, but hopefully that won’t stop you from finding the humor and telling stories. I guess at some point (when you weren’t on the show anymore), it would be a little difficult to do the memoir part. But maybe you could get memories from the other actors…

  21. Wil, I’ve been showing TNG Season One to some friends of mine (and am still working through them on a weekly basis), and will be sharing your podcast with them and recommend your book to them when it comes out (I’ll also be ordering it myself).

  22. “With much shuddering and dimming of lights…”
    oh man, that made Kool-aid come out my nose….and any day that happens before noon is a GOOD day.

  23. OMG!!! LMAO!!!! Can I put in anymore abbreviations???? The “scary” Ferengi??? All I could do was picture them in the episode and couldn’t stop laughing. You are a genius Wil Wheaton!!!! I look forward to more podcasts and of course the book. Rock on crazy dude!!! (oops, I almost made a typo and called you a dud!) J/K- LOL. ( see I did get more abbrev. in!!!)

  24. Depending on sales and the all-important investment : return ratio, I plan to do at least 8 volumes, covering seasons 1-4.
    Obviously, if this book flops, that’s not going to happen, but I’m optimistic and hoping for the best.

  25. Please for the love of everything sacred and holy, don’t ever refer to anyone else as “dog.” I think that actually scared me more than the first time you broke out the Dad Voiceβ„’ on me.

  26. Great podcast! I am definitely going to pick up the book (and hopefully the future volumes as well!) Wesley Crusher wasn’t alone in wearing those bulky, textured sweaters in the late 80s — I had a green one that my classmates actually called my “Wesley sweater.” Oh, well.
    By the way, while I agree with all your points about the Ferengi, to be fair, I don’t think the series did a whole lot of “build up” beyond that line in the pilot implying they were cannibals. I do, however, remember Richard Arnold doing a lot of off-screen buildup at a local con I attended in the spring of ’86, saying the new villains were the reason the Federation and the Klingons became allies. He got a big round of applause from those of us in the hall. As you say, turns out, not so much. :-)

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