Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Seven

Futurecast700px-CHoly crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Three important things:

  1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
  2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.
  3. Did I mention that you can get your very own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One, right now, for $19.87, or as a $10 DRM-free PDF? Okay, just checking.

Episode Notes:

  • The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
  • This week's theme music is Shame of the Otaku (MP3 link, y'all changed the link to point at the song's lyrics page. Now iTunes subscribers should get the podcast), from MC Frontalot's sensational album Final Boss. It's used with permission, because Front is my BFF.
  • I have a seriously smooth, chocolately voice at the beginning. Man, I wish I sounded like that all the time … ladies.
  • This week, I feature an excerpt from episode 7 of TNG, Lonely Among Us, which gives me an opportunity to make a whole lot of references to Parliament Funkadelic. Ohhhh yeah.
  • Anne pointed out to me that I seem to have this horribly annoying verbal tic where I go, "and . . . um . . ." a whole lot. I was not aware of that, but now that I am, I am horrified, and vow to ensure that I don't do that in the future.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is almost 24 minutes this week. Get comfortable.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is 22.9 MB this week. Make room! Make room!
  • Memories of the Futurecast has wicked topspin.
  • Memories of the Futurecast wants you to go to w00tstock.
  • Memories of the Futurecast has a vest made from real gorilla chest.

Download Memories of the Futurecast, episode seven

Buy your own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One.

59 thoughts on “Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Seven”

  1. Whoa! Early? Very cool. This way I can listen while driving to work.
    I’d… er… noticed the “um” thing too, but was too shy to point it out. Good on Anne.
    That’s all I got! Off to work!

  2. Is the itunes download supposed to just be “Shame of the Otaku”? I thought my mac was freaking out, but when I was downloading episode 7 from itunes it’s just the 3:50 song (not the podcast). The directly download link works though, which is good enough for now. Hurray for Mondays!

  3. I always considered your podcasts more of a “stream of consciousness” thing than an audio book so any “ums” are perfectly fine.
    I’m glad you’re keeping these up, btw, because with all the postal delays in the UK at the moment, I have no idea when the book will actually arrive so thank you.

  4. Huzzah! I love these little podcasts, Wil. Thank you so much! Count me in as someone willing to pay full price for an audiobook version of Memories of the Futurecast! My fiance and I can’t wait to get a copy of the Fables book that you are doing the voice recording for…SO EXCITED!

  5. If this book is even remotely as good as the Futurecasts (which I suspect that it is), then I know that it’s going to kick some serious ass! I always knew you were funny, Wil, but Holy shit was I laughing my ass off at the Futurecasts! Literally “laughed until I cried” laughter. Even my one girlfriend who has never even seen one episode of Next Gen was laughing her ass off at Code of Honor. The 7-up guy impression you did almost killed her! God, I cannot wait until this book is in my hands. Brilliant job, Wil, this one’s gonna be a huge success!

  6. If you’re really bothered by the ‘um’s and ‘and’s, you might look into a local chapter of Toasmasters ( ). I sat in on a meeting once and they used bells that, when someone used a “verbal pause”, they would ring the bell to give you immediate feedback.

  7. Also chiming in to say the ‘um’s are neither annoying nor excessive. The podcast sounds like you just sat down to tell me a story extemporaneously, which is the feel I figured you were going for, and the ‘um’s fit well.

  8. Hey Wil,
    I don’t know what on the iTunes end, but it is not playing your episode, only the intro song in full. You may want to let them know, there is a problem.
    I did download the episode from your site, I can’t wait to listen to it in full.

  9. Extraordinary, sir. You make me want to re-watch the first season. Your perspective on the show is unique, your interpretation of the material is refreshing, and you, sir, are a funny guy, no question. Looking forward to your BBT ep with mucho gusto… rock on!

  10. Yes, I realize that I’ve broken the page. I’ve done it quite a few times now, which means that I probably shouldn’t be fucking around with html codes in the first place. Since this is a minor screw-up, there’s really no need to throw the handy dandy “It’s All Wil’s Fault!” card on the table and act as if I had nothing to do with breaking the page. That card is reserved for far more serious errors than a html malfunction. I take total ownership of breaking the page…again.

  11. Love the podcasts, Wil, they’re a great way to start the week. I honestly don’t even notice the and/ums… it just sounds very personable and conversational. I like it!
    On an unrelated note… d’you know if there’s any actual, legal way of watching your TBBT episode online after it airs tonight? Where I live, the only broadcast channel I’d be able to pick up if I bothered with an antenna is a religious channel, and when given a choice between paying for cable or satellite TV, and broadband internet, I chose the Internet. sucks balls and doesn’t post any full episodes, and they don’t seem to put the episodes up on Hulu, either. I WANT to be able to watch it with commercials, so they can get revenue and be able to, y’know, pay you and your fellow actors… but they’re making it damn hard for me to do so.
    Maybe now that you’re kind of a big thing over at CBS (as shown by your TBBT promo spot), you could whisper in some ears and point out the folly of their ways? Or, y’know, failing that, beat them around the head and shoulders with a +5 cluebat of smiting? Something.
    I, and the other fans, would all thank you. A lot. =)

  12. Excessive amounts of and…um-ing tend to bug me, but honestly, and I really do mean honestly, I didn’t notice it in these podcasts. Maybe because I was laughing too freakin’ hard the whole time.
    Or maybe because another reason I’ve found these so enjoyable to listen to besides the humor and the subject matter is that while they are professional, they are not overly polished.
    You’re being yourself, and just letting it happen as it happens, I assume, which makes these extra fun to listen to. I guess in this case, then, any extra verbage and and um-ing is going un-noticed by me. Thanks to Anne though for looking out for your listeners.

  13. I’ve listened to all of the Memories of the Futurecast and enjoyed them, but this one made me belly laugh!
    “That’s all I ever heard from people: ‘Wesley saved the day!’ – So that’s all you’re getting, bitches!”

  14. This was a wonderful way to start my day once I got the kids off to school. Coffee, PokerStars and Memories of the Futurecast is a wonderful way to set the tone. It is better than starting you day with Wheaties.
    I cannot wait till next week! Your reading of Justice at the Phoenix ComiCon is hilarious! I have listened to it at least a millionty-one times and almost die laughing each time.
    Have fun at w00tstock!

  15. I have that same “and…” nervous tick too. I didn’t notice it until I started podcasting too. Now, after listening to myself a few times, I’ve become hyper-critical of my own speaking style. I’ve noticed I tend to talk too fast and don’t take proper pauses, I say the word “like” way too often in most sentences (i.e. And I was like, seriously happy) and there’s the ever present “um” too.
    I think you’re actually a really good speaker. I admire your ability at storytelling, and your vocal inflections are really entertaining to listen to. They heighten just the right moments of the stories. I didn’t even notice your “Um’s”.

  16. Not only is there a nice new podcast, but I checked my mail and the new Wil Wheaton book’s here! The new Wil Wheaton book’s here! I’m SOMEBODY!
    So the schedule for the rest of the day/evening is:
    Listen to podcast, while following along in book
    Read book
    Try to simultaneously read book and watch BBT
    Re-read section of book I tried to read during BBT
    Continue reading book
    Tomorrow or so:
    Re-watch BBT I tried to watch while reading book
    (I was going to abbreviate the book’s title, but would that be MOTF? Or, since you don’t usually include the “of”s and “the”s in those acronyms… just “MF?”)
    (Seemed wrong.)
    Time to shut up and read…

  17. 5:10pm and still playing that song. Not a bad song, but I really was looking forward to hearing Wil on my way home tonight! Guess I will have to wait until I get home. boo.

  18. okay first: who broke the page? lol
    second: I GOT MY BOOK TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *ahem*
    ummmm, i don’t really have a third.
    *wanders off to find a rice krispie treat to eat whilst listening to episode seven*

  19. Awesome! You really need to release these out as an audiobook.
    I just finished listening to Just A Geek last week, and the previous Futurecasts this morning. You’re an excellent writer, but I much prefer your performances on audio. They feel so much more lively, more personal than words on the page.
    If you are up for a project suggestion.
    I think you should produce a Geek version of A Prairie Home Companion with yourself in place of the great Mr. Keillor. I realize that something such as this would be truly a massive undertaking, but I’m certain that I’m not alone in thinking it would be a totally amazing show. Who else is with me?
    Thanks again for your brilliant stories. I can’t wait for my book to arrive.

  20. LMAO, this BBT episode is funny as shit so far. “Okay Raj, it looks like you’re teamed up with ‘Die, Wil Wheaton, die!'” I’m having a geekasm. Literally.

  21. Just wanted to post that I got my copy of the book today. And finished it today. (I devour books. Really. This time with a little salt.) I could hear your voice reading the book to me, and I laughed many, many times reading it. So, when can we expect Volume 2?

  22. Actually, you know what? Strike that. I really want to know when the limited edition, leather-bound set, lovingly handcrafted by the author himself, complete with 8 disc audiobook compilation, complete with commentary by the cast, crew, and (of course) those oh-so-lovely sweaters that marked Wesley as the harbinger of the apocalypse, comes out. (And not the Harbinger of Apocalypse, which would have been MUCH cooler.)

  23. Hopefully I just fixed the code break πŸ˜‰ (ATTA!)
    I got an email earlier this evening saying my order shipped. That means I should be getting it by the end of the week. If I got it on Thursday I would be very happy, because I can then listen to all the current podcasts and read along :)
    Wil, I still think you should continue beyond Book 8 by doing “Epilogue of the Future”, which would cover all the episodes of TNG you did after you left in Season 4. I know that’s not many, but I still think it would “tie up” Wesley’s story within TNG … especially since you never showed up in any of the movies.

  24. Hey, you know what? That’s just crazy enough to work! That one is definitely going into the Bottomless Bag of Tricks. I haven’t used said BBoT since the night I got so inebriated that I picked a fight with Wil and insulted his manhood, amongst some other really douchebaggy behavior on my part. But shit, if I can blame typepad for my acting like a total dick and breaking the page, then make it so, Number One!

  25. It is currently almost 3pm Eastern, and iTunes is still showing the wrong thing. I was just going to listen to the podcast on my way home from work (yay for early days!), and instead of getting Wil Wheatoney goodness, I got MC Frontalot for 3:50 minutes. There are, of course, worse things to suffer, but it wasn’t what I’d had in mind. I figured, surely, the download had cut off prematurely, or iTunes had a momentary glitch yesterday when I got it, so I went and downloaded it again, to no avail. I shall have to get it from here instead, now that I am home.

  26. I don’t find it to be an annoying tic. It’s just part of who you are and makes the whole thing that much more Wil Wheaton. Also, hearing your voice and your stories gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling — kind of like a phone call from an old friend I’d forgotten I missed.

  27. Goddammit, these podcasts are funny; perhaps the best commercial and accompaniment you could have for the book(s). You’re like a gentle version of Harlan Ellison (in his critiques of TOS). Thanks for casts and the book from someone who grew up on all the series (except for Enterprise). Perhaps we’ll see you do a crossover someday and show up on Stargate Universe.

  28. That was hysterical! The “and… um…” thing is a little distracting. But you’re just so darn funny that it’s only distracting sometimes. And only a little. I now have a reason to look forward to Monday!

  29. I know what happened: I linked to Frontalot’s song on his site, and iTunes must have through the mp3 file was the podcast. That’s why you can get it directly, but not if you subscribe in iTunes.
    Silly computers.

  30. I honestly didn’t even notice and of the “verbal pauses”… Until you mentioned it at the end, and even then I still missed it… Tho I’m typing school notes at the same time.
    I hope there is a way to fix the podcast for my iTunes so that it updates to the real one instead of just the song… :)
    Thank you for a great podcast! πŸ˜€

  31. Dear Wil,
    Just received (and read) your book today and have two THREE questions.
    1. When can we expect Memories of the Future, Volume 2: The Wrath of Armus?
    B. If sales are strong enough, will you continue this project through the good seasons?
    Ξ“. Between the print and .pdf formats, which garners you the greater check?

  32. Answers:
    Ο€. Next year. I have not announced a definitive date, even though I have a target in my calendar.
    βˆ†. I plan to go all the way until I left the show. I may wrap up highlights from the post-departure seasons, including the few episodes I returned for.
    ß. That would be telling.

  33. Wil,
    I just finished reading my copy of Memories of the Future. I had promised myself that I was going to read this book without making extraneous sounds. And I got through the first episiode recap just fine – learning the style, thinking about the criticisms, smiling at the snark. Then I hit the second one. By the fourth one, I had to put the book away because I was on the subway and people were starting to give me room on a crowded car because of my maniacal cackle. I’m still smiling about it.
    I wanted particularly to express my deep and undying admiration for your reference to “Ensign Ed Gruberman” – not only because that comment is what I think of every time I hear the word patience, but because I couldn’t believe I was seeing such a reference in print. I actually smacked the subway pole in disbelief and said, out loud on the 6 train, “he knows about Ed Gruberman? God, I’m in love with Wil Wheaton.” (This got my husband to agree to listen to the sketch.)
    Thanks so much.

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