don’t blame the sweet and tender hooligan

Did I mention that I turned in Angel One to my editor last week? That means that this week, I'm working on what was commonly called "one oh one oh one oh one oh one oh one" by my friends on TNG. It's also known as The One With The Bynars, and I recall thinking that it was pretty good. I loved working on it, but until I watch it later today, I don't remember exactly why.

Some people have asked me how I put these things together, but I never know exactly how the memories will shake loose for me while I'm watching it. There are some things I remember clearly, like Jonathan crashing into the turbolift doors on the bridge, and then there are others that I haven't thought about in years, that hit me like one of those snowballs Wesley Crusher threw out of the holodeck at Captain Picard – like the time Lawrence Tierney scared the shit out of me just outside stage 16 while we were filming The Big Goodbye. I plan to spend more time with my friends from the cast and crew while I work on Volume Two than I did with Volume One, mostly because it's a great excuse to get together with people I like, but also because I love the Roshomon-like experience of sharing our memories of the future. For example, when I was talking with Brent about The Big Goodbye, he remembered that Lawrence Tierney showed up for work his first day, and for some reason, rather than waiting for the guard on Melrose to open the gate, drove his car right through it. When Brent told me that, I remembered it like it had just happened, but it was something I hadn't thought about in ages. Incidentally, Brent told me that everyone was as scared of Lawrence Tierney as I was, which surprised me.

I'm excited to dig into the second half of the season, mostly because the Memories of the Futurecasts have been so much fun, and have been so well-received by so many people, that I feel inspired and energized. I'm not going to lie to you, Marge, some of the episodes in Volume One were a real slog and not much fun at all, and I think that unfortunately comes through in those chapters. Now that I know how much at least a few thousand people (and hopefully more) want to read Volume Two, I can't wait to see what I can come up with.

Okay, some business that needs attention before I get to work:

Have you caught a typo or formatting error in Memories of the Future, Volume One? If you have, would you please leave the page and paragraph number in a comment on this entry? I'm going to do an ePub version (Lulu now supports that, in addition to PDF) … so I'd like to repair any mistakes before I do the conversion.

Would you be interested in a limited edition, signed and numbered hardback, similar to what I did with Happiest Days of Our Lives? I ask because it's going to cost me a not-insignificant amount of money to make them, and I kind of need to know that it's even something people are interested in. It would be $50 like the other one.

Speaking of The Happiest Days of Our Lives: everyone who pre-ordered from Subterranean Press and is getting antsy because they've waited so long deserves a big apology from me. A couple of things happened while we were putting the book together which were not my fault (OpenOffice and MSOffice not playing nicely was a significant setback for the timetable) but the latest delay is squarely on my shoulders. I've been working my way through just over 2000 signature sheets for several weeks. I've only had time to work on a 100 or so a day until last week, because I just didn't have any other time in my schedule. This has worked out pretty well for the final product, because my signature starts to break down after about 200 pages, but it's increased the wait quite a bit. The good news is that I have about 400 left, and I'm doing them in two sessions today. They'll be sent off to Subterranean Press tomorrow, so the book can go to press and get into your hands real quick. Oh, did I mention that this wait has allowed me to secure a pretty awesome Afterword from my son Ryan? I couldn't be happier about that.

Finally, if you've written or seen a review of Memories of the Future, Volume One, would you leave a link in the comments here? I'd like to collect them all together and share them in a post later this week.

Okay, that's it. If you haven't heard this week's Futurecast, you should be able to get it in the usual way, or you can go to and pick it up directly.

76 thoughts on “don’t blame the sweet and tender hooligan”

  1. The name of the place is Farpoint Station, just like Heathrow Airport or Marina del Rey.
    As for Mama Cass, that was my suggestion; Wil had something else that he can share if he chooses, but I thought it was unlikely to be in the zeitgeist a decade from now. And, like it or not, the legend has far outstripped the truth on this one.

  2. I’d absolutely buy a limited edition hardcover of Memories. It can sit next to #67 of HDOOL on my bookshelf. But yeah, I would agree with Jeremy that doing the same for separate hardcovers of all six (I hope!) installments of Memories might be pushing your luck just a bit.

  3. Okay, two things:
    1. I’d love a MOTF signature edition and I’m pretty sure I’d buy all 14 volumes once they are out. (How’s that for pressure?)
    2. I love the Futurecast, and it makes me go ‘OMG this episode can’t be as weird/awful/wonderful/generic_emotion as he describes it’, only to go back, watch the thing, and realize that, yes, it is exactly the way you lay it out for us. Which makes me like it all the more because it makes me feel more connected to the show in a way that only shared childhood (or teenhood, to be exact) memories can provide.
    Thank you for that, and for making me feel more and less of a geek at the same time.

  4. Interesting you mentioned TNG. I was downloading Big Bang Theory on iTunes and the description for the Creepy Candy Coating Corollary is “While Sheldon settles a score with his nemesis, Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Wil Wheaton…”
    Although I grew up watching TNG, and you’re only a few years older than me but I relate to you as a geek and a blogger first. Your writings, geek antics and different characters on TV just seem to make you more a whole person in a creative sense.

  5. re: typos, the one that really made me wince was on page 34, para 2: “Tasha’s marshal arts”. I did check to see if was some weird Americanism of martial I’d not seen before, but I think not.

  6. Wil — I love the book and the podcast! Such awesome stuff. I will look forward to your take on “11001001.” It was never my personal favorite, although (1) who can’t help but fall in love with Minuet? and (2) I do hope you will make all the fun of Picard’s “personal relaxation light” comment that it deserves. That’s even worse than Riker’s harpist fetish, iny my opinion.
    I haven’t caught typos in the book, but I have wondered: what’s with the marginal numbers? Is it meant to make the book like an LCARS display (he asked, nerdily?), or is there some deeper significance I’m missing? (I.E., is it pure communication, beyond our comprehension? Maybe you’re just singing to that man…)
    Thanks for all you do!

  7. Re: Farpoint, that was pretty much my point–the instance I mentioned was inconsistent with the other appearances of the term. I should have been clearer.

  8. Oh yes, Minuet, Riker’s holodeck dream woman. That is, until Picard barged his way into the holodeck in the form of a big old raging cock blocking device. That was a pretty good episode. I just recently caught it in a rerun on my local CW affiliate channel and was surprised at how young Carolyn McCormick was in that episode. And don’t even get me started about pre-bearded Jonathan Frakes! I was completely jealous of Minuet, and really hated Genie Francis’ guts back then. Freaking Laura Spencer…lol. I got over it once I had moved on to Brent Spiner somewhere around the end of Season One and the beginning of Season Two.

  9. I haven’t noticed any flaws in my copy of the book, and I’m totally not going to drive myself even crazier looking for one, either. And while I did sort of write a review of it while I was saving it on my book shelf on my MSN profile (before you look down your nose at me for having an MSN profile, let me just state for the record that it came with the package for my ISP), it’s really not all that impressive or flattering of a review. I believe it went something along the lines of this:
    Why I love this book: Because it’s really funny. Plus, the author’s a pretty nice guy.
    So yeah. Not a very descriptive review. One of my Pre-K students could have written it. But you certainly can let it slide because of the whole fornicating with chickens parallel you oh so colorfully drew when you were re-grading your review for Haven. So I’ll just insert a monkey smiley face sticker and a check plus on my own review for MotF: Vol. 1 and just call it even, deal?

  10. ::Channeling Elaine:: GET OUT!! You have got to be shitting me about him doing that to Jerry Seinfeld! LOL. I’m sorry, but the mental image of that alone is funnier than the entire run of that series, which was (and still is) an extremely funny show.

  11. I find a few errors. If some were already mentioned I apologize.
    One that I didn’t catch until the end and happens quite a bit throughout the book (so for this, I think best bet would be to ctrl+f and then replace all) is you switch back and forth between spelling dialog this way or dialogue, including going back and forth for the Quotable Dialog/ue section.
    p11, last paragraph, last sentence The fabric
    p12, 3rd, 4th sentence, Over shared
    p17, 3rd, 2nd, Zorn,
    p26, last, last, dispute.
    p52, 3rd, 1st, Riker and
    p59 is just me being anal about physics and it is blown out into space and not sucked out but again that is just me being a nerd and really really into science and stuff
    Also incongruent spelling of Daimon. When the Ferengi are first introduced, you spell is Daimon and then later during “The Battle” you spell it DaiMon.
    And I decided after all I would review the book. I think this was the most conflicted I have ever been about writing a review and one of the hardest I will ever have to write.
    I almost deleted it a few times *sigh*

  12. “As for Mama Cass, that was my suggestion; Wil had something else that he can share if he chooses, but I thought it was unlikely to be in the zeitgeist a decade from now. And, like it or not, the legend has far outstripped the truth on this one.”
    So are you suggesting perpetuating the legend at the cost of the truth? I don’t think that’s what the screenwriter of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence had in mind when he wrote this:
    “When the legend becomes truth, print the legend.”
    Or you could just go to Wikipedia and type in Mama Cass.

  13. PSA: do not listen to them while eating or drinking as this may cause you to choke or spew stuff all over your computer.
    Why did I feel like you were speaking directly at me during this part of the review? Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I killed an optical mouse a couple of weeks ago while drinking coffee and reading MotF while listening to a Futurecast? LOL
    Excellent review, Jules. I really enjoyed the fact that you prefaced your review by conveying how much TNG and Wesley Crusher meant to you on a personal level before you dove into the pool, so to speak. And you described Wil’s tendencies to “break the fourth wall” a hell of a lot better than I ever could. I’ve always said that Wil is generous to his readers during those moments because you really do feel as if he’s invited you into a conversation in which he shares some really personal and intimate details as he recounts certain memories. He not only exposes certain vulnerabilities to us, he confronts them head-on, pokes fun at them and goes right back into the narrative. It’s this unique perspective that makes me such a huge fan of his work.
    Well gee, look at what I’ve gone and done. I’ve done a review of your review and threw in my own two cents. Sorry about that! Seriously, though, wonderful exegesis of MotF. And yes, I’m working on correcting that negligent self-deprivation of a certain film full of awesome and win, I swear!

  14. LOL no need to be sorry Danyiel.
    You know, you can leave comments on my site as well 😛
    I am really happy you liked my review. That is probably one of the hardest reviews I will ever have to write for many different reasons.

  15. Schedule change! Here we go, leaving out items noted by others:
    General: sometimes locations on the ship are capitalized (Engineering, 26–4–4; the Bridge, 84–5–1) and other times they’re in lower case (engineering, 60–1–3; the bridge, 8–3–2). For what it’s worth, “Engineering” and “the bridge” look like the most common usages in the text.
    25–1–1: Air date shown with day of month as single digit (October 5), but two later chapters both use two digits (November 02 on 66–1–1 and November 09 on 74–1–1)
    26–4–5: “repulser” here but “repulsor” in Obligatory Technobabble on pg. 30
    50–1–4: “Tarr” s/b “Taar”
    51–4–5: “Enterprise” s/b in italics
    52–2–6: “crystalline tree looking thing” s/b “crystalline tree-looking thing”
    52–5–4: “Enterprise” s/b in italics
    55–3–1: “However, If” s/b “However, if”
    61–5–1 and ff: “Traveller” s/b “Traveler” (per The Star Trek Encyclopedia, Updated and Expanded Edition, 1999)
    61–6–6: “Mozart (Wait. What?)” s/b “Mozart. (Wait. What?)”
    69–2–9: “bar-mitzvahs” s/b “bar mitzvahs” (per a friend whose son is having his)
    73–1–3: “we ever did.)” s/b “we ever did).”
    74–5–3/4: “longest running” s/b “longest-running”
    76–2–6: “Latinum” s/b “latinum”
    80–2–8: “drive in” s/b “drive-in”
    80: in Quotable Dialog, “…also…” in bold looks like part of the dialog
    81: in Obligatory Technobabble, line 1, “babble sir” s/b “babble, sir” in both appearances
    87–4–6/7: “useless one dimensional” s/b “useless one-dimensional”
    90–3–4/5: double closing quotes at beginning of line 5 belong immediately after the single closing quote at end of line 4
    91: in Behind the Scenes Memory, last two lines, “long range” s/b “long-range”
    97–3–6 and ff: ellipses had previously appeared in the format “rolls… but” (no space before the ellipsis, one space after), but from here on, the format is “rolls … but” (a one space both before and after the ellipsis)
    97–4–10: “TNG” s/b italics (previous usage)
    102–4–5: “dual moons but it” s/b “dual moons, but it”
    103–2–10: “Powerpoint” s/b “PowerPoint”
    More in next comment…

  16. Last batch:
    106–4: drinking game sequence, lines 4 through 6: “Earth (Drink!) The Tarellians” s/b “Earth (drink!). The Tarellians”; “World War II (drink!) One” s/b “World War II (drink!). One” or with exclamation points instead of periods following the closing parentheses
    109–3–3: “head dress” s/b “headdress”
    119–1–3: “all you can eat Vicodin and Red Bull party” s/b “all-you-can-eat Vicodin-and-Red Bull party”. And should I ask why the only famous names used in such negative similes belong to women with what you might call notable problems?
    120–11–3: “to the Trek universe. I” s/b “to the Trek universe, I”
    123–4–2: “hollowed out area” s/b “hollowed-out area”
    126–4–4: “Enterprise” s/b in italics
    134: looks like an overzealous page break kept 2-3 lines from filling in the bottom of the page
    I hope this helps.

  17. I would for sure be interested in a signed version of MotF with extra content! That will not stop me from buying the original MotF from you in person though.
    I just bought my Phoenix ComiCon tickets last night and am planning on coming with lots of green pieces of paper to trade because it’s always a pleasure getting your books directly from you. I actually refuse to order Dancing Barefoot from Amazon because of this. I bought 2 other books from you last time, but managed to forget Dancing Barefoot. Hopefully we can rectify this in May?

  18. I am loving MotFC I would really like an audiobook working on the audiobook of Just as Geek right now and really Wil it is worth your energy! Now I have to take TNG Season 1 out and syn it up with Memories of the Futurecast. The binars kick ass!

  19. Hey, Wil. One small edit note I noticed in MotF1 I haven’t seen mentioned yet.
    41 – 4 – Quotable Dialogue not in script format.
    That’s it so far. I got the book & the Season 1 DVDs for my birthday, and they go great together. Thanks for writing the book!

  20. I found a couple of places where you have an extra space before a period:
    Last line in page 26: “some dispute . Once” should be “some dispute. Once”
    Page 53, second paragraph: “the bridge . Holding” should be “the bridge. Holding”

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