Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Nine

Futurecast700px-CHoly crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Three important things:

  1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
  2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.
  3. Did I mention that you can get your very own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One, right now, for $19.87, or as a $10 DRM-free PDF? Okay, just checking.

Episode Notes:

  • The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
  • Our theme music this week is Harvey Danger's Wine, Women and Song, from their third album Little by Little. HD has made the entire album available for download, for free, from their website. I think it's worth paying for, though, so toss some coins their way if you agree.
  • This week's show features THE BATTLE (or, "What's that Rattle? It's a Ferengi exacting his blood revenge.")
  • Memories of the Futurecast finally grew up and moved into its own apartment. From now on, you can find new episodes at It probably won't work for a couple of days, but should be working by Wednesday at the latest. 
  • Single! Turgid! Episode!
  • Memories of the Futurecast has its own Podcast feed, too! For your convenience (and great justice) you can get your podcast fetcher-o-doodle and stick into it.
  • This is the last full episode that I'll post here at WWdN:iX, so subscribe or bookmark or tattoo the new URL if you don't want to miss a 
  • Memories of the Futurecast takes the A train.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is 12.4 MB this week.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is 26 minutes long this week.
  • Memories of the Futurecast wonders if anyone even reads the shownotes it works so hard to write.
  • Memories of the Futurecast gets busy … sometimes.

Okay enough notes! Let's get to business:

Download Memories of the Futurecast Episode Nine

60 thoughts on “Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Nine”

  1. Memories of the Futurecast will be pleased to know that some of us do actually read the shownotes… and enjoy them.
    Memories of the Futurecast should also know that the jpeg in the post is broken.

  2. Oh, yes, we read the shownotes. And, as soon as we see the Memories of the Futurecast blog post show up in our RSS reader, we make sure iTunes fetches it, and sync the iPod, so we can listen to it in the car on our way to Rock Band Night.
    We also seem to have a problem with writing in the correct person.

  3. Excellent, I read this in the book yesterday while watching the episode and hearing the podcast with your enthusiasm and the voices just adds another dimension.
    Thanks a lot for keeping these up.
    I also created a syndication for the futurecast feed on Livejournal:

  4. Hey Wil…I know I’ve written this before and I know you’ve heard it from many people, but that person who wrote to you was right…not everyone hated Wesley and a lot of us loved the character! Sorry you didn’t get that affirmation when you were younger, but hopefully it helps to hear it now.

  5. I always read the notes too!! Every Monday, looking forward to this podcast actually makes me cheerful all day at work (I’m in York, so it’s usually up after I close the shop). I forgot to say when you asked before, I’d be over the moon if you did this as an audiobook. I also loved Wesley when I was growing up; I even got a Starfleet Acadamy class ring to be like him! And then he didn’t graduate. I was like, “Crap.”

  6. Wil,
    My copy of Sunken Treasure finally arrived this week, after it’s mammoth journey across the Atlantic. I’m almost finished reading it and, if you must know, it worked as a hook to get me into your writing, so job done there. I will be buying Memories of the Future (really enjoying the futurecasts by the way) but being a bluff old traditionalist I will be ordering a paper copy. For me, there’s just something about a book that an electronic device can never top and I don’t mind paying the extra $9 or waiting for it to cross the pond.

  7. Tell Memories that we read (and appreciate) the show notes before we get the show itself from Google Listen. Sounds to me like Memories of the Futurecast needs a hug….

  8. Memories of the Futurecast’s got a lot of stuff it’s gotta think about…
    I definitely read the shownotes Memories of the Futurecast works so hard to write! They crack me up.
    Wesley Crusher was sometimes annoying in the earlier seasons, I admit. Mostly it was those horrible sweaters. Heh. And never did I feel such rage that you describe being directed your way.
    I mean, yeah, a character can sometimes be a prat, but jeez. He wasn’t that bad, even in this episode, and as the seasons progressed, Wesley Crusher ceased to be annoying, especially once the sweaters were gone.
    Just remember what Jessica Rabbit says: “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”
    Wesley wasn’t bad, he was just written that way–in those episodes, anyway.
    Have you read this? It’s a very sweet homage to Star Trek NG and Wesley Crusher in particular.
    Oh, and the slow clap? I may have participated in a few, jokingly, but never purposefully to be a jerk, and, the only ones like that I’ve only seen in movies and tv shows.

  9. I thought the character almost necessary, on the one hand, to maintain a continuity, with the idea of “academy” (Roddenberry started out serializing “West Point Stories”) and on the other hand…”there are fingers” (Steven Wright) to have some other place for kindly interaction in the story, i.e., with “Mom” Dr. Crusher with whom there was some romantic “subtext” with the captain, Jean-Luc Picard so the story wouldn’t turn into an epic “space opera”.

  10. I’ll tell you what Wil, the analysis of the Wesley hating is fascinating. You see, I was a teen and came into TNG late. I loved Wesley. He wasn’t unlike me, and yet here he was on the bridge of the freaking STARSHIP, an equal to the cool grownups. Grownups were always more cool on Star Trek. Anyway, I remember being horrified when I found my first Trek message board (Prodigy baby!) and everyone hated Wes.
    I had missed the bad introduction. It was years before I caught the first few seasons in reruns, and by then my impressions were already set, Wes was cool, Data didn’t use contractions (except when he did), and the Ferengi were the comedic relief. There certainly must be a lot to your analysis here. I wonder if I’d feel the same way had I watched in order from the start?

  11. Show notes for podcasts are a lot like liner notes for albums. Some you read because they’re going to be fun, interesting, and insightful. Some you read because you have great respect for the artists and want to know what that wild instrument was in Kutiman’s “Mother Of All Funk Chords.”
    Some you skip because that particular band hasn’t ever had anything more intelligent than “Copyright © 1986, Enlightened Kitty Music, ASCAP. All rights reserved.”
    Wil—I’m happy to say you’re in the category of, “Yeah…let’s see what Wil’s got on his mind.”
    [Bonus points for anyone who works out who “Enlightened Kitty” is the publisher for.]

  12. I was hoping my copy of MotF would be here by today’s episode. Alas it is not. I am starting to get worried that it is lost as it has been a few weeks now since they shipped it and I chose the shipping option with no tracking /fail
    As much as I understand where you are coming from with the Wesley bashing I don’t think I will ever stop recoiling when I hear it. As others have already said and as I had to say in my own book, as Star Trek and Wesley in particular got me through many periods in my life because I finally had something relatible, I was Wesley growing up. I never heard Wesley being bashed until you bashed Wesley. Maybe that has to do with growing up very rurally and being the lone uber geek and never being teased by my peers for being a geek. They accepted it. My family is another story.
    What I got and continue to get from people who do not understand the awesome that is Trek “aww it’s so cute how much you like Star Trek” or “aww you still haven’t outgrown Star Trek, how cute.” On the other hand, I think it is awesome that you are able to poke fun at something that for a long time was a source of pain. Kudos. And I of course realize you are not meaning to poke at others who relate to the character.

  13. I still think that even after all these years, D.C. Fontana needs to come here and frakking publicly apologize.
    It’s one thing to be on a panel about solving the “Wesley problem” – it’s another to participate in bullying a teenage kid. Yeah D.C., become a better writer, problem solved.
    In any other business, she would have been frakking fired, slapped with restraining orders, the whole bit.
    So D.C., if you’re reading this, (which I doubt), grow a pair and apologize. Wil was probably a little jerk back then. And ya know what? What teenager isn’t? You were the adult, you bullied him and publicly blamed him for your own lack of talent, and you need to frakking own up and apologize. What you did was abuse and harassment, and in no culture I know of is it acceptable behavior.
    Sorry, I had a spleen problem in ur blogs.

  14. This might have been answered before, but is the book available in bookstores, or only on the “Lulu” page? Because there are a couple indie sci-fi bookshops I like to shop at here in the Twin Cities.

  15. I never joined the “I hate Wesley” band wagon. I was completely oblivious to the fact that others may have found him annoying until I read about how many fans gave you a hard time on your blog. I always kind of indentified with Wesley. He was intelligent, creative (in his own way)and he suffered from the same inability to comfortably fit in with the people around him that I did.
    I did watch the show from the beginning and I will admit, the writers did a horrible job with Welsey’s dialogue but it was never bad enough to make me contemplate turning it off. Even with the lines that I would much rather forget, Wesley Crusher was still one of the most memorable characters for me when I was growing up.

  16. From the FAQ in the post announcing the book’s release:
    Q: Will this be in regular bookstores?
    A: Probably not. I’m an indie publisher with razor-thin margins, and since the vast majority of my customers are online, it just doesn’t make sense to end up with a few cents on the dollar per sale, which is what would happen if I were to get this distributed into bookstores. I’ve blogged extensively about how and why I publish the way that I do. If I can find the links to those posts, I’ll add them here.

  17. Awww! While I was listening to this episode, that Jessica Rabbit quote popped into my mind! I was going to post it myself, but read other comments, first.
    Wesley was a really great part of the show. Sometimes, he was written so poorly, that it was fun to make fun of him; Sometimes, he was an interesting, well-rounded character. I recently rewatched the entire series from episode 1 to 176 (Took a few weeks), and as soon as Wesley became a “reoccurring character,” there was a pretty big part of me that was just sad.
    And I’ve always wanted to be part of a slow clap.

  18. Oh yes, that made me spit-take when I read it. Even more so that no one in the audience thought to stand up and say “hey, *you’re* the writer, you fix this Wesley ‘problem'”. I mean, honestly, what did they expect the outcome of that panel to be? IMHO, it was plan, simple, indefensible bullying on the part of the con and I admire Wil for going along and defending himself. Though I’d probably have walked out in disgust waaaay before that.

  19. I don’t know if it’s a little too fan-fic-y, but I’m really tempted to sit down and edit the first season into something that has decent dialogue and… well… scripts. It’s just those little “what if” moments that come from reading MotFI. What if Wes had been written better? What if Worf, Tasha and Troi had more to do? What if the Ferengi, as Wil mentioned in the book, were more like the Reavers in Firefly than… not? What if ST:TNG had grabbed us from the start like BSG and not let go until the end credits? Dammit, it’s just too tempting. After NaNoWriMo, perhaps.

  20. Your comments about Patrick Stewart’s work with this episode reminded me of this bit from a Roger Ebert review of Star Trek: Nemesis:
    “Patrick Stewart, as Capt. Picard, is a wonderful actor. I
    know because I have seen him elsewhere. It is always said of
    Stewart that his strength as an actor is his ability to
    deliver bad dialogue with utter conviction. I say it is time
    to stop encouraging him. Here’s an idea: Instead of giving
    him bad dialogue, why not give him good dialogue, and see
    what he can do with that?”

  21. Wil, I never read the notes because I am far, far too busy to learn the names of the awesome bands, or the episode length, or whether anything/anyone gets busy.
    And the only thing about Wesley I really hated were the rainbow racing stripes around his shoulder pads. I just…really hated that. A lot.

  22. I have to admire your candour in reviewing these episodes Wil. To be able to acknowledge the bad writing (which is absolutely no reflection on your performance)is to your credit.
    Stuff like barging onto the bridge is what turned me and my mates away from the character of Wesley. Even though we were teenagers ourselves maybe it annoyed us because we were fans of FASA’s Trek rpg and the whole ‘chain of command’ concept was important to us. But even as teenagers we realised that the true culprits for Wesley’s bad dialogue and annoying actions were the writers themselves.

  23. After listening to the futurecasts and watching the episodes, I am not exactly sure whether you are mad with the character Wes, or your portrayal of him. If its the former, well, like everyone says, the writing for the part is poor. Sure, he’s a pompous teenage genius, but breaking protocol and breaking the chain of command when you can make such a difference around the ship and everyone sees you as an afterthought is probably very appropriate. But I see the writing of the first season so far (through episode 11) as a big “I heart Wesley Crusher” fan club aboard the Enterprise.
    If it is really your portrayal of him, well, I can’t tell when you do because the writing is so clunky for him. It’s not likely that anyone else in the role would have done any better to appeal to the fans.
    Hell, even the sweaters that you seem to be bugged about aren’t that bad, considering the show was filmed beginning in the 80s and into the 90s. They aren’t popular now, but back then, they were stylish. However, I guess a point could be made that in the 24th century, one would expect to have more futuristic threads for sweaters and the like. But even then, I don’t see you minding the blue button-up sweater Gates McFadden wears in nearly every episode, so that’s a stretch too.

  24. This is the last full episode that I’ll post here at WWdN:iX…
    Fair ’nuff.
    Will you at least send out a reminder ping here or via Twitter that points to new episodes?
    Oh, and shownotes are the +2 to my Charmed Earbuds.

  25. At the moment, you can only order the book online via Lulu. I'd like to find a way to put it into stores some day, but the costs associated with distribution are currently just too high to make it worth the effort.

  26. Yeah, I'll link to the new site as soon as DNS does its thing, and I'll make sure that I announce the new episodes until people get used to them being in a new place.

  27. Heh, that’s totally the royalty-free guitar music from iLife. We used the same song for our honeymoon slideshow, which we ended up showing to people a thoooooousand times.
    Loving the book btw. *thumbs up*

  28. I thought it warranted mentioning that the site is up and functional, in case I’m the only one that is diligent enough to check. (probably not)

  29. I have to be honest about how much more fun it is to listen to the Futurecasts with MotF as a companion, so to speak. I always knew you were funny, Wil, but this book has seriously brought teh hilarity to a whole new level! Friends of mine who aren’t even into Star Trek have been listening to the Futurecasts and now they’re talking about actually watching Next Gen, so you’re bringing in a whole new audience, 22 years later. How awesome is that? Totally so full of incredible amounts of WIN!

  30. Hee. A little bit persnickity about Acting Ensign Crusher’s gay pride spacesuit, are we? During the show’s original run, I never really took notice of how demeaning that uniform truly was for some reason. It wasn’t until the show had gone into reruns that I thought “Oh God, that poor kid, having to wear that goofy looking uniform!” I was glad that they had him in the all grey uniform in Season Two. I believe it was modeled after West Point Military Academy’s uniform at that time, but don’t quote me on it.

  31. FYI: Wil, instead of your Futurecast Episode 7, your feed has a snappy little music number. While your eps ARE toe-tappingly fantastic, this *might* not be exactly what you intended.
    Keep up the great work.

  32. Hey wil,I just tried to download the new podcasts. I did get Memories of the Futurecast (with the episode 7 issue), but Radio Free Burrito only downloaded Episode 6 through 13.
    Just wanted to let you know. Thanks for the new set up

  33. Hey Wil. First off, I’d like to ask you to stop talking about Ferengis having huge wangs and things being shoved up Wesley’s ass. It keeps dredging up awful memories of a particularly disturbing piece of slash fiction that involved Wesley finding out exactly how big a Ferengi wang is, and… I’m not gonna say anything else until you get me a therapist and some dolls.
    I was also a Wesley fan btw. Never really got what all the hatred about him was back then. I guess I looked up to him as a kid. Or maybe I was just as annoying as he was? I better go call my parents and ask ’em… on second thought, let’s not. It was the role model thing, yeah.
    As for country music not fitting science fiction? Dude, you should be careful saying things like that. It’s like walking into an Alliance-friendly bar, on U-day, wearing a brown coat… You better have a getaway spaceship nearby.
    “Because knowing is half the battle. And half The Battle is about all you can sit through”… Ahahaha, classic Wheaton.

  34. For some reason, right as you ended the excerpt, I almost felt it was going to be another episode of Car Talk (because of the music). I don’t feel like I’ve wasted another perfectly good 26 minutes though.
    Although, a spoof of Car Talk set in the Star Trek universe might be fun to listen to.

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