Nicolas Cage has a FEVER and the only cure is more pachinko

One of my great regrets is that, when I was super famous (back in the Swatches-on-jacket years), I didn't get to do one of these bizarre Japanese commercials. I think I would have been the most number one super terrific selling power in the entire prefecture for surprise time.

38 thoughts on “Nicolas Cage has a FEVER and the only cure is more pachinko”

  1. hahaha!! I can so see you doing one of these commercials. What the heck happened to good commercials anyway??? Substitute the truck and cowboy clothes for a spaceship and trek uniform and there you have it. This was great..thanks Wil:)

  2. Ah… Nick Cage… I don’t even know what to say about this except it was both awesome and hilarious but in a humiliating kind of way… The kitsch factor just reached garden gnome painted on black velvet.

  3. Hahaha, pachinko is one of those absurd things for which an an absence of cultural familiarity allows the raw insanity of the activity to shine though. Not so unlike watching Andrew WK, but even more pure and intense. Not unlike these commercials.

  4. Why is it that watching things like this makes me want to learn more about the Japanese, and yet at the same time… want to avoid them like the bubonic plaigue?

  5. You may not be regular super-famous, but you’re certainly geek super-famous, and japan certainly has geeks, and I’m sure there’s japanese geeks out there who freaking love Pachinko. …Who love Pachinko and are really looking for a guiding principle in life. Jeez dude, you’re like 4 steps away from the Holy Temple of Weaton’s Law, Kyoto.

  6. I wouldn’t think you would WANT to be “super famous” nowadays…those freakin tabloids and photographers are ruthless (not to mention idiotic and insane). Some of us are just tickled when you appear on our fave tv shows (watched “Paradise” ep over the weekend–you play psycho very convincingly. Hmmm…?).

  7. When can we expect Memories of the Future Volume 2? Please hurry, as I’ve finished volume 1 and now my life is back to being meaningless again.

  8. Oh Wil grabs his camera and makes bizzare tapes with it all right. He just doesn’t wan’t everyone knowing about his “super secret tea parties” with stuffed animals and a life-size cardboard cut-out of a famous celebrity that shall remain nameless…for now, anyway. It’s a blackmail thing. He knows what I’m talking about.

  9. Wow. That made me crack the hell up and I’m sick as a dog today. Thank you for that! And, um, feel free to comment on all of the wonderful verbal diarrhea that I usually post on here.

  10. I know, right? It makes you wonder how much he got paid to do this spot, either that or he’s a much better actor than I’ve given him credit for in the past!

  11. Hahaha. OK, seriously, as sick as I am right now you’d think I wouldn’t be laughing as hard as I am at these comments. It really does sound like a craptastic movie that he would be starring in, though.

  12. I don’t know, Wil, you shouldn’t sell yourself short. I’ve seen less famous actors than you in foreign commercials. The guy who played Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs did a Swedish commercial for lip balm and recited the whole “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me, I’d fuck me HARD!” speech verbatim while applying the lip balm and “Goodbye Horses” was playing in the background. I’m kind of torn over which spot is more disturbing, his, or Nicolas Cage’s.

  13. My greatest regret is that I can experience this clip for the first time only once. Oh, if only I had *known it would be so amazing, I could have saved watching it for a special occasion; like my birthday, or during the birth of my next child.
    *Wil Wheaton, I will trust your opinion of awesome things in the future.

  14. Oh, god! I still remember when I first saw the commercial.
    I couldn’t believe what I was watching and took some minutites until I realize the man was the NICHOLAS CAGE!!!
    And of course laughed so hard. Gosh.
    Here in Japan, Pachinko CMs are aired in the time slots in late night due to the nature of Pachinko that is the R18 game of gambling. I guess that condition fuels the wackyness to all the other Pachinko CMs here; midnight=you are either too “high” or too sleepy to keep your sensibility which functions OK during the daytime.
    Thanks for the entry. I really do hope you will be on one of the CMs here. (crossing my fingers)

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