sells coal and marigolds

In place of one of those posts about how I really want to sit down and write but have suddenly found myself too busy to actually sit down and write, I offer a picture of a gnome:

Obligatory Gnome

I took this picture months ago, and just came across it this morning.

Do you see how this Gnome is looking expectantly toward the horizon, the handle of his little gnomish axe resting in his right hand, so if whatever he's hoping to see (or maybe hoping to not see) comes into view, he's ready to meet it? 

Yeah, I see that too.

44 thoughts on “sells coal and marigolds”

  1. Also, he’s looking upwards. Is that just because he’s small, or because he’s expecting death from above? Or both.
    My money’s on the dragon whose hoard he raided last adventure is likely to become a campaign villain, and he’s keeping watch for his buddies while they rest and heal up.

  2. Is that damaged or undamaged? Because they have different values depending on condition. After all, garden gnomes haven’t been made since the bombs fell on 10/23/2077…

  3. …whereas I instantly envisage Binwin Bronzebottom surveying a great stock of self-emblazoned merchandise that stretches off into the horizon, quietly content in the knowledge that his IP is in good shape.
    Just listened to series 3 again this week.
    Damn, but I miss Alf.

  4. Hi Wil,
    I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this, but I’m not sure how else to contact you.
    I’m @marioblanket on twitter and you blocked me a little over a month ago. You made a tweet about how people were overreacting and giving you a hard time for making an anti-windows joke, so I, being in a bit of a rambunctious mood, made a sarcastic reply to your tweet. I used as many silly combinations of swear words I could fit within the 144 character limit in an effort to parody the tweets that you had complained about. I guess I just thought you’d find it funny. I have a feeling that you took me very seriously, which is completely understandable, since it isn’t exactly easy to tell when a random stranger on the internet is attempting to make a joke.
    I just wanted to apologize for that. I’ve felt terrible about it ever since I realized I was blocked, not just because I miss being able to read your tweets, but also because I potentially offended you.
    Anyway, please keep up the fantastic work. Sorry again!
    Another fan,
    Dane P.

  5. C’est le gnome de Travelocity, n’est-ce pas?
    Hmmm. At least it’s not that Burger King guy. Now that guy gives me the shudders.
    (what’s up with that freaky mask, anyways?)

  6. That’s a gorgeous picture! Why not write about the gnome? His little gnome hopes, his dreams, what he sees and what he has seen…

    Me, I just wrote my first evil genius song, complete with a turncoat robot army and a chorus that resolves to a diabolical laugh…so I got that going for me, which is nice.

    Though I’m kind of stuck on the plot of my next song. Here’s the question I’m pondering: if the Statue of Liberty placed a personals ad, who would answer the ad, and how would they meet up? I’m thinking they’d meet in a public place like Times Square – safety, doncha know – and she’d wears a carnation or something so the, um, prospect will know it’s her…but who’s the prospect? Is it too obvious if I go with the Lincoln statue?

  7. I know you are looking for a post from Wil Wheaton, but here is a photo of a gnome.
    I’m sure this settles the matter.
    This post makes me think about the guy who tried to pay a bill with a drawing of a spider. I’m sure teh googles can show it to you. Makes me giggle every time.

  8. I think the Statue of Liberty and one of the faces from Mount Rushmore are starcrossed lovers, sending letters to each other.

  9. Two faces, both alike in pensiveness
    (In fair USA, where we find their need),
    A seeking heart leads to attentiveness,
    Where hot blood makes hot nights indeed.
    From forth the torrid text of those two souls
    A pair of star-crossed lovers make their link,
    Unrelenting desires take their toll
    Regardless of their love they never wink.
    The time-cracked passage of their distant love
    And the monumental gulf between their dreams,
    Which, but their massive fame, naught could remove,
    Is now the traffic of our data streams—
    The which, if you with patient eyes attend,
    Their tragic love, our tweets shall strive to mend.

  10. I took one look at this photo and instantly knew everything about this gnome and the life he has led. I…I need to write a story about this gnome right now. I don’t know if I should thank you or curse you for showing me this impossibly profound image. I’ve never felt this way when writing before, I’m completely captivated by this idea. Is this a writer thing?

  11. Nice! The other faces are jealous, though. They’re all, “Is he still talking about that skank?” or telling her “Honey, you should try a *real* man. Do you know what he says about you when you’re not around?”
    I bet it’s Roosevelt she likes. You know she totally digs that Tom Selleck ‘stache.

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