BEHOLD Clash of the Geeks – The Wheaton / Scalzi Fan Fiction Chapbook

A long time ago, on an Internet far, far away, John Scalzi's brain unleashed the most epic and awesome and WTF image ever known in the history of all the tribes: The Unicorn Pegasus Kitten.

But a Unicorn Pegasus Kitten alone wasn't enough, and so I was placed astride it, wearing the Infamous Clown Sweater. And I, riding a Unicorn Pegasus Kitten while wearing a Clown Sweater (and short shorts), though certainly enough for some mortals, wasn't enough for us, so a Scalzorc was added. And while it would be acceptable in some worlds for a Unicorn Pegasus Kitten to be ridden by a Wheaton in an Incamous Clown Sweater while a Scalzorc looked looked askance, still more was required: a story to bring them all together, and in teh darknez, LOL them.

And, thus was born the Wheaton and Scalzi Fan Fiction contest.

Today, my dear Internets, the circle is complete. The stories have been written, the winners chosen, and the results compiled into a digital tome known for now and ever as:


(Please imagine thunder, lightning, and some dramatic music at this time, perhaps if Iron Maiden were to have scored an overture, for example.)



(Now would be a good time to imagine more thunder, and maybe some howling of a far-off beast that yore glad isn't close enough to be seen.)


Clash of the Geeks


Now, here is why this is awesome: you can, right now, go get the entire digital chapbook, in multiple formats, for free.


We're asking that, if you do collect a copy for your very own, you make a donation to the Lupus Alliance of America, a non-profit and very important organization that is dear to many of us involved in this project, and our families.

Here's what John says, in his grown-up voice:

You’ll notice that we’re offering Clash of the Geeks as a free download. You don’t have to pay for it, or make a donation to fight against lupus. And if you don’t, that’s fine. But if you can – if you’ve got the suggested minimum payment of $5 to spare — we would really like it if you did. All of the money that comes to us for this is going back out the door again, into the coffers of the Michigan/Indiana affiliate of the Lupus Alliance of America. We paid our writers and our artist, but we did that out of our own pockets. Wil, Subterranean Press and I aren’t seeing a cent from this. That’s not what this is about.

We did this thing because we thought it would be fun and because we thought you would have fun reading these stories. But we also did it because people we know and love and care about are afflicted with lupus. Lupus, if you don’t know, is not an easy disease to live with: it attacks your immune system and does all sorts of damage, and those who live with it genuinely do struggle. We’re doing this for fun, but we’re also doing this to help those people living with lupus, some of whom are family. It’s a personal thing.

Which is why, again: If you can pay, we hope you will pay. Our $5 suggested payment is not a lot for you, especially when you consider the sheer amount of awesome this chapbook contains. But if each of you chip in (and tell your friends about it, and they chip in, too), those $5 payments will add up pretty quickly. And then we’ll be doing some real good, as well having fun. We’ve made it to easy to pay through PayPal, but for those of you who would enjoy a tax deduction, we’ve also set up a way for you to get one of those as well.

Okay, now you may go and get yourself a copy of CLASH OF THE GEEKS … and please, please, please, tell your friends, tell your Reddits, tell your Farks, and tell your Twitters. We're all immensely proud of this project.

60 thoughts on “BEHOLD Clash of the Geeks – The Wheaton / Scalzi Fan Fiction Chapbook”

  1. I must confess never having heard the word “chapbook”, and fearing it was a synonym for “lad mag” — a terrifying prospect. I think you’re a fine guy, Wil, but … thank goodness Wikipedia clarified the meaning of the word.

  2. Revised ending. After the Tron 2 light cycle disappears into the distance on the Apple II screen, Jay sits there dumbfounded for 2 seconds. Then a phone rings. Jay pulls out the IPhone running the mainframe screen. He pushes the button to answer the phone call, and Jay, still stuck in his Tron costume, gets sucked into the IPhone mainframe screen, using Tron 1 graphics. The IPhone then gently drops on the carpet screen up.

  3. Wil,
    Thanks for the download. If you don’t mind, I’ve donated to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of America. My mom’s a survivor and I try to donate as much to them as possible.

  4. Thank you for supporting the Lupus fight with this awesome book coated in awesomesauce. My mother has Lupus and I get to see the effects of it firsthand.

  5. Hello there:
    I know tis isn’t the proper way, but can’t find an e-mail to contact you. I’m a spanish publisher interested in publishing Clash of the geeks here to raise funds too. Please, let me know if you’re interested by emailing me at mariamcirujano@torremarfil dot es
    Thank you very much for your time

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