tamed by the purr of a jaguar

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. I had no idea so many new readers were visiting my blog; I'd just assumed that the Internet had gotten bored with me, moved on to whatever the new hotness is, and I was writing for the few, the proud, the geeky who had been here forever.

Knowing that there are a significant number of you who are new to my words is incredibly inspiring to me, and I woke up early this morning (not my choice – more on that in a second) feeling pretty excited to fire up Typepad and write in my blog. I haven't felt like that in a long, long time. So thank you to those of you who have been here for a while, and thank you to those of you who are recent arrivals. I hope to make it worth your while to spend some of your time with me.

So let's talk about this morning, shall we? Last night, I celebrated the 4th of July the way the founding fathers intended: I went to the Hollywood Bowl with my wife, our son, his girlfriend and our good friend BURNS! (his actual name, with the ! and everything) to see Hall & Oates perform with the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra.

It was a very short concert, because of the 10pm noise curfew, but it was still a whole lot of fun. Initially, Ryan and I thought that Darryl Hall looked like Hasselhoff, but we later decided that he actually looks sort of like Thor, if Thor were a rocker. Oates doesn't have his epic moustache, and I'm not going to lie to you, Marge: a little bit of me died inside when I saw that.

But then I was clapping along with Private Eyes (CLAP!)* and I didn't seem to mind all that much.

Even though we took the Red Line to Hollywood like intelligent people who don't want to spend an extra fifty hours** waiting to get the hell out of Hollywood, we still didn't get home until almost 11. We were all pretty amped up from the fireworks and clapping along with Hall & Oates, so we were all awake well after midnight. I actually ended up reading comic books in bed until almost 2, before drifting off to sleep to dream of maneaters and the M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E.

Four hours later, at six fucking o fucking clock in the fucking morning, my asshole cat decided that he was going to chase a ping pong ball around my bedroom, jump up onto my bed and attack my feet, and then make that one particular sound all cat — I almost said "owners" but we all know the correct term is "staff" — hear when the cat wants to go outside. So I dragged myself out of bed and opened the door for him to go do whatever the hell a cat does at six fucking o fucking clock in the fucking morning … which, as it turns out, is make that same noise again ten minutes later until I let him back into the house.

And that's the story of how I only got six four*** hours of sleep last night, but don't really care because I woke up feeling energized and excited, knowing that writing silly stuff in my blog is actually worth the effort, because you — yes, you — are still coming around to read it, even if it's only a stupid story about my cat.****

* They're watching you (CLAPCLAP!)

** Duration possibly exaggerated for comedic and editorial effect.

*** Okay, maybe I'm a little more tired than I originally thought. Also, math is hard.

**** But the writing is the thing, even if it's something stupid about my cat. I have to get this stuff out of the way so I can write the good stuff.

107 thoughts on “tamed by the purr of a jaguar”

  1. 6:00 am you say? My what a well behaved kitty you have! My two cats have decided in the past year that 4:30 am is a good time for breakfast…and as you are painfully aware, one can not say “No” to a demanding cat as it’s jumping on your head and clawing your new oak dresser….although shutting them out of the bedroom for a few hours helps.

  2. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a whole 6 hours of sleep. I’ve been plagued with insomnia for the past week due to withdrawal from an anti-anxiety drug I no longer need (or want). It leaves me as tired as ever but incapable of finding a comfortable position for more than 30 minutes at a time.
    I can actually feel my intelligence and sanity slipping away from me a little more every day.
    As for feline alarm clocks, my master dutifully wakes me around 6am every morning. He tries the gentle approaches first; purring loudly in my ear, or gently nudging my forehead with his damp nose. If neither of those work, he decides to walk around and over me again and again with claws extended. All of this is his subtle way of saying “You know, a bit of breakfast would be lovely. Hop to it.”
    I can definitely empathize with your plight/honour of being the employee of a cat.
    And as always, please keep on bloggin’!

  3. Nothing quite like being pounced on at freak o’clock by a demanding diva cat. My brother used to put tape on my cat’s feet just to watch her walk funny. I think it was payback for her attempts to smother him in his sleep with her butt.
    I find a lot of my writing is done after a bad night of sleep, either the comatose state causes absolute insanity writing or I’m too freakishly tired to do anything but sit my ass at the screen typing out gibberish.

  4. one might think of a clever way to prevent said evil beast from entering ones sleeping area, say for example a closed door ;) like we had to do while our little meowing beasts were inside animals otherwise we would have never gotten any sleep what-so-ever!
    renewed drive is always a good thing… of which i am still searching for mine. best of wishes to you and your family :)

  5. I’ve been reading your blog for… holy frak! A decade plus some. You’ve known me as: Miss Kitty Fantastico, @kittylair and that gal at SDCC who turned 30 and took that bad ass picture (and owe a beer;). But really when I look back I see the girl who wanted so hard to believe in the kind of love you’ve written about. Finally found it and not only am I a StepMom in training but I will be a Mommy too in January 2012. When dealing with Q (kid not JDL) I often ask… WWWD? So please keep blogging… cats, fireworks, anything. You are part of my life… something I think many of us would claim. And thank you.

  6. I’m new and I’m reading! I REALLY wanted to go to the Hall & Oats show, too, and a very small but very significant part of my also died when I read Oats no longer sported his Oatstache. PLEASE tell me he still has the curly mullet!

  7. I am new to your blog. Your work with The Guild made me search for more from you. Loved the Cat story this morning. Sorry it was that early and only after getting 4 hours of sleep. Yeah!! Math. Take a Cat Nap later.

  8. I read your blog every time you post something. I just don’t comment all the time. And yeah, I did notice that you were not posting as often but life is like that, especially when you’re away doing guest characters on cool tv shows. I always hope you are secretly composing future blogs for when the episodes air since I really like to read what you experienced but couldn’t tell us at the time. Please don’t ever doubt that someone wants to read what you write.

  9. “Six fucking o fuck clock in the fucking morning” made me laugh way too hard. I guess only getting 6*** hours of sleep does that to me.
    ***actually 6.

  10. I have only been following your blog since I joined the Twitter last year (although I’ve been a long time fan). The 4th of July post was great! I think it is a great idea to re-post some of your favorites once in a while.

  11. Imagine this scene:
    Me: Hey, I closed the door so I can sleep!
    Cat: LET ME IN.
    Me: Sorry, door's closed.
    Cat: I WILL SCRATCH MY WAY RIGHT THROUGH IT YOU IDIOT JUST OPEN THE DOOR.
    Me: No. Sleeping.
    Cat: [scratch scratch scratch scratch HOWL scratch HOWL HOWL HOWL scratch]
    Me: Totally ignoring you.
    Cat: [SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH HOWL SCRATCH] I CAN DO THIS ALL NIGHT.
    Me: Fine. You win.
    Cat: I ALWAYS DO LOL.

  12. I have a category on the side there called From The Vault, where I post some of my favorites from time to time. Check it out!

  13. Enjoyed your fireworks story for the 1st time (I’m new to the world’o’Wheaton)… I am also one of the ‘staff’ for our dog – very relatable early morning demand by our ‘master.’ Enjoy your prose and will continue to visit WWdN and your musings on twitter.

  14. I was on an interent break this weekend so I didn’t read the last post until today. I have been reading ever since you collated paper for Jenny The Blogess.

  15. Hi Wil – i am a newish reader, well, i’ve been with you for about a year anyway
    awww i feel your noisy cat pain – my cat *screams* like a baby first thing in the morning for her breakfast every day. We are definitely her ‘staff’ – love that expression!
    Her weird noises can be cute though, like when she gurgles like a mogwai or even speaks to me – i shit you not, when i come in from work i always call ‘hulloooo’ and she pokes her head round the stairwell and says ‘huwwooo’ :)

  16. I’ve read the Fireworks story on your blog and in Just a Geek and it’s still an awesome read. But more importantly with this post: thanks for the reminder that you have to write to, well, write. I started a personal blog while I was working on my dissertation and I where lots of people working on a project like that would say that was wasting my writing time, having a place to just get my thoughts out was vital to completing the bigger project. I’ve been avoiding writing in the last month or so just from burnout but I think it’s time to get going again and your post today helped me get there.
    So yeah… thanks. :-)

  17. Oh, great – now I feel bad for not getting around to commenting on the previous post. ;-)
    I, too, am a long-time reader/first-time commenter, having read your stuff on & off for a couple of years now. My iPad now gives me easier access to things like Twitter, Podcasts, etc., so I have more recently become familiar with the “full Wheaton,” as it were…
    Anyway, I’ve always been impressed with your work. Posts like the Fireworks one read like little novels, with real characters, plot twists, emotional highs & lows, etc.. I also like that you obviously put a lot of time and effort into your work, but never take yourself so seriously as to condescend to your readers.
    Keep up the great work! We’re still here – listening, reading and watching…

  18. My furry alarm clock is an indoor kitty who has decided that whenever my night-owl neighbors come home from their job at the bar is the time for breakfast. Whether that be 2am, 3am, or 20 minutes before my alarm is set to go off. I totally feel your pain.
    Although, at least it was the “I wanna go out!” noise and not the “I’m trying to hork a hairball the size of Nebraska on your shoes!” noise.

  19. Yahoo pointed me to your blog somewhere in 2003 or 2004 and I’ve been hooked ever since. D&D and poker I don’t know much about, but anyone speaking with a passion about something he or she loves, is almost always fun to read or listen to and an inspiration to me. So, Wil, I guess you are my inspiration!
    Oh great… hello Dolly

  20. I like to think of myself as an “animal person”. At one point while I was younger, I had 10 pets (1 dog, 3 cats, 2 gerbils & 4 fish). When I moved from Toronto to Edmonton over 2 years ago, I had to leave my dog and cat with my mom.
    I missed having a pet so much, until I stayed with one of my friends, who has a cat, for a couple weeks.NEVER AGAIN! I can’t stand the fur everywhere, the smell and the damn thing jumping up on the dinning table and kitchen counters.

  21. “Who else are we having on the show? How about Josh Kaygan? Wil- Im sorry who?” -w00tstock. Laughed so hard at this show saw you at Coronet in Los Angeles. And then reading about the cat made my day! Hoping to see you again with my son, hopefully at another show. Not sure when or where the next one will be, been looking all over the web to see your schedule but cant find it anywhere. Me and my wife both have been LONG time fans of your movies and shows, and now books. Wanting to get your autograph for my son beore his 8th birthday in August from you, for I too think hes becoming a Wil Wheaton fan. Best of luck to you in the future!

  22. This totally made me laugh out loud. That damn cat! I’m so glad my cat doesn’t do those types of things, which makes me wonder if she’s really a cat.

  23. I’ve not been a long-time reader, it’s only been a couple of years, but I had wondered why you hadn’t been writing as much. I thought you might just be busy with all the running hither and thither. Please keep the writing coming. Since I have left my own blog to languish, due to work and young children, I write vicariously through you.
    Thanks for entertaining us!

  24. Reading your blog keeps the aging at bay. It’s nice to know someone (turns out many of us) who has the same memories of the 80s. Arcade machines in corner stores, comics for under $1 and a whole morning dedicated to cartoons. You strike up the right balance of “It is ok to be nostalgic and keep the kid in you alive while still playing the role of responsible parent and husband”.

  25. Um. Hi. I am a new-ish follower and it never occurred to me to leave a comment, just because I am that lame. ;)
    Oh, and I am compelled to comment and say “that is why I don’t have a cat.”

  26. It, technically could happen, if there were a TARDIS involved. I’m just saying. I am a relative newcomer to your blog, so it was my first time reading the fireworks story. Thanks for writing stories that are relatable, funny, very human, and that motivate me to write more. And yes, math is very hard.

  27. Math is hard, but so is writing. If math is language, then perhaps the development of writing in english can feed your fire for communication, which will spread into your math stuffs.
    Perhaps in a few years you’ll write a dissertation on the trigonometry of photons, and how their structures assemble other elementary particles.

  28. Hey…You’re Wil Wheaton!…You can never go out of style or be forgotten…As long as there are geeks with TV’s and computers…and people who like to read good stuff…Then you will have a place in the hearts of the internets…
    btw…I bought Memories of the Future and i’m reading it on Kindle for PC…A very fun read!…

  29. Hey, Wil. Long-time fan and Wesley-lover, long-time blog reader (from before Exile, sometime around 01-02), first time commenter. Slightly ashamed I’ve never commented before. I know how important feedback is, but I’ve been battling my own Voice of Self-Doubt for a long time and it does make commenting uncomfortable. Anyway, I’m incredibly happy that you’re feeling some renewed interest in blogging. I’d miss this a great deal.
    Also, sharply veering off topic, wanted to do something I should have done before: thank you and your Mom for the post on Celiac Disease. When I read it I thought instantly, “OMFG, that’s what’s been wrong with me all these years!” As much as it is totally devastating, and I’m still trying to come to terms with the disease and all of its implications, I do very much appreciate finally knowing what it is.
    Thanks again, for everything.

  30. I must say, that was some of the most f**king talented use of the f**ed up f***ing word f**k I’ve seen in quite a while. :)
    I think I’ve only been reading your blog for a year or so, but I really enjoy this little corner of the internets – I don’t know if a website can have good vibes or warm fuzzies, but this one certainly does to me. ^_^

  31. Totally worth doing this Blog, Wil. Not only does it feed that wonderful energy to your fan base but it reaffirms that although you are awesome, geektastic, and have an epic beard, you are a human being just like everyone else. And that retroactively makes you more likable and totally a guilty pleasure to those that know and talk about you in life. It’s no longer “Hey, I post on that famous star Wil Wheaton’s Blog, look at me, I’m wearing the sparkly sequin pants of awesome fanboy +3″ and becomes “I post my opinions on Wil Wheaton’s blog and because I appreciate his content and thoughts.”
    Also, I think the “I want to go outside” meow is actually the cat equivelent of an evil laugh. Not sure though.

  32. Now you made me think about it, I’ve been reading this damn blog (well, originally the one on WWDN) for around ten years. It’s a good thing you’re entertaining.
    Please continue sending the funny through the tubes. Especially for those of us who have a “get off my lawn!” attitude about Twitter, so miss your antics there.
    Also, RFB is very quiet these days. Waah.

  33. Thanks for reading all these years, and finally commenting! Check out my mom's blog; it's a useful resource for Celiacs.

  34. I think I have your cat’s evil twin here, only he wakes us first for food, and then again to go outside. We seriously should have a revolving door, as he is in and out all frakin day!

  35. Too funny (though obviously not for you). It can only be topped by the story I was told by my friend Jeff (who incidentally lent me his copy of Just a Geek this past weekend. Great stuff!). On Saturday he was awakened at 4:30 a.m. by his recently adopted cat (a “gift” from his mother-in-law…nuff said) that they all assumed was a young kitten but was instead an emaciated pregnant mother who promptly had three kittens. Makes me glad that all I had to put up with this past weekend was a dog who shook like he had the palsy every time a firework went off.

  36. I love your pet stories! Especially the cat ones! :-D I’ve been reading your blog since about ’03, I think. Maybe a bit longer.

  37. YES!
    People that don’t have … demanding cats don’t understand. You can’t close the door. He’ll headbutt it and paw at it ALL NIGHT. And in the morning if I don’t do his bidding, he’ll jump up on a dresser and start chucking things off of it. The longer I take, the larger the items get… sheesh.

  38. Hall & Oats??? Gad! I was shocked when my husband started signing “I Can’t Go For That” on our drive home yesterday from a family BBQ (thanks to 80′s on 8 on Satellite radio).
    Didn’t realize that they were even still around. Hubby confesed that he’s a H&O fan as we drove – this from a man that listened to Bad Brains in HS.
    Was H&O ever even cool?

  39. Wil, You have really been fun and interesting man. I don’t know what you are talking about tired of you BAH!
    Sir it would be cool if you would follow me on Twitter (this is an official request). I do not spam my peeps so don’t worry about that but here is why!
    Do you know what I think is cool….
    It seems I am almost always home on Christmas Eve these past few years!
    When I am watching a 24 hours of a Christmas Story…. I tweet some lines and silly quips. You know I am wrapping presents and such so I have to be home you know.
    Then a few seconds to minutes later on TWITTER…there goes Wheaton…reciting some lines from the movie. Cool Wil is home too I AM NOT ALONE IN THE UNIVSERSE on Christmas eve wrapping presents hahaha! CONFIRMATION!
    So I talk to you and of course you never see it :).
    Anyway, I will pop over to your blog as well and it has made me raise an eyebrow. Many a time I have read a blog from you and say – is Wheaton looking in my window????? You mirrow what I am doing sometimes like: Watching SYFY Twillight Zone Marathons sometimes or Watching MEGA SHARK vs MEGA OCTOPUS you know the coolest movie on the planet.
    It is just funny to hear the escapades you have — only the way Wil Wheaton can!
    Anyway I hope you keep blogging sometimes its cool to hear someone else is doing the same stuff as yourself or thinking about the same stuff.

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