In which I am a Trolldad

Ryan's home for the holidays, before he moves far, far away for his new job (hey, check out my son! He graduated college last week, and he starts a great job in two weeks! Go Ryan!!)

My son's a college graduate!

The first night he was home, I told him that the warm covers for the bed he's sleeping on were in the dryer, so he could get them out when he was ready to go to sleep.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey, it gets cold in my office overnight, so don't forget to put the comforter that's in the dryer on it before you go to sleep.

Him: Okay. Thanks. G'night.

Me: I love you, kiddo. G'night.

I went to bed, and the next morning at breakfast he told us how cold he was overnight, because we didn't give him any warm bedding.

See, even at 22, the damn kids still have brain damage.

I reminded him of our conversation. He recalled it (having apparently forgotten it, immediately after I told him goodnight, likely because that part of his brain is the part that also processes requests to put his goddamn dishes in the dishwasher), and that was the end of that.

Flash forward to later yesterday afternoon. Ryan and Nolan were out with some of Nolan's friends, and Ryan texted me, "Will you put the covers on the bed, so I don't forget them again?" I told him that I would do just that.

…then I got this idea to be a Trolldad. Instead of making the bed, I put the covers in a neatly-folded pile at the foot of the bed, and made this picture, which I printed out and put on top of them:

Scumbag Steve

(Click all images to embiggen at Imgur)

I thought that was so stupidly funny, I made this picture, and put it in the middle of the blankets:

Business Cat

I was having way too much fun, so I put this on his pillow:


And finally, this was folded up and put under the sheets where it would crinkle and make him get out of bed after he thought he was getting into it to go to sleep:



When he woke up this morning, I asked him if he got my notes.

"Oh my god, that was hilarious," he said.

"It was pretty amusing to me," I said.

"The best one was the last one, because I thought I was done with your notes and I could just go to bed, and then I was all, 'OH GODDAMMIT!'"

"That was the idea," I said.

"Well done, sir," he said.

"I spent more time making those stupid pictures than I would have spent making the bed," I said. "I'm very proud of that."

"Oh, I'm sure you are. Good job," he said.

As we parted ways and I walked out of the living room toward my bedroom, I heard him say, softly, "…and it is on."

So I have that to look forward to for the next two weeks.

73 thoughts on “In which I am a Trolldad”

  1. I had to LOL whne i logged back into twitter a min ago…
    Yet again on Dec. 23 2011 Let it be Known RYAN has taken over WILL’s twitter account… but sadly…after years… it may be the LAST time…
    until the next time of course >-)
    Take care Ryan

  2. OT:
    Merry Christmas to all, but I don’t seem to be able to buy either the Just A Geek or Happiest Days of Our Lives from the siderail. My wife was gonna buy them both for me, or so she says.
    If I click through, it says the product isn’t available on If I search on Lulu for the titles, neither comes up.
    Help? Or should I be bothering Lulu? Or buying them elsewhere?
    Happy all the holidays. And thanks for all the cool, entertaining stuff you’ve done, by the way.

  3. sweet jebus…
    as a geek and a dad myself, and i honestly can’t even describe how awesome it was to read this…
    for whatever reason, my wife has just about zero interest in meme’s, but i have faith that my kids would freaking love this.
    new goal.
    start teaching my daughter about memes so we can do jokes like this.
    should work. she’s 8 and i’ve already taught her to love pink floyd, tolkien, janes addiction and cocteau twins…..memes should be right up her alley.

  4. I am occasionally a TrollAunt, but my nephews don’t find me nearly as amusing as your son(s) find you. Most of the time they are rolling their eyes at my cultural references, which are older than they are. I am getting ahead on points with the younger one, though…he is interning with me. Told him he would have an easier time with ANYONE but me, and he stepped up and into the challenge. They surprise you, don’t they?

  5. Well done, sir.
    My husband, occasional reader of your blog but generally far behind me in that area, actually read this story the other day when I was pulling some serious overtime at work and too tired to be online much at all. He made sure to remind me to visit today, now that my holiday weekend of hellish hours is over, because he enjoyed it so very much. We don’t have children, but stories like this sure make kids sound like a lot of fun. Well, when you’re trolling them, at least. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. Brilliant. Its great that father and son can be best mates too. I have that with my dad :)
    Wil, doublecheck your next keynote powerpoint slideshow. Remember, this is the lad that photobombed yourself Mr Fillion wasnt it? :)
    [cue Two Tribes by Frankie Goes To Hollywood]

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