I have a very important question for everyone attending JoCo Cruise Crazy 2.

Saturday, I'm heading down to America's Wang to get on a boat, because JoCoCruseCrazy 2: Cruise Crazier is setting sail on Sunday.

I hope that it lives up to this video that one of the cruisers (who named themselves Sea Monkeys) created:

I know, right? Check out the video he made last year, based on the Superfriends.

I know, right!? RIGHT?!

We had a great time last year, and I'm lucky and grateful to be invited back for more shenanigans and mirth-making.

If you're going on the cruise, I have a very important question for you: I get to perform one night on the cruise, and I'm building my set list. I already have some stories picked out that I think you'll enjoy, but I'd really like to know from actual audience members what you'd like to hear from me. You can pick anything from any of my books or blog posts, so feel free to dig into the archives, if you have time and interest.

Also: There are two formal nights on this cruise, which means you have to take a tuxedo or a suit with you, taking up valuable luggage and cabin space, just so you can wear it two times. When you're on vacation. Seriously.

I am totally going to get all formal'd up for the Paul F. Tomkins Memorial Moustache Formal and Fextacular, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let a cruise line tell me that I have to dress up for their stupid fancy dinners. Indeed, I have taken a stand against fanciness, and on the formal nights, I will be hosting the Wil Wheaton Anti-Formal Not Formal Unformal For Formally Being Not Formal in the extremely fancy Lido Buffet. Come as you are, (but, seriously, at least wear a clean shirt) and we will dine like triumphant Viking warriors. In fact, I think it would be hilarious if we dressed very nicely, right up to the edge of formality, but just short of it, to make a precious little point that nobody will really care about except us.

Seriously, people: we're going to be on a boat in less than a week.

39 thoughts on “I have a very important question for everyone attending JoCo Cruise Crazy 2.”

  1. I would love to hear the story of your Better than Patrick Stewart’s Honda Prelude, as I have heard you allude to it in your Rocky Horror piece but have never heard the original.

  2. Admittedly I’ve read most of your books, but not your blog so much, but I think I will leave it up to the others to help provide input. I trust that I will enjoy whatever you do when you’re up on stage because, well, that’s what happened last cruise (which was the first time I’d ever seen you on stage.)

  3. But the first formal is Mardi Gras…. Though storming the buffet sounds fun (and sort of random)… As for stories I’d want to hear… Well now – since I didn’t know who you were before I read Dancing Barefoot – I say you tell a story out of that!

  4. I’m not certain my dress for the moustache formal is quite formal enough; maybe it’s right at the edge of formality but just short of it. In any case, I bought it especially to freak you out a little, so assuming you’re still doing the WWAFNFUFFBNF on that night despite planning to dress up afterwards, I might just join you for dinner then (possibly with my roommate Aliceandstuff? Oh, if only I could @mention commenters here. Also, I second her suggestion.)

  5. Since I missed you at w00tstock 2.10 in Austin, because you were off doing something for actual money or something like that, your entire repito.. repat.. oh, hell, your entire fleet of stories is ripe for live performance as far as I’m concerned. (Say it with me now: “I’m an engineer, not a linguist!”)
    As for the formal nights, I’m getting formal. Because I bought 2 new suits just for this cruise since the ones in my closet have mysteriously shrunk around the middle section only.

  6. I love any and all stories of you and Chris Hardwick nerding your youth away. I also second the Better Than Patrick Stewart’s Honda Prelude story!
    As a lady who hates formal wear I fully support WWAFNFUFFBNF and will pack accordingly!

  7. I've been thinking about reworking Hunter a little bit for live performance… but I worry that it's too dark for the cruise.

  8. I’d like to hear some Memories of the Future Volume 2.
    Regarding WWAFNFUFFBNF, my wife would probably kill me if I suggested we not dress up (just bought a suit for this cruise), but shirt, tie, sport jacket with shorts and flipflops would be excellent. :)

  9. I’ve only heard you do Blue Light Special live. It was fantastic but I’d love to hear something else. I second Joel Watson’s request for something from “Memories”. Anything from “Happiest Days” would also be lots of fun.
    Also, I’d love to go to the Lido Buffet, but…. The first formal night is Mardi Gras, which I LOVE. I’m bringing about 600 strands of throw beads and 150 masks to pass out… but I’m also going to rock a dress with a three foot train, and I’ll be wearing a silver and black mask and top hat. So I think I’ll be too formal for your Lido party on that night at least. Maybe I’ll crash it and bring beads and masks to drop off to someone to pass out.

  10. Any of your Trek experiences would be good. You do such a great Patrick Stewart! Heck, I’d listen happily to you do Rocky Horror for the umpteenth time, but only if P&S accompany.
    As for the formal dinner, I’m cool with whatever the rest of the gang wants to do. Might have to look for a truly revolting tie to go with my suit…

  11. Ummm…. appropo of not much here except that this post is reposted somewhere else, I have one question: didn’t you swear to Steve the Fruit Bat you’d never do facebook? If that isn’t your account it’s a damn good and pretty respectful fan edition. From the moustachioed fez live profile pic to remarks about Seamus being cold…
    if its you great… cause that means my whole world is only one espresso and mouse click away from me in the morning. If it’s not you then at least you know about this guy, ya know.

  12. No, that's me. Steve and I had a talk about it, decided that being there is an important part of my business, especially because everything I do online goes to my wall there.
    I'm still getting used to it. It's weird.

  13. I have no doubt that anything you choose to share with us will have us in either tears or giddy laughter, whichever your intent.
    I would be delighted to join you for WWAFNFUFFBNF, but I did buy a fabulous dress specifically for the formal dining formalities, so I *might* show up dressed to the nines anyway. If I knock it back to the eights, would that be ok? My husband will be in shorts, a Thinkgeek T-shirt, and a beard, so it’ll all balance out in the end.

  14. Have fun, wish I could go. I’ve only been on one cruise, but I actually liked the one formal night we had. I rarely get to dress up except for funerals and occasional weddings, so it was fun to dress up for something else for once. Having said that, going to an anti-formal held by you would be awesome.

  15. I was seriously planning on going, but then found out my first baby is due at the beginning of March… So hoping they do it again next year! At least I was able to make Wootstock Founder’s Night in SF, and might I say, sir, you all provided me with more hilarity than I have experienced in my adult life. Not to mention my wife was with me, it was quite the bonding experience, for her to finally get a glimpse into what the geek community truly means.

  16. … but I JUST BOUGHT a new DRESS for the Mardi Gras formal night!!! It’s purple!! It’s Beaded!! I’m wearing it!! (And I loathe buffets. Passionately. So, sadly, I will not be joining you for WWAFNFUFFBNF. And I am sad. But buffets. Bleh.)
    As for your set list, I would like to hear starry-starry-night.
    I’ve never been on cruise before. Are the ship’s lights too bright to stargaze?

  17. Yeah, the lights are too bright.
    And don't feel bad about having an awesome dress and loving it! I didn't want to drag a bunch of fancy clothes around with me, so I invented an alternative event to justify it. :)

  18. I love how you tell the story about WILLIAM FUCKING SHATNER live. :)
    Also, my husband and I will totally be there with you for WWAFNFUFFBNF!

  19. Oh Whew! For a minute there I was kinda worried that the lurking/stalking masses had birthed a really skilled and thus reallllly creepy impersonator. Glad you have joined us. Now my friends won't actually have to leave the comfort of the Farm/Castle/Cityville [eyeroll] to read a post I've recommended, though no one has ever been sorry for it… especially that Gingerbread awesome you let us know about.
     [sadface] can you believe we now live in an age in which clicking a link is too much "bother"? I feel the need for  a security blanket & a fruit batty hug.
     

  20. Apropos of nothing, I just have to say that I read ‘WWAFNFUFFBNF’ and got the mental image of someone stuffing their mouth with marshmallow Peeps. Which, at 12:45am, somehow struck me as hilarious beyond words.

  21. Since it’s Valentine’s Day (and will be still within the reach of it next week), do you have any stories about Anne and you as touching as the one you told about your son last year?
    I’m definitely going formal, as I lost enough weight (more pounds than you have years) to fit into my son’s high school prom tuxedo, and I can’t pass up the opportunity to wear it.

  22. Yes, well, hm.
    Re: fanciness
    I don’t understand how “fancy” has become a pejorative. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone sarcastically say “ooooh, well aren’t you fancy?!” and I don’t get it. What’s wrong with being fancy?
    Granted, I’m not normally too fancy in my life. My mom never taught me how to do my own hair or makeup because I never asked, and now I don’t live at home anymore and it’s too late. I don’t know anybody who is fancy all the time, but that’s what “fancy” means, isn’t it? – it’s a departure from the quotidian, from the practical. If you take a fancy to someone, or having a flight of fancy, you’re taking temporary leave from your ordinary self. That sounds like lots of fun to me.
    And here I’ve managed to wedge myself into this weird corner where my friends flip out and ask if I’m on drugs every time I wear a skirt. And I don’t like it, because (1) skirts are great. (You, as a kilt owner, can probably understand how nice it is to have air moving freely through your downstairs); and then (2) I don’t like that I’m made to feel self-conscious about putting in the effort to make myself look nice. Not even “fancy,” but just nice. When I show up to a meal feeling presentable, mature, and sophisticated, and then my friends show up and ask if I just came back from church or if my jeans are all in the wash or something, why am I the one that feels like an ass?
    I guess what I’m saying is, you object to bringing nice clothes to vacation because vacation is a time where you don’t want to worry about what other people say you have to wear to dinner. That’s completely understandable, and I fully support your desire to de-fancy yourself. But I’ve realized that I don’t live in an environment that supports me when I make the effort to look nice, so being fancy sometimes is part of that departure from what has become my reality – and, so help me FSM, I am going to milk all the fanciness I can out of this boat.

  23. Spacewriter here. I’m not going to be on the cruise, but just for the record, you CAN wear the same suit twice for formal nights. I do frequent appearances on cruises as an astronomy speaker and most cruise lines have many choices about foods and formal wear. So, rock out! I wish I were going to be there!

  24. Oaky, so it looks like: Something from Memories and Memories Volume 2, something from Happiest Days, something from Barefoot. I can totally do that.
    I’m also canceling the WWAFNFUFFBNF due to lack of interest.

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