Wil’s Yummy Asparagus

My contribution to dinner tonight was some yummy asparagus, it totally didn't suck, so I wanted to share the simple steps to create it with the Internet:

Wil's Yummy Asparagus

1. Get some asparagus.

2. Wash it off.

3. Cut Snap off the bottoms where it's all fibrous and gross.

4. Put about 2 inches of water into a pan.

5. Put some garlic salt into the water.

6. Bring your about-to-smell-great water to a boil.

7. Put the asparagus into the water for about 2 minutes, turning it or rolling it over once after about a minute.

8. Put some olive oil into a shallow dish.

9. Put a little bit of powdered garlic and ground pepper into the olive oil and mix it up real good.

10. Brush the tasty oil onto the asparagus.

11. Grill the asparagus (if you don't have a grill, you can use one of those grill pans) for about 4 or 5 minutes, turning a few times so you get nice charring all over it.

12. Serve immediately.

13. The next several times you pee, that's your body saying, "Dude! You had some seriously yummy asparagus tonight!"

Update: Reader Sans Diety offers this addition: During the last minute of grilling, squeeze a lemon over it, and then add a slight bit of grated Parmesan, just as it comes off the heat.

31 thoughts on “Wil’s Yummy Asparagus”

  1. Sounds delish, Will. However I will tell you that my mom taught me NEVER to cut my asparagus. Instead, hold each end and bend. The asparagus will snap apart right at the perfect spot and you will never have any yucky fibrous parts left.
    About the only thing to make this better!

  2. Sounds yummy.
    But also, LOL @ “grown pepper” (what if I only have the immature stuff on hand?)
    More helpfully, you should SNAP the stalks: grip at both ends and flex, they’ll break at the exact right point. edit I see the erudite Megangaffey beat me to this point while I was composing. Cheers!
    And I totally agree with step 13. The Hubs hates ‘spargy smell, but I love it because it reminds me of the deliciousness I have consumed!!
    Did you know: it’s not that only some people make the pee odor, but that some people are missing the enzyme which allows them to smell it? (I’ll bet you did, you scientist, you!)

  3. For those that live in a grill-unfriendly environment (weather or apartment-wise) this is also delicious as a broiling recipe. (Do all the things Wil says (I don’t blanche first, out of laziness) and then put your asparagus on a cookie sheet. Place in oven on broil for five minutes. Stir, another two minutes, done.

  4. We’ve had some really killer asparagus on the grill. clean it and get rid of the fibrous end (we have cut in the past, we’ll try the snap method), marinate it in italian seasoning for 30 minutes or more, put it in a foil packet, and put on the grill for 15-20 minutes or until done.
    I’m definitely gonna have to try your recipe too – it sounds really delicious.

  5. Very similar to the way I make it…but might I suggest:
    During the last minute of grilling, squeeze a lemon over it, and then add a slight bit of grated Parmesan, just as it comes off the heat.

  6. The way we do it, which my wife adores, is to take the asparagus, snap off fibrous ends, toss in a gallon sized ziploc bag with olive oil, fresh garlic, lemon juice, salt, and balsamic vinegar. Let it marinate for about a half hour, then grill til the asparagus gets a little char on the outside and is al dente. No pre-boiling needed. Try it!

  7. Allergic to avocado?! *speechless with horror, clings to her guacamole* I am so sorry for her loss. *solemn*
    I haven’t tried asparagus with garlic, just lemon butter, so I will try this. Thanks!

  8. Wil… for a Truly Awesome Experience see if you can find some wild asparagus. I don’t know about California, but when I lived in Colorado it often grew next to irrigation ditches. During the season we’d walk the ditch* and pick the fresh stalks. Two for the bag; one to eat on the spot. Cultivated asparagus is great, but a 1″ diameter wild asparagus that’s tender from tip to base is truly amazing.
    *It’s never “hike” the ditch… you have to “walk” the ditch.

  9. Now I’ve got Marian Call’s The Avocado Song going through my head. And with Anne’s allergies, it takes on a much more menacing tone.

  10. My husband is allergic to avocados as well, but not deathly so, which is great since he tends to sneak one in every now and again. Trust me, living in even a mostly avocado-free zone is killer and I feel for you. Your recipe sounds great, but I would certainly recommend using fresh garlic next time for some extra ka-pow! to the tastebuds.

  11. Darn it, now I want asparagus. Sounds like a great recipe, will have to try it soon.
    Oh, might I make a suggestion?
    Penzeys spice has a wonderful salt called shallot salt. Try replacing the garlic salt with shallot salt. This stuff tastes really good, and is wonderful on just about everything, especially popcorn.

  12. Try this for breakfast sometime –
    After steps 1-3, cut the asparagus into ~1 inch bits and saute in a little olive oil 5-10 minutes in a non-stick fry pan (adding salt and fresh ground pepper to taste). Beat or whisk four eggs with a little milk and S&P. When the asparagus starts getting nice and yummy looking add a Tbs of butter and when melted add the eggs. Cook as normal scrambled eggs from there.
    * Only do this if you are ready to say good-bye to regular scrambled eggs.
    ** Bacon and toast on the side go great with this as well.

  13. That sounds incredible! I eat a lot of grilled asparagus and one of my favorite things to do is sprinkle sesame seeds over them right before I’m about to take them off the grill, it’s insanely good.

  14. “13. The next several times you pee, that’s your body saying, “Dude! You had some seriously yummy asparagus tonight!””
    This is exactly how my kids got my grandson to eat asparagus!

  15. Sounds amazing. With a fried egg with a deliciously runny egg yolk you have a wonderful sauce as well.
    Oh, and this works perfectly with white asparagus as well – if you peel it before the snapping. Oh, oh, oh – or how about the skinny “thai asparagus”. Or better even: Wild asparagus! *sighs*

  16. Yum. I’mma try that. My personal asparagus/string bean recipe is incredibly easy and always goes over extremely well.
    Get some asparagus, snap the ends off. Or use fresh string beans and cut the tips off (unless you like the tips, some people do).
    Rinse. Put the veggies in a glass dish that has a lid (I use a round casserole dish). Put a couple splashes of tap water in the bottom (2-3 tablespoons)
    Microwave (yes I said microwave) for 4 minutes on high with the cover on. This will steam them extremely well but leave them crispy. Drain the water out. Test firmness. If still a little hard, microwave again for 2-4 minutes until desired texture is achieved.
    Toss in a couple tablespoons of olive oil and sprinkle with seasalt and garlic powder.
    They turn out tremendous every single time, and you have an amazing side dish in less than 10 minutes.

  17. Another tip that I heard is if you ever make puree’d asparagus soup, you should actually save the woody ends, because the flavor will still be there, and once you run it through a stick blender or food processor of your choice, it will make it more bearable.
    Though actually, making asparagus soup with this recipe doesn’t sound half bad either…

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