Here’s my flabby, forty year-old, nerdy self, on the beach in Hawaii.

YEAH SEXY WIL WHEATON SHIRTLESS YEAHI’m on vacation in Hawaii (ON VACATION FROM WHAT WIL WHEATON HA HA I KNOW) with Anne.

We’ve had an absolutely amazing trip, relaxing and reading and swimming and having beers and mostly just enjoying that, after a year spent mostly apart due to my work, we finally get ten days together.

Well, today, a shitbag decided to intrude on our private vacation. He set himself up on the beach where we’re staying, pulled out a telephoto lens, and decided to take pictures of us for hours this morning.

I saw this guy around 10 this morning, and I thought to myself, “No, that guy isn’t taking my picture; I’m just being paranoid. Nobody cares about me enough to camp out on a beach and take that kind of paparazzi picture.”

Around 3, Anne and I got up from the beach, and walked back to our condo to make lunch. I saw the same guy, in the same place, with the same camera. I sort of glared at him, and he said something to me that I couldn’t hear.

“What?” I said.

“I said, ‘thank you, Wil.'” He said.

“Dude, I’m on vacation, and taking pictures like that of me and my wife isn’t cool. Would you please delete them?” I said.

“Sorry, brah,” he said, “I gotta make a living.”

“Are you serious?” I said. “I’m just trying to be on vacation with my wife, man.”

“Sorry, brah,” he said.

I absorbed the reality of what this parasite had done, and I said, “Go fuck yourself, you piece of shit.”

“Hey, if you don’t like it, go home, brah,” he said.

I was enraged. I was shaking and sick to my stomach. I walked back to my condo, and ate a sandwich (delicious PB&J with Guava Jam!) while I processed the invasion of my privacy I’d just experienced.

I was furious that this piece of shit would spend hours sitting on a beach, taking I don’t even know how many pictures of us, and then have the audacity to tell me that I should just go home if I didn’t like it. Like I was in the wrong for expecting to enjoy some time on the beach without some fucking creep using a telephoto lens to take pictures of me.

While I ate my sandwich (SO GOOD OMG) and finished my Bikini Blonde Lager, I hatched a scheme: Anne and I would render this subhuman pile of shit’s photos worthless (more worthless than they already are, because who gives a fuck about me in a bathing suit) by taking pictures of ourselves and posting them on Twitter.

So that’s what we did. And now I’m posting them here.

Thanks for giving me an anxiety attack in the middle of my vacation, brah. Good luck selling your fucking pictures, you piece of shit. Maybe go find something worthwhile to do with your life, like use that camera to take pictures of the beauty in Maui, instead of playing at being a paparazzo and making someone feel really uncomfortable when they’re just trying to enjoy some quiet time with their wife.

And now: my flabby, nerdy, 40 year-old self… and my amazingly beautiful wife:

And me, in all of my flabby, 40 year-old nerd glory:

Super sexy Wil Wheaton shirtless on the beach. YEEEAAAHHH!!!
Die in a fire, paparazzo guy. Die in a fire, brah.

145 thoughts on “Here’s my flabby, forty year-old, nerdy self, on the beach in Hawaii.”

  1. You’d think the people renting you the condo would have some sort of security to shoo the bastard away, unless they’re the ones who told him where to find you.

    1. They may not have rented a condo of the type that has security and fences and stuff. They may have rented something in a remote place designed to be isolated and not have anybody else around, except other condo renters, in which case there probably wouldn’t be security.

      Although given how some of the Hawiian commenters have chimed in and said that “you never mess with the tourists”, perhaps it would be worth informing the condo management and they might respond in a appropriate way.

  2. Nice solution to the problem of an asshole!

    People like yourself should keep a small, superzoom camera with them on vacation, and when you see a paparazzi, take a good picture of them, and post it to a website that will “out” all of these annoying assholes. Sort of a Rogues Gallery of Stalkers/Paparazzi. That way, you can recognize them, be warned, and can take countermeasures.

  3. I am from Hawaii, please don’t let this infectious human waste affect your trip, most of us are raised with one simple rule “DON’T frak with tourists” I am so sorry a paparazzi went after you and didn’t delete pictures, and I hope no one else is dickish to you. I also wouldn’t mind a Oahu meetup, you are my hero dude.

  4. I suggest that from now on, you carry an Emergency Paparazzi Kit, consisting of ridiculous costumes to start putting on when you spot a cameradouche. Giant, colorful feather boas, pimp hats, oversized sunglasses, silly wigs, and clown shoes are some examples. Get creative. When you see someone whip out a telephoto lens, start adding costume pieces and changing them out every couple of minutes until said pap gets frustrated and goes home. If nothing else, it will be fun.

  5. Okay, first, this was a brilliant idea. Second, I soooo wish you had splashed a shot of HIM all over the Internet. Imagine how much fun your fans would have had being creative with a shot of that guy. And third, the mystery of the day is: exactly how many shots of you did he NEED? Even of Anne, who looks amazing; I’m sure she looked pretty much the same in every one of the billion shots he took. Maybe he’s so dumb that he thinks if you want a hundred copies, you need to take a hundred pictures.

    1. I’m actually glad he didn’t splash an identifiable shot of him across the ‘net in return; the paparazzo was a dick, but retaliating that way (i.e., an attack on the paparazzo himself) would’ve been a dickish move too. Especially given the ‘pack of rabid hyenas’ mentality that an internet mob can take.

      Releasing your own vacation photos, however, is a perfectly normal move; plenty of people toss them up on Flickr or Facebook or Tweet the best photos or whatever. The fact that doing so happens to devalue any photos this guy took just seems like an added bonus!

      So, it’s a non-dickish way to ruin the guy’s day.

  6. Y’all are much better people than I am. I would’ve approached the guy like I wanted to be nice and shake his hand, and then I would’ve grabbed his gear and tossed it into the ocean.

    Sure, I’d be behind bars right now, but I’d probably get off scott free as I’m not famous, so my privacy is (apparently) more important than yours.

  7. I’m also from Hawaii and I can confirm that we have an unwritten law/rule/guideline not to f%ck around with tourists and especially not celebrities. Sounds like the guy was being a major dick. Mahalo for visiting!

  8. You’ve probably heard about this already, but your story reminded me how Daniel Radcliffe dealt with paparazzi during Equus.
    “They were outside the theatre every single night, but we came up with a cunning ruse. I would wear the same outfit every time – a different T-shirt underneath, but I’d wear the same jacket and zip it up so they couldn’t see what I was wearing underneath, and the same hat. So they could take pictures for six months, but it would look like the same day, so they (photos) became unpublishable. Which was hilarious, because there’s nothing better than seeing paparazzi getting really frustrated.”

  9. People amaze me.
    The paparazzi seem to think that they are entitled to do what ever they want and you are basically an object to them.
    But good on you for not taking his crap. :) At least you got pissed off on a really pretty beach! Have fun.

  10. Wil, I’d love a reply. This honestly isn’t a troll, it’s not an angry impeachment, and it’s not aimed exclusively at you. This is something I’ve been wondering at for a while.

    Isn’t this part of the game you’re playing?

    You’re in the business of being Wil Wheaton™, you earn money by being famous. It’s a little different from a writer or journalist who contributes to the public culture, while staying out of the limelight themselves, in your case (and many others), you actively court public attention. In no small way, it’s how you earn a living.

    If people didn’t think you were a really cool guy (which you are), and want to be friends with you (which we do), then you wouldn’t enjoy the popular caché that you -erm- cash in on. You’d likely have to find a different line of work than being famous for being you, as you allude in your opening line about being on vacation from being you.

    Instead, you cultivate that fame. You tweet to and you interact with your fans, and really everybody wins. You work hard, you create a ‘good’ that people want to spend money towards getting more of. The fans get to live vicariously through your life (a very natural, very accessible, and very down to earth life at that, which makes it all the more special to share from the other side of our screens).

    You earn by creating a demand to ‘consume’ the persona you create. Of course that demand will result in people wanting more of you than you may want to give.

    That’s the rub though isn’t it? Every job has its downside. A janitor doesn’t like unclogging a shit-blocked toilet, but it’s part of the job he signed up for. I see paparazzi very much as the metaphorical shit clogging the toilet, ruining the quiet time that even celebrities need to themselves. But, as they say, shit happens.

    I think you handled it brilliantly. This isn’t a harangue that ‘you shouldn’t complain, you should be grateful’. The First Amendment of the Internet sanctifies the right to complain about any goddamned thing, and this one surely is a good reason to gripe.

    I suppose my motivation for writing this is twofold. First, what do you think about the above? I’m not the first person on this side of fame to think this way, but I’ve not heard a lot of celebrities speak to the notion.

    Second, I wonder if it might help you to keep the above in mind when this sort of shit clogs up life’s toilet. It was perfectly understandable that you felt sickened and violated. But I can’t help but wonder if you can take a more zen approach to this. “Yeah, this sucks, but in a way, this sort of thing permits me to have the career I love.”

    Anyway, I’m a big fan, and I’d like to say thanks for sharing your crazy, funny, nerdy, amaze-balls life with us. Also, I’m glad you were able to bounce back with a fun idea to foil the turd-blocker with the camera.

    MrTemple
    Age 33
    Vancouver, BC

    PS: I liked you even more before this past April.

    1. Obviously I am not Wil, but I wanted to reply and say that even the janitor cleaning up a shitty blocked up toilet gets to have some downtime with his wife. And it’s IMPORTANT to do so, too. If celebrities went on vacation and just jumped to make friends with and pose at every chance they get, they wouldn’t be taking a break, they’d end up exhausted, and even more so, their families wouldn’t appreciate it and would eventually leave. Wil isn’t JUST a celebrity, he’s also a husband, father, dog owner and a bunch more, and he has responsibilities to those roles as well.

    2. OK, I’ll bite.

      Let’s accept your premise that having pictures taken is part of Wil’s job (it pretty much is) just as cleaning toilets is part of a cleaner’s job. What’s just happened is, the cleaner’s on holiday, and someone’s surprised him with a dirty toilet to clean. And made his wife clean it too.

      Some people have a requirement to do their job whenever it arises – if a doctor sees an RTA, they are required to offer to help, because that might be the difference between life and death for someone. If the president is on holiday, and Canada invades Washington, he’ll get a ‘phone call in the middle of the night. Wil isn’t in a profession where if he refuses to do “surprise work,” people start dying. He’s subject to the same rules as the cleaner of your own analogy: I’m on holiday, clean your own toilets. Brah.

    3. Mr Temple

      I don’t know Wil, never have, probably never shall. I don’t know ANY famous people in fact. This is because I see them on TV or in a movie or on stage and I think, wow. they really worked hard to entertain me (whether or not they succeeded) and I know that like me. after a days hard work they want to go home, switch off, have a beer, play with the kids and go to bed.
      I laugh at them or with them or cry for them or hate them whilst they are in their ‘persona’, but I hold with Coleridge’s ‘willing suspension of disbelief’ in that, once the show is over, I go back to the real world and allow them to go back to theirs.
      I don’t feel that they owe me anything, I don’t feel that they are my friend, I don’t REALLY hate them (except for the Scientologists among them maybe), because the pretence that we created together, in that they pretend to be a character in the midst of a crisis, romance, space flight etc and I pretend to be a fly on the wall observing them, is over.
      I am a normal rational human being who understands this relationship. However there are millions of people walking around who don’t understand this relationship. They feel they have the right to metaphorically ‘rummage through the bins’ of famous people. They don’t understand that the show is over. They want to see photos of inside the house, they want to see the rich and beautiful looking fat, drunk, ugly, badly dressed etc because it makes them think ‘wow – they’re just like me, maybe Angelina and I COULD be friends.’

      This whole argument ‘Oh well if you live your life in the limelight….’ is the biggest pile of horseshit I have ever heard (and I am not accusing you of supporting it). What if they do? does that mean that they have sold their life and soul to anyone with a long lens? Of course not. If I get a call from work, out-of-hours I can choose not to take it. It doesn’t mean my boss then comes to my house and shouts through the mail box. I have a right to switch off. Why do those who choose to live their life in front of a camera not also have this right?

      As a species we are nosey parkers. just look at the plethora of ‘reality’ shows on TV. We like to pry and stick our noses in. the Paps, the TV programmers, the newspaper editors; they all know this. So instead of making quality TV shoes they get a bunch of pretty people, stick them in a house for six weeks and periodically press their buttons.

      The photographer was right. He WAS just doing his job. Just like a freak show owner, a snuff movie maker, a porn director, cigarette manufacturers, drug pushers, human traffickers etc etc. As long as their is a market for it, you’ll find it on the streets. You (I assume) and I and many right-thinking people know that it is wrong for Wil and his wife to be chased round with a camera in their private time, regardless of whether or not he is Wil Wheaton(™), Wil-Corp, Wheaton Enterpises or any other business, based on self promotion.

      As long as the airheads of this world think that ‘what Sigourney had for breakfast’ is actually news, this practice will continue. Its not just that one pap on the beach, its the whole screwed up social structure that we live in where people who save lives on a daily basis are paid a pittance and some guy who can kick a ball in a straight line gets 100k a week. Its madness and its not showing any sign of stopping. There is a saying ‘Don’t hate the player, hate the game.’
      My arse! Hate the players, hate the game, hate the audience, hate the promoters, hate the publishers – they are all as bad as each other. Any moral person would think ‘ah, there’s Wil Wheaton on a beach’. They would probably cast furtive glances at him, hoping he might say ‘hey dude’. They could then take that story home and share it with their friends or on blog. They most certainly wouldn’t take out a long lens camera and start clicking off shot after shot in the hope to sell them. No, that takes a very special kind of parasite!

      Maybe we should start a movement and Wil could be the figurehead. Everyone who believes in equal privacy for all should get a t-shirt with a picture of Wil and underneath it will simply say….

      Jesus, people just give the guy a day off when he wants one!

    4. Your analogy is off. I know of exactly zero plumbers who would be happy if you intentionally clogged a toilet on their vacation just so they would come around and unclog it for you. Also, Wil and his family don’t get paid for pictures taken by the stalkeratzi.

      Famous people are people. They are on the job when they are on the job (podcasts, red carpet events, etc.), and they are off the job when they are off the job.

      If a famous person is signing autographs or on a red carpet, then approach them if you can. If they’re on a beach/street/in a restaurant/etc. obviously trying to enjoy themselves and be a normal human being, then leave them alone. It’s common freaking sense!

      1. I like your spin on the analogy, but I think the reality of paparazzi is different even from that. Imagine you had someone following you around outside of your work environment whose sole goal was to gather evidence of you effing up, then publishing that evidence for the whole world. People who take pictures of celebrities for HOURS are not waiting for the light to get more flattering. They are waiting for a bikini string to slip, or for someone to hit just the right slouching posture that makes them look 20 pounds heavier. Their livelihood (and yes this says something a bit unpleasant about us as the general public) depends on them “exposing” people.

        So a plumber paparazzi metaphor extension would be more like a turd that clogged your toilet at home and then posted an online rant about what a shitty plumber you are if you let your own toilet get blocked.

    5. Mr. Temple,

      You’re trolling and breaking Wheatons Law all over the place here.

      When people are engaged in doing their job, they are paid to do certain things, sometimes unpleasant. Doctors stick their hands into gooky parts of other people’s bodies. Janitors, as you point out, unplug toilets. Actors (and politicians, athletes, other famous people) are generally expected to react to completely asinine invasive behavior from reporters and photographers with grace and poise. Those are all things those people do WHEN THEY ARE PERFORMING THEIR JOB.

      If I invite, say, a janitor, a physician, and, say, Larry Bird over to my house to watch the Superbowl, when they’re in my house I will take all three of them to not be on the clock. They are not excersizing their professional capacities, they are at my house to take part in social intercourse and have a good time, eat nachos, drink beer, and complain about the calls the refs are making. If there’s a break in conversation, I might ask any of those people what they love most about their job; it’s a reasonable conversation tack. If it made sense within the context of the conversation, and others in the room seemed interested in sports talk, I might even ask Mr. Bird specific questions about playin for the Celtics, since that might be interesting for everyone in involved.

      However, I WOULD NOT ask the physician to take my blood pressure, I would not ask the janitor to unplug my toilet if that became a factor, and I would NOT ask Mr. Bird to go out to my driveway with me, get sweaty, and tutor me on my jump shot. It would take him away from the party and demand that he spend time paying attention to me and do something that’s completely inapprpriate for the social situation.

      It’s just a matter of common sense. Be cool. Think about the situation. Ask yourself, if the situation was reversed, would you want a complete stranger to approach you and say how much they loved your work? If the person is behind an autograph table–fair game (once it’s your turn in line). If they’re picking up their kids at school–not a good time.

      And it’s important to realize that even within somewhat professional situations for a famous person, there may be times it’s not appropriate. If even a famous guest is at a con, and they standing in a corner, eating, trying to avoid eye contact, that’s probably not the time to ask for an autograph. I heard (Neil Gaiman’s story) that Stephen King doesn’t go to cons any more because while he was on the toilet in a rest room, someone shoved a book under the stall wall and wanted him to sign it.

      If someone is on vacation, on a beach, minding their own business, I think it’s safe to say that it’s not reasonable to be taking telephoto pictures of them to cell to whatever horrible shitbag “publications” that print such photos.

      Craig Steffen
      @gevmage

    6. My longer comment went into moderation limbo, but here’s the gist.

      No.

      Anyone has the right to not be “on”, to be able to go into social situations and not be harassed. It’s a matter of basic common sense and decency to your fellow humans (including and especially famous ones).

      Don’t be a dick.

    7. First off, Wil has not only the right but the absolute duty to bitch about this guy. We, the fans, demand it. There’s a reason we like him. He’s funny, smart, nerdy, and complains about things HILARIOUSLY! We love it; we eat it up. Second, I think when people like you and I think about paparazzi following us around and taking our pictures, it gives us a secret little thrill; the idea that someone would care about us that much. Now, imagine, REALLY imagine, someone following you for hours, unknown to you, taking pictures for God knows what purpose. It’s creepy, right? In real life, we call those people stalkers and get restraining orders against them. Just because Mr. Wheaton’s profession happens to involve him being in front of thousands of people on a fairly regular basis, it isn’t considered stalking, it’s considered the photographer “making a living”. Brah.
      Also, Wil brings up a good point. No offense intended to anyone, but not many people can identify him by sight in this country. Maybe a few more can identify him by name in a, “Oh, that kid from Star Trek, right?” kind of way. I don’t think he honestly expected for this to happen, which is probably even creepier.
      And, last point, I promise, I can’t imagine people secretly taking my picture for almost 30 years. The whole thing is gross.

    8. I think the real issue is that Wil’s privacy is being violated because his fanbase wills it. No pun intended. If the general populace was unwilling to invade is privacy by purchasing this stuff, none of these photographers would have any motivation to take the pictures.

      Kinda strange that, ultimately, the people that love Wil are the ones responsible for this “discomfort”, but it’s natural, I suppose. So many of us are bored with our lives to the point that we live vicariously, albeit intrusively, through other people, and create a market for this kind of stuff.

    9. Naw, I’m going to disagree, at least in part. This aggressive Parasitism by todays paparazzi is beyond the pale. He’s not complaining about fame, he’s not complaining about someone taking a couple shots. He’s complaining about stalking. I don’t buy the argument that a condition of fame is to submit to the whims of every fuckhead with a camera.

    10. For the sake of argument, say I’m a plumber. (Full disclosure: I am not a plumber.)

      Your analogy of paparazzi taking the cosmic dump would go like this..

      Being a plumber is my job; I work from 9am to 5pm, and during that time, I unclog toilets and fix broken sinks. When 5pm is over, I have a reasonable expectation of ceasing work, going to a bar, and hanging out to watch The Game™ and cheer for the local sports team to do better than the team that is not local. Your analogy would mean that it’s ok for someone to walk into my personal space on my personal time and demand I unclog the bar’s toilet. If I chose to exercise my rights as an autonomous human being and decline that demand, you’re implying that people would be within their rights to get angry at me, because have I not chosen to be a plumber? I could be pleasant, and if the bar’s owner was a friend, I might be willing to do some off-work plumbing; much like I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Neil Gaiman do spontaneous signings at DreamHaven Books, as he’s friends with the owners and likes to help them out. But as he also famously put it, “[celebrity of choice] isn’t your bitch,” and there really is no excuse for paparazzi to exist, full stop. I don’t care how famous you are, you have an inalienable right to privacy and alone time same as the rest of us.

      Hopefully you see the central fallacy to your argument. Wil has indeed chosen to take a job that risks him being front & center in some people’s mental lives. But it is nevertheless a job. It may not be a 9-to-5, 2 weeks’ vacation, occasional company picnic type of job, but it is still one in which he has a reasonable expectation of being -off- the job to enjoy personal time, which this douchef*ck intruded upon, pardon my Brah.

      I sympathize with your feelings – I do find myself shaking my head at obvious fame whores (who have no problems with ‘razzi and do everything in their power to stay in the spotlight, dignity be damn’d), but Wil routinely conducts himself with integrity and aplomb, and folk should leave him the blinkitty-blink alone.

    11. Mr Temple,

      I find you make a valid point by saying that it indeed is Wil’s job to be a public figure. The point is: it is a job. And with any job there should be a line between it and the private life. Noone should be available 24/7 for his employer. I would also consider that there might be a difference between the persona ‘wil wheaton’ and the person Wil Wheaton. We tend to forget that because Wil’s goal seems to be to be authentic and himself. Still, by COMMUNICATING TO the public he creates a version of himself FOR the public. That doesn’t mean the public owns him 24/7. And by saying “this is the shit-side of the business” we’d shrug our shoulders to something that is in essence wrong.
      Best,
      Felix

    12. Yep. I’m with MrTemple here. While I don’t think paparazzi should hide in the bushes outside your house and take pictures through the windows, this was a relatively public place (or, if a private beach, not a very well-protected private beach!)

      Can’t really have it both ways, Wil. If you want to be a celebrity (even a minor one), and get to meet cool people, do cool things, make the world a better place by selling your “Stand By Me” DVD for charity, etc….well you couldn’t do that if you weren’t famous. No one’s paying $1000+ for any of the DVDs I find in MY garage!!

      But the good comes with the bad. Nobodies like me don’t have paparazzi finding us on the beach. Occasionally, they wil find you (see what I did there?) and I think it comes with the territory.

      Now. (And I say this with great respect for you as an actor, blogger, and writer.) Is this paparazzo going to be able to sell Wil Wheaton? Does Wil Wheaton move copies of the Enquirer, Star, People, etc.? Not sure that the readers of those magazines really want to see Wil Wheaton on the beach. So this may be a problem that solves itself. :)

    13. Speaking as a non-famous person, this thought pattern is part of the problem. The People have gotten it into their heads that They Have A Right To Know. Every detail of someone’s lives, every dirty little secret, every juicy tidbit that can be gleaned, all are fair game because of this Right To Know.

      But there is no Right To Know. There’s only a perception of entitlement, a total lack of courtesy, and Me First attitude that has pervaded Western society like a plague.

      Famous people have plenty of venues where they are more than happy to interact with The People. Conventions, public appearances, all kinds of places where they are prepared mentally to give The People what they ask for, be it autographs, photographs, sound bites, what have you. They know this is the price of being Someone Famous and they pay it. I actually applaud Wil in his tenacity an skill in this area; my wife and I had books signed at the Santa Anita Mall a few years ago and the warmth and personal interaction was far more than I’d ever personally expect from Someone Famous. (Thanks very much for that Wil, it made my year.)

      But those who are Someone Famous are also human. They NEED personal time and space or they will go off the deep end, because that’s how the human mind tries to cope with excess stress over extended periods of time. That is why so many of the famous turn to substance abuse, alcohol abuse, are in need of behavioral health treatment, etc. They get no down time, because The People won’t give it to them. The People scream, “Me First! We Have A Right To Know!”, and standing up to this treated as if it’s just part of the price of being Someone Famous.

      I, for one, prefer to give them the courtesy to have lives outside of being Someone Famous. Because if the shoe was on the other foot, that’s what I’d want given to me. And I think most of The People would feel exactly the same way if they bothered to think about it that way, treat others as you would like yourself to be treated.

      Otherwise, we’re just asking for a society where no one has any privacy, where it’s a constant struggle to put Me First because everyone is trying to do the same thing, and the stress of it all drives us all over the sanity cliff. And while it does kind of look like that’s where we’re heading, The People are by no means at the point of no return yet.

    14. I agree that it’s worthwhile to think about this issue and try to understand what the difference is, although I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask Wil to tell us what it is, since (a) it’s never appropriate to challenge people to defend their feelings, and (b) by asking him, you’re implying that he’s a hypocrite, no?

      I’d say the difference is this: Whatever Wil _chooses_ to share with fandom is up to him. He and Anne get to control what the public at large see and hear and read about them, in the context of their private lives. They can be open and sharing and engaging with the fans, or they can be private, as private as they please. That’s _their_ decision. We’re not entitled to get in their private space.

      If Wil or Anne became a politician, they’d still be entitled to private lives, but they’d also be entering a grey area, where one’s personal character could be considered relevant to their role as a public servant, and the press could better justify an intrusion into their private decision-making, although this would still be questionable. If Wil or Anne became a famous athlete, etc., and hence a role-model for children, some would still try to justify intruding into their private lives, but it would probably be even less ethically justifiable than for politicians.

      As it is, Wil is an entertainer and Anne is a law-abiding private citizen. Wil could hole up entirely when he’s not at work and still do his job perfectly well; there’s no case for intruding in his private life. And Anne should be completely off limits for the press except where she explicitly invites them in.

    15. Being an actor — heck, let’s go with ‘being famous at all’ — doesn’t somehow negate your right to private time with your family.

      If I happen to see Sid Meier at a bar with friends, does that mean I can run over and start asking about what his next game will be or making suggestions for Civilization VI? I mean, that’s ‘what he signed up for’ by putting his name on the games he designed, right?

      If I see John Scalzi in out on the beach with his family, does that mean I can dash over and start asking him to tell me a story, because, hey, he’s a well-known storyteller and that’s what he signed up for?

      Yeah, there’s nothing illegal about this. Nor, actually, should there be, because I think (as a photographer) the fact that I can damned well take a picture of anything on public property, whether or not the person consents, is a *really important liberty*. Imagine if law forbade taking photos of people in public without their consent; a cop pepper-spraying an old woman, or casually spraying a bunch of unarmed students, would never grant that sort of consent.

      But there’s nothing technically illegal about the other two examples I gave, either. (Unless there’s a restraining order involved, I guess.) It still doesn’t mean they have to just grin and bear it. Some probably will, on the grounds that — as you say — it’s part of the territory for many. Others might not, especially if other folks are involved; someone might react very differently to being fame-stalked themselves (“Ugh, this is part of my career, I suppose”) than to having their child/spouse/parents stalked.

    16. No Mr. Temple, just no. There is a time and place. Wil does plenty of appearances at conventions, comedy clubs, events, etc. If people want pictures of him that is the time and place to do it. When he is actually “on the job”.

      Personal vacation time with family is exactly that. Personal. Vacation. Family. Time.
      Some people need to learn to respect that.

  11. Wil, you are amazing (and your wife’s not bad either) even with holiday/beach hair, but that’s no excuse to invade your privacy. I’m afraid I have to respectfully disagree with Mr Temple. It doesn’t matter who you are, you should still be entitled to your privacy. Yes you are famous, talented and sexy (ahem!) but that’s not good enough reason to shove a telephoto lens into your personal space. Invading your holiday is not in the public interest even if the public are interested in you.

    Try to enjoy the rest of your holiday dude. You deserve it.

  12. That’s so weird that he thanked you, as if trying to validate some crazy idea that he had your permission. I’m sure the pics you’re sharing with us are way better than any he took :-)

    1. His whole tone and attitude was very smarmy and bullying, like he wanted to really shove it in my face that he’d been taking pictures of us for hours.

  13. So sorry your vacation was interrupted by a self centered jerk. But guava PB&J has always meant Hawaii to my wife and me ever since our first visit. Hopefully the flavor memories will linger long after the anger fades. Hang onto the good stuff!

  14. Bad news Wil, you’re actually THINNER than most of the guys on the beach these days – at least at Virginia Beach where I lived for 13 years, and for that matter most of the rest of America (you’re just jaded by being around Hollywood anorexia all the time). Where I live now is just full of even larger retired guys.

    Glad you beat them all to the punch by posting photos first! Even after all these years I’m still upset about how the paparazzi killed Diana. I’m all for doing anything you can to frustrate their purpose. Besides, it’s about time we changed the rules. Most “real” people love to see their celebrities in their natural state, without makeup or spanks or any other number of body changing torture devices. We love them for the people they are and whether they appreciate us, not for whether you can look like a super model. Leave that toxic part of society to Joan Rivers. You’re a better role model for what people can make of their lives and the happiness they can achieve by doing the right thing.

    1. Wil,

      You may know better, but it would seem to me that you may need to go a bit further and specifically give permission to any magazine or website wishing to use these photos. Not that I can imagine many sites wanting them.

      And to those who explain away this fellow’s actions by virtue of the game Wil is in – this is somewhat understandable, but is it really fair to hang around for that long?. Turn up and take some photos and get the fok out there.

    2. What? You weren’t even doing anything interesting, like nude sunbathing or having a violent, intoxicated brawl? Aren’t you going to share your pics of that? lol

      Actually, thank you for being able to find a way around that situation with grace & humor. I wish more people were able to, and then soon you wouldn’t have to worry about some dick taking pictures of you when they weren’t welcome.

  15. Annoys me that these kind of photos even pass for “news”. These parasites need to start actually working for a living rather than hiding out in sunny places snapping people as they try to grab a few hours of normal life. But I guess their mental abilities limit their journalistic options somewhat! It takes actual talent to write something people want to read.

    Your small rock just killed his enchanted bunny. :)

  16. If the general public wouldn’t even buy them rag mags in the first place those pieces of shit wouldn’t have the job to do anyway. It’s the public who are to blame for this crap.

    I’m sure if people would ignore the rag mags at the shopping check out sales would be so low payment for the pictures wouldn’t be worth anything making these scum bags find better jobs that don’t intrude on others privacy.

  17. I hate that stupid “I gotta make a living” excuse. Yeah, but you could do something less dickish, “brah.” What a fuck. Which reminds me. You could try the Marilyn Manson approach and write curse words on your face, making the photos unprintable. Heh heh.

    Enjoy your time with your family.

  18. Good Morning Wil. I hope the rest of your vacation goes well, and you don’t have anymore intrusions. Sadly, exploitation for money happens everyday to millions. Photos are one of the parts that the famous get to experience. I feel bad for poor Kate Windsor.

    You have a beautiful wife and a great career, and from what I can see a good life. You look good for forty. Of course we could all look better if we make the effort, but then we’d have to take time out of our nerdy pursuits!

    “But we chose Horde!” The Panda says.

    “You chose wrong.” – Panda Exterminator

  19. You’re obviously not one of the “famous” celebs. Famous celebs don’t eat PB&J when they’re on vacation. They go to ridiculously expensive places to see and be seen and spend $60 bucks on a salad.

    A few weeks ago, some celeb boyfriend and girlfriend were being stalked by the paps, and they held up small signs touting their favorite charity. It kind of ruins the paps photos….and if not, it advertises a good cause. May I suggest a small sign advertising the Wiggle Waggle Walk??? :) :)

  20. The most stupid part about this is that the vast majority of people that would want to see pictures of you on your vacation wouldn’t want them to be paparazzi pictures, they’d be people who already follow your twitter. It’s cool that you posted pictures there. It’s nice to see you having a good time and it’s annoying and sad to hear that your vacation was dampered. Seriously where is this guy going to sell his photos? The people that read the types of magazines and websites he’d sell them to aren’t going to know immediately who you are and aren’t going to care about pictures of you on your vacation. How the hell is this even a money-making proposition for him? I don’t understand!!!

  21. It’s phenomenal that you guys are getting away for awhile & enjoying the sun & surf, hope ya’all are having a fantastic time. I don’t want to “speak for anyone,” but I think the idea that you had, “Well, no, that guy isn’t taking pictures of me, why would he be?,” is just a little naive. You are famous ;) People gonna take pictures, haters gonna hate, and those of us who are your fans are happy to go along with your ride, ups & downs and all arounds. Should douchey – mc – doucherson be interrupting ya’all’s one vacation you’ve gotten in years? Hell’s no. It is what it is, though. Creepy as it is, (especially with Anne there, I’m sure that protection instinct kicks in,) at least he was backed off to a “respectful” distance & not up in ya’all’s face “TMZ-style” … I love that you guys took the situation and made it into something awesome. You’re truly lucky to have a lady like Anne who can roll with all this, I hope the creep didn’t frighten her too much.

  22. Personally, I would have probably paid someone to “accidently” pour a pitcher of lousy lite beer on him and camera if he was sitting out in the open like that

  23. You are soooo not flabby. Is that what you’re trying to do? Make all of us 40+ geeks feel bad? Shame on you. ;)

    Seriously love the way you handled it and hope your vacation gets even better.

  24. I always thought Anne was gorgeous from the few photos you put up on the blog. And in a real way, not a plastic-person-in-a-magazine kind of way. These pics just confirm it… You both look great! Hope that guy buzzes off and makes nothing.

  25. The bit that I’m wondering is: who exactly is that paparazzi going to sell those pictures to? It’s not like the gossip mags are chomping at the bit to get the hottest Wil Wheaton scoops; the audience most interested in seeing Wil Wheaton vacation photos are us nerds, who generally don’t really go in for privacy violations.

    Literally the only possible use for these photos I can think of is if one of those gossip mags are going to run a collage of ‘celebs on vacation’ in which case fuck you paparazzi guy for perpetuating bottom-of-the-barrel filler in gossip mags.

  26. Yuck – what a d*ck! I’m really sorry that happened to you – and I’m also sorry for that jerk, that he couldn’t take the generous opportunity he was given to make a different choice. I hope that you can get back to enjoying the rest of your vacation! (I saw these pictures and thought – they look like they’re having a great time! And, holy heck, I think my husband has those swim trunks!) Anne continues to shine through as an awesome human being.

  27. Its got to suck to be famous but not rich. You have to deal with all the crap parts of fame, without the resources to create privacy. Enjoy the rest of your vacation Wil and Anne.

  28. I have a fun story about the beach you’re standing on. I was in Maui about a year and a half ago. My wife and I were on a weight loss kick and I’d dropped about 25lbs. This turns out to be important.

    I am a scuba diver, and we were there with family so I took the opportunity to introduce my brothers-in-law to diving and signed them up for a beginner class that dives just off the beach a little ways from where you’re standing.

    We gear up at the nearby hotel parking lot and walk out into the water and swim out to a bouy and proceed to have a nice dive. Either on my way out, or on my way back in my wedding ring (now 2 sizes too big for my finger) slips off my finger and to the bottom of the ocean.

    I proceed to be completely oblivious to this fact for the remainder of the dive. My wife and her sister had camped out a spot on the beach very close to where we swam out for our dive. So after we get back, my brother in law decides to go snorkling just off the beach. He comes back about 20 minutes later holding a ring. My wedding ring. He’d found it at the bottom of the pacific ocean a mere hour or two after I’d lost it and before I’d even noticed it was missing.

    Saved my ass.

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