because it’s the recliner my nephew deserves right now

When my sister found out she was having a boy, she and her husband decided not to tell anyone in the family what name they had chosen. I had to agree with this course of action, because I know how … strongly opinionated … some of the grandparents can be about things like names and also everything else in the world.

But I didn’t feel right just calling him “the baby” or “your baby” or “the tiny human growing inside your body”, so I decided to call him BATMAN.

Amy pointed out to me that if they named him BATMAN, she and her husband would probably end up shot behind a theater. I was pleased that she knew the history of The Dark Knight, especially since they are decidedly not nerds like me (they’re sports nerds), but had to correct her. “That would happen to you if his name was Bruce,” I said. “BATMAN is pure awesome and that’s what I’ll call him for his whole life.”

By wonderful coincidence, one of her friends got my nephew his very first easy chair for his 1st birthday last week:

His shirt was a birthday gift from his godparents (that’s me and Anne).

He’s probably watching the show with the creepy talking tractor who talks to farm animals, because that’s my nephew’s favourite show that isn’t creepy giant rats who sing and dance. Seriously, you guys, what the shit is going on with children’s programming? Are they trying to capture the Stoner/Burner/One-Year-Old market all at once or something?

No matter. He’ll be ready for Doctor Who and Star Trek and Firefly soon enough, hopefully before he outgrows his chair.

25 thoughts on “because it’s the recliner my nephew deserves right now”

  1. As children’s author, let me just say a resounding “YES!” Children’s programming is attempting to attract the dual toddler/stoner market.
    If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense though. Both populations live with their parents. They are both fascinated with moving colors and they will both eat anything they find in the couch!

  2. The now three year old loves Dinosaur Train. I don’t even know what that is. I just know it makes her leave me alone for 26 minutes so I can clean the kitchen or make dinner. The new ones keep getting called Baby A and Baby B and it feels so … cold and boring. I can’t think of any female superhero twins to nickname them. She-hulk sounds mean. Maybe Storm and Rogue…
    I too, agree that the previous comment needs some upvoting.

    1. Dinosaur Train is a little weird but awesome. My 5 year-old daughter wanted to go the local paleontology museum for her birthday because of that show. It was awesome.

  3. I can just pinch myself every time I write on your blog. I am such a trekkie. Okay I don’t own the uniform but I have never missed an episode of any of the incarnations. Your sister is very lucky. I have a friend who was a huge Wizard of Oz fan. His nephew wore ruby slippers until first grade.

    I must ask what is with the British spelling of “favourite?” Aren’t you American born?

  4. I was remembering Magic School Bus the other day. Actually, it was my oldest’s 18th, and I may have been having a moment of crisis. Anyhoo, I was thinking what the hell those field trip permission slips must have looked like.

    Also, is it weird that I want to nuzzle my nose into Batman’s elbow dimple?


    I’ll show myself out now.

  5. When my now 9 year old was in utero, we kept his name secret too, for similar reasons. We called him Spartacus (this we pre-crappy-subscription-cable-tv-series-Spartacus). Still do, sometimes. But it’s hard to find a cool Spartacus recliner for your 1 year old.

    And Mimi78: Don’t worry. My 9 year old loved Dinosaur train from 3-5 or so. Watched it every day, although we generally wouldn’t let him watch a lot of the stuff that was on TV, Dinosaur Train passed the sniff test. He ended up knowing more about dinosaurs than either my wife or I, and last year he spent a day at a dinosaur dig-site in Wyoming. Far from shortening his attention span, it helped convince him that spending 8 hours in a hole with tiny digging instruments looking for bones was a good way to spend his time on vacation. And now he’s discovered Star Trek TNG, much to my delight. Dinosaur Train’s alright: your kid actually learns things, and you get a chance to catch up on the other stuff.

  6. Super cute! My niece and nephew watch a lot of Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I have so much trouble wrapping my head around the pirates being good guys, but I try to let it go because most of the things they watch make no sense to me.

    One of my best Aunt moments? Getting my 5 year old niece to sit down and watch Alice In Wonderland with me. Up next – Donald in Mathmagic land!

  7. 6 months ago my 2 year old was all about Thomas and Cars, then I gave him some old Star Wars figures (don’t worry, not the good ones). Now we find ourselves in line at the grocery store and he is explaining to the clerk how Anakin is Darth Vader because he fought with Obi Wan and got burned. As I’m trying to type this and eat breakfast he is demanding that I “lightning” him like the Emperor. I didn’t find Star Wars until I was 5 and my Mom STILL can’t figure out the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek… I’m glad I can be here to contribute to my son’s geekdom.

  8. My nerdbaby is two, loves his Bazinga shirt, wants to be Darth Vader when we play Star Wars, loves Thomas, will say “Thundercats HO!” and “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum” and his favorite band is the Doubleclicks. He also likes to call his mommy and daddy “nerd.”

    What is this scary children’s show you speak of? Thankfully we have not seen it around here.

  9. At around your nephews age, our son loved watching the intro to Star Trek TNG because of the Enterprise “whooshing” by every 30 seconds or so. Your sister should give it a try.

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