regarding confidence, compassion, and bullies

Last year, at Denver Comicon, I answered a question from a young woman who was having a hard time at school, because kids were being cruel to her. She asked me if I was ever called a “nerd” when I was in school, and how I handled it. Here’s my answer:

This seems to be going viral today, and made it to the top of the front page of Reddit yesterday, where her mother commented:

That was my daughter. She and the girl that bullied her are cool with each other this year. They aren’t in the same class, though. This year has been a good year, but she noticed another little girl in her class kept getting picked on by the other students. She became this girl’s friend and stands up for her when the other kids are being mean. We’ve talked about this moment a lot. After this panel, she paid to get her picture taken with Wil. He actually hugged her!

In the same thread, her father weighed in:

That was my daughter that asked that question. This was a magical moment for the whole family. What you might not get from the sound of all the applause is that there wasn’t a dry eye in the room after this. Mia met Wil again briefly at the Kansas city con this year, and he was as gracious and cool as you could have hoped. They talked about minecraft, ballet, mistakes, and silliness. Wil Wheaton, you are an honorary member of this family and I hope you know that you have made a real impact on Mia and the rest of us silly nerds. I wish you nothing but the greatest success. Oh yeah we love Tabletop too.

I’m so happy to learn that she and the girl who was mean to her have changed that relationship dynamic, but I’m so incredibly proud that she’s standing up against bullying with other kids in her school.

I really try my best to be the person I want other people to be. I don’t always succeed, but when I see things like this, and hear from people who have been touched or inspired by something I said or did in a positive way, it reminds me how important it is to do everything we can to be awesome.

Speaking of being awesome, please enjoy this picture of her that her mom put on Reddit last year.

UPDATE: via Medium.com, a transcript:

When I was a boy I was called a nerd all the time—because I didn’t like sports, I loved to read, I liked math and science, I thought school was really cool—and it hurt a lot. Because it’s never ok when a person makes fun of you for something you didn’t choose. You know, we don’t choose to be nerds. We can’t help it that we like these things—and we shouldn’t apologize for liking these things.

I wish that I could tell you that there is really easy way to just not care, but the truth is it hurts. But here’s the thing that you might be able to understand—as a matter of fact I’m confident you will be able to understand this because you asked this question…

When a person makes fun of you, when a person is cruel to you, it has nothing to do with you. It’s not about what you said. It’s not about what you did. It’s not about what you love. It’s about them feeling bad about themselves. They feel sad.

They don’t get positive attention from their parents. They don’t feel as smart as you. They don’t understand the things that you understand. Maybe one of their parents is pushing them to be a cheerleader or a baseball player or an engineer or something they just don’t want to do. So they take that out on you because they can’t go and be mean to the person who’s actually hurting them.

So, when a person is cruel to you like that, I know that this is hard, but honestly the kind and best reaction is to pity them. And don’t let them make you feel bad because you love a thing.

Maybe find out what they love and talk about how they love it. I bet you find out that a person who loves tetherball, loves tetherball in exactly the same way that you love Dr. Who, but you just love different things.

And I will tell you this — it absolutely gets better as you get older.

I know it’s really hard in school when you’re surrounded by the same 400 people a day that pick on you and make you feel bad about yourself. But there’s 50,000 people here this weekend who went through the exact same thing—and we’re all doing really well.

So don’t you ever let a person make you feel bad because you love something they decided is only for nerds. You’re loving a thing that’s for you.

120 thoughts on “regarding confidence, compassion, and bullies”

  1. Thank you! I was picked on mercilessly in school. I ended up with an eating disorder and on the verge of suicide. Thank you for telling that little girl that she is NORMAL and cared about.

    May she not have to learn that lesson the hard way, as I did. I am okay now, thanks to a combination of counseling and becoming a part of the adult world.

  2. As a parent, I really hoped that I wouldn’t come across bullying with my girls. My oldest made it through elementary school and middle school with not very many incidents. I was sure that my smart and outgoing younger daughter would also make it through without incident. I mean, I had her in kung fu, after all. Don’t they always say to learn to fight back? Doesn’t that teach confidence? Well, she was bullied anyway, mostly by another little girl. Once that door opens, it’s so easy for other kids to join in. Psychologial bullying can be more damaging than physical, in many ways. That’s what I hadn’t prepared her for. I thought we were good to go, but I was wrong.
    Wait, there’s another piece of advice that’s common: just ignore them. I tried that tactic with her, at first. She’s just jealous of you, sweetie, that’s why she calls you ugly. She’s giving you mean looks and spreading lies about you, because she’s jealous. That’s all. The boys are just teasing you and calling you a nerd and laughing, because they have a crush on you. Etc., etc., etc. She withdrew. She became increasingly hopeless about everything. She began to internalize everything, and the taunts became her inner dialogue. She doubted herself no matter how much I tried to lift her up. It didn’t work. We had to try something else.
    I talked to her teacher and told her that my daughter would be keeping a little journal of things she was having problems with. If you see her writing in it, please let her. My daughter was too embarrassed to approach the teacher. It was hard for her to put down the hurtful words and taunts, at first. Many days, there wasn’t anything in her journal. But, it was at least weekly that something would happen. We talked about each incident. We took the journal to the teacher and the principal. The teacher had no idea how bad it was. Of course, her bully denied things before, but here it was, written down with details of when it happened, what happened, and who, if anyone, witnessed it. It was something that couldn’t be denied. Both my daughter and the girl that was taunting her the most met with the principal and the counselor on separate occasions. It started helping. After another incident, they ended up calling in the girls’ mother. Shortly after, things got remarkably better. She kept up the journal a little bit longer. Things were getting better for her, so she began to write about what happened to other kids. We continued to talk about it. For each incident, it was: How do you think this made them (the victim) feel? How do you think they would’ve felt, if someone stood up for them? Was this kid that was causing problems having a bad day? What could you have done/said to maybe help them?
    She doesn’t get bullied anymore. Now, she sticks up for other kids who feel like they can’t do it for themselves. She loves this video. Wil’s point is dead-on: It’s not you, it’s them. For us, it was just finding the right way to make that click for her.

    1. the journal idea was brilliant. that needs to become standard operating procedure in all schools. congratulations on being an awesome parent!

  3. I can’t THANK YOU enough for the video’s of you saying “How awesome it is to be a nerd” and your answer to the girl’s bulling question. I have a 10 year old son who has high functioning autism. He’s been bullied and picked on for years. From being called retarded, stupid, geeky, etc. He was even once told by a kid in 1st grade that he would be better off jumping out the buses window. I just showed them to him and he responded with “I guess it’s cool to be different and a geeky nerd!” for his love of comic books, reading, science, space, dinosaurs, and Doctor Who (which he is currently watching as I write this). Now he wants to watch you in episodes of ST:TNG. I think you have a new big fan, although he did say that you are still not as cool as David Tennant :) If you are even in Pa for a convention, he wants to shake your hand and say Thanks! Again, I can’t thank you enough for showing it’s “cool” to be a geek/nerd and it being OK to be different. I can tell him this, but sometimes you have to hear it from someone other than Mom.

  4. Having been bullied quite severely at school over a number of years I can totally understand what Wil is saying, sadly though and for me this certainly was the case all too often it is only when you are much older and wiser that you come to realize that there is nothing wrong with the person you are, liking the things you like is ok, being different is cool and there are millions of other people out there that are different but the same as you so well done Wil for trying to make a difference with your honest and heartfelt words, if just one person is positively effected by your words then that difference is made. You show a true understanding of the word respect and there are a few so called big name stars out there who could learn a thing or too from you!

    1. ^What Pete said……There is nothing wrong with loving what you love… and celebrating it….A few times I was able to bring a bully out of bullydom and into the other camp of “THIS IS AWESOME!”………….
      Wil Wheaton would be a great lead speaker for “Don’t be a dick, be awesome” campaign. Most people need to hear this…..
      good information is good.

    2. I agree with Pete here.

      I went through severe bullying when I was in school over things I liked, and because of how I am. I wish wholeheartedly that I had this advice back then when I was younger. It would’ve definitely helped me through that turbulent time in my life.

      Often, that bullying sticks with a person for a LONG time afterward, as I know very well. To hear these words from Wil, it’s helped me too, so thank you, Wil.

      To the young woman who raised the question about being mistreated in school, please take that advice to heart. Admittedly, it royally stinks when you’re going through bullying, but there is ‘a light at the end of the tunnel’ as the saying goes. Don’t let anyone rob you of that.

  5. Way to go Wil. Made me cry too. Your articulate, thoughtful response was a pat on the back to me and a poke in the eye to those that tormented me. Bless you for making such an incredible response. It deserves to go viral. Nerds run the damn world – we make shit WORK.

  6. You are simply awesome. This is the greatest lesson to teach, and makes me admire you not as an actor, but as a human. (oh and a fellow linux geek).

  7. Hi wil. This video of what you said is really all over the internet, it’s even on eonline.com. I tried to make it go viral last year on my Facebook page but no one really looks at my posts (even my “Friends”) although I look at theirs often. I am so, SO glad that your answer to how to deal with being called a nerd is now getting all the attention it deserves because I have always felt you gave the best answer EVER and everyone should hear it. I have always been a fan of your’s and am very happy you’re getting the work you deserve. I watch TableTop a lot and I can’t wait for the network announcement of your new show. You and your family deserve all the happiness. Wishing your all the best.

  8. Sorry for the misspellings and the lower case on your name. For some reason I couldn’t correct it. So, Wil, wishing you all the best and more.

  9. Thank you for taking time to be human and give a compassionate and thoughtful response. More celebrities can do well be taking some lessons from you.

  10. That video was great Wil.

    It’s such a hard thing to deal with in schools today. Up here in the Bay Area, I’m proud to say I’ve been involved with Project Cornerstone. Project Cornerstone is committed to helping all children and teens in Silicon Valley feel valued, respected and known. One of their biggest issues is to stop bullying and to have other kids stand up for other kids who are being bullied.

    I’ve volunteered by going to a local school and reading to a class of elementary school kids. I learn their names, read to them, and then do something fun with them. THAT’S IT! but it makes such a huge difference in their lives. I first did it 5 years ago, and one kid from the class I read to came up to me about 2 months ago while I was out with my family at a restaurant. He remembered me (and I remembered him) and it was a really nice moment.

    Take time to be nice. It’s not hard. And you’ll get way more back in return. Hopefully, other counties have programs like Project Cornerstone. They make it easy to get involved. It’s up to the adults to model good behavior, the kids will then just do it instinctively.

  11. Wil,
    I am not the kind of person who leave comments but, at the risk of being redundant, that was one of the most heart touching, sincere and important talk about “being a nerd” I heard.
    I am a Brazilian guy, who grew up in the land of soccer. I used to play soccer a lot when I was a kid… but at some point, I discovered that I liked science better and also that I sucked at some sports. On top of that I was a twin (my brother is also a nerd) and we were two years ahead in school. That was enough to hear a lot of bullying. Luckly, my parents and older brothers were very understanding (our parents got our first electronics magazine when we were 7 and my older brother gave us Adam Osborne’s Microprocessors two years later) and supported our “crazyness” (for the 80′s kids standards). I grew up loving studying, designing circuits and programming (even some hardcore stuff)… In my elementary I had lots of (real) friends in high school because of this!
    The worst time in my life was my early teens… I began feeling down when some relatives started talking behind my back: “they don’t live, they vegetate…” just because my brother and I didn’t like clubbing, getting wasted, etc. Once again my close family was very supportive… Also we entered university when we were fifteen… I found lots of different kinds of nerds and finally embraced my nerdiness! Older friends who did not want nor need to bully younger ones helped a lot. My grades celebrated (sometimes not so much) and hobbies were admired. I found my gang there. My twitter motto now is “Self-proclaimed nerd and gadget geek”. My boy is going a similar way… Loves videogames and is trying to learn some programming. Also have excellent grades, specially in math and sciences.
    Bottom line is that what you did to that girl is what matters most. To show her that being a “nerd” is not wrong nor weird. To show kids that it is ok to do whatever you love and not regret a single day. What all nerd kids need are anti-bullies like you: older people to be their role-model (outside family… there is always that feeling that mom and dad might only be protecting…). Let’s hope that girl find her gang to put her up again!!!

    Sincerely,

    Hardy. (Rio de Janeiro, age 40)

    PS: I was not much fond of Ensign Crusher, but I am becoming more and more fan of Wil Wheaton! (hope Sheldon Cooper does not read this :-D)

  12. Hi Will,
    My Grandson was called a nerd at school and I just have to share his response. He is 10. Another kid comes up to him and says “you’re a nerd!”, no doubt hoping to get a response, or to hurt his feelings. Without batting an eye, and no coaching from anyone, he replies “Thank-you!”, with a big smile. The other kid, says, “No, being a nerd is bad.”. Grandson replies patiently, “No, nerds are the smart people. I’m going to go to school to be an Engineer, and you’ll still be selling French fries :) ” I must confess, at 53 I probably still couldn’t handle a bully as well as him. I do want to thank you for your well thought out answer to that question, it was very inspiring. Beautiful!

  13. Mr. Wheaton, if I ever make it to a con, I would love to shake your hand sir. Excellent job putting words to something that takes years to learn without guidance. Speaking from the standpoint of a nerd from WAY back, it wasn’t easy being a nerd. It still isn’t.

    Anyway, you are one of the few actors I consider to be a positive role model. Of course, most of the actors I think of in that manner are previous Star Trek actors, so…..

    1. and THIS is why my Wil Wheaton crush endures to this day!!!
      I am having my Doctor Who bow tie wearing, Minecraft playing, STtNG watching 9 yr old daughter watch this tonight.

  14. Seriously the best speech I have heard on name calling! It was so disheartened when in K5 my son was being called “brainiac”. Luckily for me he had no clue what the word meant — so I simply told him it meant he was smart. He did pick up on the tone and asked why it sounded like a bad thing when the other kid said it. I told him because the other kid wanted him to feel bad for being smart and that is something he should never feel bad about and told him to simply say “thank you” to the other child. Sure enough it stopped for awhile and eventually they became friends and it was an inside joke between them. But to have it start at age 5 just pains my heart…. children should still be wonderfully innocent at that age. I am saving your take on this for when he is older and mom’s words just don’t carry as much weight….THANK YOU!

  15. @Will you have been blessed with talent, and a huge medium with which to influence others. It is amazing to see that you use it in such a positive manner.

  16. Every young nerd should hear this – fantastic!

    It’s interesting, even as someone in their 40′s I still get crap from people at times – I wouldn’t call it bullying, really, but I work in an office full of other women who like to giggle and tell me how stupid the things I like are – ‘grownups’ don’t like videogames and D&D and certainly don’t obsess over Doctor Who or Supernatural. Oh no – like every last one of them, I should love Pampered Chef and those gross warty looking Pandora beads and American Idol. Now, if they all truly love those things, more power to ‘em, but I can’t help but think it’s still just that instinct to form a clique and try make fun of the person who’s different.

    The difference from my childhood? Not a fuck does adult me give. I just smile and refuse to be ashamed of what I love. I hope that they all know the same type of joy somewhere in their lives that I’ll feel when I walk up to the doors of Pax East in 2 weeks and see the ‘Welcome Home” sign.

  17. Very few things make me happier than seeing successful people use their power for good. Thanks for making the world a better place one swell act at a time.

  18. Will,

    I’m a middle school math teacher and I had to share this with my students today–watching it Sunday night was the highlight of my weekend.

    About ten years ago, I used to play in the weekly WWDN (sp?) poker tournament with you and about 50 others on a pretty consistent basis. Glad to see you are still doing well!

  19. I was bullied throughout elementary and high school for being smart. I am now a freshman in college and moved to the other side of the country. While the bullies are working in fast food or are in college partying (and failing) their lives away, I am now a student at Embry Riddle Aeronautical University in Prescott, Arizona, studying Aerospace Engineering. Moral of the story: don’t let a couple of bullies keep you down. Kill them with success and let them eat their words :)

  20. Thanks for speaking up about this, and encouraging this young one. I remember the nightmarish hell that I went through in 7th grade and wish the advice I was given was yours instead of “tough up and deal with it”. I really had no help from any adults back then. When I had the chance to move from Wyoming to California with my mother after my parents divorced, I jumped on the chance to start a new life. I turned out okay and the bullies are none the wiser. :)
    Plot twist–one of the bullies also moved to California and irony of ironies, attended the same school as me. I may blog about that story someday.

  21. Wil – You’ve become the wise father of the internet. Your comments are much appreciated.

  22. Hi Wil,

    I have been a Trek fan since day one. I have to say when TNG came out, I thought your character was a little clumsy, yet I’m glad they put you in. I have watched TNG (& VOY) so many times, it feels like I could almost tell you the episode. Then last year while riding the Sounder in to Seattle on my way to work, I started watching every episode of VOY from the beginning to the end. And then again with TNG (I have six eps to go)… but, this time I looked at them differently – in the same manner one guy did on ST:V The Final Frontier, when he actually said the movie was really good if you take the scenes apart and judge them on that merit.

    I really digressed… All of that was to say… Regardless of what your character looked like, or sounded like, it was a good decision to put him in because of how the “nerdy types” could be portrayed in the future – accepted, successful, valuable members of society, and good at what they can contribute! I fortunately, was not bullied all through my school years. But I saw many who were and kind of felt bad for them. I did actually stand up to a few and they backed down (except the one I had picked up and pushed against the locker room wall), but I was not a really big guy but I wasn’t small either. I don’t know why I was left alone… maybe I just tried to get along with others and always looked for that opportunity. Your answer to the little girl was spot on. Look past the immediate and look towards the future where things are more real.

    I also have to say, that after watching TNG in an almost uninterrupted manner, I don’t like the way Crusher was dealt with. He was not explored enough, and it makes it seem as though the producers wanted him to just go away. To bad, there could’ve been some good progress/storylines made.

    I follow you on G+ so, I see your stuff from time-to-time. I can’t say I’ve seen you on BBT or anything but I just wanted to chime in on your video.

    Take care!

    Ed

  23. Huh. Awesome points, though I’m not sure I can really go there with you. After all, though I’ve found you to be charming and interesting, by your definition you bully me. You bully me about my beliefs, call me names and make me out to be some evil person though you’ve never met me. I’m Conservative, Libertarian, and you haven’t seen fit to be as kind to me as you claim others should be to nerds. The names you call, the things you say, they are done without understanding, without conversation. So, though I can’t live in a world where words like yours don’t hurt, I will attempt to remember that it isn’t me you are angry with and attempt to ignore your cruel remarks.

    You are still charming, and I really enjoy the part of you that you give to the world, I just have to call foul on this one. Shame, really…

    1. Just curious about this sentence….”So, though I can’t live in a world where words like yours don’t hurt….”
      What is the option? Which world do you live in?
      Or did that mean you can’t pretend words don’t hurt?
      I got a bit lost on that sentence…Explain if you do not mind.

      1. Wil’s comment to the questioner is that he couldn’t give her any ways to make the comments not hurt, as his hurt me. I live in the same world as she, and as she has no way to make the words not sting, nor do I

    2. Libertarianism is a catchword a lot of people use who want the government to do what they want it to do and nothing else. Libertarianism in its purest form wants minimal government that does almost nothing. Wil wants the government to leave him alone but give everyone health care. Well, it has to be paid for somehow, so getting left alone is no longer an option. His compassion is laudable, but the methods are not so much. As for him bullying conservatives, I couldn’t find anything about that, but I imagine if he did have anything harsh to say about them, it would involve the conservative penchant for wanting their beliefs to be enshrined in law, no matter who that might hurt. Like progressives, they believe they know what is best for everyone. Both are wrong and need to learn to live and let live.

  24. I already shared a comment here about my “Supergoof” days which was only one example of what I went through. But, I wanted to share something that I forgot to mention then.

    We all do/like something that someone else is going to consider “nerdy” or “stupid. Every single human being on the planet has that. Whether it be a type of music, genre of film, or whatever. If you like something odds are someone else isn’t going to.

    The thing to remember is that’s exactly what makes the world go ’round. Imagine a world where we all liked the same thing. A world where there was no variety. Pretty boring, huh?

    I know kids don’t always get that but adults have the capability to and teach it. Doesn’t stop them from making their comments. I’ve stolen a phrase that I heard on the TV show “Necessary Roughness”. “Don’t yuck my yum”. Don’t pick on what I like and I won’t pick on what you like.

    This is just how I see the world through my askew rose colored glasses.

  25. I should share my own kiddo’s experience. He is now 7. and at age 6, he was called a nerd. They told him he is a nerd because he wears glasses. He said, “No, a nerd is a really smart person who is made of awesome… like my mom”. Proud mom moment. When selecting numbers for his baseball team, he requested the number three. I asked him why he picked three. he told me, “Because, Momma, third the nerd”.

  26. Mr. Wheaton, what an inspired answer to a tough question, not just what was said, but also how it was delivered! I grew up on Star Trek, and as a “nerd”, found one of the most attractive aspects of the series was how the world (and society) was depicted. The human race had grown beyond so many of the petty grievances (poverty: gone, racial BS: gone; …etc.) that still plague us today.

    Yes, I was so naïve I actually believed society would have already begun to approximate the optimistic world portrayed in Star Trek by the time I grew up (it just seemed so logical); but alas, I was wrong.

    However, watching your response to that young lady has rekindled my youthful optimism, and I thank you for that. You truly embody the optimistic spirit of Star Trek and I believe (and hope) your example will inspire others to follow suit.

  27. I reckon you need a t-shirt version that says, “Don’t be dick, be awesome.” I’d buy it. :)

  28. Thank you for your sincere answer, you are an example to us as a geek community. Lucky me I wasnt bullied a lot, but I was Judged as different and weird, now I feel proud to be different.
    Regina

  29. Had to come here after I saw this on Facebook and tell you I think I love you. In all seriousness, that was awesome.

  30. Hola:
    Gracias a este video una amiga mia se siente mucho mejor consigo misma, y es que son las palabras que esperó escuchar cuando era niña. Te estoy eternamente agradecida por haberla aliviado retroactivamente. Muchas gracias. :-)

    (traductor de google)

    Hello:
    Thanks to this video a friend of mine feels much better about herself, and that are expected to hear the words as a child. I am eternally grateful for having relieved retroactively. Thank you very much. :-)

    google translator

  31. what an amazing answer to give young Mia Will. i was heavily bullied at school when i was younger and i wish i had someone to give me an answer even as half as good as what you gave Mia, even though i’ve been out of school for 10+ years watching this clip still helps me out.

    Thank You

  32. I was an incredibly introverted nerd as a child. My dad liked photography and to build Heathkits & weather stations. We went to NASA for vacations. As a girl, it was kind of a double-whammy to be from this house where makeup wasn’t a “thing” and science arts were the focus. I think one of his proudest moments was when he caught me teaching myself to solder in the garage.

    In high school a girlfriend of mine committed suicide because she felt so alone. Even though we were friends, we were a small pack in a very wealthy Houston high school where football and cheerleading were all that really counted. When we were all together, we were strong and happy. But there was much of the day when we had to fend for ourselves.

    Every chance I get, I tell my daughter’s friends that high school is just a blink of the eye in the grand timeline, that their perspective will become so much broader once they leave, and to be strong & kind to themselves.

    My high school friend never had a chance to know how good life would be and how those very loud voices would barely be whispers in the back of her head. It breaks my heart that she was robbed of so much life because of the cruelty inflicted on her sensitive, beautiful soul.

    I think this response was amazing, compassionate, and articulate. Very well-said. Thank you.

  33. I am a mother of two children that have had their struggles at school with being picked on and excluded. I also remember being picked on when I was at school. When I saw this video, my jaw dropped. I could not believe how flawless your answer was. You were so well spoken and your message was perfect. I showed my kids the video and they immediately remembered you from the Big Bang Theory (our favourite family show). Needless to say they were impressed. Thank you so much for saying what you said. More celebrities need to give speeches from the heart on this topic just like you. I am very proud of you!

  34. Wow! Every time I watch this video, I get chills. I took my sons to the Denver Con and we were lucky to meet both Wil and Anne. They both spent time talking to them, and reinforced just how cool it is to be a nerd/geek. As parents we constantly mention how we are proud geeks, but to see someone famous state that it’s cool to be nerdy, that takes it to a whole new level for them.

    Tonight, we had an incident where our youngest was gaming online and used a word that he didn’t even know what it meant. I was horrified. We don’t use those words in our home. We sat at the kitchen table and discussed different ways people can be hurt by words alone. But how else could we make him see just what ramifications words have on others? We used this video as a teaching tool about just how much it can hurt when using ‘mean’ words to describe someone for something they cannot change about themselves. And we discussed ways to defend himself or stick up for others who are dealing with name calling.

    A long ramble, just to say thanks Wil. For being who you are. For being such a compassionate human being. For being a teacher to others even if that wasn’t your intent. And of course, for making it cool to be a geek.

  35. This is currently happening to my 6th grade daughter. She is a sweet, sensitive, quiet child who loves school, ballet, and Girl Scouts. This bully was actually one of her friends. Even though she hasn’t seen this video yet, she will be watching when she gets home from school. We’ve had the counselor and assistant principal involved to no avail. I think this will help her tremendously…thank you!

    1. Nella, I am the mom of the little girl in the video. My daughter loves ballet, too! Minecraft, mostly, but she fits in ballet when she can. What really helped Mia is that I told her teacher that she would be keeping a little journal of everything that was going on. Have her write down when it happened, where, what was said, and who, if anyone was around. Tell her that it might be painful to write it down at first and that none of it is true. It might help the both of you to talk about the stuff written down after school, too. Sometimes, it’s hard for kids to say the mean stuff out loud, and you can just read it and talk about it. Mia’s teacher had no idea how bad it was. It will be easier, too, when you go to the prinicipal with written documentation of what happened. We only did this for a couple weeks before the principal and counselor started to see that it was a serious problem. Make sure that the school administors know that you will not let this problem slide. I hope for a quick resolution for her and you. Good luck to you and your little girl.

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