i feel really weird right now

This morning, I took my dogs out into my backyard, and watched them run around. A warm, almost hot Santa Ana wind blew leaves off the trees, and the dogs kept stopping to smell whatever mysteries the wind brought with it.

About 18 hours ago, I walked to center ice at Staples Center with Bob Miller and Jim Fox, and threw a pie into Greg Wyshynski’s face.

I know that doesn’t mean much to most of you, but it was such a surreal experience for me, I have to write it down so I can know that it was real.

In about 30 hours, I’ll walk out in front of an audience and thank them for coming to the first ever taping of a show I helped develop, that I write, produce, and host. At the moment, I’m making twelve episodes of that show, but there’s a non-zero chance I will get to make more.

In about 48 hours, I’ll get on a plane and fly to New York, where I’ll spend three days doing one of the things I hate most in the world: talking to the press to promote something. I prefer to let the work speak for itself, but before I can do that, people have to know that the work exists. It’s a first world problem, to be sure, but not something I’m looking forward to doing.

I miss writing narrative stories on my blog, and I suppose I should be embracing the fact that I can’t, because I’m so busy working on creating things. I’m happy for those things, obviously, but I still miss the simple joy of sitting down in The Quiet of telling a story and writing it down.

Tabletop Season 3 is the most successful crowdfunded webseries in history. We finished last night at just over 1.4 million dollars.

Everything is really awesome and amazing, and I feel really weird right now.

100 thoughts on “i feel really weird right now”

  1. It’s because your doing stuff yiu love :-) brain gets weirded out what it’s having fun and working :-)

  2. What you’re feeling is a dream coming true.

    You’ve earned this, Mr. Wheaton. sorry, I don’t feel comfortable calling you ‘Wil,’ because we’ve never met. But I’ve watched your career and dude, I say this without reservation, you’ve earned this. Rock on.

  3. Break a leg.

    I wish I could be there (really. I asked my wife if I could go and she just gave me “the look”). I look forward to watching it from the couch. Naked.

  4. I’m glad you are in the midst of an embarrassment of riches right now, Wil! Enjoy the good times and hug your loved ones!

    1. Embrace the weird! As the notorious Hunter S. Thompson once remarked, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”

  5. Well, if you feel some stress, taking vitamins of group B.
    Drink lots of water. If you’re dehydrated, blood does not flow to the brain faster.
    Sleep well. Lack of sleep causes accidents and errors. Takes chamomile tea with a little oregano.
    You’ll feel better.

  6. Please count your blessings for the sense of feeling weird right now. I know I missed some opportunities a while back and if life’s taught me anything, it’s to seize those opportunities now when they surface all-too-rarely in the present moment! God bless and Good fortune to you, Wil!

  7. I thought Wil was going to tell us that the world is about to end like some sort of Nostradamus prediction or something.
    Phew! I can now go back to bed.

  8. The success you’re having honestly couldn’t happen to a worthier person, Wil. Enjoy the weird, you’ve earned it! xx

  9. I’ve been reading your books, your blogs, have listened to your podcasts and watched the YouTubes of your panels. I have absorbed a good deal of information about you over the years. Even though I don’t “know” you, (and certainly not in the biblical sense) I think I understand the weirdness. Having been in “The Business” since a very young age, you have been witness to the fickle attention of that community. They build people up only to seemingly relish the opportunity to later, tear them down. As a result, you build up a wall of protection so that you can never be harmed by them again. A very natural reaction! In offering your creation, in which you have poured your vision and engaged your heart, you are vulnerable to “them”. Knowing how it works in that town, perhaps the weirdness is waiting for the other shoe to drop. You have had to recover from disappointment before and it wasn’t easy! But in life, to really get the most out of any journey, it is best to fully engage all of your feelings! To experience joy, we have to risk the pain. And I believe it’s your turn to receive professional happiness now!! You are so worthy!!!!

  10. In following you for I don’t know how many years (well I guess starting with TNG), it seems you have been, like many of us, seeking your center through your family and your work, through many ups and downs, again like many of us. By continuing to do so, it seems you have found it, and with it, success. Congrats.

  11. Just don’t be like some people that get to the top and have no clue what to do when themselves when the top slopes down for a while. You are a talented multi-faceted person, you were bound to have some awesome stuff come your way. Embrace the awesome and the normal. :)

  12. Enjoy in the success of the things you have created. You deserve it. And when the little deamon of doubt rears it’s ugly little head, always remember to tell him to shut the fuck up.

    Now go kick some ass!

  13. While I really miss the narrative pieces I believe in the old adage “before you can sit down and right you must stand up and live”. You’ve written of your life to now… now it’s time to live a little. I’m sure a time will come when you’ll write again. Until then, bank up those experiences until there are enough for another book. Enjoy the ride.

  14. I have often said that given time, people eventually collapse under the weight of their own incompetence. What’s not as certain, but wonderful when it happens, is good people getting what they deserve.

    Congratulations, Wil. Like many others I’ve enjoyed being able to follow your career and life arcs. The good fortune you’re experiencing is well deserved. Good for you!

    Luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.

    As a last note, the words of Gordon Moore (founder of Intel Corp.) – “Don’t be burdoned by the past. Go out and do something wonderful!”

  15. I am part of a family that has suffered so much from depression and suicides, that to be in a room with them is frightening. I have never known a group of people so much in denial, that there is no acknowledgment or support for each other that it bloiws my mind.

    Me, 43, clinical depression with suicidal ideation. I just buried my mother in January from what I believe, was complications due to depression. You can’t only be part of the world for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, and in bed the rest of the time, and survive. My wife walked out on me, no explanation, just up and left two weeks after my Mother’s death. Suicide, someone I grew with committed suicide shortly before my mom’s passing. I have lost a great aunt and a grandfather to suicide. My great grandfather died in an institution before I was born. And despite all, I see a group of people willing to sacrifice your life for their sanity. And here I sit, isolated, alone contemplating my own death. My wife does check in on me from time to time but not to talk. In this short time she has filled for custody and divorce. And I truly don’t understand but I just want the thoughts in my head to stop and I want to escape the deafening sound of silence.

  16. Congratulations on all of the exciting things happening in your life and career! You are a wonderful role model for the philosophy of “Do what you love, love what you do.” You deserve all of this success. You have worked hard for it.

  17. Hey Wil, I totally get what you mean. Success is ALWAYS weird to geeks, nerds, dorks, and the various sub-types; Taking a lot of crap for being who we are, only to SUCCEED (often beyond our wildest dreams) is the sweetest form of cognitive dissonance — but it’s dissonance nonetheless.

    You’ve paid some serious dues, worked on a lot of personal crap, worked hard on your projects and injected them with infectious passion. You EARNED this dude! Savor it, remember who you are, go forth, and don’t be a dick. Unless someone REALLY deserves it, and you can record it for our amusement. ;-)

  18. Wil,

    Sounds like you are “In the Now” – Great place to be. I would highly recommend that you take a look at Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” – Great book for helping process moments like this.

  19. This is a better weird than what most people have when they make that statement, congrats on that. I’m speaking for the all the slightly weird out here.

  20. You spent a lot of time laying the groundwork for all the great things that are happening to you right now. You also know that there are no “overnight successes.” Enjoy the moment. You earned it!

  21. It is 100% ok to feel weird. Hope you get through all the interviews ok — I’m sure you have coping mechanisms that you can use. I saw a link on MSN about your Tabletop fund raising – yeah! I’ve been introducing (slowly) new games to my boyfriend. So far it is a neutral on Mancala and a thumbs up on Mexican Train Game. Baby steps. Baby steps.

  22. Don’t think of it as having to talk to the press. Think of it as using the press as a conduit to real people who want to know about your projects, right from your lips. You are the Master of the Press! They are your Minions! Hail Hydra!!

    I may have said too much…

  23. You have arrived at a new stage in your life. Naturally it will be odd for a dream to turn into a reality. Or look at it this way: you and an Away Team have just beamed down to an uncharted planet. Will plants and animals react in the same way as they do on Earth? Some, of course, will look like one thing (the familiar) and react like another (the unknown). Unlike Capt. Kirk, we don’t have a team of red-shirted Security members to take the hit for us if someone (not realizing how amazing that we are) takes pot shots at us or our project. But it’s important to keep going on. We’ll be rooting for you but if someone else’s idea for “success” eludes you for now; just remember the words of Davy Crockett: “Make sure that you’re right and then go right ahead.” Best wishes on your Life Trek. Now go and make it so.

  24. Happy weird. Good.
    Remember, we exist first then all the other stuff we do after is gravy.
    Please post some pics of your dogs. Cheers, Donna

  25. when it rains, it pours…weirdness and awesomeness!!! so excited for you and your new creative ventures :) thanks for sharing the moment with us.

  26. I don’t usually comment, but when I saw the promotional ad for your new show, I was so thrilled. I’ve met you, but don’t personally know you, but find I am so proud of you and all the success coming back around to you. You will be great, enjoy it.

  27. I’m so pumped about the new RPG show. Is there ANY chance we could get Ashly Burch to revise her role as Tiny Tina and be the gamemaster? (In fact, if you’re talking to developers about a custom game, what about a paper Bunkers & Badasses game? Lots of extra money for 2K and lots of hysterical fun for the fans!)

  28. There’s nothing wrong with you, Wil Wheaton.
    It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
    And society has a way of forcing us to live against our true nature, just to survive, let alone succeed.
    Money isn’t your motivator, so muggles really don’t understand your need to do with your talent as you need and prefer.
    We get snagged into going off our personal goals to move somebody’s money, when we’d much rather contemplate and to save humanity from itself.
    …or boost those with a backup plan to do some good in the world.
    When doing your mountains of bitchwork, you may say to yourself,
    “Ya know, I could be out saving an alternate, human-friendly universe right now…”
    Being adjacent to many high achievers and one who’s capacity exceeds her edumacation, I feel your stress and frustration.
    Jim Beaver beats himself up on the regulah …so, you’re in good company.

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