70 thoughts on ““I’m full.””

1. I’m suffering from this. And also, i leave my friends when i have this feeling… but you managed to put words on this feeling. “i’m full”, indeed, it’s what i was feeling & why i was leaving.

2. Great idea, I have certainly had the feeling but never used this language to describe it. Going to use it for awhile and see how it works.

3. I’d be really careful about this though. I’ve been noticing a trend where people are using mental illness as an excuse to show no consideration at all towards others, when just 5 minutes before, they were totally capable of giving a rip about how their words affect those same people. My last ex used to use the line, “I’m done with you now.” It felt like he was treating me (and others) as if we were all his personal prostitutes or something. He never mentioned anything about depression or other problems, and when I asked him about that, he claimed there was nothing going on, this is just how he is, and I could take it or leave it… Eventually, I just left it and him because I couldn’t take his stone-walling (which led to a huge fight, where he acted like an uber narcissist, etc etc etc) and I just had had enough of feeling like I was being sandblasted every time I was with him. I had friends who refused to even call me back to tell me they couldn’t help me out with my cats while I was in the hospital for major surgery, and 5 weeks after-the-fact they claimed they were both depressed and that was why they left me (and my cats) hanging the whole time… I don’t really talk to them anymore. It’s no ok to ask too much of others, and I really don’t care what the reason is. Insensitivity has consequences and if people are going to be insensitive, they have to learn to suck it up and take the consequences they earned. Others have lives too, and it’s not alright, at all, to pretend to be their friend, even for years on end, and then effectively pull a Sheldon (only without the heartfelt speech at the end).

   Basically, if you want others to concede that you need time to recharge (everyone needs that — I need it too; I have depression myself and while I self-medicate with relaxing teas that work well for me, that doesn’t mean I don’t ever need my own alone time…), then you have to at least:

   1) Regarding the general concept, be up front and honest with them about your overall need to “fold” and “leave the game” because of your depression or other personal needs (you’re doing that here, which is good). Don’t leave people hanging if you haven’t already told them ahead of time that this is a need you have at times.
   2) Tell them in a timely manner (don’t wait forever to say something about it, if they’re depending on you for something you’ve either specifically agreed to, or generally told them in the past that you’d do for them when they need it).
   3) Find someone else to take your place when breaking promises you’ve made to them, if that’s the case. Don’t just leave them with gaping holes in the plans they made that depended on something from you, when they did discuss those plans with you in advance.

   I’m not saying I think you personally wouldn’t already do all those things; I suspect that you would. But you’d be shocked how many people see posts like yours up there and take those as free license to completely shut down, break all their promises, then stick everyone else with the emotional or even financial bill and expect those same people to still like them, respect them, and “understand” and all the rest. It’s totally dysfunctional when people do that, and it’s just asking to lose friends left and right. Maybe it is an extra 3 steps, and maybe it does take energy some of us don’t have some times, but that’s what adult life is. All of the people I mentioned above were definitely adults and hardly newbs to the adult world. They just didn’t care what they were putting me (and in the one case, my cats) through, they put their own masks on, but then didn’t bother to help me with mine when I couldn’t reach it myself.

   Sorry if all this sounds like it’s just “push back” or whatever, but all it takes are a few bad apples out there and all the sudden, it’s like a person has to remind the world that, when you’re an adult, you still have to act like one, even if you really don’t feel like it or have it in you or whatever. That’s just how it goes, when you want to still have the respect of people you claim you still care about. I don’t know how else to put it, really. I just know that I’ve always done the above 3 steps when having to check-out for a bit, because I give a rip about what my choices are putting others through, and I recognize my responsibility to minimize the impact of my doing that to them. They shouldn’t have to pay for it dearly just because my social-batteries are getting down below 15%. I’m a real friend to those I keep in my life, and I wouldn’t just “power down” on them without at least giving them a notification at 15% – just like a frigg’n cell phone (with the right apps installed, of course).

4. That’s a great term for it. I “get full” a lot faster than most of my friends. There are a few introverts in our friend group so they understand when we say we can’t handle social interaction right now. It really is draining.

5. Thank you once again for an incredibly insightful and honest post that definitely resonates….as an empath, I often experience that feeling of fullness or too much, and unfortunately not everyone respects or understands that…Like many have already responded, I read this at a perfect time, while reflecting on situations where it’s too peopley for me, and how others either react supportively or not…

6. I can empathize with you. I have a T-Shirt for just such occasions that says “Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come”

   1. I have one that says “Introverts Unite! Separately. In your own homes.” I got one for my mom as well. My introversion comes quite naturally.

      1. That’s funny! I have a similar one that says “Dyslexics Untie!”

7. Love this. Sometimes it just gets to a point where I just sit there silent while my friends interact around me. I just start feeling like I can’t interact with them anymore. Kind of like there’s absolutely nothing I can add that would be worthwhile. By the way, I’m mad that you lived in Topeka Kansas and I never met you. How the heck did that happen?!

8. Just bought fury if Dracula wil , cant wait to have game night with friends , Hope there is a new season of tabletop coming our way . peace out

9. I wanted to let you know that I showed this to my 16 year old son and spouse. We go for a long period of time where we, as parents, are sensitive to our son’s mental needs ( anxiety and depression ). Then we go for so long without an incident that we forget to use coping techniques. This was a great reminder that we needed to step up again and make sure we go over his plan to excuse himself when he needs to.

10. Ummm, hello! I got here trough Felicia Day. I really didn’t know who you are so I made a Google search and holy moly! Star Trek Legend himself! Among the many other TV shows and movies! You have a wonderful day and life!

11. I definitely feel this, it’s like I want to stay out and make friends but it saps so much energy

12. Oh I get it. Energy vampires exist in my life and I have to stay away from them for long periods of time.

13. I apologize for necroing this, but was catching up on Wil’s posts and this one struck a chord. A week after we passed through Gilroy on the day of the shootings–and talked about staying over to check out the garlic festival (but didn’t), we were tooling around the US surfing open in Huntington Beach and I realized I was having a panic attack. I am not prone to those. I am not sure I have ever had one. But there it was, and I told mi esposa I really, really needed, to… just leave. No questions asked, she agreed, and on our walk back home I told her what I was feeling. Those checking the calendar have already noted this was right after both the Dayton and El Paso shootings. She listened to me, and said “You may want to stay away from the news for a few days.”

    It could also be we were with friends who were wandering around aimlessly and I had stuff I needed to do at home. Dunno.

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