Category Archives: blog

Comments From The Wife

I’m going to start by saying that I am so lame when it comes to computers. I don’t even know how to turn one on. In fact, I’m pretty bad with any electronics. When the daylight savings time happens, the clock in my car is off by an hour for six months. Before meeting Wil, my VCR was always flashing 12:00. Pretty lame huh?
My friends tease me for having a husband who can build his own website, yet I have to ask what a BLOG is. You get the picture. So when Wil told me that he put on his website (he has to read me his entries and prints out responses for me to look at) that he wanted to do something cool for me for putting up with all the time and energy (and MANY profane words) he has put into building and maintaining his site, by doing sort of a “donation box” for a gift for me, I was so touched by this. So touched, in fact, that I had Wil set up this whole little deal here so all I had to do was type what I want to say. And boy, do I have a lot to say. I’m so excited. I feel like I finally have communication with this whole world that I only hear about! I know, you’re probably thinking, “what the hell is wrong with this girl? Does she live in some sort of cave?! Well, as a matter of fact, yes. I live in an Atari 2600 world. Simple, yes. Advanced? No. But that’s ok. I have a husband who can look things up for me if I really need to. But it is pretty cool to finally have a chance to have my thoughts about all this heard. So first things first. (Oh and by the way, I still play my Atari. what the hell is this Playstation thing anyway?)
First of all, I was totally surprised when I came home from work today and Wil told me about his “donation box” story. Surprised mostly because I have friends who read his entries everyday, and didn’t tell me he was doing this. But also that there were enough donations that he was able to get me a gift certificate for a yummy day at a spa. Mmm… massage…. oh sorry, where was I? Anyway, these past few months have been very difficult, but at the same time very rewarding for Wil, as he was able to get his site going. You know, I think it has been for me too. Wil would stay up FOREVER working on this, which meant me going to sleep by myself, and work on it every free moment he had. So it’s nice to see Wil so happy with all his hard work paying off for him. He feels like people get to see what he’s really like, instead of what some “I hate Wesley” fan guy has to say. And just in case you were wondering, I had never seen Star Trek until they started running that marathon on TNN or TNT whichever one it is. Wil watched that thing practically the whole time it was on. He kept saying, ” Oh, this is my FAVORITE episode.” ok seriously, he said that like 20 times. But it was kinda funny that he really likes that stuff. Even when he’s in it. So once in a while he’d say, “look honey! There I am! Man does that suit look stupid. Oh man, look at my lame hair!” But he’s all into science fiction stuff, so that must have been pretty cool to be part of something you like so much.
Anyway, his website means so much to him and I think that it’s so awesome that people have responded so well to it. Of course, he tells me about the occasional lame ass that has to throw in his negative two cents now and then. But I guess that’s the beauty of this on-line world. You don’t have to say your shit directly to the person’s face. But I guess you do what makes you happy. I think that Wil tries to not take that crap seriously. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. I never thought that all his time spent on this entitled me to any sort of gift. I have the gift of a happy husband. (I know… gag) Nevertheless, I am extremely touched by your generosity, and I’ll be thinking of you all while I’m having my spa day. Thanks!
On to the next subject. The most recent entry of Wil’s (at least the one he read to me yesterday, and printed out all the responses for me to read) The 7 things you are thankful for today. My list is for today and everyday since I am a dork with this computer and probably won’t get a chance to do this for another six months
1. My husband- his unconditional love for me and for Ryan and Nolan (my men)
- his little love notes in my lunch I take to work or my suitcase when I go out of town
- the way he rubs my ear at night to help me fall asleep
- when he thanks me every time I do his laundry
2. My aforementioned men (Ryan and Nolan)-the way Ryan laughs so hard he can’t sit up (just like I do)
-when Nolan tells me he loves me and gives me a kiss in front of his class (because he doesn’t care what his friends think yet)
-that they both still make me Mother’s Day cards out of construction paper
- they have Wil’s sense of humor, even though they aren’t biologically his
3. My friends- the handful of close ones I have had for years
- the same ones that have to hear the same stories about the bullshit my ex husband is doing now
- the same ones that we take turns taking each other to the airport
- the same ones that go do stuff with me while my husband works on his website
4. My job- that I’m actually doing something I enjoy-something I chose for a career
-that I can make my own schedule so I can be here for the kids or take a day off to hang out with Wil
5. My health and my family’s health- I know that that seems like a typical one, but we have had a lot of death around us recently, so I am truly thankful that we are all well.
6. Chocolate- need I say more?
7. The Simpson’s- now you’re probably thinking “what? does she mean OJ?” No. Definitely no. As in Homer. You see, that show is probably the one thing that makes Wil laugh harder than anything. It’s funny. He laughs so hard he puts his hand in front of his face, but you can still see that the tip of his tongue curls up. Isn’t that weird? I wonder why that happens. Probably the same explanation as me not being able to sit up straight when I laugh really hard. Just one of those things. Anyway, hours of entertainment, that’s all. And the happiness it brings my husband.
I just loved reading all the responses and lists of everyone’s 7 things. Wil is pretty cool that way. I guess that’s why I married him. He’s a smart guy. An honest, funny, loving, caring, wanting to make the world a better place kind of guy.
I think this whole computer thing isn’t so bad after all! Of course, it’s taken me an hour to type all this. No seriously, it has. I think my 10 year old could type faster than I could. I guess I should finish now. I think I’ll go kick Wil’s ass in some Air-Sea Battle- guided missiles of course. He hates that he can never beat me. Then again, I am 3 years older than him. That gives me 3 more years practice. Whatever the case, he’s still getting his ass kicked by a GIRL!
Thanks again for the awesome gift! And please, tell Wil to wear his glasses (they totally look like the ones Corey Feldman wore in Stand By Me… I think he jacked them) while he’s on the computer. He looks cross-eyed when he’s on this thing for too long (which is everyday)
See ya!
P.S. Did Wil ever finish telling you about the Vegas trip back in September? I think that was how all this got started and he mentioned a while ago that he hadn’t finished it yet. So let me sum it up for you…. his sketch comedy show was awesome, William fucking Shatner still doesn’t speak to Wil (but I guess he has since then…Weakest Link thing)….we… I should say I, lost my ass at roulette(is that how you spell that?) and our second-hand smoke filled 5 day extravaganza was finished off by my laryngitis, and upper respiratory infection due to all the damn smoke -illness. God I hate Vegas. I can’t wait to go back. Later!

Flamenco Sketches

Four days off.
That’s like 5 years in internet time, isn’t it?
What a great time it was, though. The whole time we were together, Anne and I kept commenting on how we couldn’t remember the last time we did anything “just the two of us.” After some discussion, we figured out that the last time we spent any time together alone, it was over our anniversary, back in November.
It was really awesome, and a very much needed diversion from “real life.” I turned the computer off on Friday morning, and it stayed off until about 30 minutes ago. And I have to tell you, I am surprised to say that turning it back on was not an easy thing to do…mostly because my poor computer is really on it’s last legs, and it’s painful to watch the poor old girl start up… :-)
Today is a school holiday for the kids, and I was planning on staying home, and hanging out with them, and working longer days tomorrow and Wednesday…but I have two, count ‘em, two auditions tomorrow, and I won’t be able to go into work, so I spent a half day there, finishing up some re-writes that are due in two days.
I really love my job, and I really like the people I work with. I realized as I was driving home today how lucky that makes me. I know so many people who just hate their jobs, and dread going to work, and I am not amongst their number. Sure, it helps that we all play lots of games, but the creative freedom I have on my show, and the visceral excitement I feel when I watch an edit of one of our shows is what really makes the hellish commute worth it.
You know, now that I think about it, there is really a lot in my life that I love: my job, my wife, my step-kids, my dog, my friends and family…
I had an email a few months ago from a WWDN reader who mentioned to me that his Thai Chi master has him write down 7 things each day that he is thankful for. I think that’s a simply brilliant idea, and everyone should do it.
I’ll go first. Today, I am thankful for:

  1. Waking up to my wife’s smile.
  2. The traffic-free drive to work, because today is a holiday.
  3. The cool, crisp, ocean breeze that blew across my face when I got out of my car at work.
  4. Ryan’s unbridled enthusiasm as he shows me that he can ollie nearly 12 vertical inches on his skateboard.
  5. The sunset this evening, turning to gold the leafless branches of the trees in my neighborhood, as they reach towards a cloudy, indigo sky.
  6. Nolan coming to me, when I got home from work, and following me around the house, telling me all about his weekend that he spent with his dad.
  7. Finding my “This American Life” CD, which I had thought I’d lost.

That’s all I have for now. I’m off to prepare my auditions.
Thought for today:

If you are able, help others. If not, at least refrain from hurting them.

7:48 PM PST: I want to add something to my list…

8. Nolan serenading Anne and me during our dinner.

Now, I will explain: Earlier tonight, both kids went to play at their friend’s houses. As dinner time drew closer, we got a phone call from Ryan, asking if he could stay at his friend’s for dinner, followed almost immediately by a similar call from Nolan. So Anne and I prepared for a romantic, candle-lit dinner for 2, while the boys were off with their friends.
I raced up to the market, and picked up this yummy stuffed chicken breast, and a wonderful bottle of Bordeaux. Trouble was, the chicken took almost an hour to cook, and by the time we were sitting down to eat, both kids had come home.
Nolan walked into the dining room, assessed the situation, and announced that he would be right back. He returned with his saxaphone, and proclaimed that he would play all his songs for us while we ate dinner.
So Anne and I ate our romantic dinner for two, while Nolan played “Hot Cross Buns”, “The French Song”, “The German Waltz”, “Yankee Doodle”, and the ever-popular “Oats Peas Beans.” It was the one of the coolest things I have ever seen him do.
If I wasn’t such a badass, it may have brought tears to my eyes.

Cone of Silence

I am officially lowering the cone of silence.
WWDN now ends its broadcasting week. We will return on Sunday night, or Monday morning. Please tune into the soapbox, or enjoy some quality programming at I-Mockery or Unrealistic Expectations.
And Mrs. Wheaton will be enjoying a full-on, super-cool facial, massage and pampering treatment, compliments of the awesome posse, here at WWDN.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Happy Valentine’s Day. :)

Onion head hat

As a step-parent, I have this strange set of ever-changing boundries that I have to respect with my step-kids.
On the one hand, it sort of sucks, because I don’t think I’ll ever be as close to them as I want to, even though they live with Anne and me. On the other hand, I totally respect and understand their limits, and I am not about to force myself on them, or force them to have a relationship with me that they aren’t ready for. For example, I don’t ever want to be called “dad”. I’m really happy just being “Wil”, because they’ve alread got a dad. I’ve made a point of that, over the years, and I think that it has made things easier for the kids, because I’m not putting them in an uncomfortable position of having to choose who they love more, or who they want to be around.
The other side of that is that I sometimes feel like my influence on them is minimized, and that they aren’t “getting” the same things that they’d be “getting” if I was the only father-figure in their lives.
But sometimes, things happen, and I really see myself in them, and it’s just awesome.
Anne and I worked long days today, and we realized that there was no food in the house when it was time to fix dinner, so we decided to go out to eat.
Normally, I’m not a big fan of the dining out experience. Somehow, I’ve managed to avoid the being a waiter part of being an actor, and I think restaurants scare me, because I know I’m “The Curse, Part 4″ away from asking if anyone would like to know what the “soup du jour” is, and then sighing sadly when my answer, “that’s the soup of the day”, doesn’t elicit the peals of laughter that I was hoping for.
But when there’s no food in the house, and I don’t want to order pizza, our options are limited.
So we put the kids in the car, and we headed out to a local eating establishment for some grub. While we were there, a couple of things happened, and I totally saw myself in both of the kids, and it nearly brought tears to my eyes.
But it didn’t, because I’m a bad ass, and I’m cool, and tough, okay? Okay?!
So we’re eating underneath this picture of Jack Nicholson, the one where he’s holding a magnifying glass, and his teeth are huge, and his chin is pulling a Leno.
I point at it, and I say, “Hey, guys, do you know who that is?”
Ryan says, “Drew Carey?”
“No,” I reply, “it’s Jack Nicholson.”
“Oh,” says Nolan. “I thought he was dead.”
Then they look at each other for a second, and explode into laughter. Of course they know Jack Nicholson, they tell me. They were totally messing with me.
Which is something that I would do.
Later in our meal, Anne is telling the kids that the exterminator came to our house today, and he left some traps in the attic…she then tells the kids, “So, later tonight, you may hear: scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch…” And she SLAMS her hand on the table, and shouts, “BAM!” which she immediately follows with this screaching “EEIPPE!” noise.
Ryan looks at the table across from us, and he says, to the couple who is staring at my wife, “I don’t know this woman. I am so sorry.”
Which is something that I would do.
After dinner, when we’re back in the car, Nolan says, “Wil, can we listen to Jimmy Eat World?” I tell him no, because it’s in the CD player at home.
He follows that up with a request for Tool, and a request for Bad Religion.
I inform him that both of those CDs are also at home, and Ryan says, “How about Cake? Can we listen to Cake, Wil?” He begins to hum “Comfort Eagle” to himself.
J.E.W., Tool, Bad Religion, and Cake. Every last one of them bands that I listen to.
Oh, and a few days ago, Nolan was on the phone telling his friend, “You should never wait to tell your mom that you love her.” He waits, while his friend presumably asks him why, and tells him that you never know what’s going to happen to someone, so they should always know that you love them.
Which is totally something that I do.

By your command

Last night, we all took a trip down memory lane, to the glory days of Universal Studios, when Conan The Barbarian was so cool, they gave him his own stage show, housed in a cool-looking castle.
Back then, they actually shot movies at the Universal lot, and, if you were lucky, you could take the tram tour and actually see as much film work as you’d find on an average Vancouver street these days. I remember not being able to ride the tram down one of the magical backlot streets, because they were filming this movie with the kid from Family Ties, where they drove this cool car, and some stuff happened. It was a long time ago, so I don’t completely remember.
Anyway, back in those glorious days, before runaway production ruined so many lives and dashed so many dreams, taking the backlot tram tour would actually put you, the lucky tourist, in the movies!
You could ride across this collapsing bridge, and go through an actual avalanche, from the Six Million Dollar Man. You could ride through the actual Red Sea, parted by the commanding voice of our tour guide, with the help of his trusty driver.
Jaws, the real Jaws, would actually jump out of the water at the tram, with only the skills of the aforementioned driver to save tramloads of “Maui 1980″-shirted tourists from certain doom.
Of course, facing the dangers of the movies was exciting and all, but that was nothing, after you’d driven into an actual Cylon Spaceship, and faced down the wrath of the Imperious Leader, with a little help from this guy named “Apollo”, from the real Battlestar Galactica. It was the first real “event” of the tram tour, and it was my absolute favorite part. Even better than the Psycho house, or 1313 Mockingbird Lane.
Once, when I was doing that whole “Teen Idol” thing, I was invited to Universal to host Nickelodeon’s Kid’s Choice Awards. It was there that I met, and developed the hugest crush ever on, the one and only Debbie Gibson. (Who, in a bizarre twist of six degrees of separation, is good friends with one of the actors who I just worked with in ‘Neverland’. She told him to tell me “Hello”. Rock.)
Anyway, while we were at Universal, shooting segments for the awards show, they took us into the actual Cylon Spaceship, and let us experience it, “behind the scenes”. I got to put on the Apollo helmet, pick up the balsa wood gun, and lip synch, “In the name of the federation, I demand the release of the humans!”
It was beyond cool, even though I was like 15 or 16, and should really have been too cool for the whole thing, especially since I was hoping that Debbie Gibson would get lost in my eyes, and not be able to shake my love.
But, alas, the romance was not to be, and, although I did my best Apollo, they wouldn’t let me put on the whole costume and do it for real tourists.
The closest I ever got to being on Battlestar Galactica was running around the Enterprise, which wasn’t as good a consolation prize as you’d think.
A few years later, I read in the paper that the Battlestar Galactica attraction was gone, replaced by, get this, an escalator, that would transport tourists to the bottom of the hill, where they could wait in line for lame attractions like “ET’s Adventure” and something stupid from An American Tale. Billed, at the time, as the “world’s biggest escalator”, it failed to impress me the same way that balsa wood gun and FX smoke-filled room did.
Although I hadn’t ridden the backstage tour in years, I knew immediately that I would miss it forever.
I never went on studio tours again like the ones I did when I was 16.
Jesus, does anyone?

Misty Mountain Hop

Looks like winter has decided to take the week off…it’s already 74 degrees here, and all the trees are blooming and blossoming, thinking that it’s spring. Didn’t that damn groundhog say there were 6 more weeks of winter? If this warm weather keeps up, I will have no excuses for my yard looking like Beirut.
Actually, I love spring. It’s warm, beautiful, and the perfect season to follow winter…problem is, spring doesn’t like me, or my wife.
At least, the pollen doesn’t like us. We’ve been sneezing and itching for the last 48 benedryl-hazed hours, with no end in site. And I have to do yard work today. Oy.
Last night, Anne and I watched “Amazon Women on the Moon“, the sort-of sequel to “Kentucky Fried Movie. I saw “Kentucky…” about 2 weeks ago, and, unlike a lot of topical 70′s comedies, it really holds up. And I’m not just talking about “Catholic High School Girls In Trouble”, either.
It was the first time Anne had seen “Amazon…”. It was cool to watch something that I’d seen so many times, with someone who hadn’t ever seen it before, and see her laugh out loud that jokes that I just smile at now, because I know they’re coming.
Speaking of stuff I’ve seen a million times, I introduced Ryan to “The Prisoner” day before yesterday. We sat and watched “Arrival” on Friday night, and “Free For All” yesterday afternoon. Ryan is really smart, and he totally gets the symbolism and deeper meanings of a lot of the themes in the show, so far, and he has come up to me a few times saying, “Wil! I totally know who Number One is!” I can’t wait to talk with him about it when we finally watch “Fallout”.
In other news, I finally finished judging the Something Awful vs. FARK photoshop contest. I’d check both sites on Monday for the results, and for SA to take some seriously nasty digs at me.
Oh, and WWDN has been reviewed at Epinions. Thank you to Tammy who wrote the review, and let me know about it.
Well, it’s time for me to grab a rake, crank up Zeppelin 4, and attack the yard.
Have a great Sunday, everybody!

Art imitates life imitates art

Today, I had an audition over at Paramount for a pilot where the character I’m reading for is turning 30, and regrets some decisions that he made when he was a teenager. So he wishes for a chance to go back and have a “do-over”.
I am not making this up, and the show is not called “The Wil Wheaton Story”.
I had lots of fun doing it, because the show is a comedy, and the character is, and again, I’m not making this up, very ironic, sarcastic, and acerbic.
Now I’m wondering if I should sue them for stealing my move?
Anyway, since I was there, I stopped at the “Nemesis” set, and got an eyeful of some amazingly scary aliens, and got to say hello to Patrick and Brent, and John Logan.
I also wanted to wish Patrick and Brent good luck in the 4 Man Bobsled event at the olympics, in which they’ve decided to compete, as late entries.
You know, every time I go to Paramount, I am overwhelmed by this weird conflicting melange of emotions: nostalgia, happiness, and melencholy being the most prominent ones…for as much as I didn’t like it when I was younger (mostly due to my age), I really miss that place…and being on Stage 16, which was our “Swing Stage” (a stage that can be changed from week to week to be a planet, or alien spaceship, or holodeck set), really flooded back the memories. If only I had been listening to “Strangelove” or “Head on the Door” on a walkman, the circle would have been complete.
I also got a call from my friend Seth Wiley, who directed me in “The Good Things“, and he told me that I was mentioned over at I thought that this quote was really cool:“Wil Wheaton should be named like the Grand Chancellor of the Internet. For his assistance, I’ve named him The El Supremo of LaidOffLand.”
That brought a big smile to my face. :-)

Good intentions

So I had this idea, that I thought was nice and sweet.
Turns out it was a really bad idea, and I’ve really turned some people off.
I’m super sorry.
To those of you who also thought it was a good idea, and contributed, thank you. We’ll be having a nice dinner. To those of you who felt the need to attack me about it, I appreciate your honesty, even if your words stung a bit.
I’m totally at a loss for words.
I just…well…I’m sorry, everyone.

Being Wil Wheaton

Despite what the title says, there is not a small space that you can crawl into and take over my body…not yet, at least.
It refers to the title of this really wonderful story that was written about me and WWDN by this guy Tod Goldberg (BAHHH!!! Who’s next?!).
Big thanks to Joyce who emailed me about it…makes me want to finish SpongeBob Vega$pants.


Today was a ridculously long day. Anne and I are working on our friend’s movie (she’s the hair dresser and I’m one of the actors), and we’re shooting it really, really far away from where we live…so we drove something like 160 miles total today. We also had to juggle where the kids were going to go before and after school, and what we’d do with Ferris for the day. We are going to have to repeat this for the next 8 days, and I have a very strong, and new-found respect for families with 2 working parents, who have to deal with this sort of thing every single day.
The shoot went really well, today. All the actors are wonderful! They’re all from the theatre, so they know what the hell they’re doing, which is not something that usually happens on low budget movies. The whole crew is really wonderful, too, and we’re all having fun, and getting good work done, too.
Tomorrow afternoon, I have my second callback for the producers for this MOW. If you’ve got some mojo to spare at 4:30 PST tomorrow, send it my way, and I’ll be forever grateful.


Guess what?! I just checked the results of the 2002 Bloggies(TM) , and I swept my nominations!!!
I am so proud, and so humbled, and so excited!! I share awards with websites like Slashdot, FARK, MeFi, and Little, Yellow, Different!
I have worked really hard to make this website not totally suck, and I love it that so many people enjoy coming here (90,000 of you a month, eating up close to 25 gigs a month), and I am so giddy that you cast your votes for me, and WWDN. There is so much more that I want to do with this site, and, not ever being content to rest on my laurels for too long, I will be building some really cool stuff over the next couple of months.
I want to thank some people, since I don’t know when I’ll ever get to give and “acceptance” speech again…but first, I’d like to call attention to the plight of the…haha. Just kidding.
I would like to thank my wife, for enduring the website-as-other-woman, and my step-kids for hearing, “Not now, I’m working on my website”, but still asking me to play with them the next day.
Loren, Josh, Ben, Ashley, and Logjamming Hosting, for helping me get this thing going in the first place, and extra-special thanks to Loren and Roughy for really helping out with some techincal issues.
Jim and .drow for some bigtime behind the scenes help.
A huge debt of gratitude is owed to Noah Grey, who wrote Greymatter, the weblog program that I originally used, and Amy, who helped me fix Greymatter and get all my old entries exported into MoveableType, which I am currently using. I also have to give recognition to Ev, and Blogger, which was so easy to use, and so reliable, I was able to continue this weblog, even while I was having hellaproblems with GM and then MT.
Finally, I want to thank the entire community of people who read and contribute to WWDN. Whether you’ve been here from the beginning, or if you’ve just found us recently, you guys have added a great deal to this lame little website. I consistently get emails praising the thoughtful discourse we have here, and the fact that most of the people who read and post to WWDN are smart, thoughtful people, who will argue issues, not personalities, and I am proud to say that we’ve had some great arguments here over the last 6 months or so, without a single stupid flamewar.
For those of you keeping score at home, here’s the categories that WWDN won:

  • Best Merchandise of a Weblog
  • Best Tagline of a Weblog
  • Most Humorous Weblog
  • Best American Weblog
  • Best New Weblog
  • and…

  • Weblog of the Year, 2002

I am humbled, shocked, awed, excited, and extremely grateful.
Thank you.
/me does the happy dance