Making myself post something every day this month has been an interesting experience. I expected that it would make it easy for me to post some dumb thing that I’d normally post on my Tumblr or whatever, but the old habit of making everything on the blog mean something just refuses to die. So instead of finding permission to just post a picture or a video and be done with it, I’m finding myself spending a lot of time thinking about what’s going to go up on the blog today or tomorrow.
The fully unexpected side effect of this has been a complete halt to all my other writing. Now, part of that may be that I finished a draft, sent it for feedback, got feedback, and I’m putting off applying the feedback because the stakes are higher now than they were when it was just a puke draft. Or maybe I’m just lazy. Or maybe I’m getting creative satisfaction from making other things, and I don’t have the discipline to write every day on things that I consider capital-W Work. Or maybe I’m convincing myself that writing for the blog is capital-W Work, so it’s okay to go tinker with a computer for a few hours instead of getting to work on the rewrite.
It’s likely a combination of all those things, with the fucking horror of the incoming Cheeto Hitler administration as a force multiplier.
This is now a test of my discipline and work ethic, and I’m not entirely sure I’m going to pass it in its current form.
