Category Archives: imported from GM

Can’t sleep

Can’t Sleep

So it’s 2:30 in the morning. I have to get up at 5:45, so I can call a bunch of radio stations, to do my part in the publicity for Weakest Link effort…and I can’t sleep.
I hate that. I think it’s something I ate, because my stomach is burning something fierce, and my poor little brain is running a mile a minute. Does that ever happen to anyone? You’re trying to sleep, and your brain won’t shut up? It’s either having an argument with someone, or singing songs, or replaying the days events? It usually happens to me when I’ve just started work on a new show. The whole night after that first day, I wake up every fifteen minutes or so, hearing them call out “Rolling!” and “Quiet!” and “We need Wil! Get Wil away from the hookers! We’re waiting on Wil!”
Did everyone (well, most everyone) have a good weekend and a good Thanksgiving? Usually Thanksgiving is just another meal in my family, but this year it was really different. Being with my family was very important this year, moreso than usual. My mom asked all of us to bring candles up to her house, like the big jar-type candles, so that she could make a little memorial to my great aunt…so we did, and it was really cool. I took my step-kids shopping for them, and told them to pick out candles that reminded them of Aunt Val, one way or another…so Ryan picked out one that smelled like roses, and Nolan picked out one that smelled exactly like her house. I thought that it was really cool, because the one Nolan got was called “compassion”, and that was the defining characteristic of Aunt Val…there was never, ever, someone with such boundless love and compassion for people. Anne got her one that smelled like Gardenia, and mine was acacia.
You know, I consider myself to be pretty skeptical, sometimes too much for my own good…but I swear that I’ve felt my Aunt Val’s presence in the last few days, and it’s been really comforting. I miss her, but I feel so happy when I think about her, and about how cool she was, that I don’t feel sad…
I’ve always taken the 4 day Thanksgiving holiday totally for granted, but this year I spent the whole damn thing with family, and it was great, since I was originally planning to be out of town.
Here’s a little re-cap of the weekend:
Anne and I spent the whole day together Friday, at the zoo. I took pictures, and I’ll be adding them to the gallery sometime later today. Then there was the concert with my brother Friday night. Loren and Kelly came by Saturday, on their way home. We went to dinner, and they came and saw me in the worst improve show, ever. Then they went home Sunday, and Anne and I went to see “Spy Game”, which is one of the best movies I’ve seen this year
Tangent:
Has anyone else noticed how movies keep getting more expensive, but the quality of the films, and the movie-going experience, is getting worse and worse? I mean, they’re charging us 9.50 for movies in some theatres now, so that we can sit through commercials in the theatre, and watch the shitty movie on a screen that’s slightly bigger than the bedsheet that my uncle used to project his vacation slides on. I’m thinking that if they’re going to be charging us so much freakin’ money to see the damn things, we shouldn’t have to see commercials in the theatres, or if they’re going to run even more advertising, that they should reduce the cost of tickets, but that’s just me.
End of tangent. Sorry about that.
Robert Redford and Brad Pitt are just awesome in this film. I hope it does well at the box office, because I’d sure like to see more movies like this.
It was really cool…I hadn’t realized how little I’ve been seeing Anne the last few weeks, because of my meetings and her work schedule…and when we do see each other, we’re so busy being parents and stuff that we don’t get to actually enjoy each other’s company…so spending the bulk of the 4 days together was wonderful, and very much needed.
Finally, I tried to watch The Simpsons last night, but FOX was showing this horrible movie, instead…it was sort of like Star Wars, but without all the cool mythological over tones…
Wow. I can’t belive that I’ve been sitting here for an hour. I think I’ll try to go back to sleep now.

Explosivo

Explosivo

Just got back from seeing Tenacious D, Jimmy Eat World, and Weezer, down at the Long Beach Arena.
Not a bad place for a concert, but not the best, either.
We got there at 7:00, despite the best efforts of my friend to kill us while we were driving down there…staked out our spot on the floor, and waited…surprisingly, the show started on time, at 7:30. Jimmy Eat World went on, and played everything you’d expect, and played it pretty well, but I don’t think they’re currently suited for an arena show. I think I’d really enjoy them at The Glass House, or The Galaxy theatre, or someplace like that…They played for about 25 minutes, and then there was a break…at about 8:15, Tenacious D took the stage. JB and KG, alone, beneath a mighty banner of the devil…very, very cool. They rocked the hell outta the place, and were simply amazing. Jack Black is a tremendous showman. The crowd was, annoyingly, mostly kids. I’d put the average age at about 14. So JB takes the stage, and he says, “I notice that there’s a lot of kids in the audience! Lots of 13 year olds…couldn’t get into Harry Potter, so ya came out to see the D! Well, I’m gonna keep the show clean for you tonight. You’re only going to hear 25 ‘shits’, 81 ‘bitches’, 324 ‘fucks’ and one ‘cocksucker’. Because we care about keepin’ it clean for you.”
Hilarious.
They played everything I wanted to hear, except for “Kielbasa” and “Dio”, but they said that they had to cut it short for Weezer.
Weezer was pretty good…I can tell that they’re sick of touring, though, and they didn’t play “The World Has Turned”…but they did play some stuff from Pinkerton, which was rad.
Really lame stuff that happened:
*When we were watching the D, these two girls came and stood *way* to close to us, and every time JB would say anything, they would shout something back, like they thought we were on the Satellite of Love, or something…but the thing is, they were the exact opposite of funny. They were so lame and unfunny, that they actually sucked out some of my comedy, just by their mere presence, and I’m going to be forced to replenish my funny before tomorrow’s Liquid Radio Players show…otherwise I could quite possibly suck.
*Also during the D, the kids standing right next to us decided that they really needed to smoke a huge joint. Now, I don’t use the drugs, but I also think that a lot of the laws we have against them are stupid…but there are few things in the world that I hate more than the smell of weed, and I know that going to a concert and expecting it to be weed-free is like going to a tractor pull and expecting it to be mullet-free…but that didn’t make it any less annoying. If you’re gonna burn one, don’t do it by me, dude.
Really cool things that happened:
*We were wating in a HUGE line to get into the arena, and it sort of doubled back on itself, at the edge of the building…so Jeremy and I are about to make the turn, and head back towards where we started, and Jeremy tells me to wait…and we did, and the line moved back past us, and we walked straight across, thereby making the line shorter. (I don’t know if that makes sense, but Jer will probably read this before the weekend is out, and he’ll know what it means, and when we play softball on Sunday we’ll talk about how cool and funny that was. so there.)
*Between Tenacious D and Weezer, we walked over to the beer area place, because it was the only place that was teenager-free, and my friend wanted a beer (duh). While we were there, I saw my friend John, who plays guitar for Eve6. I told John that Keith and I are putting together a special Holiday show sometime soon, and I asked him if Eve6 would come and play on our show, and be guests, and he totally said that they’d do it. So I’m really excited about that. Those guys are all really cool, and we’ll have fun. Funtimes. Yeah.
*When the show was over, we were walking out to the van, and we walked past where the tour busses were, and we saw Jack Black and KG standing outside, just chillin’ with some people. We shot them the metal fist and threw them “the goat”, and JB totally threw it back!! During the show, they shoot off some of those stomp rocket things, that are like Nerf arrows. My friend’s girlfriend caught 2 of them, and we waved them at JB and KG. JB looks surprised that we got 2 rockets, and we told my friend’s girlfriend to go get them signed, because that’d be cool…so she asked them to coem sign them, and they did! They were so fucking cool! I can’t believe how nice, and normal, and grateful they were. Unfortunately, we drew a small crowd, and JB and KG ended up signing stuff for close to 30 minutes (I know because we stood there, waiting for another of our friends to come back to the van), and they were cool, and friendly, and accessible the whole time. I was very impressed. Jeremy got them to sign his “Cleveland Steamer” sweatshirt. Tenacious D gets 50 billion cool points.
I also realized that I’m 1 degree of Jack Black, which makes me 1 degree of Tenacious D.
ROCK.

Holy Crap!

Holy Crap!

Ever since reading Ishmael, things have really changed for me, as far as the way I see the world…changed for the better, I think.
Recently, I’ve been thinking a great deal about how the Universe likes balance, and when something really shitty happens, I’m feeling better about it, knowing that the really great thing will happen to balance it out.
Life’s been pretty tough the last couple of years: strikes, threatened strikes, always coming in second, another recession…they all add up to not a whole lot of work for your old pal Uncle Willy…and, when you’ve got a family to support, you take some jobs that, in retrospect weren’t exactly…well…yeah.
So the way I see it, the good stuff that should balance out the shitty stuff is on the way. It started when I did the old, lame website, and has continued to build, when I saw Ben at ComicCon (good balance, there…seeing Ben and meeting Loren really balanced out how shitty that whole thing was), when I built and launched this here website, when I did the whole Win Ben Stein’s Money thing, and recently had the meeting with Buena Vista
Is this going somewhere? I don’t want to miss The Simpsons.
Yes. Yes it is.
I’ve recently been thinking about The Balance, and I’ve been expecting good things to happen to me, and, not surprisingly, that’s mostly what I’m getting…sometime, I’ll tell you my philosophy of the Nature of Life, The Universe and Everything (hint: a big part of it is the last chapter of The Dilbert Future, by some strange coincidence.)
I got a fortune recently, at a Chinese restaurant. It said, “You will receive help from an unexpected source”. Nice and nebulous, right? Like a good fortune, it’s easy to apply it to your life in a meaningful way, right? Well, the good thing I got out of that was to be open to help from people I wouldn’t expect it from…like Levar Burton, for example. See where I’m going with this? Nah, me neither. But I think there’s a good point hidden in there, somplace, and you’ll apply it to your own life in a meaningful way.
Here’s the “Holy Crap” thing: I was reading the comments in the last entry, and someone pointed out that I’m in the top ten, for entertainer of the year at EW. I took this screen shot, because I am totally ahead of *Nsync!! YES! :) I thought it was really cool, in a totally lame, sitting-in-the-quad-with-the-cool-kids sort of way.

Aw, Crap.

Aw, Crap

I did this interview with Entertainment Weekly Online, to support the Star Trek Weakest Link…I know, it was risky, considering how brilliantly objective and reasoned their last story about me was…but I was assured by NBC, and by the guy who did the interview, that it was a different medium (Website vs. Print) and it would be okay….
So here’s the article…which is fine, except for “Crusher Crushed”…c’mon, how many times have we heard that?
Anyway, here’s the deal: I’m really scared about how this is going to come off. I’m not allowed to talk about the outcome of the show, so I’ll walk a very slim line here, while I try to explain some stuff.
I made a choice, when I went to play the show. I decided that I’d really play with Anne Robinson, and really go head to head with her, and never back down. Even though that’s not really my style, I thought it would be fun, and it was…but I’m really nervous, because, at the end of the show, one of the producers came up to me and said, “You’re really arrogant, aren’t you?”
I was stunned. Ask anyone…I’m lots of things, but I’m not arrogant. But I played it snotty with her, because I was playing with her at her own game, you know? So I begged them to please be thoughtful when they edit the show, because if they make me out to be a huge dick, it could REALLY hurt my career. All of a sudden, the guy who you used to love from TV and Movies has grown up, and he’s grown up to be a huge dick.
Perfect. Can I take your order? How about a nice Iced Tea to start, sir?
But here’s the thing that I’m really, really upset about: Roxann Dawson, who I don’t know at all, was, apparently very offended by something I said on the show. Here’s the quote from EW:

However, Roxann Dawson (”Voyager” sex symbol B’Elanna Torres) appears less amused when the married Wheaton jokes that he’s in love with her. ”Coming on to me on national television — when he knows my husband’s gonna watch the show — is just unfair, and frankly rude,” Dawson says to the camera. (We don’t think she’s joking)

So, I feel just terrible. I don’t know her, at all, and she seemed very nice to me, and I am really upset that she felt like I was rude to her, and that I was coming on to her, because nothing could be further from the truth.
I doubt it, but if Roxanne reads this, I want her to know that I meant absolutely no disrespect, at all. I am truly, truly sorry for that.
I just feel awful, and I’ve put in calls to my Star Trek friends, so I can phone her myself, and apologize to her.
*sigh*

Liquid Radio Players

Liquid Radio Players

So what are you doing on Saturday night?
I’ll tell ya what I’m doing…I’m performing with The Liquid Radio Players at the ACME Comedy Theatre!
I’ve posted about it before, so I won’t re-hash all the details, I’ll just encourage you to go and read them again.
Come on out and see us! You’ll be glad ya did!

Inward Singing

Inward Singing

Down To Earth(30k image)

How cool is this?!
For the record, I only drink beers that you can’t see through, but I really appreciate the sentiment :)
Did you see the Leonids over the weekend? Wow. I watched them from my backyard, and, even through the haze and light pollution of the city I was able to convince my step-kids that the world was ending, and it was their fault.
How about the Simpsons Sunday? I was so happy to see completely random, unresolved, bizarre shit back on that show. I loved Bart just digging that hole. Up there with “Forbidden Donut”, if you ask me.
Guess who’s going to see Tenacious D, Weezer and Jimmy Eat World?
Well, lots of people, because it’s sold out. But guess who has the coolest brother in the world, whose cool fiancee gave him her ticket?
Oh yeah, baby. Jeremy’s fiancee totally passed the torch.
One last thing: I wrote some satire for BBSpot, and Brian published it! Before you read it, please read BBSpot’s WARNING first:“BBspot is a satirical news and comedy source and meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, gullible, or don’t have a sense of humor we suggest you go elsewhere.”
Oh, and rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated.

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Joy and Sorrow

Joy and Sorrow

We had my Aunt Val’s memorial service yesterday. It was really wonderful. We had it at her son’s house. The whole family gathered in his living room, and we all just shared stories and memories of her. It was the most perfect memorial service I’ve ever been to. See, I think that a service should reflect the person you’re (or yr, if you’re a hipster) remembering. I’ve been to so many funerals and memorials, where they have little or nothing to do with the memory of the deceased…and I always leave feeling cheated. But I really didn’t feel that way. All of us, just sitting in the living room, remembering how wonderful she was, and how special she made each person feel…
My mom had asked me if I wanted to say anything, and I told her that I would, but I just didn’t want to say, “Me, too.” So I looked through my bookshelf, trying to find someone else’s words that I could use to express the dichotomy within me: I feel like I should have this debilitating sadness. My Aunt Val was so important to me, that I feel like I shouldn’t be able to do anything but sob and grieve over her loss…but when I think of her, I feel happy, remembering all the cool things we did together, and what a simply amazing woman she was…the only time I’ve felt that crushing sadness was last night. I woke up in the middle of the night, with a start, thinking “Oh my god. Aunt Val is really, truly, gone.” It took me close to 2 hours to fall back asleep.
So I’m looking through my bookshelf, and all I have is Shakespeare (too flowery) and Wilde (not exactly appropriate for a memorial)…then I see, tucked in between my “Tao Te Ching” and my “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”, “The Prophet”, by Kahlil Gibran. It belonged to my Aunt Val, and she loaned it to me about 2 years ago. I remembered that it was so important to her, and I looked though it, to see if I could find something that was appropriate…and I did. I read the following, from a chapter entitled “Joy and Sorrow”:


Then a woman said, “Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.”
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

My Aunt Val was my delight.

The late, great, Bill Hicks

The late, great, Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks was one of the greatest comedians of all time. He is one of my greatest influences.
Disinfo has this great story about the man they called “the Nietzsche of comedy, the most legitimate social critic of the 1990s: a renegade messiah who tried to make people laugh, but usually ended up pissing them off, or drawing blank stares.”

Saturn Comes Back Around

Saturn Comes Back Around

So the meeting today went very, very well. I really liked the people I met with, and they seemed to really like me back. We talked about lots of different things, and they told me that I’m at the top of their list, when they are working on new projects! I was a little nervous, mostly because I was just excited, but I think I kept my cool…I only rambled a little bit, which was good, and I mostly stayed off my soapbox. :)
I am having major problems with my cable modem service, and it looks like it’s going to require a service visit, to my house, to fix it. Problem is, they’re telling me that they can’t get someone out here until the 26th! I’m currently fighting the angry customer fight with them on the phone, but I don’t know what is going to happen. So if nothing changes here for a few days, it’s because I can’t get online to do anything. I should point out that the national-level guys I’ve talked with have all been very cool and helpful, (yay tech support!). It’s the local’s who are being sort of lame.
I know that the soapbox is dead, and it’s all my fault. I was doing some work, which required accessing the database that the soapbox uses, and I borked it up. completely. So I’m working to reset it, and I’ll make sure that Josh makes me a database just for the soapbox, so it won’t happen again. I am truly sorry to everyone who lost messages and stuff.
Thank you all so much for sending the mojo. I really appreciate it. I truly believe that there is something there, when we do things like that…I think that we can do more with our thoughts than we think we can…(“You mean that space, and time, and thought aren’t all as separate as we think?”) < --name that quote, and win a teddy bear!*

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