I posted this on Twitter earlier this week, because I believe it’s good advice, but about 1 in 20 or so replies accused me of being selfish or narcissistic, or — worst of all — an Objectivist.
I’m not a big fan of getting into “Someone is wrong on the Interent,” but I wanted to clarify a little bit in a way that Twitter does not allow.
What I get out of this quote is this: if there is a toxic person in your life who does nothing but bring you down and hurt you, then you should respect yourself enough to remove that person from your life. Life is too short to maintain toxic and negative relationships.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t make an effort to work on building and maintaining positive, healthy, fulfilling relationships. It doesn’t mean that you don’t make an effort to be kind and generous and just take take take. It means that if you’re constantly “making up” or something like that with a person, you’re not in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. You’re in a toxic relationship, and time you spend maintaining toxic relationships is time wasted that could be spent — invested — into relationships that bring you joy and make you a better person.
Know and recognize the difference between healthy and toxic relationships, positive and negative people, and respect — and love — yourself enough to choose the ones that make you happy and inspire you to grow as much as you possibly can. People who drag you down because it makes them feel better about themselves are not worth your time.
Where I think people may have interpreted this as selfish or narcissistic is in the clumsy wording of people or activities “serving” you. I’d take people out of that portion of the advice and apply it directly to the forehead.
Or, you know, just apply it to the “activities” part and think about where you’re investing your time and energy — your most precious and limited resource — and what yo’ure getting back from it.
Mostly, though, this quote encapsulates advice I’ve given my children and applied to my own life: respect yourself enough to leave a romantic or platonic or business relationship that is causing you more harm than good. To borrow a quote from Green Day: “You can’t go forcing something if it’s just not right.”
Sometimes, free time is a good thing.
Anne is finally home, and I can walk away from the computer for a few hours. Hooray!
According to The Onion, I am.
This is too cool!
I had an audition for John Doe again yesterday . . . but I didn’t nail it. I have a call for CSI later this afternoon.
Update: The role, which was about six lines, shoots tomorrow, and I haven’t heard anything, so it’s not happening. I’m actually sort of glad . . . if I’m going to be on CSI, I’d rather have a bigger role that I can do more cool stuff with. While I was out there, I ran into Scott Grimes, who I’ve known since childhood, but haven’t seen or spoken to in almost a decade. It was great to see him, and we made plans to get our families together for funtimes. So it wasn’t a total waste of time and miles on my car.
Busy, busy, busy . . . and you expect me to watch your damn cats? There’d better be Anchor Steam Liberty Ale in the fridge, buddy.
As if keeping this site updated isn’t enough work, I keep a journal at Slashdot. I wrote in it just now!
I also just found out that those fabulous babes at The Screen Savers, Morgan and Megan, awarded Nemesis the coveted “B-M-W-N-S-B-W-W-W-I-I” (that’s the “Best Movie We’ll Never See Because Wil Wheaton Wasn’t in It”) award.