Holy Crap!

Holy Crap!

Ever since reading Ishmael, things have really changed for me, as far as the way I see the world…changed for the better, I think.
Recently, I’ve been thinking a great deal about how the Universe likes balance, and when something really shitty happens, I’m feeling better about it, knowing that the really great thing will happen to balance it out.
Life’s been pretty tough the last couple of years: strikes, threatened strikes, always coming in second, another recession…they all add up to not a whole lot of work for your old pal Uncle Willy…and, when you’ve got a family to support, you take some jobs that, in retrospect weren’t exactly…well…yeah.
So the way I see it, the good stuff that should balance out the shitty stuff is on the way. It started when I did the old, lame website, and has continued to build, when I saw Ben at ComicCon (good balance, there…seeing Ben and meeting Loren really balanced out how shitty that whole thing was), when I built and launched this here website, when I did the whole Win Ben Stein’s Money thing, and recently had the meeting with Buena Vista
Is this going somewhere? I don’t want to miss The Simpsons.
Yes. Yes it is.
I’ve recently been thinking about The Balance, and I’ve been expecting good things to happen to me, and, not surprisingly, that’s mostly what I’m getting…sometime, I’ll tell you my philosophy of the Nature of Life, The Universe and Everything (hint: a big part of it is the last chapter of The Dilbert Future, by some strange coincidence.)
I got a fortune recently, at a Chinese restaurant. It said, “You will receive help from an unexpected source”. Nice and nebulous, right? Like a good fortune, it’s easy to apply it to your life in a meaningful way, right? Well, the good thing I got out of that was to be open to help from people I wouldn’t expect it from…like Levar Burton, for example. See where I’m going with this? Nah, me neither. But I think there’s a good point hidden in there, somplace, and you’ll apply it to your own life in a meaningful way.
Here’s the “Holy Crap” thing: I was reading the comments in the last entry, and someone pointed out that I’m in the top ten, for entertainer of the year at EW. I took this screen shot, because I am totally ahead of *Nsync!! YES! :) I thought it was really cool, in a totally lame, sitting-in-the-quad-with-the-cool-kids sort of way.

Aw, Crap.

Aw, Crap

I did this interview with Entertainment Weekly Online, to support the Star Trek Weakest Link…I know, it was risky, considering how brilliantly objective and reasoned their last story about me was…but I was assured by NBC, and by the guy who did the interview, that it was a different medium (Website vs. Print) and it would be okay….
So here’s the article…which is fine, except for “Crusher Crushed”…c’mon, how many times have we heard that?
Anyway, here’s the deal: I’m really scared about how this is going to come off. I’m not allowed to talk about the outcome of the show, so I’ll walk a very slim line here, while I try to explain some stuff.
I made a choice, when I went to play the show. I decided that I’d really play with Anne Robinson, and really go head to head with her, and never back down. Even though that’s not really my style, I thought it would be fun, and it was…but I’m really nervous, because, at the end of the show, one of the producers came up to me and said, “You’re really arrogant, aren’t you?”
I was stunned. Ask anyone…I’m lots of things, but I’m not arrogant. But I played it snotty with her, because I was playing with her at her own game, you know? So I begged them to please be thoughtful when they edit the show, because if they make me out to be a huge dick, it could REALLY hurt my career. All of a sudden, the guy who you used to love from TV and Movies has grown up, and he’s grown up to be a huge dick.
Perfect. Can I take your order? How about a nice Iced Tea to start, sir?
But here’s the thing that I’m really, really upset about: Roxann Dawson, who I don’t know at all, was, apparently very offended by something I said on the show. Here’s the quote from EW:

However, Roxann Dawson (”Voyager” sex symbol B’Elanna Torres) appears less amused when the married Wheaton jokes that he’s in love with her. ”Coming on to me on national television — when he knows my husband’s gonna watch the show — is just unfair, and frankly rude,” Dawson says to the camera. (We don’t think she’s joking)

So, I feel just terrible. I don’t know her, at all, and she seemed very nice to me, and I am really upset that she felt like I was rude to her, and that I was coming on to her, because nothing could be further from the truth.
I doubt it, but if Roxanne reads this, I want her to know that I meant absolutely no disrespect, at all. I am truly, truly sorry for that.
I just feel awful, and I’ve put in calls to my Star Trek friends, so I can phone her myself, and apologize to her.
*sigh*

Liquid Radio Players

Liquid Radio Players

So what are you doing on Saturday night?
I’ll tell ya what I’m doing…I’m performing with The Liquid Radio Players at the ACME Comedy Theatre!
I’ve posted about it before, so I won’t re-hash all the details, I’ll just encourage you to go and read them again.
Come on out and see us! You’ll be glad ya did!

Inward Singing

Inward Singing

Down To Earth(30k image)

How cool is this?!
For the record, I only drink beers that you can’t see through, but I really appreciate the sentiment :)
Did you see the Leonids over the weekend? Wow. I watched them from my backyard, and, even through the haze and light pollution of the city I was able to convince my step-kids that the world was ending, and it was their fault.
How about the Simpsons Sunday? I was so happy to see completely random, unresolved, bizarre shit back on that show. I loved Bart just digging that hole. Up there with “Forbidden Donut”, if you ask me.
Guess who’s going to see Tenacious D, Weezer and Jimmy Eat World?
Well, lots of people, because it’s sold out. But guess who has the coolest brother in the world, whose cool fiancee gave him her ticket?
Oh yeah, baby. Jeremy’s fiancee totally passed the torch.
One last thing: I wrote some satire for BBSpot, and Brian published it! Before you read it, please read BBSpot’s WARNING first:“BBspot is a satirical news and comedy source and meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, gullible, or don’t have a sense of humor we suggest you go elsewhere.”
Oh, and rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated.

Continue reading Inward Singing

Joy and Sorrow

Joy and Sorrow

We had my Aunt Val’s memorial service yesterday. It was really wonderful. We had it at her son’s house. The whole family gathered in his living room, and we all just shared stories and memories of her. It was the most perfect memorial service I’ve ever been to. See, I think that a service should reflect the person you’re (or yr, if you’re a hipster) remembering. I’ve been to so many funerals and memorials, where they have little or nothing to do with the memory of the deceased…and I always leave feeling cheated. But I really didn’t feel that way. All of us, just sitting in the living room, remembering how wonderful she was, and how special she made each person feel…
My mom had asked me if I wanted to say anything, and I told her that I would, but I just didn’t want to say, “Me, too.” So I looked through my bookshelf, trying to find someone else’s words that I could use to express the dichotomy within me: I feel like I should have this debilitating sadness. My Aunt Val was so important to me, that I feel like I shouldn’t be able to do anything but sob and grieve over her loss…but when I think of her, I feel happy, remembering all the cool things we did together, and what a simply amazing woman she was…the only time I’ve felt that crushing sadness was last night. I woke up in the middle of the night, with a start, thinking “Oh my god. Aunt Val is really, truly, gone.” It took me close to 2 hours to fall back asleep.
So I’m looking through my bookshelf, and all I have is Shakespeare (too flowery) and Wilde (not exactly appropriate for a memorial)…then I see, tucked in between my “Tao Te Ching” and my “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”, “The Prophet”, by Kahlil Gibran. It belonged to my Aunt Val, and she loaned it to me about 2 years ago. I remembered that it was so important to her, and I looked though it, to see if I could find something that was appropriate…and I did. I read the following, from a chapter entitled “Joy and Sorrow”:


Then a woman said, “Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.”
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

My Aunt Val was my delight.

The late, great, Bill Hicks

The late, great, Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks was one of the greatest comedians of all time. He is one of my greatest influences.
Disinfo has this great story about the man they called “the Nietzsche of comedy, the most legitimate social critic of the 1990s: a renegade messiah who tried to make people laugh, but usually ended up pissing them off, or drawing blank stares.”

Saturn Comes Back Around

Saturn Comes Back Around

So the meeting today went very, very well. I really liked the people I met with, and they seemed to really like me back. We talked about lots of different things, and they told me that I’m at the top of their list, when they are working on new projects! I was a little nervous, mostly because I was just excited, but I think I kept my cool…I only rambled a little bit, which was good, and I mostly stayed off my soapbox. :)
I am having major problems with my cable modem service, and it looks like it’s going to require a service visit, to my house, to fix it. Problem is, they’re telling me that they can’t get someone out here until the 26th! I’m currently fighting the angry customer fight with them on the phone, but I don’t know what is going to happen. So if nothing changes here for a few days, it’s because I can’t get online to do anything. I should point out that the national-level guys I’ve talked with have all been very cool and helpful, (yay tech support!). It’s the local’s who are being sort of lame.
I know that the soapbox is dead, and it’s all my fault. I was doing some work, which required accessing the database that the soapbox uses, and I borked it up. completely. So I’m working to reset it, and I’ll make sure that Josh makes me a database just for the soapbox, so it won’t happen again. I am truly sorry to everyone who lost messages and stuff.
Thank you all so much for sending the mojo. I really appreciate it. I truly believe that there is something there, when we do things like that…I think that we can do more with our thoughts than we think we can…(“You mean that space, and time, and thought aren’t all as separate as we think?”) < --name that quote, and win a teddy bear!*

Continue reading Saturn Comes Back Around

We asked for Mojo Nixon. They said, “He don’t work here!”

We asked for Mojo Nixon. They said, “He don’t work here!”

Good morning!
Remember the last time I asked for some mojo? Remember all the empty promises I made, about being best friends, and letting you ride in my mom’s car when we went to the museum of Natural History for our next field trip?
Well…the time has come, the walrus said, to make some more empty promises.
I need your mojo, and I need it between 3 and 5 PST today. I’ll even tell you what it’s for this time…”Win Ben Stein’s Money” is produced by Buena Vista Television, and BV saw all my auditions and all my tapes and stuff, and I guess they have decided to give me a chance to be funny, because their VP of development and their Director of development asked to have a “general meeting” with me today. A general meeting is where I go and talk to a casting director, or a director, or producer, or whomever, and we talk about stuff we could do together, and it usually leads to employment. (!) They’ll probably ask me what type of show I think I would like to do, and would be good for. I’m gonna tell them how much I like “The Daily Show”.
Anyway, it’s very exciting, and I’m just a little bit nervous…not because I think I’m gonna suck, but just because it’s such a huge opportunity for me and my family…so if you could spare some mojo, I’ll be your best friend, and you can ride in our car when my mom chaperones on the field trip to the Natural History museum!
Oh, did anyone see the Drew Carey show last night? It was the live, improv version…made me laugh out loud many, many times.

Wow

Wow

I am completely humbled, excited, and just a little giddy.
I don’t even know what to say…I was linked by fark, metafilter (they were much nicer this time), plastic (still not nice), and too many Trek sites to list. Chris from Slashdot (among others) emailed me to say congrats…he’d heard the news via the submissions that were flying towards /.
The really, really cool part of all this, I mean, the best part of all, is that the comments out there, for the most part, have been very positive towards me, and when they are negative, they are negative towards Wesley. That I can handle. And I bet you that it wouldn’t be like that if I didn’t have this lame little web site. So, to those of you who have given me a chance to illustrate the difference between him and me, I say “thank you!”
This has been a weird 10 days or so…the universe really likes balance, doesn’t it?

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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