Where The Hell Have I

Where The Hell Have I Been?

So I was reviewing my entries, and I noticed that I left all these promises of stories open, unfulfilled, like so many prom-night expectations…
Well, I’ll tell you why: I have been working on the new site, non-stop, since I posted my last entry, and it is about 90% complete, and will be open before Friday the 24th.
But here is something fun for you to do: you can read the greatest interview I’ve ever done.
I did this for Ain’t It Cool News on my birthday last year. If you wanted to know what life with Uncle Willie is like, read this interview.
And keep checking the new new site

How cool is this?

I always joke about how I am going to use my “power of celebrity” for good, not evil.
Usually I say that to the girl who’s giving me a lapdance. I like incongruity.
I just got this Email, and I think it rules:

“Dear Wil,
I’ve always wanted to somehow tell you how much I enjoyed your work in the
movie Stand by Me and what that movie meant to me while I was growing up.
When I was a teenager, life in high school was not that fun. In many ways, I
was like Chris Chambers. One of the things Gordie says to Chris is “You can
do anything you want to man.” I always took that to heart and now I’ m
working my way through college and look forward to a career in political
science. Stand by Me taught me to look beyond where I was and look at what
could be. It gave me hope and got me through those turbulent teen years.
I just wanted to thank you for your sensitive portrayal of Gordie and how he
knew Chris could be better than everyone thought he was.
I also enjoyed your work on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Wesley was a good
example of what young people could do if given the chance. “

Now, I can’t take credit for all of that, because I just said the words that were given to me…but it still makes me feel pretty good. :)

Closer, ever closer

So tonight I finished the “foundation” of the new site: I built all the pages, and got myself all hooked up with a style sheet that I actually like.
AND! I am pretty happy with the way I edited the Greymatter templates.
All that I have left to do, really, is just add the content (some from the old site, some new stuff), get the store configured and open, and then I’m ready to go!
I think that once I get some press, and get hooked up on some search engines, this site will really take off.
Going to sleep now.

Site Building Update

Today, I created the frameset, set the style sheet, and got the basic structure of the site laid out.
Now I have to add all the content, and get the store running.
I’ve reached a plateau on editing the Greymatter templates, but I’m close to getting past it.

The J.Keith van Straaten Show

The J.Keith van Straaten Show Returns!

I am the sidekick on a VERY cool late night talk show.
We’ve been on hiatus for a few months, but now we’re coming back!
Here’s the details. If you’re gonna be in LA, come to the show, and meet me afterwards!!!
*Mark Your Calendars!! Save The Date!!*
*Primetime Special Benefit Show!*
*Thursday, August 30 ~ 8pm!!*
That’s right, The J. Keith van Straaten Show, “the best TV talk show not on TV …yet,” invites you to put down the shotgun and regain a sense of hope and wonder, as we return for our first show of 2001! Yep, it’s been eight whole months since we left the stagewaves and now we’ve got a great reason to come back: J. Keith is in training to run a marathon to raise money for AIDS Project Los Angeles. Let that sink in for a minute: J. Keith….marathon….raise money…. Believe it, baby! It’s all true! So this next show is a charity fundraiser, which means we’re pulling out all the stops we can find! Deluxe accomodations and surprises galore!
More details will come your way soon, but meanwhile, make sure you hire the babysitter and put it in your Palm Pilot now for Thursday August 30 at 8pm. This is a show you won’t want to miss!
ADVANCED TICKETS WILL BE REQUIRED – They will be available online soon at www.jkeith.net!
Here’s what we know so far…
Scheduled Guests for Thursday, August 30:
(A Partial List. More guests will be announced, and some will be a surprise!)
*KEVIN NEALON – 9-year cast member of “Saturday Night Live”
*NINA GORDON – Singer/Songwriter, formerly of rock band Veruca Salt
*RICK OVERTON – The comedian’s comedian and longtime friend of the show
*WIL WHEATON – Your ship’s purser. (note that Keith didn’t say “Ensign”…I have a better rank on thisshow, baby!)
…plus the triumphant return of house band ADAM & THE CHESTERS (featuring ADAM CHESTER).
Come see the Good Cause Funny!
WHAT: The J. Keith van Straaten Show
“The Best TV Talk Show Not on TV …yet!”
WHERE: ACME Comedy Theatre, 135 N. La Brea Ave., Hollywood
(1/2 block south of Beverly Blvd., next door to Farfalla)
WHEN: Thursday, August 30, 8pm
SHOW HOTLINE: Call 310-289-2345 for more information.
WEBSITE: http://www.jkeith.net
Please note: The public is encouraged to call the show hotline or visit our website for the most up-to-date information, including currently scheduled guests.
The AIDS Marathon, run on December 9, 2001, will be J. Keith’s first endeavor into the world of long distance running –or any distance running, for that matter. The marathon raises money to support AIDS-related causes all over the country. Sponsoring J. Keith will help raise needed funds for AIDS Project Los Angeles. Contributions and ticket purchases will be tax-deductible to the fullest extent of the law.
For more information, please visit www.aidsmarathon.com or www.apla.org
Thanks! With your support, I’m really going to run 26.2 miles, and raise money to help people living with AIDS! That rocks!
Your best friend in the world,
J. Keith van Straaten
The J. Keith van Straaten Show
The Best TV Talk Show Not on TV …yet!
“Best of L.A.!” –Los Angeles Magazine / “Pick of the Week” –LA Weekly / “Best Bet” –LA Times
www.jkeith.net ~ 310-289-2345

Dodger Baseball I am a

Dodger Baseball

I am a HUGE baseball fan.
I play.
I watch.
I listen.
I kick the computers ass on PlayStation MLB2001.
And I go to the games, most often with my mom and dad, because they have seats two rows above the Dodger dugout. As a matter of fact, you can see us in the background whenever a right-handed batter is up, if we are at the game.
There is a GREAT story about why we have the seats, which I’ll tell you another time.
Well, dad took Anne and me to the game tonight, so we could watch Chan Ho Park throw a perfect game through 4, a no hit shutout through 7, and leave the game with a 3 hit shutout in the 8th.
Of course, these are the Dodgers we’re talking about here, so they only managed 1 run while stranding 13 runners over 8 innings, so when Jim Tracy brought in our “closer” Jeff Shaw, we weren’t heading for the parking lot, confident of a Dodger victory.
So Shaw comes in, Expos (yeah, I forgot to mention that, we were playing the Montreal Expos) get 4 quick runs, and the Dodgers lose, 4-1.
Take me out to the ballgame!

Kids Are Cool Tonight, while

Kids Are Cool

Tonight, while I was sitting here, cursing up a storm while I tried to get the new site closer to operation, my step kids decided that they wanted to watch The Mummy on DVD.
So I told them that they could, but Ryan had to shower before he could start it, and Nolan would have to wait for him.
So Ryan runs off to his room, (kids have two speeds at 12: the excited run and the sullen stalk), and shouts back to Nolan, “Make some popcorn!”
Nolan looks at me, and says, “I’m really burnt out on popcorn, Wil.”
“So just make some for Ryan,” I replied, “that would be a really cool thing to do.”
So he goes into the kitchen, (he hasn’t hit the 2 speed phase yet) and gets out the popcorn (I can’t endorse Newman’s Own enough- it rules, and the profits go to charity, so we all win).
I sit back at the computer, trying to make the new site look less lame (it’s not coming along as well as I’d like, dammit), and Nolan calls to me from the kitchen.
“Wil! There’s a lot of smoke coming out of the microwave!”
I get up, and as I get closer to the kitchen, I recognize that smell that is so familiar to college dorms…no, not weed, jackass. The smell of burnt microwave popcorn.
Nolan is standing there, looking so perplexed, like he can’t figure out what is wrong with the microwave. So I stop it, and asked him how long it’s been in there, and he tells me 4 minutes, because that’s what it says on the bag. Now, whenever I make it, it’s 2 minutes 25 seconds. I’ve gotten it figured out. But I somehow didn’t pass that knowledge on to the next generation, and now, at 2:50 am, my house STILL smells like burning popcorn!
Well, Ryan comes out of his room, and Nolan looks crestfallen.
“Ryan, I ruined the popcorn, and it was the last one.” He says, looking like a puppy who’s just been caught chewing up your Boba Fett that was still in the blister pack.
Ryan looks at me, and back to his upset little brother, and he totally says, “That’s okay, Nolan, I’ll eat it anyway.”
So we open the bag, and take out a black ball of burning popcorn, toss it into the sink, and Ryan pours the rest of the popcorn into our popcorn bowl. (You see, when you’re married, all of a sudden you get all this stuff that only has one use. Like The Popcorn Bowl, or The Water Glasses. I don’t know about you, but when I was a bachelor, I only had 2 bowls and about 5 glasses, and they pulled serious double and triple duty.)
Sorry. Tangent.
So Ryan ends up sitting on the couch, eating the totally burnt popcorn, and all was right with the world.
See what I mean about kids being cool? Nolan made the effort to do something for his brother, and Ryan made the effort to appreciate it, even at his own peril.
I wish adults were more like that.

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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