It’s raining today for the first time in months. It’s a warm, tropical rain that has brought thunderstorms into my town, and even though lightning and explosive claps of thunder kept me up most of the night (and terrified my poor dogs), it makes me happy. In fact, thunder is booming right now and my car is getting a much needed free bath.
The last few days, actually, have been some of the best days I’ve had this year. I spent Saturday with my friends, playing super geeky games. I hadn’t seen them in months, thanks to mono and incompatible schedules, and I didn’t realize until I was sitting at Cal’s dining room table, drinking wine and playing Spooks, just how much my soul needs them, and how much my friends mean to me.
Isn’t that weird? It is so easy to take your friends for granted, all the while thinking about them, caring about them, and enjoying their company . . . but not considering what they actually mean to you, until you don’t see them for an extended period of time for one reason or another.
Sunday, I played in the Main Event of the World Championship of Online Poker. I busted out in 488th place — not too shabby out of over 1400 entries, but well out of the money. I went out hating myself, but the tournament quickly faded from my memory after I was done, because Anne and I went over to our friend Stephanie (who introduced us) and Patrick (her awesome husband)’s house for Patrick’s birthday dinner: bone-in fillet, heirloom tomato salad, creme brulee . . . and wine. Oh, sweet jesus on a pogo stick, the wine. Patrick is the general manager of a very popular restaurant here in Pasadena, which means he has access to some of the best wine from here to Milliways. I could go on and on about the amazing wine we had, but I’ll just say: ZD Reserve Cabernet. Holy. Fucking. Shit. It’s a good thing Anne was driving.
On the way to their house, Anne said, “You know, I love our house, and I love doing things with the kids, but sometimes it’s important to spend time with your grown-up friends, you know?”
I couldn’t have agreed more. I told her about Saturday at Cal’s house, and how I’ve missed our friends these past few months. Then we ate dinner and I told everyone just how much I love them. A few too many times.
When I woke up Monday morning, the smell of freshly-brewed coffee was heavier than usual in our house. I could hear bacon sizzling in the kitchen, and as soon as I got out of bed, Ferris and Riley almost knocked me down, they were so excited to see me. (Tangent: don’t you love how your dogs do that? I once saw a sticker or shirt or something that said something like, “Lord, please let me be the person my dog thinks I am.” Dog owners know what I’m talking about, and Ferris must know that I’m typing about her, because she just rolled over onto her back, and started wagging her tail.)
I walked out to the kitchen, where Anne was cooking.
“Is there coffee?” I said, in my tiniest voice.
“There sure is,” she said. She turned from the stove to the coffee machine, and spun around with the best coffee mug, ever. It had a picture of a pirate on it, and it said, “Dead ’till I gets me coffee.”
“This is for Talk Like A Pirate Day,” she said.
“Oh my god,” I said. “This is the best mug ever!”
She hopped a little bit, and maybe she made a happy squealing noise. “I was so excited to give you this,” she said, “it’s been killing me to keep it a secret!”
“How long have you had this?” I said.
“Almost two weeks,” she said. “Do you love it?”
“I love you” I said, and kissed her with my icky coffee breath.
We ate breakfast, and I settled down at the table to get a lot of work done, while she got ready to go down to The OC to pick up some blinds.
I checked e-mail and worked on Games of our Lives for about twenty minutes, when she bounced back into the dining room.
“Watcha doin’?” She said.
“Workin’,” I said. “Why?”
“Well, since I have to go down to Anaheim to get Nolan’s blinds, I’m going to be right around the corner from Disneyland . . . and I thought we could use our annual passes to go ride Pirates of the Caribbean. You know, for Talk Like A Pirate Day.”
I sprang out of my chair. “That is the best idea in the history of ideas!”
“Really?” She said, “you’ll really take the morning off to play with me?”
“If I didn’t, what’s the point of being my own boss?”
Fifty-seven minutes later, we picked up Nolan’s new blinds, and seventy-five minutes later we were in line for Pirates of the Caribbean. We held hands the entire time we were there, and shared a Churro in a sickly cute fashion that would have mortified our children, if they’d been around to see it. (Note to self: remember you just came up with a new way to mortify the children. Use it at the next available opportunity!)
I must have told Anne, “I’m really glad that we came to do this,” fifteen times in the span of a couple of hours. It was really fun, and a great capper to three supremely wonderful, perspective-restoring days.
On the way back to the freeway, we passed this lumber yard on Ball Road that always has interesting sayings on its sign. Yesterday, the sign said, “No man is a failure who has friends.”
The truth is, for a couple of months, I’ve felt like a huge, colossal, stinking failure in a lot of things that I’m not willing to go into right now. But spending a weekend with my friends, and a surprise Monday with my wife reminded me of some advice I’d been given and forgotten: Don’t let your work become your life, because when work isn’t happening, then what do you have?
Work may be frustrating, but life? Life is good.
69 thoughts on “life is good”
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w00t. This is the Wil I remember reading. Yay for having such a good few days. It adds a little happiness to my day when I hear about you (and other people) having good times, too. Rock!
Great post. Good times. Yay for you and I wish I could talk like a pirate everyday.
Now I kind of want a weekend like that. =)
cheers!
I loved your story Wil, I wish I was my own boss. I’d love to have that freedom, to be able to just go “play” at a moments notice. I think fun, play, laughter, etc. is SO important, and I haven’t been having enough of any of it lately. I have been in a “funk” for awhile now, and am not sure how to get out of it. But I really loved your story it made me feel good!
We all need to take the time to drop what we’re doing and take a ride. Great story.
BTW, EggRadio just played a clip of Walter’s “It’s not my sweater” exchange from CSI.
Finders keepers… 😀
With your enjoyment of pirates, you might consider joining the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, an alternative system of belief to placed in juxtaposition with so-called “Intelligent Design”.
Regarding FSM, I quote:
“Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.”
So, a hearty “Arrr!” to you, Matey!
It’s great to see another human bean having a moment of clarity. Thanks for sharing that!
I’m also in with Shane and Al (good company, btw) – I’ve been reading and playing entirely too much poker. I was wondering if the OC was a new area casino.
Not to be a wine geek, but which year was that reserve cabernet? They’ve got like ten years worth in their wine library! Thanks for the great post Wil!
Now, I am sitting here at work trying not to cry at my desk (I’m a woman, I’m allowed to cry whenever I want!) What a wonderful reminder of what is important and it comes at a time when I am doing the same thing, especially as work has been getting me down lately. Thanks for the uplifting post!
Hi. Newbie here. I’m sorry, but I just finished “Just a Geek,” and having come straight from that to this post, well, I feel the compulsive need to stick my (probably unwanted and unneeded) nose into this entry.
Wil, Wil, Wil. Dude. You’ve let too much of your life go by in He-of-perpetual-angst mode. What’s it going to take for you to stop feeling like a failure?
Are you the biggest mega movie star-cum-author-cum-object of fangirl lust the world over? No. BUT: are you loved and respected by people who really know you? Yes. In spades, it sounds like.
Are you dripping with more wealth than even Han Solo could imagine? No. BUT: Do you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back, and ditto for your family? Yes.
Have you taken advantage of Every Single Opportunity that presented itself throughout your lifetime, and always made the perfect choice every time you came to a crossroads? No. BUT: Have your choices led you down a unique path, taught you lessons, and generally expanded your consciousness and made you a better, smarter, stronger (faster, $6 million…oops, caught the wrong train of thought there) person? Yes.
Are you the ultimate dad, with kids who are serenely happy models of perfect behavior and development? No. BUT: Are you good enough, with kids who are in school (not jail), pierced or tattooed (but not covered with “railroad tracks”), moody and irrational (but not strangling stray animals or building pipe bombs)? Yes.
Dude. You don’t have to buy all that Hollywood/American Dream crap that defines success in terms of what you own or how “perfect” your life is. I think Ghandi said, “Whatever you do is insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” You’re THERE, Wil. Living an examined life, thinking about things that matter, making the world a little cooler by opening your heart and mind to others and helping THEM expand themselves a little. IMHO, that’s the only definition of success there is.
Wow. That was probably one of your best life “stories.” yet. I love when you have on of those “perfect” days. In fact, it’s even better when you realize it at the time and go, “yeah, this is it. This is what I’ve been waiting for.” A few years back, my boyfriend and I had one of those days. We decided to to go to Venice on Memorial Day, (I know, what the HELL was I thinking?)
and found no parking (what?) and decided instead of being dejected and going back to our home in the seventh ring of Hell, otherwise known as the Valley, to just drive. Drive until we found where we wanted to stop. We took the One all the way down to the OC and just chilled. Checked out the tide pools, grabbed some fish tacos and watched the sunset. Amazing.
I think days like those are the ones that we are put here on Earth for. Not jobs.
I just saw that bumper sticker on a truck on the way to work the day before yesterday. I chuckled when I saw it. It was right next to one that read “My dog is smarter than your honor student”. I looked over at my husband and said, “That guy really loves his dog.”
What a great post! After reading it yesterday, I got a call from a friend that I hadn’t spoken to in a couple months, who lives two and a half hours away. We made plans to get together and have some fun. :oD Another friend of mine posted in his LiveJournal yesterday that you may get really down when you can’t spend time with the people you care about, but at least you have friends that are so wonderful you miss being around them!
And huzzah for riding Pirates of the Caribbean! It’s been 7 years since I was at Disneyworld and rode it… I can’t wait to get back there. :o)
Wil, make a little note on your calendar to revisit this post. The things you’ve said are so worth remembering. I know acting is a very competitive business and it must be frustrating when work (acting or otherwise) doesn’t go as planned. But whatever respect I have for you as an actor or author, it’s never going to surpass the respect I have for you as a husband and father.
The more I look around me the more I realise how badly the world needs more happy families, more parents who are trying their best in the most thankless of tasks. Any achievement you make in the acting world will see you rewarded long after the deed is done, in recognition and lasting fans (some of whom comment on this blog). Parents on the other hand, are good parents out of love and only are rewarded in those special and rare moments like the one you described the other day about your stepson remembering what you’d taught him. Great husbands and wives are great even in the face of a world telling them that marriage is an outdated crock. The fact that you take these things so seriously and as a result do them well means a lot to me and surely means a lot more to your wife and stepkids. It will keep me coming back to this blog as acting, authoring and (sadly) poker never will.
PS…the best Talk Like a Pirate Day ever! Fantastic.
and rarely get the recognition they deserve
Wil, it makes me smile and even cry a little how readily you embrace the small moments that make a life… well… a life. My family has been having a Star Trek marathon for a few months now, and let me say that in my house, no one is allowed to bash on MY Wesley Crusher!
Thank you. I just had one of the worst Tuesdays and today I feel good. This just made me realize how good I have it. Yes, I don’t sleep, yes I have a longish commute, but coming home to family of kids and fuzzys is the best.
Thanks.
“Don’t let your work become your life, because when work isn’t happening, then what do you have?”
Amen to that, Wil. Especially when you’re self-employed; boy, it’s tricky sometimes.
When Wil wrote “We held hands the entire time we were there, and shared a Churro in a sickly cute fashion that would have mortified our children, if they’d been around to see it.” Why do I now have the Danny/Sandy running down the beach to “Love Is A Many Splendored Thing” from Grease scene running through my head?!? ‘Taxi for Foxy…stat!’
It’s my first vist, and may say, “If you are lame, I am far lamer (more lame?).” Because I just jumped through hoops to sign in just so I could let you know how much I enjoyed reading this. After 9 years of marriage (and two years of courtship before that), I am still madly in love with my husband. Ain’t love grand?
Thank you for cheering up my day.
I just finished your book “Just a Geek” and I loved it. Your blog of 9/20 is the first one I’ve read. Very inspiring and funny, kinda makes me want to plan a “Talk like a pirate day” for my husband. Thanks for being so open and cool and normal (a normal geek that is).