just thinking

I’m thinking about kids who are doing online learning, when they want to be at school with their peers. I’m thinking about their parents who are suddenly thrust into an educator role they may not want or feel prepared for. I’m thinking about good, honest, hardworking people who are in danger of losing their homes through no fault of their own, desperate for some protection from predatory lenders and landlords. I’m thinking about the people who are getting up and going to work every day, for corporations who don’t care if they live or die, so the rest of us can have food and other essentials. I’m thinking of the people who did everything right, and still got sick because a selfish person refused to take this pandemic seriously. I’m thinking of the nearly 200,000 people who have died and the loved ones who are mourning their loss. I’m thinking of the BIPoC who are living through the dual traumas of being BIPoC in America in 2020, and living through a pandemic that affects people who look like them more harshly than it affects people who look like me. I’m thinking about teachers and educators who don’t want to be in classrooms because of the pandemic, but who also want to be there for their kids. It’s going to be unimaginably difficult to keep kids safe (think of how hard it is to get us to sit still) and give them the best quality education these teachers can provide.

I’m thinking about all these things, and how overwhelming all of this is, for all of us. If it’s tough for me, I can’t comprehend how tough it is for someone without my privilege.

I know that my experience is substantially easier and less disruptive to my life than it is to almost everyone else, and maybe that allows me the space to be the person I need in the world right now. So I’m sharing the reminder and the advice I gave myself, earlier today, when I needed it.

  • Remember to look for the Helpers.
  • Remember to BE a Helper.
  • Remember that this is not forever.
  • Remember that, as terrible as everything is right now, we’ve been here before and come back from it. We owe it to ourselves and to our children to be as resilient and committed as our ancestors were in their day.
  • Remember that we are living through a major trauma unlike anything most of us have ever experienced in our lives. We haven’t done this before, so we are figuring it all out in real time. It’s hard and it’s scary, and we need to be as gentle with ourselves as we are with our kids and loved ones.

This stuff is helping me today. Maybe if you need it, it’ll be helpful to you, too.

Also, real quick before I hit publish: Teachers, I see you. I’m grateful for you and I love you.

65 thoughts on “just thinking”

  2. But WE haven’t been here before Last big disease was 1918. The depression was 1929 through the 30’s. I was born 1971 and didn’t experience that. Nor did I experience a world war. I have a computer and internet connection and live in the 15% of the world who has power. I haven’t been famish for real, had no clean water or place to call home. So I think unfortunatly you are way wrong.

    1. That’s what the last bullet point says. He’s not wrong. We as a species have been here before. We as individuals may not have.

  3. As a teacher and someone who prepares teachers, I appreciate your kind words. I am also grateful for all these reminders. It’s far too easy to get lost in the hopelessness of it all. Sending you grace and peace.

  4. I appreciate that. I need to remind myself that one day in March, with no warning, I picked up my 6 year old twins from kindergarten, and their 9 year old sister from 4th grade and they haven’t been to school since. No teachers, no friends, no grandparents, no sitters or cousins or aunts or uncles. 🙁
    It’s hard homeschooling but SILVER LINING, I’m mostly laid off on unemployment because oddly enough, demand for custom European vacations is pretty low right now.
    We are ok. We will be ok. But like everyone else, I miss my “normal” life.

  7. I love your thinking Will. I truly believe you are a great person. Me and you are about the same age give or take a few months, I know acting when you was young was not something you like doing the way you push into it. But you actors have the greatest gift in the world and I never ever hear one single actor say it. That is you are forever remembered by all that watch your work. No ever forget what you look like. I wish I could have that honor but I’m not special enough. I wish I write like you do but I am no good with characters, just the world they are in. I create worlds with my mind, just can’t make the people in it. If everyone could be more like the people in star trek the world would be a great place to live in. I don’t know if you agree with my thinking or not. But in closing I want to say that I wish you and your family the best. Because you give so much to all those around you. Jennifer

  8. One of my best friends is a teacher. She says that she’s working harder than she ever has in her life, and feels like all she sees is criticism. God bless them all. Thank you for including them in this wonderful post.

  10. Thanks, Wil. Your posts remind me of all the good in the world. And all the good people in the world. Including you. Thank you for shining a light in the darkness.

  13. I totally understand … I go thru the same thoughts … and I needed this reminder of what to do

  15. Thank you, Wil, for reminding us that we can survive this “new normal. We don’t have to be doormats for those who doubt the science, but we can use our strength to make things better for those that who have no voice in what’s going on.

  16. I literally just logged off after 12 hours on the computer working on my classes and opened my personal email to see this post. I am sitting here crying from this post, especially your last line.
    We are in full distance learning mode and this is our 2nd week. I have been putting in 10 to 12 hours a day, including weekends for school. It’s not teaching the classes; the kids are great and trying so hard to do right. I love the teaching part.
    It’s all the endless emails to confused parents, the school going from plan A to B to I think we are plan M right now (please just make up your mind and we will do it). It’s having three IEPs the first two weeks of school, and five other parents requesting IEP to plan on how to best meet the need of their child. Canvas is a new LMS for us (really? we needed a new LMS right now?) I spent two hours last night with a new teacher, who does NOT know his way around computers, trying to help him learn how to navigate and find the correct browser, tabs, and what all the icons means in Synergy, Teams, and Canvas. MS Teams works and does not work. It’s comforting and reassuring a crying student that it’s OK they could not log on to class today. It’s feeling like I am not doing enough each day.
    To add insult to injury, my #$@*#$^ gaming computer totally bite the big one (it was incredibly old, and way overused). So now I am limited to a mid-range laptop. I so wanted to attend the game show on Sansar but I had so much lag I could not move my avatar to a seat. YES, I was the one standing by the stage the host/guide kept asking to sit down. I could only move one step and freeze. So I just finally X out and sadly did not get to see the game. I felt like even the little escapes and pleasures of activities like that has been stripped away. I am planning on getting a new gaming system when the pandemic is over and the rest of my family of choice have gone back to work.
    I could rant on, but mostly just trying to keep my mind focused down the road and give in/ give up. Tomorrow, next week, next month, end of year, next year. Oh, I have found that if I name each day as a Harry Potter episode the day sounds better:
    Harry Potter and the Disappearing Teams meetings.
    Harry Potter and the Puzzling EdPuzzle log-ons.
    Harry Potter and the Six Midnight Emails.

    Taking the cue from a post, every morning when I walk my dog I look up and say, “Computer, End Program”.

  17. Wil,

    Can I just start by saying I am a late 40’s hetero male who likes to think I am tough as nails. I was scrolling through today and saw this post. I openly started weeping. I NEEDED this today. Thank you for all the kindness, to all people, you put into the world through your platform. I don’t always agree with you on everything but I always respect you.

  19. Thank you for this. I’m super lucky and I know it, but I need to remember I’m allowed to feel some of the hardship of this time too.

  20. I am 67 years old, so beyond school years and having to venture out if I don’t need to. But I do remember how important both parents and teachers have been in building my life. Both have my respect and amazement.

  21. I wish our leaders were capable of the kind of thought you put into your posts. In times like this we need to be appreciative for the small things and practice gratitutde.

  22. nice , way to be grounded , privilege aside we all can be privileged if we get through 2020 and 2021 with All our loved ones. Some of us myself included at 57 went back to college . Finish off my CompTIA Network + , knocked off the CompTIA A+ . heck its worth a restart

  23. Also, remember that there are kids who, for the first time in their life, are not being bullied every damn day at school. Are actually getting to learn a little, and not be afraid. Parents who are seeing that difference in their kid, and realize that the SCHOOL is the problem.

    Work from home is taking the struggle out of disabled peoples lives, and showing, finally, that so many disabled people are able to work, we just cant climb the steps to the office, or be on time with the crap public transit.

    People who used to judge those with economic instability are having their eyes opened, and their hearts softened to those who are struggling. My own extended family have turned to the liberal side, after lifetimes of bootstrap mentality, they are donating generously to food banks and changing their tune about unions.

    These things do not make up for the lives lost. I would rather have my loved one back. I’m struggling, hard, with my mental health in these conditions. But they are small mercies, and for that I try and be thankful.

    I’m thankful, too, for these missives in my inbox from you, Will Wheaton.

  24. Thank you for the words of encouragement. We have a daughter who is a Special Education teacher in Colorado where school has started in person classes. We also have a daughter who is an RN in Texas. We’re scared for both of them. We can’t visit them because we’re older and have a few health issues. Thankfully we do have two family members who live with us and one runs the errands so we don’t have to. That makes us luckier than most. Prayers to all who are suffering, wishing brighter days for everyone.

  25. ❤ Hugs to you all, especially the teachers, the parents, the students, the front line health workers, the essential workers. You’re keeping me going!

  26. Thank you so much, Wil. I see my hub teaching second grade out in the backyard, bringing his A game every minute and wishing that he could be back in the classroom. He’s making the best of a difficult situation and it’s so frustrating.

    Keep using your superpowers for good.

  27. I think about all those things and people all the time too. The joy and pain of being an empath. Thanks for the sage advice. I’ll try to keep it in mind when the world seems too heavy and sad. I hope you know you are a helper too <3

  30. We are seeing examples every day of how we can rise in times of crisis instead of fall. I joined my local volunteer group at the start of lockdown in March in the UK and every request for support (fetching shopping, going to the post office, a lift to the hospital) was met with such a tidal wave of offers of help that even if you replied within 5 minutes of the email coming out there would have been 5 replies ahead of you. I eventually was able to help some of our older people figure out their iPads so they could do video calls with friends and family, which helps immeasurably in times of isolation.

    These are desperate and worrying times, and the loss of life truly dreadful. But when I think of past pandemics and diseases which carried our children away in vast numbers, I think of how much worse this could be.

    Stay safe Wil and everyone.

  33. Thank you, Wil.

    I have a kindergartner and started her in school learning remotely. I feel bad she isn’t able to have the classroom experience, but as you said, I keep telling myself this is only temporary.

    I keep thinking of the kids, like my three-year-old son, who are young enough that this is their “normal.”

    It could be so much worse, yet it could be so much better- so much of what we are going through could have been prevented with real leadership-which makes me feel depressed and angry and helpless.

    But it is only temporary.

  35. And a shout-out for people who work in public libraries who are told that their library is an essential service, but also told that requiring their patrons to wear masks would be discriminatory and can’t be enforced.

    I’m fortunate, I work in a university branch campus library, and we can require all students, staff, and faculty to wear masks on-campus. A lot of public libraries cannot, and are also being forced in to broader and broader public support roles that not only they are not being trained for, they’re not being paid for. It’s taking a serious toll on them, and a lot are saying screw this, and throwing away Masters degrees and leaving the field.

    1. At my public library we have the option of curbside pickup or entering for brief browsing – no loitering or seating available. Masking is mandatory & there is a security guard at the entrance to enforce it. Returned materials are exiled for 3 days before being returned into circulation. Some have early retired or become part of the squad of employees offering online programs such as reading to children.

  36. Thank you for the wonderful reminders.
    This pandemic feels like science fiction turned into reality. In Vermont, our number of cases are low, but our vigilance is high.

  37. Thanks, Wil. I’m crying today, wondering how long I’ll be here. So this was very timely. Thank you for being humane.

  38. I think we’ve all been thinking a lot lately.

    Speaking of looking for the helpers… My daughter was distance learning in her high school special needs math class this morning. Before class started I overheard another student come online. She had something she wanted to share. Her mom died this morning. The other students immediately began expressing their love for the student and great sorrow for her loss. She thanked everyone and said that was exactly why she logged in. She needed some more love and support and knew exactly where to get it. With that, she logged off before I was able to pick my jaw up off the floor.

    Someday I hope to BE the friend and helper my daughter and her friends are for each other.

  39. I’m reminded of a term I only learned recently. Building the plane while flying it. That’s how coping has been.

  40. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m grateful for the things you’ve said, and to be seen. We are trying our hardest for our students — to deliver curriculum, to offer them consistency and kindness, to see them the way you remind us that you see us (let’s pretend I don’t teach English and that you get what I mean). I’m just getting a handle on this, and I think I can do it. There are days when I think I’ve done an OK job and made a connection with a kiddo.

    This is so hard. I’m grateful for your kindness.

  41. Wow. I’m a teacher and a long time reader of your blog and I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart

  42. Bravo! Applause! Ovation! I have done national disaster for 45 years and OSHA safety for 25 years!
    YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT!
    I was sitting at the City of Glendale’s (Arizona) Dog Days event last March 7, looking at the train descending on Arizona, realizing the following:
    1) I have never had a pandemic disaster drill. Not from FEMA, the state, or of my own creation – cause – you know pandemics happened to third world counties.
    2)Then, 80% pf my volunteers were from the senior, medically frail and disabled populations because we are encouraging EVERYONE to do something for someone else.I KNEW I would loose my volunteer base.
    3) Then – there would be NO PLACE to run to get away, to hide.
    This was the first pandemic that would be so world wide and break supply chains that normally provide help to us nonprofits. Then there were the other disasters- you know, wildfires across the west coast. Hurricanes in the east. We here in Arizona have had 52 days of over 110 heat combined with 3-5 wildfires EVERYDAY since may to today to be followed by flash floods.

    Every time there is a large disaster, there is a brief honeymoon phase, followed by despair, hopelessness and overwhelmng sadness…and suicides. We are coming into winter – where SAD will be a greater burden and the experience of the sadness of loss over the holidays. I teach with a slide that shows this, that I wish I could send to you to post to alert others, because we are facing HUGE losses from our vulnerable populations across the US.

    The important point I wanted to make, is that your intuition is dead on and thank you for encouaging people! This is so needed now!

  43. Oddly, this pandemic has taught me a lot about the ways in which I’m privileged. Not that I’m white and cis and male – I knew that already. But like Wil, the lockdown hasn’t been a significant factor in my life. I live in a weensy apartment on disability and savings, and don’t need to go out to earn money. I’m even privileged that the dearth of human contact has virtually no effect on me. Finally, being a crotchety, insular, introverted, hermetic misanthrope pays off!

    Point being, every time I think about the ways my life has sucked, and continues to suck, I try to remember the ways in which it doesn’t. I hope all the folks at risk in a workplace stay safe and healthy, and those folks who don’t do well with being alone have plenty of backup. Apart from trips for food, I don’t have much at risk, here in COVID Land. Not bad privilege for a disabled bi atheist.

  44. Thanks for this Wil, I’m a teacher and I want to be there for my kids. Right now it’s almost 4 hours past the school day and I’m here trying to support someone who’s behind in a class. I’m distance now, but it looks like they’re sending us back and I am terrified. Thanks for seeing us.

    2. I have a few teacher friends. This has been horrible for them, even though they are in a much better place and better prepared than in the Spring. I see updates from my son’s teachers having finished grading an assignment at 10pm, Facebook updates from those teacher friends at 12am stating “done, finally time for bed”.

      It is truly going to be a learning experience not just for how to handle education during a pandemic, but how much of a budgetary need there is. Funding for schools, equipment, more teachers, higher pay, supplies…on and on.

      Hang in there. Know that there are MANY people out there empathizing with our educators.

  45. Hey Wil – It’s funny, I came here to find you, after seeing you highlighting this Medium article about how f’d our democracy is: https://eand.co/we-dont-know-how-to-warn-you-any-harder-america-is-dying-26ff80912391

    I know this is super random, but I have a team of volunteer social entrepreneurs building a system to fact-check all online news in real-time using humans and math. (old-ass live demo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9si1GoyawbY).

    A couple years ago, some teachers asked if they could have a private version to use to teach critical thinking, and when we adapted it we, uh… accidentally discovered that it could quantify improvement in student critical thinking: telling facts from opinions, recognizing straw man arguments, biased wording and unsupported claims, etc. Right now a bunch of teachers are using it for asynchronous class discussions that are challenging and social, but not draining like real time Zoom. They need our support now, more than ever.

    Anyhow – I know you care about this stuff so I thought I’d ping in case you’d like to see it or try it.

    Keep your head up. Keep up the good work.

  46. Thank you on behalf of my son, who is a teacher in Bozeman, MT. He has to be back in the classroom part-time and, while he’s glad to be interacting with the kids, he recently said to us he’s pretty much resigned himself to getting COVID. Not something a parent wants to hear.

  47. This has been the most “roller coaster” of times when it comes to dealing with 2020.

    One day it is fine. This is life, it isn’t the worst, and we can get through this together!

    The next, everything is quite screwed (from behind, with a cactus) and what is the point of life at all right now?

    I am stuck in the same room for most of my time, my bedroom. I sleep here (of course) and have my computer set up for work. The room seems small. I have been working here since March 11th and will continue until at least January.

    I bought more Pops, put up lights, and even bought a “The Child” (Mandalorian w/ Baby Yoda) posted to put up to make things look more interesting I guess.

    I am 45.

    Toys, lights, and a Star Wars poster in a grown man’s bedroom because…this is the way.

    [totally intentional reference on that last line]

    Hang in there everyone.

  48. Wrapped up week 1 of distance learning for my two kids while my husband and I take turns with zoom meeting and art assignments while attempting to work. I do great during the pressure of the week, but all I want to do is cry now.

  49. Thank you, Wil. I appreciate your reminders and thoughts. Such good encouragement for me and others. Want to be president??!!
    I used to teach sp ed and at my age, I am so grateful that I am not having to learn a new computer system and how on earth to teach ADHD middle school kids virtually. God bless the ones that do! They are in my thoughts daily.
    And during my Groundhog Day(s) while I’m not becoming an accomplished pianist, I am brushing up on my sewing projects & hopefully becoming a much better sewer.
    All the best to you and yours.

Comments are closed.

Related Posts

Recent Posts