Still Just A Geek is released today. It’s available everywhere books are sold. Holy crap it’s actually happening.
I’m going to be signal boosting a lot of press today on the socials. It’s challenging to find that balance between sharing cool stuff and making a ton of noise that most people just tune out. It’s going to be challenging. Telling stories is one thing, and promoting myself is something entirely different that I’m still trying to get comfortable with.
Months ago, I wrote myself a note (well, recorded myself a voice note) where I reminded future me that it’s okay to feel a little stressed out and overwhelmed by everything that’s happening today and this week. I implored myself to make space to enjoy this. Here’s some of it:
Publicity and attention and press stresses you out, because it was always imposed on you. But this time, it’s all supporting and celebrating you. Enjoy it, and know that after about three or four weeks, everything will go back to normal.
Please, please, please, dude, I beg you, for me, for you (who is future me) and for future you, don’t get distracted by someone else’s definition of success. Writing this book, all the work you did on this book, healed a TON of your trauma and helped you get closer to whole than you have ever been. That is the thing that matters. That is the thing you get to take home no matter what anyone else says or does. If this book’s sales exceed expectations, if it gets good reviews, if it gets noticed beyond the people who already love you and want to read your story, that’s a bonus. BUT NOT GETTING THERE DOES NOT MEAN YOU OR YOUR BOOK ARE A FAILURE.
I’m going to say it again: Whatever happens today and in the future (“today” for you is in my far future, but it’s your present. How are we doing, by the way? Did we finish The Big Idea? That’s just kicking our ass right now. I hope we did.) Uh, whatever happens today and in the future is entirely out of our hands, and I know you’re probably going to forget that, because you spent your whole life hearing that anything less than first place was the same as last place.
None of that matters, and letting that old thinking into your space is just going to give you stress and anxiety about stuff that you can do absolutely nothing about.
You did The Thing, dude. You did it. You. I know you’re like “I had a lot of help” and that’s true. But you’re the one who had to relive all that stuff and process it. I’m proud of you, and I hope you can find space to enjoy this.
I am so grateful to me from however long ago that was for thinking of me from today. He knew EVERY fear and anxiety I would have today, and he did me a real solid with this advice.
I always tell people that I do my best, every day, to be the person I need in the world. I don’t know how I knew that today I would need these reminders from myself, but I’m real grateful that me from the past was looking out for me from today.
I’m going to share a couple links to some interviews I’ve recently done, because I think some of it may be interesting to anyone who has read this far:
On Episode 222 of You, Me, Empathy, Wil Wheaton and I explore how being a geek intersects with empathy, the childhood trauma Will faced in a mother that treated him as a commodity and a father who simply didn’t care, on being the person we need in the world, and Wil’s beautiful new book, Still Just a Geek, which is like the Inception of inner child work.
We start the show talking about how narrating Still Just a Geek as an audiobook was way more emotionally charged than Wil anticipated, how Still Just a Geek is a stunning reflection on self and a deeply compassionate journey into accepting and loving the past versions of ourselves, and how that inner child work has impacted Wil’s relationships with his kids and partner, Anne.
Wil opens up about his experience as a kid, and the trauma he experienced through a mother who seemed to only value him as an actor, and a father who had no capacity for love or care—and the deep grief and heartache he’s been through because of it all. He just wanted to be seen, and heard, something so universally needed on a human level that when it isn’t present it feels so paralyzing and awful.
Wil Wheaton talks with me about his fatherhood journey. We chat about being a step-dad and the relationship he has with his sons. Wil shares some of the values he looked to instill into his sons as they were growing up. He also talks about how he wanted to make sure he didn’t act like his parents and not make the same mistakes they did. After that we talk about his book, Still Just a Geek: An Annotated Memoir and how recording the audiobook version was life-changing for him. We even talk about on comic-con moment that stuck with me for years on the advice he gave someone about being a geek. Lastly, we finish the interview off with the Fatherhood Quick Five.
Rob, Joe, and Nick had the incredible honor of sitting down and talking with Wil Wheaton (Wesley Crusher-STNG). In an interview spanning a variety of subjects from mental health, pop culture, pizza, and everything in between.
The Big Idea (yes, me from the past, we did finish it!)
I never talk about how much I was abused when I worked on this movie called The Curse, after Stand By Me. It was such a traumatic experience, I’ve done everything I can to forget it. But it’s a big part of who I am, and when I did Still Just A Geek, it was part of my story that I needed to tell.
Okay, finally, an answer to the single most frequently asked question about Still Just A Geek:
Q: Where do you want me to buy it, so you get the most money or whatever?
A: Short answer: wherever it’s easiest for you! That you read it is what matter, not how you get it. But thank you for asking!
Longer answer: I earned a nice advance with this book. It’s unlikely I’ll earn it out, and royalties will ever be a thing, so the specific place you get it makes no difference to me. That said, if you have a choice and all things are equal, consider buying from an indie bookshop. Indies always need support, no matter what, and I heard from my publisher that indie sales count 3X toward the NYT list (which I do not expect to make, but you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take).
Okay. I think I’m done. Whew. What a day. I feel strange, but also good.