Trek XI

Fark had a photoshop contest yesterday. The theme was to make a poster for the next Star Trek movie.
Currently leading the voting is the following poster, brilliantly designed by Reisende. Thanks, man!

72 thoughts on “Trek XI”

  1. Wil,
    It’s kinda like “The Crusher-does-Elvis” motion picture :)
    Anyways, kudos for the interesting read you provide me with, as well as your talent for me to appreciate.
    Merry Xmas, and get crazy with the cheez whiz!

  2. Fark Rules All!
    That really *is* your Elvis picture.
    Young Elvis of course. *Grins Evily*
    Are we to assume that any film based on this poster would be made after Rick Bermans forthcoming shock, totally not on purpose, well planned & executed “accident”?
    Say the word Wil, say the word…

  3. Man, that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all year, hands down. And yeah, that’s how dull my life really is. ^_^ haha

  4. OMG!!! That’s freakin brilliant!
    I just saw Nemesis again with my bro and a friend who wanted to go, and I made sure to point you out in it. Everyone i’ve talked to about this movie ive said “Hey, Wil’s in the movie!” and they all look at me like I have 5 heads until I say that i’m a huge fan of your site and that they will be to when they come…..which they usually end up doing and being. :)
    Anyways, just rambling on as usual.
    I’ll shut up after I say “I hope everyone has a happy Holiday Season – whatever you choose to celebrate”

  5. Great Picture. I think it should have blue hair. And should be tittled “STAR TREK XI THE WRATH OF WES”.

  6. V.O.
    He’s Returned and he’s pissed.
    Fade In.
    Interior Bridge Of Enterprise
    Captain Picard
    Number One, what in the sam hell was that noise?
    Why, it came from the turbo lift.
    The turbolift doors open reveling Wesley Crusher.
    Thats right. Season after season after season of saving this damn ship and not one promotion!!!! Not one!!!! Wesley never got what he deserved.
    But, honey I gave you great head every night!
    Shush, mom. Now your all going to pay.
    Wesley pulls out phaser from behind his back and holds it up in direct view.
    Wesley switches Phaser to nuclear Bush kill mode.
    Fade Out.
    Comming This Fall
    Yeah I’m bored as hell.

  7. Merry Christmas everybody. I like to use racial slurs because I’m too stupid to think of anything better to say.
    The anonymous Internet is perfect for cowards like me!

  8. Looks like it could be a cool movie. Hey Wil, wanna come to Sydney, we can film it with my friend’s camera. There is nothing the Sydney Harbour Bridge can’t make even cooler.

  9. Finally, a Star Dreck movie I’d like to see.
    Now if only it could be directed by Leonard Nimoy-oh that’s as likely too, right. . .

  10. I liked “The Wrath of Crusher” best.
    “First his scenes get cut,
    then he gets shafted on premiere night..
    now the only thing he cares about is vengance!”
    Come on, assimilate Berman damnit!

  11. Too bad it had to be an ODD numbered movie, Wil.
    Better luck next time. 😉
    Merry Christmas to you and the family and all the best for the new year.

  12. Wil,
    Well, now you are seen and heard. You also have way to much time on your hands. It was funny and I did not faint.

  13. Hi everyone.
    Just wanted you all to know that it’s Christmas, and I have nobody to spend it with.
    So I thought I’d put people down in an infantile way to make my life feel less pathetic.

  14. “Star Trek XII: The Final Wrath of Spocks Undiscovered Deep Space Insurrection With Voyager’s Nemesis.”
    Okay, I needed something to do, and Wil inspired it. 😉

  15. I always thought it was creepier when the Borg said “Resistance is irrelevant” — like, yeah, go ahead and resist if you want; whatever, no skin off our metal teeth.
    So I think “Berman is irrelevant” sounds pretty snazzy.
    I like the idea of a pissed Wes Crusher nuking something important. Yeah! Phasers _and_ those cool Jedi Powers.

  16. I think the Qube Photoshop is pretty funny.
    Nemesis movie spoiler warning, but if you’re reading Wil’s blog, how can you not expect a movie discussion?
    Ok, so are you ever going to explain why Wesley is in a NG dress uniform at the wedding? The character left Starfleet. I don’t think he’s entitled to wear a uniform, is he? I think it would have been cooler if you had worn civvies. Do you have to wait until the dvd is released before you can tell us?
    I must say that the movie had a lot of plot holes. Why this, who’s that, how can he do that, why does he want to do that? But it makes for interesting discussions, if nothing else.
    Happy Holidays, all!

  17. At least you KINDA made it into Nemesis… For about 2 seconds on the left side of the screen during Picards speech…
    BAH! And how the hell is Janeway an admiral ahead of Picard now?

  18. Wil,
    I agree with the leader in the contest… but…
    honorable mention should go to:

  19. “Star Trek: Prosthesis.”
    The entire cast of Next Generation is captured by… um… some alien fucking race who find human legs a delicacy. You know… like the French and frog legs. In fact, let’s just go ahead and call this new alien race “the French,” because they come from the planet of France. And throw a fucking strip of masking tape across the bridge of their noses and make them talk with a lisp… BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING ALIENS. So. Then they eat one leg off of each crew member. Then… They escape. The Enterprise guys. But they all only have one leg. Even Beverly Crusher. Then a Romulan captain… um… Captain… um… Balak. Aw, fuck it. Give him an extra K. BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING ALIEN. Captain Balakk who runs the infamous carny planet Rigel 5… So Captain Balakk’k captures them and ties them all to a fucking post. And he feeds them cabbage. And beats them viciously with a stick. Every day. Twice a day. Often THREE times a day. He makes them walk around that post with their one legs until they wear a groove in the alien soil. And no one ever comes to save them.

  20. And if anyone posts my idea to Fark or steals it I will beat their fucking heads in with a fucking shovel.
    You fucking tool.
    Have a nice day!
    The lobster’s from Maine.

  21. love the poster, it should say something like “the return of Wesley Crusher!
    Anyway that is such a great poster, I’d go see the movie too.
    I’ve always been a Wesley Crusher/wil wheaton fan.
    oh yeah there’s this guy who’s the publicist for Christian Bale who’s a real jerk off/ok he’s a n asshole!, had the nerve to call you names. too bad I’m not in his balehead group and get the emails from someone who keeps me posted on stuff.
    long story, anyway I had her kinda tell him off, I’m surprised she didn’t get kicked out for voicing her opinion.
    Give my love to your families!

  22. I think it will be great even if it is an odd numbered movie. Remember, every fifth movie really sucks bigtime and is followed by a really good one.
    Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Stardate!

  23. Egads! That ROCKS, Wil!
    I’m sure the plot has some interesting twists.
    * Picard and Riker get put in the brig after a particularly crazy pub crawl
    * Betazed outlaws clothing (but Ferenginar has a revival on bustles and hoop skirts a la Victorean England)
    * Worf discovers Data’s personality living in his replicator
    * Chekov appears from some strange spacewarp called Babylon 5
    * The Enterprise-L (yah, Picard blew up F through K trying to get laid) meets up with a HUGE derelect with only a human, a robot, an evolved cat, and a hologrammatic dead guy on board
    * and at the crux of the crisis, Wes and 7of9 hook up (in more ways than one) to defeat the greatest threat the Universe has ever known… RICK BERMAN HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF THE GATEWAY TO FOREVER! Nooooooo!!!

  24. No problem Wil! Glad you liked the pic. I thought after getting cut out of Nemesis you’d want a little revenge. 😉

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