WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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behind his eyes he says ‘i still exist’

This thing has been happening to me since I built my first blog about 25 years ago, and you’d think that by now it would have stopped, but here we are.

The longer I go between posts, the more SUPER IMPORTANT the next post becomes. This is especially gross after I’ve been promoting something. I feel like I’ve bombarded the world with my promotional stuff, so I ought to give the world something to offset that.

…only when I sit down to do that, the part of me that creates those things is like, “Oh hell no. I’m on vacation.”

So I come in here, day after day, get to about this point in a post just like this one, and then I get frustrated, delete it, and go play video games.

I have to break that cycle, so here’s a little bit of a roundup to put something new here.

Yesterday, I finished building the LEGO Batmobile, which I started months ago. It has some adorable little details that were a lot of fun to discover, but holy shit was it tedious most of the time. It turns out that building vehicles, even one that I have been obsessed with since I was a little kid, is not something I enjoy.

I think I’m doing the Haunted House next.

If you’d told me a year ago that the Stanley Cup final in 2025 would be the same teams from 2024, I never would have believed you, and once again I am cheering for Florida because Edmonton is literally the only Canadian team I just can’t abide. Sorry, Oilers Nation, but fuck Corey Perry.1

Remember Trek Side of the Moon? It’s back, in T-shirt form.

I loved the movie, but am very late to the What We Do In The Shadows series party, so I’m only now getting into its third season. A couple nights ago, I watched an episode that takes them to Atlantic City. Nandor gets completely hooked on a Big Bang Theory slot machine, and is delighted to discover that there is a television series that is “faithful to the slot machine.”2

The thing is … because The Big Bang Theory canonically exists inside the What We Do In The Shadowsverse, that means I exist inside that universe. This feels like an achievement that should come with a badge, and it makes me stupidly happy.3

Late last week,I saw that Loretta Swit passed away. We worked together when I was a kid, and I remembered some things about her.

A friend of mine observed that we are slowly becoming the Elders, and that’s just really weird. I have been thinking about that, and it turns out there is a lot about that I’m not really ready to embrace, like accepting that people I love, who mean so much to me, are getting older (and elderly) with all that implies. It’s just … it’s really weird. At the same time, it feels really good and … gentle? … to embrace a position in life that allows me to be a kind, patient, supportive, and encouraging person in the world for anyone who needs it.

I’m thinking a lot about how I can talk about things from a place of experience, in a way that younger me would have been able to hear and internalize. I want to be a Helper so much, y’all.

I had a meeting with my team to discuss next steps on It’s Storytime. The audience is small but passionate, and growing steadily. I think we’ve found a way to make it break even, or slightly better, while the audience continues to grow. Thank you to everyone who is supporting the show on Patreon, to everyone who has liked and subscribed and whatnot. It looks like the audience is right around 20,000 listeners which seems like a lot to me, and something I feel really good about! But you know what’s crazy? In the podcast world, it’s tiny. Isn’t that nuts?

When I was walking Marlowe, I came across this weirdly bent spoon in the street, so I posted it in my Instagram stories with the caption “If anyone sees Uri Gellar, tell him I found his spoon.”4

I think this is a pretty good joke.

I watched a fantastic film a couple nights ago, about the post-punk scene in West Berlin from 1979-1989, called B-Movie: Lust & Sound. It’s streaming all over the place, and if you like the same kind of music and aesthetics that I do, it’s probably worth your time.

I think that’s all for now. Have a good day, friends.

  1. Also, Florida sent 9 players to Four Nations, and Four Nations was the most exciting and satisfying hockey tournament I have ever seen. So there’s that. ↩︎
  2. I love how this show keeps surprising me like this. The first time, it was throwing the bone off the roof in the werewolf fight. I never saw it coming, and it just killed me. ↩︎
  3. I also exist inside Tommy Westphal’s snow globe, but that doesn’t feel as exclusive. They’ll let anybody into that thing. They let me in there! ↩︎
  4. If you get this reference, that means it’s time to schedule a colonoscopy, if you haven’t already. And make sure you’re getting enough vitamin D, because our aging bodies need it. ↩︎
3 June, 2025 Wil 63 Comments
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hey it’s me on the katee sackhoff podcast!

I recorded this episode of the Katee Sackhoff Podcast a couple of weeks ago. It’s when I realized I needed to spend some money on a camera and some lights, so I could present myself in my — literal — best light.

I mean… look at the difference between us:

On the left, Katee Sackhoff, properly lit and photographed. On the right, Wil Wheaton is blown out and pixelated.
Left: Katee Sackhoff is properly framed and lit. On the right: Wil Wheaton is blown out, pixelated, and coming to you from a nightmare.

Okay! Lesson learned! All future on-camera podcast appearances will look a little less … uh … 320×260.

I had such a wonderful time talking with Katee, this could easily have gone on another hour. It was such a privilege to spend this time with her. Here’s an embed from YouTube:

Very much looking forward to having breakfast with Katee. Seth McFarlane is not invited, but will be honored while we wait for our food1.

Podcast news!

Feedback, reviews, comments and emails all tell me that the audience for It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton absolutely loves it. I am so honored and so grateful to know that it’s landing on listeners the way I hoped it would.

This first block of episodes was a learning experience for me. I had some stumbles that I’ll tell you about someday, but they weren’t insurmountable and I learned from those mistakes. I leveled up my skills as a narrator and I hear it in the work. I know how to do this, now, and I just have to figure out how to make it cost-neutral (with the expectation that it will eventually find sponsors and revenue sources that allow me to convert it to something I do every week as a job.) I have a meeting coming up with my business team to discuss all of that. As I said in my last post, my gut is pessimistic, but it does that to protect me from disappointment and I know that. My team is positive and enthusiastic about this meeting, fully expecting that we’re going to keep doing this. So I’m doing my best to trust that they have more experience than my gut in this regard, and I’m cautiously optimistic.

If you’d like to get these updates in your email, here’s the thing

It’s Story Time With Wil Wheaton is available wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Subscribe now at

  • Apple Podcasts
  • PocketCast
  • Spotify
  • Pandora
  • iHeart
  • Amazon
  • or grab the RSS directly from me right here.

You can also support the show on Patreon, where you’ll get the show with no ads, as well as some spiffy extras that all the cool kids are into these days.

  1. This will be amusing to you, after you’ve listened to the podcast ↩︎

13 May, 2025 Wil 11 Comments
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it’s storytime with wil wheaton episode 7 – end of play by chelsea sutton

Well, here we are in Spain. I feel like I am just getting started, and I wish I had more new episodes yet to come, but we have come to the final episode of what’s turning out to be one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever done. I set out to make ten episodes for the first season of the podcast, and through a series of unfortunate events, lost two of them. That means that this is the final episode of my proof of concept, shakedown cruise, for what I hope will become a weekly series that runs for years.

I have learned so much during this process about myself, as a creator, producer, and host. I’ve learned a lot about promotion and marketing. I don’t know precisely how much XP I farmed through the whole thing, but I’ve gone up a couple of levels. I know how to do this, now.

I honestly don’t know what comes next. I’m going to have an all-hands meeting with the team to look at total downloads other metrics, and they will tell me if it looks like there is enough audience to attract sponsors and Patreon subscribers.

My gut tells me that it isn’t going to happen. I don’t feel it catching and growing the way I did with Tabletop. That’s probably because the podcast space is crowded, and even though I’m not necessarily competing with another audiobook podcast (I think I’m the only one), I am absolutely competing with every other podcast in the universe, because there is only so much time available, and those True Crime podcasts are pretty great. But I’m hopeful that my gut is filled with a lifetime of disappointment and sadness, so it’s not giving me truly useful advice. I’m hoping that I get good news, wihle bracing myself if it doesn’t come.

All of that said, if this is all I ever get to do, I am so happy and proud of this. I do not regret taking this chance, investing my time and money and spirit. From a creative standpoint, this is a huge success. I am so proud of my work, I feel so good about it, and I am so grateful that I am closer to my artistic self now than I was six months ago, entirely because this whole effort demanded that I give it everything I had to give. To get there, I had to really clean up and get rid of a lot of baggage and lingering bits of my former life as an on-camera actor. A wonderful and unexpected benefit of that (other than the genuine emotional healing and trauma recovery) is that I have a much clearer picture of who I am as a person and an artist.

I am supposed to be coy and play it cool, fake it ’till I make it and all that, but I am going to tell you, even though they all tell me I am not supposed to, that I want to do this podcast as my daily job more than anything. I want to feel the satisfaction of putting something good into the world, the joy and the rush and the art that only happens when I’m narrating audiobooks or working in animation. And since animation doesn’t seem interested in giving me feedback on a single audition going on for two decades now, I’m going to lean hard into narrating audiobooks.

If you’re in the audience for It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton, I need you to know how grateful I am that you’re trusting me with your time and attention. The world is on fire, everything is terrible, and we all desperately need to find as many moments of peace as we can. It’s my hope that I can tell you a story once a week, and for an hour or so, you can get a rest from all of *gestures broadly at everything*. I sincerely hope I can keep doing this for you (and for myself), and if I do, you’re the reason why.

And a very very very special thank you to everyone who supported me on Patreon. You are part of a very small group of people (much smaller than I anticipated) and I hope you enjoyed the things I shared specifically with you, as my way of saying thank you.

So enough about me, let’s get to the reason you’re here… this week’s hopefully not final episode of It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton!

Every single story I did is wonderful, and I love each one on its on merits for specific reasons. This week’s, however, is a stand out for me, among other great work. This story is almost a monologue, and I can see myself doing it as a one act play at the theatre where it is set, just down the road from here. Every story I narrate uses at least some of the skill I developed when I was an actor, but this one just demanded that I use all of them.

Actually, let me restate that: it gave me permission to feel the joy that actors must feel when they give a fulsome performance that goes all the way to the marrow of their creative selves. That was rad.

Our editors did some very gentle work on this, too, that fills out a bit of space and makes the whole thing just so much more than I even hoped it would be. I’m so excited to share this with all of you.

Here’s my intro:

This is the part of my introduction where I talk about the story you’re about to hear, where I write what I call “the magazine heading” which will help you press pause on the real world and come with me into Story Time. This part is challenging for me; I need to summarize just enough of the plot to entice you, without giving away anything important.

I’m struggling with this part more than usual today, because this story doesn’t fit neatly into any single category. It’s a ghost story, it’s a love story, it’s a gorgeous monologue that cries out to be staged in the real life theatre where the titular play is set. It is a beautiful way to wrap up our first season. There is nothing I can say about it now that adds anything to it, so I invite you to take your seat, because the house lights have come down, and we have to begin, if we are going to get to the End of Play.

You’re going to love this, I promise.

As always:

  • Apple Podcasts
  • PocketCast
  • Spotify
  • Pandora
  • iHeart
  • Amazon
  • or grab the RSS directly from me right here.

You can also support the show on Patreon, where you’ll get the show with no ads, as well as some spiffy extras that all the cool kids are into these days.

Thanks, everyone. I’m so glad you’re here, and so grateful that you’re part of this.

7 May, 2025 Wil 35 Comments
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it’s storytime with wil wheaton episode 6 – if we make it through this alive by a.t. greenblatt

Happy Wednesday, friends! I’m here to remind you that there’s a new episode of It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton, waiting for you wherever you get your podcasts.

This week’s story is called If We Make It Through This Alive, by A.T. Greenblatt, originally published in Slate.

Here’s my intro as written. (The final that you’ll hear is a little different; this is too long, so I edited it on the fly in my head for the episode):

I must confess that dystopian fiction currently doesn’t have the impossible distance from the present for me that it once did. A story about three women navigating crumbling roads and misogyny in equal measure on a dangerous and frequently deadly road race could have come from this morning’s paper; we just happened to pluck it from Slate.

Get ready to meet three women who have come together with everything at stake, to literally drive toward a shared goal, without losing sight of their individual goals — or themselves — along the way.

This is If We Make It Through This Alive.

I’ve been working on an audiobook for six days, that we will finish tomorrow. This book is so much fun, and I have walked out of the booth on two different days, feeling like I did good work1 that day, like I made some cool art. I am exhausted at the end of each day, and I wake up tired, but I love this so much I can’t wait to get back into the booth to go back to work. What a blessing that is!

  1. I’m not sure if this comes across in text, but I know that my fellow actors know what I mean. It’s when we exit a scene and reaffirm to ourselves: “This is why we do it.” There are scenes that we get through because it’s our job, and there are also scenes that offer us the privilege of doing Good Work, of making Good Art in that moment. Scalzi gives me a lot of those gifts, and this author has given me a couple of wonderful surprises to unwrap. ↩︎
30 April, 2025 Wil 8 Comments
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good news, everyone!

Whoops. I misread my calendar, and this week’s It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton is not the final episode. And it is not the episode I teased in the blog post I sent out to the equivalent of a sold-out hockey arena in 1997, on purpose. Excellent! Print it and we are moving on!

So. There are more episodes left than I thought, which is awesome, and I am kind of embarrassed about making such a silly mistake in public, which is not awesome. I guess, though, if you have to do something cringey in public, there are, like … so many worse ways to do that. So, on balance: neutral awesome, can not use edged weapons for d6 rounds, save ends.

ANYWAY. Please allow me to tease this week’s actual story:

Get ready to meet three women who have come together with everything at stake, to literally drive toward a shared goal, without losing sight of their individual goals — or themselves — along the way.

I know I say this every time, but it’s so good. You’re going to love it.

Oh guess what? I just made my save because I realized that … from a certain point of view … my formerly-embarrassing error resulted in a double preview, a super sneak peak, a preteaser. I’m going to tell myself that’s clever marketing and take half damage.

Okay, real quick before I go back to watching the playoffs: since I’m hitting your inbox twice in one day, I may as well point you to this lovely video that Star Trek made when a bunch of us from the Star Trek universe went to Star Trek: Red Alert together at Universal Studios’ Fan Fest Nights1 last week. Watch it all the way to the end, if you want to feel some feelings.

Thank you for your patience with Old Man Wheaton when he is having A Day. I appreciate you.

  1. It’s such a cool event! The immersion across the board exceeded my expectations, and I can see this taking off the way Horror Nights has. ↩︎
28 April, 2025 Wil 23 Comments

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It's Storytime with Wil Wheaton


Every Wednesday, Wil narrates a new short fiction story. Available right here, or wherever you get your podcasts. Also available at Patreon.

Wil Wheaton’s Audiobooks

Still Just A Geek is available wherever you get your audiobooks.

My books Dancing Barefoot, The Happiest Days of Our Lives, and Dead Trees Give No Shelter, are all available, performed by me. You can listen to them for free, or download them, at wilwheaton.bandcamp.com.

Wil Wheaton’s Books

My New York Times bestselling memoir, Still Just A Geek is available wherever you get your books.


Visit Wil Wheaton Books dot Com for free stories, eBooks, and lots of other stuff I’ve created, including The Day After and Other Stories, and Hunter: A short, pay-what-you-want sci-fi story.

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