Over the last two days, I’ve started to feel a little bit better. My spleen is still so enlarged I risk bursting it at just about every turn (boy, that’s a lot of fun) but the various medicines my doctor prescribed have taken care of the secondary infections in my sinuses and throat, so while I’m super exhausted, at least I’m not in any pain.
You know what sucks? I haven’t been able to do much more than passively watch DVDs, because even trying to focus long enough to read is exhausting. I can’t even think about trying to write anything, either, so I feel like I’m just wasting time and losing days . . . and even though I know it’s what I have to do, it’s still annoying.
Because I can’t do much of anything, Anne has become responsible for everything we normally share, like getting the kids to and from school, preparing meals, feeding the dogs, keeping the house clean and all that stuff.
When I told Anne that I just hate it that I can’t help her, especially since I keep asking her to do stuff for me, she said, “It’s okay. This is the ‘sickness’ part of ‘sickness and health.'”
My wife is the most awesome person in the universe. She’s made this experience much less miserable for me, with her compassion, patience and understanding. Hopefully, it will only be another week or so before I have the strength to pick up at least a little bit of the slack around here.

I can only sit up for about ten minutes at a time before I get dizzy, so I’m going to make this brief:
It has come to my attention that many people are upset with me, and some of them are even angry at me that I can’t make it out to New Orleans for Red Hat on June 1.
Anyone who knows me will not be surprised to hear that I’m not happy about missing the conference, and I’m pissed that I can’t finish the ACME show I’ve worked on for six months, but but there is just nothing I can do to make my body heal itself faster. Quite honestly, I’m a more than a little offended that anyone would expect me to perform under these circumstances, then have the nerve to get angry with me when I can’t . . . but I won’t go into a medication-fuled rant about that.
However, I really do feel terrible that I can’t make this conference. I feel like I’m letting a lot of people down, and I just want to take a moment and make a very public apology to the Red Hat summit organizers, Jon and Shari at igrep, and especially everyone who was looking forward to hearing me speak. I wish things were different, and I wish I could take two magic pills and make a full recovery in two days instead of two months . . . but it’s entirely out of my hands.

On Saturday night, I started to get the aches that usually signal the begining of the flu: my neck, lower back, upper arms and backs of my hands. By Sunday morning, I could hardly get out of bed, which was sort of a problem, because I was supposed to be in a wedding.
So I took it easy all morning, took a mega-dose of cold medicine right before the ceremony started, and did a nice job in an incredibly beautiful ceremony.
I spent most of the reception in a chair, which meant I was a pretty lousy date for my stunningly beautiful wife, but as usual she never wanted for a dance partner.
Sunday night, I woke up nearly suffocating on the phlegmy shit in my throat, in so much pain I couldn’t swallow. I think I slept for about 52 minutes and when I woke up I couldn’t even talk. Good times, lots of really good times. Monday morning I started running a fever, averaging about 101.5. So I gave in, admitted I was sick, and saw my doctor this morning. Holy mother of shit. I hit the trifecta:

1. A severe sinus infection
2. excra-something tonsillitis
3. and the mother of them all: Mono.

So that sort of explains why I have felt so tired for the last two weeks, and why nothing I do seems to make this infection get any better.
My doctor has ordered me to stay in bed for at least the next week, and he said that it will take anywhere from ten days to two months to completely get over the infections, so I’m probably not going to be able to finish the ACME run, and since I can’t fly, I don’t get to go speak at the Red Hat conference on June 1.
Because this is all viral, all I can do is take stuff to help me feel not quite so bad, and because it’s mono, I have to rest for about three hours to get fifteen good minutes of anything done.
I probably won’t be updating my blog very much for the next seven or ten days. If you’re waiting for your Just A Geek from the fundraiser, I’m about half-way through. I’m doing my very best to get them all signed and shipped, but I hope everyone understands that I’m at about 30% right now. Okay, time to go sleep again.

Boy, this has been a prolific morning for me, hasn’t it? Before I walk away from the computer for the rest of the weekend (yeah, right!) . . . I forgot to mention that I will not be in ACME: A Day in the Life tomorrow, because I’m in my friend’s wedding. (Hooray! Congratulations Stephanie and Patrick!)
A brilliant actor is covering all of my roles, and the show will still be fantastic, and worth seeing, but if you were planning to see my particular version of teh funnay, you’ll have to wait until next week.
Okay, I’m totally walking away now.
Seriously! I am.
Shut up!
Oh, crap! I forgot: the story I did with Xeni for Day to Day will hit the Internets around 3PM EDT today.
Okay, now I’m walking away.
Have a great weekend, everyone.

I like to think that I’m a pretty competent parent. I don’t try to be my stepkids’ buddy. I have raised them to be kind, compassionate, and honest, and I’ve impressed upon them the importance of living an honorable life. I’ve tried my very best to help them understand that education = opportunity, and always encouraged them to be the very best Ryan and Nolan they can be. For ten years, Anne and I have raised the kids with natural and logical consequences (good and bad) for their choices, and I’ve always loved them unconditionally. Along the way, it’s been incredibly fun, the hardest thing I’ve ever done, a completely frustrating and thankless task, and the most wonderful and rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life. I have a fantastic relationship with both of the boys, and when I occasionally catch little flashes of my influence in their behavior, it’s all worth it.
But I still screw up from time to time, and last night I pulled a parental Bill Buckner.
I sat on the couch with Ryan and Nolan, and watched the two-hour finale of CSI. It was an intense and creepy episode, and by the last ten minutes of the second episode, we were all on the edge of our seats.
After a particularly tense and disgusting moment featuring fire ants, Nolan said, “Why don’t we have CSI on DVD?”
“Because it’s on TV fifteen times a day!” I said.
We went back to watching the show. After a minute or so, my parental sixth sense told me that Nolan had a dark little cloud over his head.
I replayed the last few moments, and immediately knew that it was my fault.
When Nolan said, “Why don’t we have CSI on DVD?” what he meant was, “Man! This is so cool! I love this show, and I love that we sit down and watch it together every week!”
And when I said, “Because it’s on TV fifteen times a day!” what he heard was, “I don’t care.”
I felt really bad, and after the show was over, I called him into the kitchen and told him how sorry I was.
“I wasn’t trying to put you down, or make you feel bad,” I said, “I just think it’s funny that CSI is on TV so much, is all.”
“Wil, it’s only on twice a day,” he said.
“Really? I thought it was on more.”
“Nope, just twice a day on Spike.”
“Oh. Well, that’s not the point, really. I feel like I hurt your feelings, and I wanted to apologize.”
“Okay.” He said.
He hugged me, I hugged him back, and he walked out into the dining room.
I stood alone in the kitchen and wondered if I’d made it better or worse. I couldn’t tell, which is pretty common with two teenagers. A few seconds passed, and Nolan poked his head into the doorway.
“Wil?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Nolan.”
Well, I guess I did okay this time.
As a post-script, if I may be so bold as to offer unsolicited advice to all you parents out there: I have found that it’s important to respect and be aware of your children’s feelings, and never minimize or invalidate them. I have also found that it’s even more important to be aware of how your actions impact your children, and when you screw up, it’s best to take responsibility and apologize. Your child will see that you’re not perfect, that you’re not afraid to admit that you’re not perfect, and will learn firsthand the importance of respecting other people’s feelings.