in which a suitcase is packed

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to get into a giant aluminium tube and fly across the continent to America's Wang. Then, on Sunday, I'll get on a boat and spend a week doing nerdy stuff with nerds in the middle of the ocean. It should be pretty awesome.

Earlier today, I folded my laundry, and put it on the bed. I laid out the various items of clothing I need to take with me on the cruise next week, carefully considering what nerd T-shirts would make the cut, and which ones would have to stay home.

I took my suit, and a clean white dress shirt out of the closet. I walked around the room, trying to find a place to hang them up. When I realized there wasn't a place to hang them up, I carefully laid them on the bed.

"The cats aren't in the house, so this will be fine here for a few minutes," I thought to myself.

I went into my office, and prepared my backpack: I took out some things I didn't need, including an old call sheet, and realized that the last time I took this backpack anywhere, I was working on Eureka. I had a little bit of a sad. I put some books in a pocket next to my Kindle. I put my bag of dice inside, and grabbed a couple of small, social games: Werewolf, Resistance, Fluxx, and a couple of Button Men, just in case. I printed out my performance setlist and put it into the pocket where I'd usually put my laptop. (My laptop is staying home, because the Internet on the ship costs eleventy billion dollars a second, and I'd rather read books, play games, and relax in the sun with my friends and family than hang out online, where I spend pretty much all of my free time when we're home.

I made sure my various chargers, extra batteries, headphones, and other nerd essentials were in their proper place. Then, having confirmed that I had everything I would need to entertain myself and survive a zombie apocalypse, I headed back into my bedroom to load up my suitcase.

My black cat was sleeping in the middle of my white dress shirt. My black and white cat was sleeping on my black kilt.

"Are you fucking serious, you guys?" I said. 

The cats did not reply. One of them rolled over and purred enthusiastically, while the other put her ears back and flicked her tail.

I sighed. "Okay, get up," I said. "These are going back into the closet until I pack them."

The cats let me know that they were very displeased with me, in the usual manner. I let them know that I would get over it, in the usual manner.

I hung up my fancy clothes, and put my normal clothes into my suitcase. The cats glared at me from the floor.

"You'll get over it," I said.

That's when I realized that I was alone in the house, and talking to my cats.

…turns out that this is the perfect time to take a working vacation.

26 thoughts on “in which a suitcase is packed”

  1. I have a black and white cat, so I get the extra joy of having visible cat hair over any outfit!
    I think all cat owners talk to their cats. I once wondered if I could go a whole day without making up a song about him or talking to him as if he understood English. I think the most I’ve gone is an hour. :)

  2. As a cat owner myself, I at least have the small consolation of knowing that since adult cats do not normally meow to each other to communicate, when they meow at me they’re talking to the human just like I’m talking to the cats.
    May the trip be safe and incredibly enjoyable. While I’m not normally intrigued by the thought of a cruise, this one sounds amazing and I’ll hope there’s a JoCo cruise version III next year.
    (You posts about the cruise have taught me that I apparently live in America’s Wang, which is a lovely thought. In fact, considering my location in said Wang, I may well live in Ballville. Erm. Now I don’t even want to think about the humidity here. Moving on…)
    And finally, I know this is a relatively longish comment, but it is my first. Like most people, I remember you from Star Trek. Somewhere along the way, I learned you were a fellow gamer. Then a while ago I read some of your archived WWdN posts and liked them. Since then I’ve seen you on The Guild, on The Big Bang Theory, and in random performance videos. I went back to looking for blog posts and other tidbits you’ve peppered around the Internet.
    Basically, I’ve become a big fan. You’re entertaining, humorous, and more importantly, you seem to be a genuinely good person. This makes me proud to be a fellow geek. Thanks for sharing all the interesting stories and such with us! I’ll be happily reading along in the future.

  3. Oh, not cool, sir. Not cool. You broke the sacred “Boo-boo Kitty Rule.” Thou shalt not disturb the kitty (or doggy) while at rest.
    Oh, Wil. I am so disappointed.
    Note: The BBK allows you to get out of all manner of chores, too, if it means getting up will disturb the rest of said Boo-boo.

  4. All of us with cats KNEW what was coming! And it is perfectly normal nerd behavior to talk to cats. Sometimes it’s the most intelligent conversation you’ll have all day. BTW do you have the Monty Python version of Fluxx?

  5. We don’t have a cat anymore, but there are heaps of neighbourhood cats who roam around the area and appear whenever I’m wearing dress pants. The tape dispenser at my desk is my only saving grace!
    P.S. You left the parentheses open in the 3rd paragraph!

  6. Have a great time on your cruise Wil. I’m in Florida myself at Megacon.
    I also have converstations with my cat ona daily basis.

  7. Have fun on the cruise!
    All I do is talk to my cats some days. I will say that at least mine color coordinate themselves. Black clothes on the top of the clean laundry in the laundry basket? Look! The black cat is there! Longhorns sweatshirt left on the back of the couch? Look! The orange cat is there! Of course, they will deign to sit on something that doesn’t match them, but, yeah, no clothes get laid out on the bed in my house, ever.
    Anyway, have a great, great time, Wil!

  8. We’ve got two cats, ome white, one black, so we’re basically screwed when it comes to fur on clothes.
    If talking to them indicates the need of a vacation, then I’m really in trouble.
    Enjoy the cruise!

  9. A similar thing happened to me while I was home in England over Christmas, and was just unpacking a brand new *black* suitcase my mum had given me. The family cat, who is a *white* Persian, took the opening of the zip for the first time as some grand introduction for her to jump into the suitcase. It didn’t matter how many times I took her out, she just kept leaping in, even on top of clothes that were being put in there. She even sneaked up BEHIND me and tried to leap in.
    The other day I found some long white hairs on my jacket that was in there and had a bit of a sad, too :(

  10. Amazing, how they always find the clothes they least match. When I was growing up, we had a black-and-white cat who was very good at getting into fresh laundry. It didn’t matter what color you were wearing. The cat hairs showed up.

  11. We actually keep a pair of decoy pants to lay out when we first make the bed. Once the cats have settled down on the decoy pants, it is generally safe to lay out the real clothes.

  12. We have 2 cats we rescued from a shelter (8 month old brother and sister) Linus and Lucy, and they are getting into everything – recently they discovered the joys of the clean clothes just out of the dryer I know the clothes are clean but I just don’t care because they are sooooo cute. But I really get this mental picture of you reasoning with your cats and then I die laughing knowing that no matter how hard you try to tell them they will just glare at you

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