WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Things every person should have

  • WWdN in Exile

Things every person should have:

  • A nemesis.
  • An evil twin.
  • A secret headquarters.
  • An escape hatch.
  • A partner in crime.
  • A secret identity.

What else?

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13 March, 2012 Wil

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I spent way too much time on this. → ← life imitates art (or: I don’t know much about brain scans, but I’ll help you fix your computer.)

155 thoughts on “Things every person should have”

  1. Rhettro says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    A bag of nachos.
    What?

  2. Maddan564 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    A cape, most likely black or red.

  3. Rob Tarr says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    A catch-phrase.

  4. Tim Miller says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    An endless supply of peanut butter (brand of their choice).

  5. twitter.com/lunarobverse says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    A towel. Or at least know where one is.

  6. Jon Wise says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    A death ray.

  7. Billybob476 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    A bearded mirror-universe double.

  8. Euan McGill says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    An army of red-shirted henchmen

  9. Corucia44 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Theme music
    a chance to live happily ever after

  10. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    A romantic interest/lover.

  11. Jeff from Vegas says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Capes are no good. Didn’t you see The Incredibles?

  12. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Or in this case a clean-shaven mirror-universe double.

  13. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    A secret weapon.

  14. Jeff from Vegas says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    A second-in-command (Number 2).

  15. TheChrisReese says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    A patsy. A fall-guy

  16. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    You mean Number One?

  17. Jeff from Vegas says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Also, your secret headquarters needs a well-stocked laboratory, and it needs to be in some remote place (North Pole, Himalayas, small island in the middle of the Pacific, etc.).

  18. Jeff from Vegas says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    I was thinking more of Number Two from Austin Powers.

  19. twitter.com/fitzwillie says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    A scar, and an awesome story about how they got it.

  20. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    But the context begs for Number One…

  21. Amandageddon says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    No capes!

  22. Amandageddon says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    A Plan B.

  23. tikilovegod says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    An infernal contraption

  24. Dan McDevitt says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Manners.

  25. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=25917151 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    An ascot.

  26. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    A Fez

  27. Kimberly Shoaf says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    A good blaster at your side.

  28. Blatherbybubbe.wordpress.com says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    A blog or two as entertaining as this one to follow. (Yeah, I’m kissing up, but I get so much enjoyment here I couldn’t resist!)

  29. Daireen says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    An idea that just.
    Might.
    Work.

  30. My3GirlsRBest says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    An alibi.

  31. R J Mote says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    A beard. In the event a beard cannot be grown, a suitably nefarious and/or steampunkish handlebar mustache may be substituted.
    If facial hair is not an option, a hench-beard may be hired (Henchbeings, Underlings, Menials, Peons and Sycophants Union approved, of course).

  32. Victoria Clout says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    A catch phrase and a signature move/or take down for enemies.

  33. Gandhi aus Deutschland says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    – a Mom and Dad to love, and to be loved by
    – a home to find those to love
    – and still….. SOMEONE TO LOVE

  34. Gandhi aus Deutschland says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    maybe I’m wrong, but I dont think so……

  35. Maddan564 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    yeah man, but capes are cool… they look edgy, plus how lame does spiderman look?

  36. Sihaya says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    A handy diversion.

  37. Melanie Vrba says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    An expendable crew member.

  38. Ericostby says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    A comprehensive knowledge of the Evil Overlord list (just in case).

  39. 58limited says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    1. Home brew
    2. Minions
    3. A fireplace to relax by and sip cognac after causing mayhem, preferably with a bear skin rug in front of it

  40. Paul Howard says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    That’s easy. Everyone should have someone to sing “Soft Kitty” to them when they are sick.

  41. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    An ace in the hole

  42. Frank Ozaki says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    a soundtrack, and something to look forward to.

  43. Birma Gainor says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    A femme fatale.Or the masculine equivalent. Homme fatale I guess? Anyways, a sexy second that could betray them at any moment for the right incentive (that being the sexy hero).

  44. jlagrua says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    A non-descript door in an utterly silent, non-descript hallway of your hidden lair, which, upon opening reveals an army of black-suited, ninja, commando asassins, shooting submachineguns & flamethrowers, rapelling on ropes, and Kung Fu fighting in an enormous cavern.
    Upon closing the door, he hallway is, once again, totally, and eerily, silent.

  45. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    A sandwich.

  46. Shannon Moncure says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    A dark secret, obviously. Otherwise, what’s it all for?

  47. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    A “Wesley Crusher” who can cane come in and save the day.

  48. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Yeah, Riker on TNG was Number 1.

  49. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    A degree or skill that they can fall back on in case it all fails.

  50. Antiavenger says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Simple; a confidant.

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