155 thoughts on “Things every person should have”

1. A bag of nachos.
   What?

2. A cape, most likely black or red.

3. A catch-phrase.

4. An endless supply of peanut butter (brand of their choice).

5. A towel. Or at least know where one is.

6. A death ray.

7. A bearded mirror-universe double.

8. An army of red-shirted henchmen

9. Theme music
   a chance to live happily ever after

10. A romantic interest/lover.

11. Capes are no good. Didn’t you see The Incredibles?

12. Or in this case a clean-shaven mirror-universe double.

13. A secret weapon.

14. A second-in-command (Number 2).

15. A patsy. A fall-guy

16. You mean Number One?

17. Also, your secret headquarters needs a well-stocked laboratory, and it needs to be in some remote place (North Pole, Himalayas, small island in the middle of the Pacific, etc.).

18. I was thinking more of Number Two from Austin Powers.

19. A scar, and an awesome story about how they got it.

20. But the context begs for Number One…

21. No capes!

22. A Plan B.

23. An infernal contraption

24. Manners.

25. An ascot.

26. A Fez

27. A good blaster at your side.

28. A blog or two as entertaining as this one to follow. (Yeah, I’m kissing up, but I get so much enjoyment here I couldn’t resist!)

29. An idea that just.
    Might.
    Work.

30. An alibi.

31. A beard. In the event a beard cannot be grown, a suitably nefarious and/or steampunkish handlebar mustache may be substituted.
    If facial hair is not an option, a hench-beard may be hired (Henchbeings, Underlings, Menials, Peons and Sycophants Union approved, of course).

32. A catch phrase and a signature move/or take down for enemies.

33. - a Mom and Dad to love, and to be loved by
    - a home to find those to love
    - and still….. SOMEONE TO LOVE

34. maybe I’m wrong, but I dont think so……

35. yeah man, but capes are cool… they look edgy, plus how lame does spiderman look?

36. A handy diversion.

37. An expendable crew member.

38. A comprehensive knowledge of the Evil Overlord list (just in case).

39. 1. Home brew
    2. Minions
    3. A fireplace to relax by and sip cognac after causing mayhem, preferably with a bear skin rug in front of it

40. That’s easy. Everyone should have someone to sing “Soft Kitty” to them when they are sick.

41. An ace in the hole

42. a soundtrack, and something to look forward to.

43. A femme fatale.Or the masculine equivalent. Homme fatale I guess? Anyways, a sexy second that could betray them at any moment for the right incentive (that being the sexy hero).

44. A non-descript door in an utterly silent, non-descript hallway of your hidden lair, which, upon opening reveals an army of black-suited, ninja, commando asassins, shooting submachineguns & flamethrowers, rapelling on ropes, and Kung Fu fighting in an enormous cavern.
    Upon closing the door, he hallway is, once again, totally, and eerily, silent.

45. A sandwich.

46. A dark secret, obviously. Otherwise, what’s it all for?

47. A “Wesley Crusher” who can cane come in and save the day.

48. Yeah, Riker on TNG was Number 1.

49. A degree or skill that they can fall back on in case it all fails.

50. Simple; a confidant.

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