Lateralus

I loved those old vinyl Halloween costumes. I loved how cheesy they were, and how they smelled.
Remember them? They had that plastic mask, with the rubber cord that dug into your scalp? And your breath would condense around the mouthpiece, and you’d end up taking it off, so you wouldn’t be wearing that Luke Skywalker mask, you’d just be wearing a plastic shirt?
Retrocrush has a great article about those costumes.
What a difference 24 hours makes. I’m feeling much better today, after getting so much stuff off my chest yesterday. Sorry if it seemed like I was whining. That wasn’t my intention. Good thing is, some of my funny has returned.
Went out to dinner last night with my wife, which we haven’t been able to do for weeks. There was a long wait, so we sat in the bar until our table was ready.
There’s this large party next to us, also waiting to be seated. They are quite drunk. Their name is called (“Donner, party of 8? Donner party?” har.), and they get up to go. The bar waitress tells them that she’ll have her drinks sent to their table.
One guy, this tall, mullet-headed, acidwashed-jeaned, pink-shirted guy stands up, and gets way to close to her, and says, “Hey, baby, come over here with me, and I’ll take care of the tab.”
She looks at him, and tells him that her register-thing is the other way, but the guy is so drunk, and so lame that he is insisting that she follow him. He takes out his wallet, and produces a wad of bills to emphasize his point.
She just keeps walking, and he drunkenly walks into the restaurant with his buddies.
So I’ve got a soda coming my way, and our name is called (“Jass? Party of 2? Jass?” har.). So I walk over to the waitress, and tell her that we’ve been called, and could she please make sure that my soda is brought to our table.
She says sure, and I pause for a second, and say, “Or, if you’d rather, I can put on my pink shirt, invade your personal space, and hit on you. Whichever you’d prefer.”
She cracks up, and says, “Oh my god. What was with that guy? Thanks. That was really funny.”
And I felt genuinely good for the first time in days, because I made someone laugh, hard.
There was much rejoicing.