I came to an interesting realization while I was in Portland: since I published Dancing Barefoot, my life is happier, more fulfilling, and busier than in the last several years. I think I’ve got a cranial cron job that runs about once a minute that rotates the logs in /dev/brain/
The sad part of this is, I forget to do things, like finish the freakin’ CruiseTrek stories, even though it’s been sitting here on my iBook for three weeks.
Sorry. My bad.
Here’s is what happened on Day 6: Fanning Island, and my class.
CruiseTrek — Day 6 to
Thursday, 04 June, 2003
In the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that I am writing this from our family physical therapist’s office. Ryan severely hurt his shoulder and arm while we were gone (his coach left him in a baseball game too long while he was pitching, I guess) and he’s getting worked on right now.
The last two days of the cruise presented a couple of choices to me: sit inside and blog, or hang out with my wife and new friends, and enjoy the sun and sea. To be honest, it really wasn’t that difficult of a choice.
So this is all written from the banality of a grey-carpeted waiting room, beneath a wall covered with autographed pictures of famous sports figures our doctor works on Vlade Divac, Oscar de la Hoya, Magic Johnson, The New York Yankees), while “smooth jazz” assaults me from a radio on the receptionist’s desk.
When I last wrote from the cruise, — oh god. the DJ just informed me that there’s a “block of Kenny G coming right up.”
When I last wrote from the cruise, we were at Fanning Island, in the Republic of Kiribati. The cruise line visits Fanning Island because, as a foreign built ship, they are required by law to visit a foreign port before returning to a US port. So we travelled 1200 miles southwest from Hilo to Fanning.
Fanning Island is absolutely beautiful, and mostly untouched. It is just 220 miles North of the equator.
Because our ship blew out an engine, we arrived at Fanning almost three hours (maybe it was two, I can’t recall) late, so we were only there for a short time. But during our time there, Anne and I walked along a long stretch of totally deserted beach (picking up all sorts of trash left by previous passengers), floated in the lagoon, took tons of pictures, and enjoyed the unspoiled beauty of the island. About 40 minutes before the last tender left for the ship, we noticed that most of the other cruise passengers had already left. The area where we were was silent, and we stood in the ankle-deep water of the lagoon, listening to the water wash around our feet, while unseen birds sang in the jungle behind us. The solitude was unforgettable.
When we returned to the ship, I parked myself on our veranda and went over my notes for the class I was teaching on building, maintaining, and grokking a weblog. I’ve never taught a class like that before, and I was terrified that I was going to suck.
The class ended up going very well. There were only four real students, but Tom and Dori joined us, along with Randal and Andy. Sitting there at my iBook, surrounded by REALLY smart people, who are also accomplished writers and webloggers, I really felt like a total piker, and I was really happy when they would toss in their experiences and offer suggestions. I don’t know if the students realized what a great bunch of minds were in that room . . . but I sure did! I think the guys who showed up learned something, though, and they got blogs up and running at blogger before we finished. If any of you guys are reading this, send me an e-mail, and I’ll link ya.
When the class was finished, I attended another CruiseTrek event, another actor’s panel, this time with all of us: Chase, Manu, George, and Vaughn. I was asked something about Hollywood, and I quickly expressed how much I hate the entertainment industry, and how hard it’s been for me to find success like I had when I was a kid. I talked about how lousy casting people have treated me, and how I don’t understand why The Powers That Be have been so incredibly terrible to me since I left the show when I was 18. In retrospect, I felt like I totally brought the place down, but it’s what was on my mind when the question was asked. I told them all how much happier I am now, focusing my creative energy on writing, and how surprised and touched I am by the reaction to my book. When I was finished, a few people told me that they were glad I said the things I did, but if I could do it again, I’d keep my big mouth shut.
Anne and I spent the rest of the afternoon goofing off on the ship, enjoying the incredibly beautiful Pacific Ocean. At one point, we were looking out at the horizon, and I said to her, “This ship is so huge . . . but when we compare it to the ocean we’re sitting on . . . it is — we are — so insignificant. I kind of like that.”
NEXT: Maui and Kauai

I was about six steps through the door when Amber approached me.
“We have completely sold out of your book!” She looked concerned.
I took a moment to digest this exceedingly good news. I’d just walked into my very first in-store book signing. I didn’t know what would happen . . . but a sell-out never entered my mind.
“That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard,” I said, as I took my iBook bag off my shoulder.

Pasadena, 30 hours eariler
I’m packing my bags for the trip to OSCon. Ferris lays on the bed, looking at me with her “I see the suitcase, so I know you’re going to be gone” look.
I fold some pants and The Shirt 2.0. Anne walks into our room.
“Are you taking any extra books?” she asks.
“No, I don’t think so. Powell’s already ordered a ton of them. I think I’ll be okay.” I put my folded shirts into my bag.
“You should really take some extras, Wil,” she says.
Ferris sighs and rolls onto her side. The tip of her tail wags against my cat, Sketch.
“I really don’t think there are going to be that many people there. I don’t want to schlep a bunch of books up there and back,” I tell her. “Besides, my bag is full.”
She looks into my suitcase. Sketch meows at Ferris and jumps off the bed.
“You’re taking two pair of shoes for a 36 hour trip?”
“Well . . . yeah.”
“Why?”
I resist the urge to shout, “I learned it from you, okay?! I learned it by watching you!!” Instead, I say, “Dress shoes for my reading, and Converse for the rest of the time.”
“If you take your dress shows out, you can lose your dress pants, too. Just take your jeans and wear your converse. You can put books in the extra space.”
“But I think I should look nice for –”
“You’re going to a computer convention, dork. You’d be better off wearing your Trogdor shirt.”
I’ve already packed it, but I don’t tell her. Ferris exhales loudly and stretches out on her back. Riley walks into our room and sits at Anne’s feet. She looks up, expectantly.
Anne pets her and says, “You’re going to regret it if you get there and you don’t have books for everyone. You’ll feel bad, and you’ll lose sales. Just take a few.”
I’ve learned something in the seven and a half years I’ve known and loved her: she’s always right about this stuff.
“Okay,” I say. Riley thinks I’m talking to her, and jumps on the bed. Ferris flips over and snarls at her.
I end up packing an additional 47 books.
Riley jumps off the bed.
I put my bag on the counter.
“This is the biggest crowd we have ever had at this store. For anything,” she said to me.
“Really?!” I said.
“Yes! And we’ve never sold out of a book before. Usually, we’ll sell about ten or so.”
“Oh my god. This is so cool!” I said, as I opened my bag, “it’s a good thing I listened to my wife!”
She was visibly relieved when I began putting small stacks of books on the counter.
“I’ll take all the books you have in there,” she said, “and we may even have to issue rain checks.”
Rain checks?! I thought, Holy crap! This is so cool!!
I gave them to her, and she began putting stickers on them. There were two other authors there, too, so I snuck away to a back room to prepare while they talked about their books.
Even though I’ve read these stories countless times, and even though I lived them all, I feel a need to familiarize myself with them before I perform them. Even though this book is doing unbelievably well in terms of sales and audience response, I’ve been nervous each time I take them before a crowd.
Last night, I had some giddy excitement to go along with the nerves. I felt good. I was marking a significant waypoint on my journey from actor to author. I was taking my work to an audience that was NOT at a Star Trek convention. There were lots of non-Trekkies in this crowd. This was a big test for me.
The other authors talked for about 30 minutes, and then it was my turn.
I read two selections from Dancing Barefoot: Inferno, and a selection from SpongeBob Vegas Pants. I had a really good time bringing my memories to life (especially “Inferno,” because I was staying in Portland with my friends Steve and Julie, who I know from high school. They both know my best friend Darin, and Steve knew Misty, who are both characters in the story.)
When I was finished reading, I looked up to thank the crowd for coming, and saw that it had grown substantially since I began. I was elated. All these people came, and stayed, and listened to me, and shared in this experience with me for almost an hour. I earned their time and attention. I earned it with my words. I passed the test. It was a wonderful feeling.
I sat down at a little table they’d set up for me, which had a laminated “Meet Wil Wheaton, author of Dancing Barefoot” sign on it. The crowd transformed itself from a mass to a line (like Optimus Prime, but without the cool sound effects) and I began to sign books.
I signed for people from just about every demographic you can imagine. Many of them had their own copies of my book, that they’d bought online or earlier in the day from Powell’s. They complimented me on my website, on my performance, even on my cool shirt.
I signed a girl’s celebrity bible, right there next to Dr. Demento, and I met the project lead for Quanta Plus, a web development application that I love and use regularly. Eric Raymond, author of Cathedral and the Bazaar, and major force in the Open Source movement also came and listened to me read. He even sat right in the front. He had several kind words for me when I was done. It was awesome.
When I was just down to my last three books, a guy walked over to me, and extended his hand.
“Hi, Wil,” he said, “I’m Tim O’Reilly.”
My brain screamed at me, “HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING SHIT WIL!!! IT’S TIM O’REILLY!! HE CAME OUT TO SEE YOU!!!”
Before I could scream out, “I KNOW!!! I KNOW!! I KNOW!!!! GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!!” my brain said, “Stay cool, Wil. Don’t geek out.”
I was grateful for all those times I didn’t stab my brain with a key, and listened to it.
“It’s really nice to meet you,” I said. I was very proud of myself . . . and kept my geeking out to a minimum. “Your books have made my life much easier, and much more interesting.”
Check me out. I totally behaved myself.
“Nicely done,” said my brain.
He said something about how he’d heard good things about my book, and thanked me for coming to OSCon. (He thanked me for coming!)
“Would you like a copy of my book?” I asked him, “I have an extra one that you can have if you want it.”
“Sure,” he said, “but I’d rather buy it.”
So that’s what he did. Tim O’Reilly bought my little book. Randal has a picture of our meeting, wherein I recalibrate the scale for geeking out — but only on the inside. (I do that a lot, I’m discovering.)
Shortly after that, I sold my final book.
That’s right. I sold out all my books at OSCon, including the additional books I brought with me. Then I sold out all my books at the store, including the additional books I brought with me.
It’s a good thing I listened to my wife, eh?
I packed up my bag, and said good bye to Randal. He pointed at the little laminated “Meet Wil Wheaton, author of Dancing Barefoot” sign.
“You should take that, Wil. It’s from your first signing. You’re going to want that someday,” he said.
I picked it up off the table, and when I held it in my hands, I knew that he was right.
If you are reading this, and you were at the signing last night, I want to thank you again for being part of a significant moment in my life. Signing books, in a book store, and selling them all out . . . it’s better than the first time I got to sit at the helm of the Enterprise . . .
. . . because it was real.

I keep forgetting to post about this.
I did an interview for MovieHole last week. I think it’s pretty cool, and WWdN readers may want to check it out.

I just finished my signing in Powell’s convention bookstore booth . . .
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
I had a line the whole hour!!!

I was / am stunned. Powell’s actually sold out of the books they’d brought to the con in about 20 mnutes. Luckily, I’d brought some additional copies with me, and I SOLD OUT OF THOSE TOO!!!
(I understand that they still have enough for the signing tonight, but if you’re planning on picking one up there, you should probably reserve it, or get there early.)
The best part of this whole signing today, however, was the ratio of “I like Star Trek” to “I love your writing” people: it was about 2:7.
🙂

Highlights of OSCon (since I’ve been here less than 24 hours):

• A couple of kids just tossed these little Tux giveaways into a trashcan about 40 feet from me. “Bye bye, Penguins!” they said, before they ran, giggling, into the elevator after their parents.
• Randall picked me up from the airport, and we stopped off for a local IPA before coming to the con yesterday.
• I became a card-carrying member of the Free Software Foundation
• My flight here was the smoothest, most enjoyable flight I’ve taken in years. I watched three episodes of Family Guy on my iBook.
• It’s 90 degrees in Portland
• The accumulated knowledge in this building, if properly harnessed, could conquer all of Known Space.
• Randal’s party last night, at a local club called “Bar 71,” was insanely fun, and I didn’t drink enough to have a hangover today.
• At Randal’s party, I got to pet an Alpaca
• None of the much-smater-than-me geeks who are here have shoved in my face exactly how much smarter than me they all are. I’m sure I’ve showed my complete lack of geek-cred several times, but so far nobody’s outed me.
• I’m about to eat a sandwich that is sponsored by Microsoft . . . but I’m going to heavily modify the source before I eat it. so there.