The second part of the interview I did with Sequential Tart is up, as well as the very first official review of Just A Geek.
I read the entire interview (including part one) yesterday, and observed that Trisha and I talked just like we were a couple of friends, having a beer and playing darts. Everyone isn’t going to be as cool as she was, and I have to be careful in future interviews . . . if Trisha were a jerk (she’s not) she could really have taken advantage of my trust and the easy rapport we developed right around “hello.” If I’d stopped to think, “Dude, you’re doing an interview. Watch what you say, and be succinct,” it wouldn’t be nearly as rambling and “conversational” as it is . . . but it would also be pretty middle of the road, and not true to who I am. So here’s a public thank you to Trisha for not being a jerk, and burning me the way Entertainment We(a)kly did so many years ago.
Warning: I talk about politics in the second part, and it prompted the first ever disclaimer (“. . . the political opinions of Wil Wheaton do not reflect the opinions of the staff of Sequential Tart or its writers”) that’s ever accompanied any of my comments. So if you’re part of the “You’re with us or against us” crowd, I’ll just spare us both the headache, and urge you to go read the latest Strongbad e-mail instead.

It’s here! Kris made it! One hundred days of treatment for leukemia. This was the biggest goal for her and she did it!
I am so happy to be able to write this with such a happy ending. It’s been a very tough road for Kris, but I think a big part of staying so strong and focused on getting this far was all of the support she got from everyone who sent “mojo” her way and encouragement with all the donations (by the way, final score . . . $27,535.) Kris is feeling great and is going to be waiting at the finish line when we do the marathon in San Diego this Sunday.
Last week Kris called me and said she was really over not having any hair. She was going to go to a concert with her husband and just wanted to look “normal.” I know of this great wig shop in North Hollywood that also has a full beauty supply upstairs so we could test out some new make-up after getting new hair. With all the radiation and chemo, Kris lost all but about five eyelashes and three hairs in her eyebrows. Her skin tone is very gray and her entire body is very dry and flaky. Time for a change! I picked her up and we headed down for a makeover.
The girl in the wig shop was very nice and helpful, and we had a great time picking out wigs. Before Kris lost her hair, she had fairly long, slightly curly, light brown hair. We decided that jumping back into that might look a bit strange since all of her family, friends and neighbors have seen her with no hair and a chenille cap on for the past few months, so we looked for something a little more believable.
She thought maybe her husband might like a red head. We both started laughing because she tried on a wig that looked like Ann Margaret. I think the sales girl was a little uncomfortable at how silly we were being because Kris obviously looks like she has been very sick. But this whole experience has been so strange for both of us. We always talk about it like it’s this separate thing we’re watching happen to someone else. It has been an incredible learning experience though.
So we continue to pick out ridiculous wigs and Kris says “I can’t believe we forgot a camera!” I thought the sales girl was going to pass out. She seemed shocked that we were having so much fun with this. She tried on several others. One looked like “Mama’s Family”, another like a hooker. We finally decided on a shoulder length one with a cute flippy style. The bangs were kind of long, but I could trim that later. (By the way, she got a Raquel Welch wig. It’s synthetic hair, but very light and natural. And very reasonably priced. Around $90 versus the human hair wigs that average $400 and up.) She even ordered another one in a slightly lighter color and a little shorter for variety in summer!
Next, we went upstairs to find some make-up. She really wanted eyebrows and some color back in her face.
There were several girls working at this place, a few actually at the make-up counter. We looked around at all the different choices. I looked for someone to help us. It was then that I noticed that every counter we stopped at, the sales girl seemed to disappear. I became very aware of the people working there avoiding us. I didn’t point this out to Kris. Maybe she didn’t notice. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Didn’t they know what an awesome person Kris is? Didn’t they know she doesn’t always look like this? Why were they avoiding her? I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of anyone going out of their way to avoid helping someone just because of the way they look. But then again, we were in Hollywood.
I decided to take matters into my own hands. First, eyebrows. We found a good color so I drew them on. I didn’t realize what a difference eyebrows and lashes make. Just giving her eyebrows seemed to put life back into her face. Next, I lined her eyes with a light brown powder liner. That made an even bigger difference. Laura Mercier makes a great tinted moisturizer. You can choose from several different colors and it’s great because it’s not thick and cakey like foundation can be. A little blush and lip gloss (her lips are way too flaky for lipstick) and she looked like her old self again. She was so excited she whipped her new hair out of the box and put it on in the middle of the store. Of course, there was no reason to feel self- conscious because there were still no sales girls anywhere near us.
She was very excited and wanted to buy everything I used on her. I went across the store to a girl and asked her for help at the counter we’d been at for the past twenty minutes. She said she’d be right with us. We waited another five minutes before I asked someone else for help. The very unfriendly girl gave Kris the items we asked for and we were on our way.
Kris was so happy that she kept looking in the mirror on the way home. She said she has been avoiding mirrors for months because she gets depressed when she sees how she looks. But now she couldn’t wait for everyone to see her. I’m so glad I got to be a part of that.
Kris came into the salon where I work the next day for me to trim the bangs on her wig. Her lack of eyelashes make her eyes very sensitive to anything around them. The bangs kept rubbing on her eyes. I had just finished Wil’s mom’s hair when Kris came in. Again, we forgot the camera. Wil’s dad was on his way down to the salon, so we asked him to bring his camera. So we were able to capture this moment thanks to Rick (thanks Rick!).
Kris is now looking great and feeling great. And so are we. We’ve been walking like crazy preparing for this Sunday. My final post will be next week. I’ll tell you all about the marathon and will include a ton of pictures from the whole experience.
Thank you so much for all of your support. We never could have done this without you!

Anne and I have to get up at 4am on Sunday for the marathon, so all this week, we’re trying to reset our internal body clocks (notice I didn’t say ‘circadian rhythm’) a little bit earlier than normal,(so we’re not in a stupor at the starting line) by getting up earlier, and walking first thing.
Oh man, it’s hard. It was harder to get up this morning and walk three miles than it was to walk 13 miles on the weekend . . . but we’re doing it, and it feels very good to tell myself, “Look, man, you made a commitment to this marathon, and to Kris, and to Anne, and to everyone who has supported you. Get your fat lazy ass out of bed and walk.”
Anyway, I’m currently sitting at my dining room table, having a cup of coffee, and catching up on overnight e-mails. Anne just took the kids to school, but before they left, I asked them to hold a good thought for me at 10:50 this morning — as long as it didn’t disrupt their class.
“Why?” Nolan said.
“Because I have an audition.”
“What’s it for?”
“It’s a voice over commercial for Papermate.”
He grabbed his backpack, and while he was picking up his lunch in the kitchen he said, “Break a leg, Wil!”
That was so cool.
“Thanks, Nolan. I’ll do my best.”
“Okay! I love you! Bye!”
So now the house is quiet again, except for Felix crunching his breakfast behind me in the kitchen, and the chirping of baby birds in our breezeway.
I’m already tired . . . but it’s good tired, and I’m ready to face the day.

I’ve been alluding to some sort of exciting announcement for at least a week now, but every time I think I’m going to make it, something else comes up, and it keeps getting delayed.
So I guess I should just make the announcement, and go back to folding my clothes.
(Totally random aside: even though I’m married and have two stepkids, I still do laundry like a bachelor. About once every two weeks, my clothes will spill out of the hamper, and I’ll hear Anne call, “Wil?” from the bedroom.
Excitedly expecting some Skyrockets in Flight, I’ll race back there, only to find her standing near the hamper, one hand on her hip, the other pointing at the mass of clothes, as she gives me The Look.
My wife is the most patient and wonderful woman on the planet.)
Anyway, before I start going on and on about how awesome Anne is, here’s the Big news: starting with issue 114, I will be writing the back page of Dungeon magazine. My column is called . . . wait for it . . . “Wil Save.”
I’ve been reading Dungeon and Dragon off and on for years, but I’ve been playing D&D since the early days of the red box set. All through high school, I played GURPS, Illuminati, Car Wars, OGRE, Awful Green Things . . . and some games that were not released by Steve Jackson Games. The point is, I’ve got lots of sources for inspiration, and I will spend my first few columns looking back on 15 years of gaming, and what it means to me to be a Gamer now, compared to when I was younger.
It’s a pretty big deal to me to have a regular column anywhere . . . but to have the back page is something that I didn’t think I’d ever get, and I’m very grateful to the droogs at Dungeon for giving me an opportunity to share some of my experiences with their readers.

Bad News: Looks like I didn’t book any of those voice over jobs, since it’s been over a week and I haven’t heard anything.
Good News: WWdN reader Zack, was inspired by the possibility of my joining the cast, and penned the following missive, which made me giggle, then laugh, then fall over.
Not necessarily in that order.

FADE IN:
INT. DRUNKEN CLAM – NIGHT
BRIAN sits down at the bar with a martini, depressed. He SIGHS. Sitting next to him is WIL WHEATON, who notices.
WIL WHEATON
Something wrong?
BRIAN
Oh, I feel like no one treats me with respect, and judges me before they get to know me.
WIL WHEATON
Really? Same thing happens with me. What’s your problem?
BRIAN
Eh, I’m a talking dog.
WIL WHEATON
(takes a drink)
Mmm.
BRIAN
What’s yours?
WIL WHEATON
Oh, I played Wesley on ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation.’
Brian’s eyes go wide with horror. Wil notices. PETER and QUAGMIRE walk up. Peter has a beer.
WIL WHEATON (CONT’D)
What?
BRIAN
(caught)
Oh? Uh, um, nothing, nothing.
(points)
Hey, is that one of those old ‘Narc’ arcade games? Where, you ah, yeah —
He dissolves into mumbles as he quickly gets up and rushes off. Wil looks dejected. Peter pokes Wil.
PETER
Hey, ah, just one question — ?
WIL WHEATON
Yeah?
PETER
Did you, ah, did you ever…you know, think about Dr. Crusher when you…?
He makes a ‘come on’ gesture.
WIL WHEATON
What? I…I…she was my MOM!
PETER
(egging him on)
Yeah, but she was just an ACTRESS…
WIL WHEATON
Trust me, I…
PETER
(overlapping)
It’s okay, I just wanna–
WIL WHEATON
You’re making me uncomfortable…
PETER
Come on, I’m not trying to give you a hard time, just, you know, I’m a fan, I’m curious — hell I’d have done it. I mean, she was hot, huh?
Wil relaxes a little.
WIL WHEATON
Well..
(laughs)
Well, maybe there was this ONE time–
PETER
(cuts him off)
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
WIL WHEATON
(overlapping)
Wha–
PETER
She’s — she’s your MOM! I didn’t think you’d actually ADMIT —
WIL WHEATON
Wait, you said —
PETER
That is the sickest…you, you — GOD!
He throws his beer in Wil’s face and stomps off. Quagmire looks at Wil with disgust.
QUAGMIRE
Pervert.
He walks off, unbuckling his belt as he goes.
QUAGMIRE (CONT’D)
(from off)
Hey ladies, anyone wanna play ‘Clamdigger?’
Wil stares as we hear SCREAMS and a loud SLAP.
QUAGMIRE (CONT’D)
(from off)
Oh!
FADE OUT.
THE END.