Around 8:57 last night, I had a brief flash of panic: What if they cut my part down? I’m going to feel like the biggest jackass in history!
It was like that moment when you’re on a roller coaster, just before the chain catches and starts to pull you up the first hill: Is this going to be fun, or is it going to make me sick? But then the show started, and all I could do was watch.
I will admit that I felt my face flush when I saw my name on the screen. Anne and the kids cheered, and my stomach filled with butterflies. That was cool.
The show really reflected what I read in the script, almost word-for-word and beat-for-beat. I had forgotten that that is pretty common in television: so many people have to sign off on the story and dialogue that there is little change between what we shoot on the set and what the audience finally sees. It’s totally different in movies (theatrical or television) where the director and producers usually have much more time to cut something together, and there’s always a little bit of mystery about what is (and isn’t) going to finally make it into the final cut. Anyway, I mention it because I’d totally forgotten that’s how it is in television.
I knew that Walter was in the “B” story, and I knew that I only had a few scenes, so I relaxed. The only way they’d seriously cut my scenes down is if I just sucked out loud on the set, and I was fairly sure I didn’t.
When they found the shoe imprint under the kid’s window, Ryan turned to me and he said, “Oh! I totally know you did it, because that’s a Converse imprint!”
Before I could answer, Nolan said, “They had you wear your own shoes?”
“No,” I said. “I wore Converse from the wardrobe department that were exactly like mine but covered with dirt and oil and junk. It was funny to me that I’d take off my shoes each morning, and put on the exact same shoes, only dirty.”
“SHH!” Anne said. Apparently she was watching the show.
The show rolled on, and we all laughed out loud during the “only geeks say ‘da bomb'” scene. I guess I’m not a real geek, because I don’t think I’ve ever said “da bomb.” And if I do, I hope someone hits me in the back of the head so it never happens again.
I knew it would be a long time before I was on screen, but it still felt like an eternity . . . until someone mentioned “that creepy homeless guy” and my family cheered again.
“Oh! I know that guy!” I said, and laughed with them as my nerves started to get worked up again.
Then, suddenly, George and Gary drove into the park, and there was crazy Walter in his little tent.
I thought I looked a little chubby in my face (thank you, Stone Brewing company) but the real volatility that I was hoping for was definitely there. After they walked me off to the police car, Nolan said, “Man, that was scary!”
“It was cool, though,” Ryan said.
“Thanks, you guys.”
Couple of things about that scene:

• That was the first scene I filmed in the show, and I turned the excited “I can’t fucking believe I get to do this!” energy into “My! Name! Is! Walter!” and “It’s Mine!” Heh.
• We had to race to get it filmed, because the skies were really threatening to tear themselves open and rain all over us.
• They cut the scene before I got thrown into the police car, but on one of the takes, Joe Kelly threw me into the car so violently I flew across the seat and slammed my head into the door on the other side. In addition to the ringing in my ears, I got to enjoy the stabbing of a thousand wig pins. It really hurt, but because we were all worried about the rain, I didn’t say anything about it to anyone. I just quietly asked my costumer if she could hook me up with some Advil, which she did. So Walter’s totally hopped up on Advil in that scene.
• I had bruises for several days on my arms and in my ribs from struggling against the cops when they pulled me out of my cool little tent.
• Though it was on screen for about 22 seconds, it took close to two hours to shoot that sequence.
• We shot it in a park in The Valley, about a quarter of a mile from the location where the murdered kid’s house was.

Oh shit, it’s 11am. I haven’t showered yet, and I have to be at the Grand Slam Star Trek convention in 30 minutes.
It feels anti-climactic to stop this entry here, but I’ll write about the rest of the show later today or over the weekend.

So, uh . . . there’s a story about me in today’s New York Times.
Oh my god. The New York Times. And it’s incredible.
In 1000 words John Schwartz captures and communicates who I am, what I am, where I am, and (most importantly) why I am. I always hope that reporters will understand me, but John grokked me.
I spoke with John for about 90 minutes last week, and the story he wrote is in today’s edition of the Times: A Computer Is Also a Screen, Wil Wheaton Discovers.
I was going to buy the reprint rights so I could put it up here, but the Times wants $1,000 from me for a year, and as much as I’d like to spare you all the annoying-but-free registration, I think that money would be better spent on some bills. The bugmenot plugin for Firefox calls . . . 🙂 Update: or you can use this NYT-approved blog-friendly link. Thanks to countless e-mailers and commenters who pointed it out, and to Aaron Swartz who wrote the oh-so-useful code.
The absolute best part, the part that made me scream out in joy and run laps around my living room is:

Mr. Wheaton said that on the “CSI” set, he had to manage a potential conflict between his new writerly self and the professional actor. “It was unbelievably difficult for me the first two days I was working on the show to be very present,” he said. “They’d say ‘Cut!’ and I’d say, ‘I can’t wait to write about this!'”
If he was distracted, it didn’t show, said Duane Clark, the director of the episode. Mr. Wheaton had originally tried out for a smaller role, a hotel clerk. But after seeing his audition tape, Carol Mendelsohn, one of the executive producers, suggested giving him the meatier role of Walter, even though the writers had drawn him as an older alcoholic. A younger drug addict, she said, might prove more menacing, more interesting.
At first, Mr. Clark said, the writers said, “Wil Wheaton, a crack addict – are you nuts?” But Mr. Clark said that Mr. Wheaton brought “a lot of scary volatility” to the role.
“He really dug his teeth into it,” Mr. Clark said, “and on his own came up with a backstory of who Walter was.”
“He really filled out what could have been a caricature. ” he said.

Oh.
My.
God.
When I read that the producer and director believed in me, and the writers took a chance on me . . . well, I’m speechless.
And if all this wasn’t enough, John helps me put some nails into that “former child actor” coffin:

To Mr. Wheaton, the experience on “CSI” is proof, if any is needed, that he’s still in the game. “When you say a ‘former child star,’ you may as well say ‘failed child star,’ ” he said. “The fact is, Jodie Foster is a former child star. Ron Howard is a former child star. I am a former child star. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

I can’t wait to watch CSI tonight, and see how I did. I haven’t been this excited to see something I did since the first screening of Stand By Me.

Just A Geek has gotten a couple of nice reviews recently, and I wanted to share them with WWdN readers, because the book wouldn’t even exist without your support and encouragement.
Richard says:

It’s inspiring stuff. Wil’s tackling the challenges that life has thrown at him full on. In doing so, he’s rediscovered a skill for writing that is engrossing, engaging and even endearing. You feel for the guy as he tells of his struggles, as a working-class actor, to land roles in movies and shows; as he struggles to make ends meet. But you also cheer with him when he scores victories, and things come together, either getting back on the Trek circuit, or making the leap to embracing his current situation. He’s a long way away from the loaded actor I suppose I thought he was having had such roles earlier in his career. He really is Just a geek.

And The Impuslive Buy writes:

Despite not having chapters devoted to such things as the snacks you should have for a successful Dungeons & Dragons gathering, Just A Geek was a great read. Wil gives you a look into his personal life and his difficult journey to find himself.
This book was so entertaining that it was the first book in a long time I did not want to put down.
From reading Just A Geek, you find out that despite being a great actor and a wonderful writer, Wil is just a normal guy with basically the same problems we have all faced at one time or another, except we probably don

When I got home from What’s My Line? Live On Stage last night, I tossed my bag onto the couch (it’s a bag, okay? From ApacheCon, and I keep my books and appointment calendar and some gum and kleenex and stuff in it . . . but it’s not a purse. Let’s be clear about that. Not. A. Purse.) Uh, I tossed my not-a-purse onto the couch and went into my office to check my e-mail and scan the news headlines.
I was a little surprised when I sat down and saw that Google News, which is my homepage, was displaying a 502 error. I hit F5, and the page came back up . . . and revealed that the HiveMind at Google has bestowed upon us the ability to customize Google News.
Holy crap, man! It’s very cool. I now have a “Wil Wheaton” section, a “Fark” section, and a “Monkey Attack” section, to go along with all the other default sections. I also got rid of the “Business” section, which I never read anyway. Control freaks of the world rejoice!
Whenever something comes along that makes the Internets more useful, I sing a little song and jump around a little bit.
Good jorb, Googleoids.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in a concept-album-o-centric house. Maybe it’s because I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know all the words to Abbey Road and Dark Side of the Moon. Maybe it’s because I’ve always hated pop music with the white-hot intensity of a billion supernovas. Maybe it’s the beer talking, Marge, but you’ve got a butt that won’t quit. Maybe it’s because my Id beat the everliving shit out of my Superego years ago . . . but music has never been light, disposable, background noise to me. Music has been as much a part of my life as oxygen and water, and I’m über passionate about what I like and don’t like.
I know that I’m late to the party on this by about eight years, but about two weeks ago I discovered a band I really like: Wilco.
Oh my god. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.
The last album to work its way deep into the nanofibers of my being like YHF was OK Computer. I’ve heard the name “Wilco” all over the place, especially because I’m such a nerd for The Conet Project, but I can’t believe I hadn’t actually heard this record until now.
I’ve been so totally blown away by YHF that yesterday, I picked up two more Wilco discs: being there, and a ghost is born.
Oh my god. Being There.
Oh my god. A Ghost is Born.
If my Wilco Smart Playlist was an audio tape, I would have burned it out in the last 24 hours. If it was a pair of shoes, the heels would be worn right through. If it was a million dollars, I would have used it to buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat, because that’s cruel.)
If you like some of the other books and movies and crap that I like, and you haven’t heard it yet, get Yankee Hotel Foxtrot right now. It’s not filled with jaunty little hooks that you can sing to yourself while you wait for the train — it’s much better, and much more rewarding, than that.