oh bother.

At John Scalzi’s Whatever, I just read

As part of a barrel-full of Winnie the Pooh anniversary events, Disney is working on a new animated series that will replace Christopher Robin with a 6-year-old girl.

"We got raised eyebrows even in-house at first, but the feeling
was these timeless characters really needed a breath of fresh air that
only the introduction of someone new could provide," says Nancy Kanter
of the Disney Channel.

"Christopher Robin is still out there in the woods, playing," she says.

Uh, no. You stupid corporate jerk. Timeless characters do not need "a breath of fresh air" BECAUSE THEY ARE TIMELESS! What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Look. I’m a huge Disney nerd. I practically grew up at Disneyland, and I’ve done two great movies for Disney that I’m very proud of. I know Disney is a big evil empire, but I still like my Disney stuff . . . but this is fucking ridiculous. This has nothing to do with "breathing new life" into anything; it’s entirely about squeezing a few more pennies out of a successful franchise, and exploiting the anniversary of a cherished work of literature.

I have an idea: if Disney is so serious about breathing fresh life into classic characters, why not let Mickey Mouse enter the Public Domain? Okay, how about Goofy? Donald Duck? Admit it: those characters are getting a little stale, and could really use a breath of fresh air that only derivative works can provide.

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70 thoughts on “oh bother.”

  1. I’m with you, Wil, this is just ridiculous! A.A. Milne is probably turning over in his grave. I’m all for equality of the sexes, but this is just stupid.

  2. I am in shock. What a stupid idea. This will not go over well at all…it’s completely laughable.
    The stories are not the same without ‘the boy and his bear’.
    Cripes.

  4. I couldn’t even follow the link to the article you provided because I knew it would make me too irate if I read it.
    I can only hope that they will hear enough negative fedback that maybe they won’t go through with it, the woozles.

  6. I’m betting Alan Milne is rolling in his grave right now… geebus. And the fact that Christopher Robin was his son? All I have to say Disney, is “brilliant.”

  9. Disney has had a little war going with the Milne estate for quite a while. I have a feeling this has less to do with “freshness” as it does with adding elements that they can copyright and squeeze more money out of the property without sharing with the Estate — because now it becomes “proprietary.”

  10. So they went off together. But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way,
    in that enchanted place on the top of the Forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing.

  12. Disney have a long history of creating a female counterpart. Mickey’s got his Minnie, Donald’s got his Daisy, Goofy’s got his… wait, what’s goofy again?

  17. Sadly this opens up the avenues for whole lines of slash fiction. Do you hear that sound? It’s the sound of pedophiles having their way with my childhood. Find a happy place!

  18. I saw this travesty and thought to myself, “that’s wrong. But why is it wrong?”
    Self answered: The 100-acre wood is the place where Christopher Robin’s imaginary toy-based friends come to life. A different child would have different toy-pal/imagined friends.
    The 100-Acre wood is exactly like Silent Hill!
    Disney fails to understand: If the girl needs pals in the 100-acre wood, she has to bloody invent her own!
    *sigh*

  19. Hopefully this will meet the same fate as the ‘reimagined’ bugs bunny characters.
    How about we reimagine the stories? Not the originals mind you, but the 10 years worth of crap they’ve called Winnie the Pooh on TV. I remember the ‘grand adventure’ that came out in ’96 or so. My wife was a huge Winnie the Pooh fan and we ran out and bought it.
    Before the show was over it was so depressing we wanted to commit suicide. They could have gone so much better directions with Christopher Robin going to school for the first time, but instead they dwelled on them being ‘alone’ and ‘forgotten’ and how each of them went off on their own before realizing he came home.
    Just sad

  20. WHAT?! No more Christopher Robin?! Grrrrrr . . . . I too am a huge Disney fan. I always have been. I especially loved Winnie the Pooh. Anyway, I am mad that Christopher Robin is, for lack of a better word, gone. Amber J earlier established that A.A. Milne’s son’s name is Christopher Robin. Among the many reasons why we don’t want Christopher to be replaced, that is probably the biggest one, imo. Plus, Christopher Robin is Pooh’s best friend. Geez.

  21. Disney desecrating its past again, filmed at 11 🙁
    I wish they would just leave good enough alone. I’m all for keeping kids interested in the story, but surely the difference between a having Christopher be a boy or a girl wouldn’t ensure more viewers, likely just the opposite. Bah humbug.

  24. “Christopher Robin is still out there in the woods, playing,” she says.
    It’s like when your parents tell you they took old Rover to live on a farm where he can play in fields all day long, but really he’s making his final visit to the vet.

  26. “A breath of fresh air…”
    **wretch**
    Looks like Disney wants a “Dora the Explorer” of their very own.
    No way are my twins (who will be in kindergarten when this show airs) going to watch this drivel.

  27. Yeah, this is complete and utter BS. I’m guessing the angle they’ll go for is that it’s Christopher Robin’s daughter or some such thing.
    A lot has changed in the world in the last 80 years. However, think of Sesame Street. It is also timeless, and it hasn’t done any of this gender-bending crap as far as I can tell. I mean, new characters have been introduced, but I don’t think they’ve turned Grover or Cookie Monster into ladies. They’ve added new characters instead, and incorporated modern concepts.
    Based on the screen they show, it looks like the child is going to be the center of attention rather than being the source of imagination, which was all Christopher Robin really was. I mean, if I remember the original correctly, he doesn’t even show up in his own imaginings until near the end, though my memory is slightly sketchy on that. I do, however, remember that his role largely remained as that of puppetmaster rather than active participant in the events that unfolded.
    I’ll tell you this though; if this turns out to be a “Dora the Explorer by Disney”, I’m going to laugh my ass off when it fails and Dora stays number one.

  28. I’m a fan of the blog and the new podcast. As well as your other creative works.
    But I am surprised that a liberal whimp like you seem to be would have a problem with the politcal correctness Disney is injecting into this story.

  29. Wow, GlockMann that’s the weakest and most pathetic attempt to troll I’ve ever seen in my life.
    You get an F-.

  30. Why would making anything from a boy to a girl be PC, or non-PC… Things are what they are people. Being a liberal doesn’t mean you want everything to reference women, but unfortunately, dumbasses like yourself think that in order to be PC, you need to say her/she, JUST IN CASE… Well, I have two sons. Prior to thier birth, my wife and I recieved many emails/mailings etc for new parents and whatnot. 95% of references to babies were using a female pronoun. Not both, just female. That is not equality, that was a kneejerk, ill informed, ham handed attempt at PC, much like your post Glock…
    For an interesting read, check out a book called The War Against Boys.

  32. This makes me sad. I was hoping that my kids (who have yet to be concieved) would be able to follow Pooh and Christopher Robin on their adventures like I did when I was little. *shaking head in disgust* When will they learn that messing with an old favorite is never going to be welcomed.
    PS. Todder: LMFAO!!!!!! :o)

  34. First the Narnia books get deliberately put all out of order, and now this.
    Clearly, nothing is sacred in the pursuit of the almighty buck. 😛

  35. What’s next, Calvina and Hobbes? or maybe they’ll make The Little Prince into a movie and cast Dakota Fanning.
    I guess if they can give the Care Bears botox and put Strawberry Shortcake n’ crew into miniskirts and fake birkenstocks…
    Oy.

  36. I had the thought “Who is wanting their little girl in the movies??” Has the part been casted? I’m just thinking this could be the next Brittany.
    I hope that isn’t the case but it was the first thing I thought of. Maybe enough people will tell them that they won’t go see it or buy it that they will change their minds.
    Now my next thought is – girls buy more stuff than boys. So it maybe getting more toys sold by changing to a girl.

  37. Isn’t it funny how “well written scripts” or “quality animation” haven’t been discussed for “bringing new life” into the franchise…
    Gah. Come on, Bob Iger. Turn away from the dark side… Don’t make us get you fired, too…

  38. If the Disney company keeps messing with Walt Disney’s original dream, Walt Disney himself will get so ticked off that he’s going to defrost himself and do some major ass kicking.
    Fresh air, indeed. If they want some fresh air, all they need to do is listen to NPR.

  39. It’s odd that I saw your post Wil, right after reading this story about the 9th Circuit’s ruling on the Winnie-the-Pooh merchandising rights case. It seems Disney will be likely facing a lawsuit for royalties next year.

    As Kathy Kirkman’s blog post puts it, “It is a bit ironic that Disney’s attempt to avoid a termination of transfers with the 1983 agreement led to today’s ruling where their attempt to assist Clare Milne in severing that agreement failed. Clearly Disney is opportunistically doing whatever it takes to preserve its financial interest in the Pooh franchise.“

  40. Actually, Christopher Robin (Milne) isn’t out in the forest, I’m sorry to say, unless by that they mean out UNDER the forest: Christopher Robin Milne was born on 21 August 1920 and he died on 20 April 1996.
    As for changing timeless characters. I think Mickey & Donald should come out of the closet. They’d be so much more comfortable here at Disney World during ‘Gay Days’ (every June)…

  41. There is a sort of deep irony here: The reason Christopher was called “Christopher Robin“, had such nice long hair, and wore that little smock-outfit is that Mrs. Milne desperately wanted a girl. She kept little Christopher in dresses much longer than was considered normal, even back then, when dresses were fairly common garb for babies and toddlers. She was only able to have one child, and she was devastated when she had a boy.
    Christopher Milne’s story was not a terribly happy one. . .

  42. You said it, Wil.
    And I was delighted by Mark J. Musante’s allusion to “Stand By Me” in the comments above. 🙂

  43. “I have an idea: if Disney is so serious about breathing fresh life into classic characters, why not let Mickey Mouse enter the Public Domain? Okay, how about Goofy? Donald Duck? Admit it: those characters are getting a little stale, and could really use a breath of fresh air that only derivative works can provide.”
    The most intelligent thing I’ve heard in a long fucking time. Way to be Wil!

  44. Being named “Christopher” myself, I can’t say I’m happy about the character change in the Pooh franchise. Christopher Robin was the first same-named fictional character I encountered at a young age. At least Disney is making the Narnia movies in the original book order.

  46. Sounds like a bunch of feminist threw a little bitch fit to me. God forbid we keep a boy character a boy. Heaven help us if we don’t let the Vagina’s have their say.
    Liberal wimp? Oooooo *hiss* That was…laughable. Honestly, I laughed.
    Pooh Bear, I know you’re out there! It’s me and it’s you, and silly ol’ Winnie The Pooh!! (yeah baby, I was a pooh girl back in the day)

  47. Well, all I have to say is, judging by the *stellar* product Disney has been putting out lately (Chicken Little, Home on the Range, etc.) Disney Animation is skating on thin ice and hoping that they can “jazz up” one of their perennial favorites and squeeze more money out of the wallets of parents whose children will see this travesty and, not knowing any better because, hey, they’re 4 years old, will yell and scream “Daddy! Buy me Pooh Bear! I want it, I want it, I want it!”
    You get the idea.
    In the immortal words of Yosemite Sam, “Rattsa-frattsa-durn-it-all-ta-tarnation!”
    Hasta,
    Rob Chambers
    Exile in Dallas

  49. that’s just stupid! it makes no sense! arrrrrgh.. why does disney do things like this?? i heart disney and all, but pixar had the right idea… it shouldn’t be all about the money! 🙁

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