alive in the weeds

Nolan just called me from school to tell me that he got an 88 on a history test that he was really nervous about even passing.

He was walking down the hallway from one class to the next, and I could hear the sound of his peers swarming around him, in that dull almost-roar that fills high schools between classes before the campus drops back into near silence for 48 minutes.

I told him how proud of him I was, and how happy I was that he took the time to call me and tell me about it.

"I called mom, too," he said, "but now I have to go into class so I gotta go."

"Okay," I said. "I’m really proud of you, Nolan. Have a great weekend at your dad’s. I love you."

"I love you too, Wil." He said. "Bye."

I love it that my 14 year-old told cared enough to call me and share good news about his grades, and told me that he loves me, even though he was surrounded by his peers.

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55 thoughts on “alive in the weeds”

  3. My 7yr old still comes up and gives me big hugs after school, even though all of his classmates tease him about it. Nothing like a good snuggle or shared news to make you feel like “Parent of the Year”.

  6. That’s just about as rad as can be. And it’s just as cool that you recognize how lucky you are. Hope my kids do that kind of stuff when they are that age, rock on with your bad self, Wil!

  9. The bond you have with your stepsons is a fascinating one.
    My wife works as a counselor in Pasadena, and deals with some wonderful children who’s biological parents could give a sh*t less about their own kids, basically leaving it up to social workers and the “system” to raise their kids for them.
    Many of the kids my wife sees have live-in ‘father figures’, who also treat them as expendable burdens.
    My wife often sees the amazing qualities these great kids possess, something their own parents will probably never see themselves! What an incredible shame.
    Kudos to you for seeing and appreciating these qualities in your kids.

  10. Aww… You’ve reminded me how much parents get out of small things like that. =) Makes me want to call my parents more when I’m at school, except that my mom is semi-prohibited from answering her phone, and my dad works around machinery that would make it almost impossible to hear/feel the phone.
    Oh, well. I’ll definitely keep that in mind, though – beautiful exchange between you and your kid, Wil. Keep up the great livin’.

  11. I am going to go totally off topic. I really need some good ideas for April Fools day tomorrow. Nothing painful just good clean antagonize your boyfriend in a loving way fun. Any ideas?!?

  12. Well if the “Prove to the world” voice ever pops it’s head out, grab one of your kids. Hold them high in the air and say “Here you go!”.

  14. Wow, that’s so sweet. I would expect that a 14 year old would be in the rebelious age group that he’d disown all ties with the elder. You’ve got some wicked bond going there.

  15. Fortunate are you to have a stepson who is willing to talk grades with you at fourteen. If Nolan ever becomes difficult, just remember this day.

  16. See Wil-
    This is just another sign of the incredible person you are and the amazing influence you have had on your kids. If only every child could be so lucky and have an amazing father such as you. oh yeah, tell Nolan he still rules! 🙂

  17. I have a 13 year old son that still kisses me and tells me he loves me in front of his friends. It’s usually as I am dropping him off for Saturday detention, but it’s still cool.
    Cheri

  20. That is way awesome. Now can’t all kids be like that. Even though I’m in college I still do that to my parents. I figure that they are helping to pay for it so they might as well know about my grades. I think that it is great that you have such a good relationship with your step kids.

  21. Wil,
    That is truly special.
    I have been a lurker on your site, but now I’ve registered.
    I really enjoy reading what you have to say.
    Congrats,
    Ryan

  25. Yet again the relationship you’ve cultivated with “your” boys amazes me. You’re a role model for all Steps out there 🙂

  26. I really feel that Wil, I really do. You have a wonderful family… they are so lucky to have you. I know this sounds like a frickin’ Hallmark card but it’s true. This IS where you are meant to be.

  27. By the way, (and I’m not sure anyone’s even noticed my absence) but sorry I’ve been gone for so long… work is just… argh…

  28. Wil, I think the relationship you’ve cultivated with Ryan and Nolan is SUPER HAWESOME. My mom’s been married to my stepfather since I was about 11 (let’s see, that’s — WOW — 18 years!), and it wasn’t until maybe two years ago that I finally felt comfortable enough to give my stepfather a hug and say “I love you” to him. I always felt like it was some sort of betrayal to my dad, I guess, to behave in a “daughterly” way with my stepfather. You, Anne, and your boys are very lucky.
    Katharine 🙂

  29. Wil,
    Your kids are so lucky to have you in their lives, as are you to have them in yours. It gives me faith to see a functional step family unit. Congrats will, and give props to Nolan for a job well done.

  30. I read this post earlier today and I felt happy. Step-parents can have great relationships with kids, and truly enjoy them. Enough to know that they are a part of the group of loved ones that can be a part of the group of people that can be their soft place to fall when times are tough.

  31. i read the first paragraph last and thought you were a teen parent. i was a little disappointed to find you were not, as silly as that sounds. in any case it’s really nice that you have such a great relationship with your son. that’s great!

  32. It took me reading through this twice before I realized that your son must have a cell phone. I’m not too old yet…only just 23…but still, I can’t wrap my mind around the idea of 14-year-olds carrying cell phones to school!
    In any case, my two kids are two years and two weeks (I can only say that sentence today!) and I can only pray that when they’re Nolan’s age, they’ll be that cool. After all, REAL coolness is doing your thing in spite of what anyone else thinks. I imagine I’m preaching to the choir on that one, though.
    Still…how awesome that he, you know, likes you that much. And how awesome that you’re that involved. When I was 14, my parents weren’t exactly aware of stuff like history tests.

  33. I just want to say this. Everytime you write about your family, it makes me like you so much more. I have a horrible relationship with my father. I remember hating him in highschool because he never made the effort to get to know me. He demanded so much, straight A’s (in order to go to BC like he did), extracurriculars out of my ass, etc. He really didn’t deserve to set standards for me. I hated him because he wasn’t ever there. Whenever I heard his footsteps, I would go into my bedroom and close the door. I still don’t really know him. I’ll always be angry that he wasn’t involved in my life. You spend so much “quality” time with your kids, I’m almost jealous. They’re really lucky to have a parent like you. I believe the struggles you go through to bond with them will pay off, and already are. The fact that Nolan called you to tell you about that test…wow. I never did that as a kid because I was used to patting myself on the back. That call shows that he values you, and wants to celebrate victories with you. Anyway, this was extremely long and poorly written and blah blah blah, but I think your family is awesome.

  34. I have a foster son who is 17. There is no better feeling than to know I have his trust. I think even more important to me than his sharing successes with me, is when he shares his mistakes. I know our relationship is special because he is not afraid to tell me what he has done wrong. We talk about it, we both learn something and we go on. Consequences, not punishments.
    Being a good parent is not easy. Keep up the GREAT work!

  37. One of the best things about teenaged kids is their seemingly endless capacity to do things that pleasantly surprise the ‘rents. I want to say “you’re truly lucky to have a son that cares so much..” but kids do learn what they live.
    Congrats on totally pwning that test, Nolan!

  39. Hi Will! This is my first time commenting and I would have preferred to email you but I know you will see this. (Feel free to delete it after reading it.) I wanted to tell you how much respect I have for you for so many things (your love for your stepsons for example) and I thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your life in your books and weblog. Your honesty and down to earth nature is wonderfully refreshing in todays world. My name is Melody and I am a recording artist and writer origionally from New York and now also residing in the midwest, where I live a quieter life with my own family. I am presently working on my own memoirs and would love to know your thoughts and suggestions should you find the time and interest in reading any of it. I have posted the summary, outline, prologue and several excerpts online separate from my regular website and would be happy to share the link.
    I thank you for reading this obscenely long “comment” and wish you continued success in all of your creative endeavors.
    From one to another, GEEKS OF THE WORLD UNITE! Lol.
    You are badass in my book. 🙂
    Sincerely,
    Melody
    [email protected]

  40. Wil,
    That is a great entry. I am not lucky enough to have kids, at this time. If I ever do, our communication better be as good as yours.
    FG

  45. Hi Wil! Wow do
    I love your blog. I think I’m addicted. Is there a Wil Wheaten anonymous support group?
    I am very good friends with the pin up artist Jay Trembly and I wondered whether Suicide Girls would be interested in featuring his work on the site?
    http://www.artoftrembly.com
    I hope you’re having a great weekend!
    Melody
    [email protected]

  46. Aw…that’s so cool!
    (I was gonna write ‘sweet’, but then I realized how totally uncool that would be).
    I get warm fuzzy feelings every time I hear a parent praising their kid. Thanks!

  47. Great job, Nolan. Not just for getting a good grade on a test that you were worried about passing, but also for taking the time to call your Mom and Wil to share the good news with them.
    Great job, Wil and Anne. Not just for doing such a great job in raising the kids to be proud of their accomplishments but for also doing your part in encouraging the kids to be proud of their accomplishments!
    You guys are hawesome parents!

  48. It may be uncool, but I don’t care…. I am going to use the “sweet” word. In fact, that post was so sweet I got a cavity reading it.
    Seriously, how wonderful it is to experience Nolan’s positive emotional connection after all your efforts as a parent. It’s days like that you feel it’s worth all the blood, sweat and tears.

  49. “In fact, that post was so sweet I got a cavity reading it.”
    Lol. I agree Danyiel. I have a ten year old son and we have a very tight relationship and I am so thankful because I know of too many parents and kids who are at odds. Kids can lose their way in life so easily, esp as teens and it’s essential to stay involved with them so they don’t turn to other things and people for attention or a sense of belonging. I keep trying to instill in my son that no matter how old he gets or what happens in his life that I will always love him and be there for him. Nolan and Ryan are so fortunate to have a pair of parents who care so much about them. Nolan sounds like a great kid and I also congratulate him on passing the test.

  50. Holy Sh**, are you trying to make everyone cry? (just teasing) 😉
    Actually, I loved that whole entry dude. I’m a new mom and can always enjoy success stories of parents. Gives me hope when little baby Rita screeches at 4 am just to be held. lol (she’s addicted to hugs. It’s amusing!) 😉
    I also want to be surrogate mother since so many people out there would make great parents but can’t. It would be a great honor for me to give them that chance.
    And there is a possibility that I may want to foster or adopt, if we decide not to have any other babies of our own. Because, on the flip side, so many kids out there need (and want) someone to love them. And it breaks my heart to think that ANY child out there is not given the love that you share with Nolan. Every kid deserves that.
    But I digress. *Steps off the soap box*
    hahaha

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