"We’ve all had our ups and downs
It’s been mostly down around here
Now this whole damn mess is becoming quite clear"
-Uncle Tupelo, Life Worth Living
Thank you for all your feedback on the podcast and the blog. Many more people responded than I expected, and virtually all of you wondered if I actually read what you wrote. I don’t have time to respond to each e-mail directly, which feels shitty and disrespectful to me (you took the time, so why can’t I?) but I think I can put here, for everyone, what I’d put into lots of different e-mails. I took it all to heart, and I am deeply grateful to everyone who saw my signal flare, and sent back one of their own.
So. Two things I suspected were confirmed. The first: I can’t please everyone, so I’m just going to please myself. That sounds dirty. Let me try a different way: For every person who said they didn’t like the "sacchrine stories about my family" someone said they loved the "heartwarming stories about family life." For every person who said "I wish you’d write more about politics" someone said, "I’m glad you don’t write about politics very much." Everyone liked the narrative-style poker stories, and nobody likes the dry, technical poker posts. I agree. That’s why I moved most of my poker content to CardSquad. I haven’t had many stories to tell, but when I have a story that’s more like Odessa than a dry retelling of the flop, turn and river, I’ll publish it again.
Lots of you came here for different reasons: Star Trek, movies, gaming, technology, politics, family stories. I noticed that most writers wanted to hear more of whatever brought them here in the first place and less of everything else. I’ve said before that attempting to please everybody results in pleasing nobody, so I’ll just have to write about all of those things when they strike me, and hopefully when I’m interested I’ll be interesting and worth both of our time.
Thing the second: the general theme, from people who I know in real life to people who have read me for years, to people who have just been reading for a few months: my blog, once interesting, has become average and lacks passion.
My blog, which is a reflection of my life, has become average because I’ve allowed it to happen. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but at least I’m aware of it, and I can begin the long and painful process of ripping myself out of my average rut, and moving to where I want to be.
I’ve been reading a lot of Seth Godin’s blog, and his book The Purple Cow. In Purple Cow, Seth says that the first few cows you see are really interesting, but they eventually blur together and you forget about them. Then you see a purple cow, and it’s extraordinary, and you take notice, and you can’t believe you were ever impressed by a regular old cow. He uses it as a metaphor for marketers, but it applies to anyone who produces some sort of media or entertainment; it certainly applies to me.
Years ago, my Purple Cow was obvious: I was one of the first well-known actors to openly write about the experience. And there was that whole Wesley Crusher thing. Nobody else was doing what I did, so it was extraordinary. Over the years, I’ve fallen onto the other side of the bell curve, and now I find myself squarely in "average" land.
What do I do to paint my cow again? I’m not sure. Obviously, getting work as an actor again would be nice, and fire up my passions; working on some real fiction would also do that.
The excerpt I published yesterday is part of a very short story (it’s only about 2000 words) but it’s a start. I’m doing some work on it (changing from first to third person, for one) and I’m looking forward to publishing it next week. Maybe that will kick off something new for me that makes it worth your while to drop by my blog.
In many ways, I feel like I’ve run really hard, and really fast, and ended up right back where I started.
I know I’m a good actor, and I know that I can connect with an audience and do extraordinary work. That’s not enough to close the gap between me sitting in an audition, and me getting hired. So I’m right back where I was five years ago.
Anne’s ex isn’t supporting his kids, putting the burden on me and Anne, and getting away with it. I’m right back where I was five years ago.
I’m struggling, creatively unfulfilled, filled with self-doubt and more than a little bit of self lothing. I’m right back where I was five years ago.
And you know what? I’m really sad that I’ve failed as an actor. I’m
really sad that, even though I tried so hard my whole life to develop
this skill, and even though I know I’m extremely good at it, I have
failed to have any lasting success with it. It’s not my fault, I don’t
think, — well, other than the reasons I detail in Just A Geek
(which makes a lovely gift) — that the entertainment industry lost
interest in me and what I bring to the party, but when I’m not acting in some capacity, I feel like a big part of my soul is dead. Writing helps, a little bit, but it’s like methadone to acting’s heroin. I’d love to find a play to do around town, or do another sketch comedy show, or do some improv, but the unavoidable, brutal truth is that I can’t afford to. I don’t have the time to devote to it, but I have to somehow find it, and walk a dangerous, delicate, precarious and fine line between providing for my family, spending time with (and enjoying) my family, and hitting the acting needle as frequently and as hard as I can without becoming a gutter burnout.
It’s tough to write anything from the inside of my heart lately, because I feel like I’m just a big stupid crybaby. In my brains, I know that things could be a lot, lot worse (I know that, really I do, and because I know that I’m reluctant to even publish any of these thoughts) but in my heart and soul, I feel defeated.
Just completely defeated. And I don’t have enough time. And. And. And.
I know that I have the tools and the power to turn this feeling of defeat into something better, and I know that I’m indulging a whole lot of self-pity . . . but at least I’ll admit it, and own that feeling.
This is part of the journey, I guess. Maybe being where I was five years ago isn’t so bad. Five years ago, I had a lot of really great stuff to write about, and a very Purple Cow to share.
Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Listen, I used the word “average” in my response, and I feel bad about it now. One thing that I notice is that you always have this self deprecation thing going. Sometimes, however, that self deprecation becomes actual self loathing. I hate the fact that I used word like “average” because I feel that it has fed your damaged ego.
A lot of times when an artist says something he did sucks, then the audience begins to think it sucks. When the artist says something is cool, the audience thinks it’s cool. You will get you voice back when you begin to like the sound of your own voice, again.
Wil,
I come to your weblog almost every day to see if something new has been posted. Yours is the only blog I do this with. I come because I respect your work as a writer, not because you’re writing about something that I think I’ll be interested in. Other than your technical posts (which I usually can’t follow — my fault, not yours), I always make sure to read the post. Whether it’s an entry on poker (come find me on PokerStars sometime), work, family or life, I almost always come away learning something, either about you or, surprise, surprise, myself. Keep doing what you do, and keep working at all your crafts. I get discouraged occasionally in my job as a sportswriter (OK, maybe more than occasionally), but then someone comes along and tells me how much they appreciated or enjoyed something I wrote. Hopefully I and many of the other commenters have helped you in that respect, because I do appreciate what you write — all of it. Take care.
FatCat3
Wil only has ONE fan he has to entertain before anyone else, and that’s Wil.
Although your place in life seems similar to 5 yrs ago, since you’ve already been there, your choices will be more wise.
The mother in me makes me sad to read an entry like this one. On one hand my heart sinks, but the other hand wants to smack you upside the head and say “You are not a failure!” as an actor or anything else. I know what you’re saying–things haven’t panned out the way you’d imagined or hoped. Yet. Maybe they never will. You are an intelligent, self-aware man of many talents–that’s blessing, but also a curse because it’s a powerful combination that means in some ways you’ll never be fully happy with yourself–you’re too smart to be content! So you try to get over these sad times with the love of those who mean the most and to hell with everyone else. Blog away–can’t we read the ones we like and skip the ones we don’t? That’s what I do, without always commenting here on which is which. My prescription: go see the concert film “Neil Young: A Heart of Gold”. You will be reminded that life is short and the sweet things it holds–family, friends, music/art/whatever–make the brief journey rich with possibility and yes, even some satisfaction here and there. As someone else commented here–your writing makes a difference in people’s lives–whether it’s the hilarious stuff, the poignant family moments, or that weird poker stuff I can’t understand and don’t read (ha! couldn’t resist…). The acting may ebb and flow but I think it will always be lapping at your shore. So be it, when a good wave rolls in, ride it for all it’s worth, but don’t worry about when the next one’s coming in. One always will. Thanks for all the good stuff you put out there, Wil. You’re a mensch and a half.
Erm…Wow! I value your truthfulness a lot and although I believe myself to be honest, it is on a very different level. I tend to hide behind my true feelings.
Although I have never met you, I feel that I know you in some ways and it is ashame that you are feeling this way at the moment. Such a feeling that ebbs away at you slowly leaving you feel gutted. I felt that way as a young actor as my opportunities in acting as a young teenage girl in Scotland is rather poor. I’ve been let down many times by others when it comes to acting and sometimes it is not their fault. I was unable to take drama in my fifth year at highschool and was recommended higher by my director outside school. Although, my school doesn’t have a drama department therefore I wouldn’t be able to do it and was extremely upset. I become anti-social and distance myself away from others when I’m not doing acting and people don’t understand how much it hurts me. Acting is like oxygen for me and for you I think it is too. You are and know you are a very good actor Wil, so stick to what you do best and something good will happen.
You have so many supporters out there and a lot of talent. We haven’t forgotten about you.
Wow, Wil. This is the first real open and honest post of what’s going on in your head I’ve read on your blog since I can remember. I bet that was good to “say out loud!”
CS Lewis wrote in his book “The Problem of Pain” that sometimes life is a downer, and pain, suffering and valleys disrupt the calming peace we would all like to have every day. Through his own losses in life, he came to the conclusion that life — the joy in life — was so much better compared to the valleys, that the pain was worth it. Struggles are worth it, because the highs feel so much bigger.
Keep a firm grip on the loves in your life, and keep focused on Anne and the boys. I guarantee that your hard work instilling a good life in them will pay off, you will see fruit from it, and your time to blossom will come again. After all, the lean times makes those occasions where you get a break (like CSI), a wonderful drink of water to help you through the drought.
I’ll just add my two cents:
1.) Remember the Balance, Wil.
2.) You said you felt this way five years ago. You made it through once and you can do it again. : )
Wil,
Greetings from good ol’ England!
I read your blog all the time (but this is the first time I’ve really decided to post a comment!) , and have even read “Just A Geek” based on what I read in your blog. I even make a point of listening to your excellent podcasts.
I agree with the people who say THIS IS YOUR BLOG.
Wil,
I have been reading for awhile now, but have never commented. First, let me say I LOVE both books. They are both wonderful and entertaining. That,too, is why I keep reading your blog and listening to the podcast. They are both very entertaining and full of heart. I don’t come here JUST to find out about Star Trek or your family or your political views. I enjoy reading about ALL of it. It is what makes you you. If people don’t like it, then that is there problem.
You ARE a WONDERFUL actor, and don’t let anyone tell you any different. I have followed your career for years and have really enjoyed everything you have been in. The right thing will come along.
The following is some advice a friend (who is a struggling actor) received. When I read your entry, I thought of this:
Actors are some of the most driven, courageous people on the face of the earth. They deal with more day-to-day rejection in one year than most people do in a lifetime. Every day, actors face the financial challenge of living a freelance lifestyle, the disrespect of people who think they should get “real” jobs, and their own fear that they’ll never work again. Everyday they have to ignore the possibility that the vision to which they have dedicated their lives is a pipe dream. With every passing year, many of them watch as the other people their age achieve the predicatable milestones of normal life…the car, the family, the house, the nest egg. But they stay true to their dream, in spite of sacrifices. Why? Because actors are willing to give their entire lives to a moment– to that line, that laugh, that gesture, or that interpretation that will stir the audience’s soul. Actors are beings who have tasted life’s nectar in that crystal moment when they poured out their creative spirit and touched another’s heart. In that instant, they were as close to magic, God, and their own perfection as anyone could ever be. And in their own hearts, they know that to dedicate onself to that moment is worth a thousand lifetimes. — Words of a friend–
I am not saying anything that others have not already pointed out. I just want to reinforce it!
Nothing cheers me up like good music.
http://www.nicepeter.com
You can’t listen to this band and be depressed. it’s impossible.
SuperMan’s Song
“Superman’s Song”
Tarzan wasn’t a ladies’ man
He’d just come along and scoop ’em up under his arm
Like that, quick as a cat in the jungle
But Clark Kent, now there was a real gent
He would not be caught sittin’ around in no
Junglescape, dumb as an ape doing nothing
[Chorus:]
Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him
Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he could have smashed through any bank
In the United States, he had the strength, but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead
Their planet crumbled but Superman, he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep going
Tarzan was king of the jungle and Lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together four words: “I Tarzan, You Jane.”
Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes
I’ll bet that he was tempted to just quit and turn his back
On man, join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phonebooths till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home
Gotta love the Crash Test Dummies. Good call.
Here’s what I find interesting. I just turned 46, but when I was your age ( I know it sounds cliche’) I was having the same self-doubt and unfulfilled feelings. Being a professional musician, I ran into the same walls you are running into right now. Not feeling you are doing work up to your skill level, not being able to “break” into the next level and the whole time trying to figure out how to make financial ends meet. Just letting you know you are not alone in that struggle.
I know this sounds silly, but in many ways I see you as a younger version of me, and a slightly older version of my son who will turn 27 in April. He lives in Bay Area of CA and is doing very well indeed. Such a cool, hip, well-rounded, artistic man he has turned out to be. He is a huge influence in my life.
I finally pulled the plug on the Bay Area in CA and bought a house in Nashville, and moved there in 1999 at the age of 39. Well, to make the rest of that story short, it injected me with a whole new drive for life and art. Not that I’m suggesting you move, just that my move put me in a more intense music scene. You already seem to be in the right place for what you do.
All this brings me back to the point I never really made. Why do I love your Blog? Because it gives me a window into your world which contains things I can relate to, because it shines light on things I have not heard of or thought of yet, because it makes me feel “not alone” in some of my struggles. And because it makes me examine my life and appreciate the good things, and want to improve in other areas of my life.
I hope this doesn’t make me sound like I’m a weird psycho fan, nothing of the sort. A fan for sure, but I just wanted to let you know you have hit several of my nerves in a good way. Keep doing whatever it is that makes you want to get every day.
Thanks for what you have done so far, and for what you have in store for us in the future.
Dave
Have you gone back and listened to any of your older podcasts? Have you noticed that you sound the happiest just after a performance? The exuberance in your voice after you’ve nailed an audition is inspiring – it literally made me get up out of my seat and work on my own creative projects. You keep saying acting is not as important to you as it once was, that it’s a side thing. Since acting hasn’t become what you wanted it to, it seems like you are struggling to replace it with writing. You may be feeling down right now because writing is not fulfilling that creative void well enough for you. That doesn’t make you a cry-baby – that just means you realize that you miss something very dear to you.
And don’t get me wrong, you are a terrific writer and I love reading your stuff – I just don’t think it’s doing enough for you. Sit down with Anne, talk about what you are missing in your life, and see if you can find a way to make acting work. You obviously miss it.
Maybe you can relate to musicians a little.
Obvioulsy a ton of musicians never make it big, but that doesnt stop them from performing, or now, recording since the technology has improved and dropped in price.
You should take some satisfcation in that you can be on Network and Cable TV and play at Poker Torunaments and put out books.
I know a musician friend that gets to do a lot of cool things (like play at House of Blues) but never gets bothered walking down the street.
To have anonymity and be able to do all those things is the best of both worlds.
this is my favorite post yet.
sounds like you need a few beers and some ‘rock, paper, scissors?’
you’re magical…and not just in a nerd way.
Amen, Dave (ThemePark)
you know for a guy who has 15 readers they sure comment a lot!
Interestingly enough, these people really like you and want to read what you write. I do too. Just keep writing and moving forward and your audience will find you… actually it looks like they already have…
hang in there Wil. I can see the sun coming up for you, and it’s going to be a great day.
Let me just tell you that it is SOOOOOO refreshing to know that you are regular people and are experiencing the same self doubt etc. like the rest of us. No lofty dreams of your own gradeur (sp).
Let me just say that I would never have even kept reading, or even responded to this blog, had it not been very interesting, funny and many, many more things that I liked to read. I can go to political blogs anytime I want. I can go to mommy / parenting sites any time I choose, but you are something very different from them. Also as a person in your line of work I find you to be so refreshing and honest and REAL!!! I also have much of the same musical taste as you and I can appreciate that.
I know that as we go through the times of our lives there is much ebb and flow, especially with careers, and you just happen to be in a career field that is very, very up and down and follows the way of the wind. You sound like a smart guy and you will find your next niche I am sure.
But what you are doing now is what you seem to be meant to do; dad work, sounds like you are doing a OUTSTANDING job there, charity work and raising money, that is a necessity in life, you care about others. The list could go on, my point being you are a wonderful human being right now and you are defined by so much more than what one job you might do.
Keep up the good work and carry on!!!
Kathy L.
What is purple? Money? Fame? Acclaim? Excellence as an actor? In a business that does not necessarily reward excellence with any of those other things, much less with a happy life, possibly you already are purple.
More importantly, purple to whom? To yourself, of course, but who else? Answer this one honestly and other things might fall into place.
Ok, so I had a VERY long comment which I will try to shorten.
You are in a huge comfort zone. Great wife, kids, family, friends. Actual FANS, and this for a guy who was universally hated for a guy he played in space. You do comedy, you write, you’re published, you have a body of work to be proud of. Heck, you’ve even made a name for yourself in the poker world. You need to step outside your bubble.
You write here and get supportive comment after supportive comment. That’s great, but it can become a crutch.
You need a kick in the ass. You need to take some more risks. You play poker, you should know that with greater risk can come greater reward. If you play like you have aces, you can convince others that you do. If you want to act, then ACT. Push HARD for indie roles that won’t pay the bills. Do a one-man show with new material. Do it all because you love it, not because you want people’s approval.
And while you’re at. GET WWDN BACK UP. IX was supposed to be temporary, and it’s been your main blog for months. I know you’re working on it… but it’s taken far too long. I think it’s been underestimated how imporant that URL really is.
And tell the voices of doubt and fear to shut it.
This place is a pressure valve. We see a lot of your pride, joy, and sadness come through here. I personally miss seeing the anger too. You just don’t sound as driven these days… you sound content, but not fulfilled… where has the fire gone?
But I probably know nothing. I can only go from what I see in your posts. If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong, and you can ignore everything I’ve said.
One last thing, for some reason, I thought of Matt Dillon and Patrick Dempsey reading this post. Two actors who were considered washed up. Doing either guest spots, or bad, bad movies. Both have found their way back to the top. Heck, throw Sean Astin in that group too. All it takes, Wil, is that one role, that one bit of exposure. If you don’t take the risks, you may never find it.
Okay, so this wasn’t so short after all 🙂
This is my first time posting although I have been reading your blog since last May. I just want to let you know that you are one of the reasons that I started my own blog and doing that has freed me as a person in a lot of ways. I have been a fan of yours since Stand By Me…god how clichéd does that sound? Anyway I was just listening to RFB eppy 7 and I understand exactly how you are feeling. I myself am a creative person, a writer…or trying to be. I also understand the trappings of having a blog. It isn’t always easy that’s for sure. I too had to stop and say, yes I am writing for the audience, but you know what, I am writing for me too. And hey I feel like a cry baby all the time! But I write what I feel and that’s all I can do. Look I feel like one small person commenting on your blog but I just wanted to finally say, you know, I find you interesting. I love the voice you write in and I am now a fan of RFB you have a great radio voice btw. So look you inspired me to come out of hiding and say my piece. Just hang in there; you are not alone in your feelings.
Life is not about how people see you but how you see yourself.
We all get moments of wondering if we are doing the best we can and if there isnt more we could be doing.
All you can do is strive to be a little better each day and everything will fall into place.
The real world is reflected in the eyes of the one we love. You have Anne, that’s all you need. There is your heart, your happiness. She’s your purple cow. (don’t tell her I said that — woman don’t like to be called cows)
This is my first ever comment to your blog.
I’ve been reading your blog for the last few years, virtually everyday.
Your blog is always great, no matter what you post.
As a fan its good to hear about anything that you are up to, stories, podcasts, fiction etc.
Please keep up your blog, its great
Paul
I guess I’m weird, but I always find your posts “interesting” (heh – there’s that word again). I just have a rhetorical question for you:
1. Why are you doing this? (The blog.)
Asking for feedback as a “reality check” is one thing, but hoping for validation from other people or reinforcement of feelings you already have is probably not the best idea.
We all see the world through our own filters of what we do and don’t want to see, and whatever validation (or invalidation) you’re looking for you will find in that “feedback”. That doesn’t necessarily mean that it is accurate or appropriate or what you really need to hear.
If your intention for the blog is to be yourself and tell the truth as you see it, no one out here is qualified to tell you what to do with it, or for that matter give you personal advice. Even though your style makes it easy for us all to believe that we know you really well, it’s not really true.
On the other hand, if your intention for the blog is simply entertainment for the masses and reality isn’t a criteria, then by all means “give the people what they want”. Be warned, though; that brings with it the burden of “trying to please everybody”…
SilverWolf
Wil, As wonderful as this blog is and a true testament to your staying power!!! (keep it clean guys!) perhaps now is the time to take this all one step further or higher. You really became the first celebrity to do teh blogging thing…so what’s next…where can you take this whole concept to a new level and start a new craze/fad/the next way of doing stuff???
Just an idea but as everyone else says…if we didn’t love it we wouldn’t come back. Sometimes the stark truth of real life reminds us how human and fallable we are…and your candid expression of how you feel reminds us that you too are human and we all go through the same poo together.
Good luck finding the next level!
Dear Wil:
I read your blog almost every day. I love the stories about your family. If you wrote a book about nothing but stories about your family, I would buy it and read it. I will also say yes I am a Star Trek fan, I am a Stand By Me Fan, I am a Toy Soldiers fan. I am a CSI fan and was pretty gleeful when I recognized you under all that homeless make up. I love the way you write and the way you share your interests with the world. I hope in some small way after you’ve read all the fan pep talk comments before mine (and mine) you won’t feel the future is quite so bleak. And it also may have something to do with being 33. I am 33 and my blog often echoes the sentiment of your blog today. So break a leg. I know I’ll see you in many more projects. And one of these days I’ll maybe even learn how to play poker so I’ll know what all the fuss is about. –Beth O. Chicago, IL
Congrats on sending the “provider” on a well needed vacation and taking the artist out of mothballs! Great re-opening act! It was long overdue, now enjoy the wave of energy!
Wil,
I completely understand the feeling. A 50+ mile commute, a baby, and only 24 hors in the day leave me feeling like I can’t live up to even my own expectations at work, let alone the unrealistic expectations of others. I am stuck knowing that I need to change the situation in order to be better at work, and be a better husband and father, but the real estate market in California kinda has me stuck where I am, unless I leave the state. It seems like things can’t get better because I need more money to move closer to work, but my reviews will be average at best because the strain is starting to show through in my work, and it is increasingly difficult to provide just a middle-class lifestyle for my family.
On the other hand, I have been enjoying your blog, and never expect more than your life allows you to contribute. I disagree with you on a lot of political issues (my views am probably more in line with your parents’, but more conservative) but I welcome your thoughts on any issue you fell comfortable addressing. If a post doesn’t interest me, I can usually bet the next one will. Try and cheer up (I know, I hate hearing it too) because it can seriously become a vicious cycle in which all other of aspects of your life become degraded. That is not to say that you should ignore the things that drive you, but all things in moderation.
-Old Wolf
Wil,
I don’t want to just say what everyone else is saying, even though I agree with almost every one of them.
I love you as an actor and I love you as a writer. I love you as a father and I love you as a geek. I honestly think you are awesome no matter what you are posting in your blog, because just seeing that you updated makes my day a little brighter.
Keep doing what you are doing, because you are good at it. Chin up Wil, you are too cool to be going emo on me. 😛
Geez, all you need to do for validation is to read these comments! And check out how many (like me) are first time commentors.
All I’d say has already been said – so I’ll go back to my aggregator.
Wil, I don’t read your blog because you were famous. Or because you have exciting interesting adventures. Or because you are edgy and hip. I read you *because* of your so-called averageness. I read you because I find in your thoughs a kindred spirit, someone who has some of the same hopes, fears and concerns that I have — but who can put them in words far better than I ever could.
What you call “uninteresting” I call honest. I have stopped reading most blogs, because so many of them try to be hip, cool, and edgy. BORING.
Don’t try to be a Purple Cow. The corollary to Seth’s idea is that when everyone is trying to be purple, the “average cow” suddenly becomes interesting. If you happen to be purple, then great, express that purpleness. But if you are a black-and-white cow, trying to be purple, it won’t work. Be true to yourself.
and one more thing…
Never give up, never surrender.
Hey Will,
Don’t feel down about “being where you were 5 years ago”. These days I feel like I’m back where I was 16 years ago, which has it’s good and bad side. You have (what sounds like) a wonderful family and you are at least aware of what you feel is missing from your life (the art-part). You have a great base to work on that from though.
I come here for everything that you mentioned (except the dry technical card stuff). I just enjoy reading your writing, whether it’s about your work, your family, or just random stuff.
You know, I hate to say it, but I would love to see you on the Surreal Life – I know, I know, washed up celebraties – but I think that the thing about that show is that it really gives visibility to the people that are decent, funny, etc. I mean, who knew that the Calvin Klein underwear model was a really nice, decent, caring guy. I think you would come off wonderfully – even better if you could blog the whole experience…
Oh, also wanted to say that your blog has been a major inspiration for my own.
Same boat as us all. Job going nowhere, family that loves you, drama hanging at the edges.
A friend talking me down from the grey funk today said sometimes you just have to make some popcorn, grab someone to snuggle, and watch a movie. You can’t worry about everything all the time.
Keep putting it out there, eventually you’ll catch a break. Just don’t eat all the popcorn. 🙂
Oh, couple year lurker; first time caller. I came for the star, stayed for the Mensch.
Nothing mediocre here…
You got 80-odd comments all being supportive. And zero being shitty. Interesting, no?
I don’t read your blog every day. Sometimes, a few weeks go by. I always come back, though. Yeah, so sometimes a post doesn’t appeal to me. Big deal. So what? Your blog, not mine. Frankly, I don’t need you to grab my interest every single damn time.
Also, as a vegan, I don’t want a purple cow. I want a nice, happy, healthy, naturally coloured cow running and grazing free. Moo.
Here’s another comment from someone who’s been reading for a while but only recently commenting. I don’t have anything amazingly insightful that hasn’t already been said, but I hope a few random thoughts will be encouraging nonetheless. I must say I haven’t been able to listen to this week’s RFB episodes yet since my main computer is lacking a sound card and I have no iPod…so I hope I’m not missing too much context besides what I’ve picked up from the blog. Anyway, I think this is a good self-analytical entry. Although you say you’re indulging in self-pity, it doesn’t feel like you’re throwing a pity party. Sometimes life just is crappy and hard, and you’re describing your own current version of that. I know how you feel about your life being stuck in an “average” phase, and not having enough time. I’m so there, but probably to a lesser degree. I think other people have said this too, but as far as blogging content, one of the things that keeps bringing me back is how genuine and real you are in conveying whatever it is you might be talking about. So…hang in there and I hope the feelings of self-doubt and such pass and bring some inspiration on their way out. Let life happen even though it feels sucky sometimes. Enjoy the convention this weekend.
So, I had something to say. Something simple and yet empathetic–but hell, it is unlikely it is any different than the myriad of other comments made here. Or for that matter, unlikely you’ll read it.
BUT, in the off chance that you do: Just keep doing what you love. And the averageness will eventually pass to greater things. It is the cycle of life.
Happy blogging–and I’ll keep reading (just like the rest of ’em).
I’m a newer reader. I came to your blog because I heard that Wil Wheaton had a weblog, and my first thought was, “Right. This is going to be hilarious, or at least pathetic.”
Needless to say, I was surprised to find your writing witty, genuine, and yes, INTERESTING (though I do see what people are talking about). You may not be satisfied with yourself right now, but you’re a great writer, certainly better than me at least. I look forward to your posts, especially the ones where you’re brave enough to talk about your family life with anonymous strangers.
As for all the existential crisis you’re feeling, this may sound arrogant coming from a 23 year old, but: mid-life crisis maybe?
Your commentors may be some of the strangest I’ve ever seen, but they seem to be extremely devoted.
OK, Wil, so I don’t have much to add that’s any different than what everyone else has said. But I guess I’ve been a fan for 20 years or so now. I googled something (who knows what now?) to get to your site a couple of years ago, and I stayed. And I read everyday. And yes, your blog inspired me to be a blogger too.
Now that I’ve realized I have an audience for my blog I sometimes worry if they’re interested in what I’m writing. But at the end of the day it’s my blog and if they don’t like a particular post, they can either move on permanantly or come back tomorrow.
You’re an excellent writer. You’re a fantastic actor, one of my favorites. You’re a great guy, a great dad and a great husband. I love reading whatever you write.
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I know we are own worst critics, but I hate to see someone so great feeling so down about himself.
I read/visit… for all of it. You’re a genuine sort of guy… a natural talent… easy to relate to on many levels… (okay… i don’t get most of the poker stuff, but it doesn’t stop me from coming around)
I get the whole revamping thing. I’ve done it over and over, in other areas… as writing is not my forte. Seems like you’re on the edge of a new experience and I always find that exciting… no matter how it turns out.
As you point out clearly here… at the end of the day, you’ve gotta please YOU!
Just keep doing that… and maybe tuck something in the back of your head about finding financing for your own movie project!!! I’ve bought your book, I’d go see your film. 😀
Dude. You do improv. You *KNOW* the cardinal rule of improv.
Trust yourself.
Trust that you’ll make the right decisions. They may not seem right at the time, they may even seem ludicris (sp?), but they’re YOUR decisions.
It’s when we lose trust in ourselves that we get scared and can’t function properly.
When I’m an entertainment mogul, I’m totally signing you to a development deal, too. 🙂
Aw, Wil, I always enjoy reading what you have to say. Many of the stories and feelings and dreams you’ve shared have moved me immeasurably, and links to your entries often get sent out en masse to my friends and family. In terms of “failing” at acting – your successes in life far outweigh whatever “failures” you count yourself as having accrued. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but you know it’s true. And I hope you keep trying with acting, because when they film the movie version of Mary Doria Russell’s The Sparrow, I want to see you as Father John Candotti. Seriously!
Ouch Wil. You have got to be one of the most self-critical people I know of (except for me, my husband, my best friend Kim, my hair stylist, my cat…). My point is, I think half of what gets you down sometimes is not the troubles you face, it’s that you think you should feel bad for feeling bad about them. That will be 5 cents please…
Actually, I love reading your blog, not because you’re an actor that has already done better than most working actors, or because you write well, and have made a career of that too, but because you’re an interesting person, whose life is so similar, yet also completely different from my own.
You’re right that you can’t please everyone, so don’t even try. Everyone who reads your blog came here for their own reasons, and have stayed for their own reasons. I have no desire for you to tailor your content to my particular interests. I’ll read what I want, and skip the rest, although I read most of it anyway.
I don’t know about painting cows, but once, when my dad was a kid, he painted his dog. It didn’t kill the dog, but he didn’t exactly thrive after that either.
I don’t know if that’s an insightful metaphor about not doing something that doesn’t come naturally in the name of standing out from a crowd, or a hilarious story of my old man doing something really stupid. Either way, it’s worth sharing.
Will, (best British accent) “chin up there, old boy”. Call this a down spot and take a deep breath, close your eyes for a moment, open them, see Anne and the kids and everything you love about your life and then smile that smile we all love to see (and hear in your voice on RFB). To create is life and you are creating now.
You have an amazing talent, a creative and inspirational heart, and a beautiful (very much alive) soul; and htat is what we all come here for. Up or down. You.