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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

the mystery hotel

  • WWdN in Exile

Shane Nickerson's Mystery HotelShane posted this picture of a mystery hotel in his blog over the weekend, and I suggested to him that it would be cool to have writers post short stories that it inspires.

I’ll be honest: I’m terrified right now, before I hit publish and send this out into the wild. I’m not the best in the world at brevity, and whenever I attempt fiction, I feel incredibly self conscious.

I also made the mistake of reading Otis’ story after I wrote mine, and I feel (like I often do when I read Otis’ writing) like a kid who belongs at the card table, pretending to sit down in the dining room with the adults.

So now that I’ve managed to lower your expectations to UPN-like standards, please enjoy. . .

Room 302

by Wil

Farnsworth frowned as he shuffled the photos. He dropped them on his desk and looked over the top of his reading glasses.

"I can’t use any of these, son. I can hardly see the men, and there’s too much whitespace in here." He picked up one photo and pointed at the tin ceiling. Martin recalled how brightly it had reflected the flash, and how the younger man had flinched in the light. 

"Mr. Farnsworth –"

"Look, you’re a good kid, and even if your photos aren’t always front page material, you rarely let me down."

"Thank you, sir."

"I know that you have a baby on the way, but I can’t pay you for photos that I can’t use." He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands across his chest. "Hotels don’t stay in one family and celebrate their hundredth anniversary every day, though, so it’s news that I need to run. So why don’t you go back to the hotel, get a closer shot of the Ellisons, and I’ll pay you double for it." Farnsworth smiled, and put the photos into an envelope.

"I’ll see what I can do, sir. Thank you." Martin took the envelope and traded the quiet of Farnsworth’s office for the chaos of the newsroom.

Martin needed the money, and it was important to keep a man like Richard Farnsworth happy. Evelyn was due in two months, and these freelance newspaper jobs were all he had.

But he wasn’t going back into the Ellison, today or ever. There was something very, very wrong there, and Martin felt it in his soul when he walked up the stairs into the second floor lobby. Those men were terrified, and Martin wanted to get out of there before he found out why.

He took the number five bus home, and left the envelope on the seat when he got off. The sooner he could get way from it, the sooner he could begin the long process of wiping that feeling from his memory. He hugged his wife tightly when he walked into their apartment and felt his unborn son stir between them.

Back at the Ellison Hotel, the tenant in 302 woke and rang the front desk. Father and son looked at each other.

It was time to eat.

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3 April, 2006 Wil

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some cinderella kid → ← alive in the weeds

83 thoughts on “the mystery hotel”

  1. DRKellogg says:
    4 April, 2006 at 7:56 am

    I loved your story, but I’d say it was more “Night Gallery” than “Twilight Zone”. That’s OK by me, though!
    Did you ever see a movie called “Burnt Offerings” with Karen Black and Oliver Reed? It was a Dan Curtis (RIP) Production, but IMO, the scariest thing he ever did. Your story reminds me of that movie. Check it out sometime.

  2. kyradk says:
    4 April, 2006 at 7:56 am

    Awesome little piece. I want more now though!

  3. Ryan says:
    4 April, 2006 at 8:11 am

    Good and creepy.

  4. hanna says:
    4 April, 2006 at 8:16 am

    What happens next???
    I hate when there’s a cliffhanger. Guess I’ll have to keep tuning in …

  5. Edwin Gore's Dopey Homepage! says:
    4 April, 2006 at 8:23 am

    Mystery Hotel

    Shane Nickerson at Nickerblog has put up an interesting looking old photograph of a hotel lobby from the early twenties. Wil Wheaton then proposed that people should write short, 300 word stories inspired by the picture. Here is mine. it’s…

  6. Mona says:
    4 April, 2006 at 8:43 am

    A little Stephen King, a little Poe, a little Twilight Zone…nice, Wil! Do more of these!
    I tried my hand at it, but am currently dumpin’ the hate on it.
    http://yawpmona.blogspot.com/2006/04/wil-wheatonshane-nickerson-writing.html

  7. Andy Affleck says:
    4 April, 2006 at 8:52 am

    Very creepy. Inspires me to try my hand at one. We’ll see if I can eke out the time in my day… I like how you managed to create a fleshed out character with so few words. That takes considerable talent!

  8. Joe says:
    4 April, 2006 at 9:57 am

    How about this?
    Radio Free Burrito – Fiction Edition Episodes
    A story such as the one above, narrated episode style.
    Just a thought. I’d certainly be listening to it.

  9. tony mcdowell says:
    4 April, 2006 at 10:30 am

    Joe’s suggestion rocks. If all of my favorite authors had blogs where they narrated original fiction, I’d PAY to listen to it.
    That would be simply fantastic.

  10. MistyB78 says:
    4 April, 2006 at 10:48 am

    HAWESOME IDEA JOE-
    now if only I had thought of it 😛
    What say you Wil?

  11. eyduck says:
    4 April, 2006 at 11:02 am

    Creepy as all get out. Nicely done.

  12. AngieZ says:
    4 April, 2006 at 11:44 am

    Otis may have had a slight edge on plot, but you killed him on characterization. That is your strong suit in writing, and the most valuable one to have. No matter the genre, we enivitably read for the characters. I’ve thought for a very long time that you should be writing fiction (novels, rather than short stories, so you have room to develop the tales) – it’s your destiny.

  13. Joe says:
    4 April, 2006 at 12:05 pm

    Thank you tony mcdowell and MistyB78! 🙂

  14. Kim says:
    4 April, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    Nice job Wil!
    I was looking for a writing prompt for today..guess i have you and Nickerblog to thank now! I normally write poetry, and SOOOO had an idea in my head once i saw the picture, but used the chance to try something other than poetry.
    Again, great job…and will you write more?
    Please?

  15. mobtek says:
    4 April, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    Excellent story. Very ominous and mysterious. I hacked one up too — went a rather different route than the other entries I’ve spied — and I trackbacked to Nickerblog as well. Hope you catch it.
    http://www.visiblewear.com/?p=4

  16. Visible Wear says:
    4 April, 2006 at 1:20 pm

    A Splinter in Time

    “Just what the hell is going on?” Devane asked in shocked disbelief.
    The archaeological society had searched for the lost frontier town for years before declaring it a myth. Despite Devane’s insistence of its existence his colleagues had subm…

  17. Kathleen says:
    4 April, 2006 at 1:26 pm

    scary! I like it!

  18. franko says:
    4 April, 2006 at 2:59 pm

    hi-ho, there wil —
    in the same vein of “scary old photos”, ron over at Big Happy Fun House (http://www.bighappyfunhouse.com/) has found photographic evidence that you are a cyborg from the past — but i stuck up for ya. anyway, check out this amazing old photo of your doppleganger! (scroll down past the evil george bush doppleganger) http://tinyurl.com/fb7vc

  19. kilnpublications says:
    4 April, 2006 at 3:43 pm

    Hey Wil or anyone interested. A movie called The Girls Room is on Lifetime right now starring our very own Wil. My wife called me in to tell me….

  20. tara says:
    4 April, 2006 at 4:48 pm

    That ending sucks. Why don’t you make it so that Martin goes home, and shoots his wife, then he runs away and joins the Texas Rangers? Something good like that.

  21. KenVanBrunt says:
    4 April, 2006 at 7:33 pm

    Oh, Kudos to tara for that great reference. Made me laugh.
    Great story Wil. Beautiful, eerie ending or jump off point.
    Brilliant as ever.

  22. KrisBKreme says:
    4 April, 2006 at 7:51 pm

    Dear Wil,
    I really liked your story!!!!
    How ironic it is to find you here. Do you remember a girl in dreads, and a Bob Marley shirt on, chasing you down the Fun Zone arcade in Balboa CA.?
    After yelling “THAT”S WIL WHEATON!!” you took off running into the back of the store? Say 1988ish? That’s ME!
    Ha Ha…You also gave an autograph to the guy working there for me. I saw you later at the Del Taco, ordering drinks…
    Small world. I still have the autograph, and with huge stars in my eyes, I tell all I know about that encounter…
    Listen, Wil…Keep doing what your doing…I am proud of you.
    Never forget us crazy folk who chased ya down!
    I am glad to hear that your life has gone on.
    By the way, I have normal hair, still love Bob Marley..married with kids too! And the ironic thing is my maiden name is the same as your step children.
    Love and God be with you.
    Kris

  23. SandieK says:
    4 April, 2006 at 8:48 pm

    Awesome story, as usual. Ill put up my meager offering to this thing soon as I type it up and figure out how trackback works. Failing that, Ill just stick a link here.
    Here’s another thought…what about making something like this a weekly thing? Post a new pic each week for one of these.

  24. SandieK says:
    4 April, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    Here’s the link to mine. LJ crocked up formatting, and I dont have time to fix it at the moment. Cant figure out trackback to save my life. Oh well

  25. internetotaku says:
    4 April, 2006 at 11:16 pm

    Great stuff as always, Mr. Wheaton. I love the idea that picture presents and I hope others attempt something like this. I remember the news paper in my area when I lived in Florida used to run a paragraph for Halloween and then you had to complete the story in under X ammount of words; I always liked participating in that. I’ll be sure to give this a try on my blog. Anyway, I’m glad to see creative-writing on the blog; it affords a rare chance to see more of your talent as a writer.

  26. KaliAmanda says:
    5 April, 2006 at 7:07 am

    I liked it: creepy and fun! If we are voting on it, I LOVE the idea of a RFB Fiction Edition. I really like the idea of you going all Vincent Price in my head as I listen to the podcast. The very idea gives me chills!

  27. biggestron says:
    5 April, 2006 at 10:43 am

    You’re travelling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind…next stop – the wwdn zone.
    Nice story Wil.

  28. manduca says:
    5 April, 2006 at 10:54 am

    nice! short short fiction is super hard, but you got a whole story in. i think the creepiness of the picture is much more apparent when you can see the detail of the men in the pic; maybe you could post a cropped version too?
    something else i wonder about the picture: why are there all those wall calendars?
    ciao

  29. sazbean says:
    5 April, 2006 at 11:13 am

    Wil,
    I think this was a nice start to a short story. It really captured my imagination and my attention.
    I also read Otis’ and while I thought it was also good, it didn’t make me want to read more as much as yours did.
    Thanks for sharing!

  30. CosmicDog's Awareness says:
    5 April, 2006 at 1:46 pm

    Mystery Hotel

    Since Wil Wheaton is one of my writing inspirations, I figured I would take on one his writing challenges. This is originally from Shane Nickerson’s Nickerblog. The hardest part for me was getting it down to under 300 words. My

  31. Ignatz says:
    6 April, 2006 at 12:13 pm

    Oooooohhhh! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
    I really liked your story! It reminded me of the stories I used to read in the old Alfred Hitchcock anthologies.
    I esp. liked that you followed Mark Twain’s advice: “Don’t tell us the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream!”
    I would love to see more memes like this!
    Ignatz

  32. napoleondynamitefan says:
    8 April, 2006 at 2:45 pm

    Dude, I read this post a few days ago and last night, I dreamt that I was in a hotel room and the phone rang. I think it was dark, too. Anyway, I picked up the phone and the person on the other end said, “It’s time to eat.” I immediately woke up and looked around the room in the dark. After my heart beat was regular and I figured out that it was just a dream, I went back to sleep.

  33. jtbwriter says:
    9 April, 2006 at 7:17 pm

    Oh that is too creepy for
    words-good work, Wil!
    I tried enlarging that pic-and it really looks spooky-
    something like out of “Thriller” (the Boris Karloff one)!
    I think it would be fun if you did something like this every couple of weeks!
    Thanks!

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