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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

thanks, but i think i’ll pass . . .

  • WWdN in Exile

How funny is it that I’m decrying the retcon and bitching about the "reinventing" of Star Trek on the same day that io9 writes Captain Wesley Crusher: SIS:

The Star Trek franchise has always been about "big picture" stories,
but the next Trek series should take the opposite approach, narrow the
scope and focus on a few well-developed characters – primarily Wesley
Crusher. Yes, the much maligned ensign should be brought back as the
captain of a Starfleet science vessel that warps around the Alpha
Quadrant solving mysteries for the Federation. Think of it as CSI . . .
in space! Here’s how it would work …

How do they handle the whole Traveler thing? Easy:

Oh yeah, about that whole resigning from Starfleet and tripping around
the universe with that space-hippie, The Traveler? One word: retcon.

The whole thing is very entertaining, and I honestly don’t know what to say when a science fiction site says nice things about me, so I’ll just say thank you.

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5 May, 2008 Wil

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three quick things → ← highlights from my damn geeky weekend

47 thoughts on “thanks, but i think i’ll pass . . .”

  1. prof_rocko says:
    5 May, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    Yay, retcon! Uh… what were we talking about just now??

  2. Mad Monk says:
    5 May, 2008 at 7:48 pm

    It’s weird how we are all naturally suspect of those who are nice to us.

  3. Mad Monk says:
    5 May, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    Or, in this case, nice to Weslely.
    What would Lego Wesley say about it all?

  4. Wil says:
    5 May, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Reprinted from a comment I left at Bad Astronomy Blog:
    ”
    Assuming it was serious, and CBS asked me to play Wesley again, I’d almost certainly say “thank you, but I think I’ll pass.” I’m 35 now; stepping back into a character that I haven’t really played (Nemesis doesn’t count) in 20 years doesn’t really appeal to me, especially since I’m more interested in writing than I am in on-camera acting.
    Interestingly (to me, at least) I was recently offered a chance to write a TNG story, with the caveat that it had to be a Wesley story. I thought about it a for a few days, but decided that I couldn’t do it. I mean, how was that going to be good for me? Either way, I’d be accused of pulling a Mary Sue or an anti-Mary Sue, and when I thought about it — I mean, *really* thought about it — I realized that there isn’t anything that interests me about playing that character again.”

  5. jdmack says:
    5 May, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    It’s been a long time since I’ve read a “Star Trek: TNG” novel, but I do remember one which takes place in the future and where Wesley C. is a captain. So there already exists a sanctioned universe where this series could take place.
    J. D.

  6. SandieK says:
    5 May, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    @madmonk
    Weird how we suspect when someone does/says nice things about us? Pah. Sadly, Im at a point where my first thought is something along the lines of “okay, NOW what do you want from me” when this happens. Even from my family and friends.
    Although..Star Trek CSI sounds almost interesting. Theres not much to screw up in another CSI series, as Miami is almost completely FUBARd and you cant get much worse.
    Besides, Id rather see a series/movie based around Klingons and Kahless.

  7. Ed G says:
    5 May, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    Picture the scene: you hear a steady *beep* *beep* from outside. You look and it’s JJ Abrams backing a dump truck full of money into your driveway.
    Would you at least think about it? 🙂

  8. Fia says:
    5 May, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    Hell, I’d watch it. Sci-fi plus crime procedural? That’s pretty much my idea of perfection.

  9. Mad Monk says:
    5 May, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    @SandieK
    It’s draining, isn’t it?
    I work in a helping profession (clergy) and I tend to see people as energy giving or soul-sucking vampires.
    I guess I avoid the latter; however, I am an eternal optimist.

  10. John Welch says:
    5 May, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    J.D., IIRC, “Imzadi”, by Peter David had Wesley as a captain. Data was a Commodore IIRC. (I’d be more definite, but I’m in FL, and the book is in MO)
    Good book too.
    The problem with Star Trek:CSI is that they’d have to can the standard ST plot devices:
    1) Space-Going Wedgie of Ultimate Cosmic Power
    2) YA Alien Race we don’t understand until the last commercial break
    3) HOLOSUITE MALFUNCTION. (Seriously, why the HELL did anyone go in those things, they were always trying to kill people. Like some futuristic version of Saw)
    4) YA doohickey fucking with space-time. Space-Time in the future is pretty damned delicate if you ask me.
    5) Crewman goes nuts, does bad things until the last commercial break. (I think the future lost the recipe for Prozac. Or Tasers)
    6) Someone’s having a damned civil war/treaty problem.
    My personal “Should have been an episode of TNG” fave is “Spot’s Day” by Diane Duane, (Probably the best ST author ever). She used to have the script on her site, it’s a scream.

  11. sorakirei says:
    5 May, 2008 at 8:46 pm

    Bwahahahahaha that picture is brilliant! Personally I’d love to see that, though I’m not certain if it would work past an episode or two.

  12. ScottBieser says:
    5 May, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    Wesley Crusher was mostly ok as a supporting character in an ensemble cast. As a lead character, captaining a starship? No. And I actually prefer the idea of Wesley going to ever-higher planes of existence and never being heard from again until a century later when he joins the Q Continuum or something like that.
    Now, a Star Trek CSI show? Well, that could work, and it would affirm Harlan Ellison’s take that ST is really a cop show anyway.

  13. Erbo says:
    5 May, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Aw, darn…I always wanted to see a new Star Trek series featuring the brand new USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-J), and, in the first episode, have it visited by Admiral Wesley Crusher, saying, “This is a new ship, but she’s got the right name. You treat her like a lady, and she’ll always bring you home.” 🙂

  14. merindab says:
    5 May, 2008 at 9:18 pm

    I just love that picture. CSI: Star Trek, not so much.
    Though can I confess I actually cried when Wesley went off with the Traveler?

  15. malty says:
    5 May, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    I’d watch a spinoff with just Q Continuum characters, personally. That could actually be interesting– kind of taking what makes Spiderman or Star Trek interesting (the human element) and going the exact opposite way. I bet a good writer could explore some really big themes using omnipotent characters who can’t easily be drawn into standard dramatic forms.

  16. Hisham says:
    5 May, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    I’m trying to figure out which The Who song will be in the opening credits.

  17. Wil says:
    5 May, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    @Hisham: I vote for “The Seeker.”

  18. Melanie Fletcher says:
    5 May, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    I thought the Star Trek/CSI crossover was already on the air — after all, CSI: NY has holograms, tricorders, and high-tech equipment that Dr. Crusher would be proud to have in her sickbay, plus the pocket universe that allows them to get DNA results back in a day or two.

  19. Rowlock says:
    5 May, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    Now that you mention it, how were they proposing to retcon Wesley’s appearance at the wedding in Nemesis, anyways?

  20. kriss says:
    5 May, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    I just hope they don’t overdose thousands of geeks on retcon, can you imagine the mayhem when anyone said “Torchwood”?

  21. pandave says:
    6 May, 2008 at 12:29 am

    Really though? I’d kill for a that show. If not for the fact that we’d get to see you A. in the captains chair and B. back on star trek, but it sounds it’d be the first good ST show since the voyager reached earth.

  22. Anna Harriman says:
    6 May, 2008 at 12:38 am

    @kriss: When I saw “retcon,” I IMMEDIATELY thought of Torchwood. Glad to see someone else gets it.
    @Wil: My vote goes to I Can See For Miles. Am I going to get rocks thrown at me for not knowing The Seeker? *prepares to duck*

  23. Alan says:
    6 May, 2008 at 1:20 am

    The Traveller doesn’t need to be retconned. This is my version of what happened to Wesley.
    Wesley ended up gaining control of a small starship early in his adventures with the Traveller. It turned out that the Traveller could manipulate the drive engines of that ship to travel across galaxies without straining himself too much. Not acting as a representative of Starfleet, Wesley quickly abandoned the Prime Directive in favor of his own very idealized version of right and wrong. He mucks around with alien culture and ends up with a rag tag crew of alien refuges. Wesley ends up marrying one of the hot female aliens. It is one of the happiest times of his life. He is in love. He has a loyal crew that believes in him. He is making beneficial impacts on the places he visits.
    Then he ends up in a situation where his mucking around goes very, very wrong. Most of his crew is killed, including his wife. The Traveller, as his last act, transports his ship back to the Federation. Wesley limps back to Earth just in time to help defend the Earth from the Borg attack in First Contact.
    Based on his experience as a Captain and his performance in that battle, Wesley is offered an officer’s commission and fast-tracked for Captain.

  24. fferret says:
    6 May, 2008 at 5:04 am

    I like the idea, but I think the nay-sayers, including Wil, are missing a significant point: This is not Wesley from however-many-years-ago that was. This is a new Wesley. He may have changed, been traumatized, gotten laid (finally!), any number of things we cannot imagine. It’s a big universe, people! On the other hand, Wil’s aversion to the character is pretty well known at this point. On the gripping hand, Wil could write a book about it! Do it, Mr. Wheaton! Make it so! (Sorry, I got a little Picarded away there.)

  25. davidl says:
    6 May, 2008 at 5:04 am

    Speaking of retcon, I’d go for “Torchwood in Space”, over CSI. A ST police procedural would effectively boil down to putting your suspects in a room, finding a Betazoid and waiting for someone to make a mental slip.
    And because I have way too much free time right now…
    “Flat Trees… outside the Federation, beyond the law. Fighting for the future of the Alpha Quadrant. The Twenty-Fourth Century is when it all goes to heck in a handbasket… again…, and Flat Trees is ready.”
    Damn it. I am so going to have to write that script now.

  26. SandieK says:
    6 May, 2008 at 5:41 am

    @Erbo Enterprise J? Dare I ask what happened to F-I?
    Am I the only one that thinks its amusing that all pre-post responses are done a la twitterish? While Im on that topic, anyone else have twitter? Im only following two people, and one of them doesnt count because its a local job udate thingy.

  27. Kim the fangirl says:
    6 May, 2008 at 6:05 am

    I have this theory about Wesley and what became of him after he went off in the galactic VW Bus with the Traveler.
    I’m almost afraid to put it out there because I’m just borderline geek and when I say stuff like this, people ask me to up my dosage. Anyway, here goes:
    I think that Wesley evolves into Q. I think he becomes Q and shows up as John DeLancie because he knows if he shows up as Wesley, Picard won’t take him seriously enough to save humanity or whatever he had to do that episode. Discuss.
    Star Trek:CSI would dilute the universe to Law & Order levels. I would love to have a reason to turn on my TV again, but back to the drawing board.

  28. Lancer says:
    6 May, 2008 at 6:37 am

    “tripping around the universe with that space-hippie” LOL. More peyote Wesley?

  29. Ryan says:
    6 May, 2008 at 7:12 am

    I’d watch it. (Who am I kidding, I’d watch any Star Trek show.)

  30. ech says:
    6 May, 2008 at 7:31 am

    IIRC, the Powers That Were in the ST universe did some focus groups on possible new ST series. One was “Young Kirk and the crew”, one was “Starfleet Academy” (which supposedly was as much OC/90210 as ST), and one was a Starfleet Special Ops team.
    I thought the last had potential, it would be, in today’s terms, a cross between The Unit and Secret Agent. (Hmmmm…. maybe Wesley actually knew the truth about the aliens taking over Star Fleet in “Conspiracy” and was really sent to The Village. “I am not a number, I am a free blogger!”)

  31. The Bad Astronomer says:
    6 May, 2008 at 8:25 am

    Happily no one ever says nice things about me, so I don’t have to worry about it.
    Hmmm. Maybe Crusher could be disgusted with Starfleet, commandeer his own ship, and use it to steal and pillage.. becoming the Dread Pirate Wesley.
    That has Bruckheimer written all over it.

  32. Hishgraphics says:
    6 May, 2008 at 8:28 am

    I’d Pay Good Money To See This TV Show

    So anyway, to cut things short IO9 pitched in jest the idea for Star Trek: Captain Wesley Crusher, Starfleet Investigative Services starring Wil Wheaton. Here#39;s an excerpt: Yes, the much maligned ensign should be brought back as the captain of …

  33. blooflame says:
    6 May, 2008 at 8:33 am

    How about bringing back _Walter_ on CSI:ST? He could have a light blue uniform, which he found somewhere, and sleep under a holo-bush somewhere. He’d be mysteriously 3 or 4 centuries old of course, which would be the focus one of the investigations by the CSI team.
    Oh yeah – before I forget. What are they going to do about the scenes where they investigate in the dark, with flashlights? A powered-down space station, and laser flashlights?

  34. Hisham says:
    6 May, 2008 at 8:37 am

    I have an idea on my blog how a teaser for Wesley Crusher: SIS would work!
    Hee hee.

  35. Mad Monk says:
    6 May, 2008 at 8:47 am

    I remember when the trailer for Insurrection came out, it gave the impression that the Enterprise was being hunted down by Starfleet vessels, because of Picard’s ideology. I thought, “This will be good!”
    Then it was just a bunch of face-stretching and anti-aging technophobes.
    Oh well.

  36. Russe1l says:
    6 May, 2008 at 8:59 am

    Wil wrote: “There have been ten Trek movies, and I’d say that two of them are accessible to mainstream audiences, another two are great, and the remaining six are nearly unwatchable.”
    Wil, there’s gotta be a post somewhere on your site where you’ve ranked the Trek Movies. Can you point us to to that or would you let us know what the 2 mainstreams, 2 greats and 6 nearly unwatchables are?
    I’m pretty sure I already know, but just want to make sure that I am OR am not that joiner OR wacko who conforms to popular opinion OR defies mainstream convention.

  37. PatrickD says:
    6 May, 2008 at 9:04 am

    It seems very likely that I’d watch it, buy it on iTunes, and buy the seasons on DVD.
    The only other show I’ve done that for is The Office…until NBC ripped their stuff off iTunes.

  38. deraven says:
    6 May, 2008 at 9:50 am

    I know you said Nemesis doesn’t count (because they cut the scene, I assume?), but you were still there in the background in the theatrical release (it’s canon! 😉 ) in what appeared to be a dress uniform. I was wondering if anything was discussed in the way of explanation about having left Starfleet and such then. Anything at all?

  39. Wil says:
    6 May, 2008 at 10:02 am

    I don’t think anyone would surrender to the Dread Pirate Wesley . . .

  40. Anna Harriman says:
    6 May, 2008 at 10:24 am

    @Wil: I dunno. I mean, if he just randomly appeared out of nowhere in my living room, I’d be too damned scared to do anything BUT surrender…

  41. Jabbertrack says:
    6 May, 2008 at 10:47 am

    This idea is awesome IMO… as long as it’s a lot like Quantum Leap and you say a catch phrase at the beginning and end of every episode.
    DO NOT forget the plucky sidekick.

  42. R. Daneel says:
    6 May, 2008 at 11:14 am

    Alan, you’re reading my mind — here’s what I posted at io9:
    “I also agree that no retcon is needed for the Traveler. Make it a central mystery of the show. Why isn’t he out cruising around with the Travelers? What happened? He won’t talk about it, and it’s possible the one thing he seems bitter about. An ongoing plotline about some dark undiscovered secret in Crusher’s past would add spice.”

  43. Craig Steffen says:
    6 May, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Well, wait…here’s a thought about Wesley-the-traveller-as-captain:
    Run it as classic dramatic irony. The crew knows that they’re captained by someone who’s a Starfleet veteran but no one can find out what he’s actually done, other than serve on the Enterprise-D very early in his career. You have drama created because the Captain can’t get too chummy with the crew, lest they find out. You also have the possibility of a senior officer getting cross-wise with the captain and ultimately confronting him.
    There would just have to be some plausible reason for Wesley-the-traveler would allow himself to be tied to a physical ship rather than on his own. We’ll need to work on that.

  44. Mister Groonk says:
    6 May, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    Wesley Crusher, CSI would be like “L in Space”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L_%28Death_Note%29

  45. markr says:
    6 May, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    If they made the series about Wesley and it wasn’t you? Can’t think of a much stranger turn of events…I’d imagine a series with Wesley more like an adventurer/archeologist trying to find the coolest high tech gadgets in the universe, ala Indiana Jones but with smarts. How about an anti-Wesley series?

  46. jdmack says:
    6 May, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    WAIT! I GOT IT!! Imagine – Wesley is a Star Fleet captain chasing after the most wanted man in the universe – Zaphod Beeblebrox!
    Think of the possibilities!
    J. D.

  47. spinne1 says:
    8 May, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    I am late to the party with this comment (won’t generally be read…) but I bet Wil would change his mind about this series IF they could get Ms. Ashley Judd to play Robin Lefler as his wife/partner in anti-crime!
    You know what would REALLY be fun for fans? Reintroduce lots of fringe characters from TNG into real and substantive plots involving their lives. For example, have the chick Picard was friends with at the academy (and *did it* with in his alternate reality) be a crew member on Wesley’s ship and in charge of storage and analysis of all artifacts/evidence found in their journeys. Etc., etc.

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